66

FIRE AND SMOKE.

FRENCH COMMUNIST. ALLONS, MON AMI, LET US GO BURN OUR INCENSE ON THE ALTAR OF EQUALITY." BRITISH WORKMAN. "THANKS, MOSSOO, BUT I'D RATHER SMOKE MY 'BACCY ON THE HEARTH OF LIBERTY."

THEMIS forefend that we should prejudge the great case. But we must have our joke. Suppose SIR JOHN had asked SIR ROGER whether this were Greek or Latin,-"Gnothi se-Orton"?

of liberal soul." MR. WALTON should have been at the recent ban"AN Angler," remarks good IzAAK WALTON, "should be a man quet of the Thames Angling Preservation Society (a very useful body, be it noted), and he should have done a little calculation. For 124 persons sat down, and when the subscriptions were announced, it was found that one gentleman had given £20, four gentlemen had given £5 each, and the remaining 119 had given, among them, the gigantic sum of Thirty Pounds! How much is this per Hook ? However, MR. WALTON has also remarked that "little fishes are sweet."

EVENINGS FROM HOME.

To the Princess's to see MR. EDMUND FALCONER's new Drama. Old materials well worked up. A cleverly contrived sensation scene, and the whole piece perfectly successful. We have, before this, observed that a first night's audience is an exceptional one, that it does not represent the public, whose verdict is the only one worth "money" to the Manager and Author. Again, the first performance of a piece is seldom anything more than a last rehearsal with scenery and costumes. Had MR. FALCONER or MR. B. WEBSTER been able to call a "dress rehearsal" of his piece, the removal of, at least, two glaring absurdities in costume, most dangerous to the success of the whole, would, we may fairly suppose, have been the result. Should these have escaped the notice of the Stage Manager, we beg to call his attention to them in the subjoined sketch of the first representation of

EILEEN OGE,

OR,

DARK'S THE HOUR BEFORE THE DAWN!

SCENE-Stalls. TIME-7:30 P.M.

Earnest Inquirer (after perusing bill). What does Eileen Oge mean?

Charles, his friend (a patron of first nights). Eileen Oge? Eh? O, something the same as the Colleen Bawn. (Explains). It's Irish, you know. (Examines bill and comes to another conclusion). No, by the way, it's translated in the second line; it means, of course, "Dark's the hour before the dawn."

Earnest Inquirer (dubiously). Do you think he means that by putting in "or" (They think it over.)

Superior Person (behind them, very much aloud). Eileen Oge is Irish for Young Ellen.

Persons in front and about look up to Superior Person, and communicate information to friends. Finding it afterwards in the bill, they alter their opinion as to Superior Person's superiority.

ACT I.

SCENE 1. Pretty landscape by LLOYDS. N.B. All scenery good, specially the "front scenes," which have to stand upon their own merits as samples of scene-painting.

JOHN THOMAS and BRIDGET discovered. Rustling of bills, reference to names. They commence dialogue, inaudible on account of hum and buzz in the front. Note for Dramatic Authors, Don't waste your witticisms on the opening of a piece; it might as well be a pantomime, with dialogue spoken under the difficulties of Large Heads. Laughing begins. They say or do something funny on the stage.

Deaf Gentleman (interested almost to agitation, under the impression that he's losing an important portion of the plot; to his Daughter). What does he say? eh? (Daughter repeats to him what he says. Deaf Gentleman satisfied, and his neighbours, of course, highly gratified).

Patrick O'Donnell (a young Gentleman Farmer, addressing MR. MORIARTY, an old Gentleman Farmer, of an undecided character). You see, Sir, I've brought the Priest to explain to you-whyEnter the Catholic Priest, the REV. MR. MAHONEY, (MR. BARRETT). He is dressed like a Protestant Archdeacon, with the exception of the hat, which is made probably after a pattern of his own, being a cut between the low-crowned one much affected by secondrate sporting men, and the shape peculiar to Bishops of the Establishment. This, perhaps, has a deep meaning in it, and is intended to convey some notion of the liberal and unsectarian character of the good FATHER MAHONEY, the "Soggarth Aroon," or true Pastor of his Flock." On reviewing the matter thoroughly, and taking into consideration that he wears full grey whiskers (so TYPICAL of the Roman Catholic Clergy in Ireland, who, of course, ALL have whiskers, and are never clean shaven), a Tommy Dodd" sort of hat, Protestant Dignitary's dress, and no collar (of course, also, not generally worn by Roman Catholic Clergy, or why call it ROMAN collar ?), we

cannot help coming to the conclusion that, after all, this is just what we should have expected from a " Soggarth Aroon." The Rev. Soggarth Aroon (sadly). I'll explain (explains why PATRICK can't marry MISS ELLEN MORIARTY).

[N.B. Charmingly played throughout by MISS ROSE LECLERCQ. Deaf Person in Stalls (to his Daughter). What does he say? His Daughter (listening intently to Play). I don't know, Papa; I didn't quite catch.

[Deaf Gentleman tries what he can do for himself. Miss Moriarty (being asked by her Father, the old Gentleman Farmer, a very foolish old man, what she 'll do, replies) O, PATRICK, because you're poor, is it a reason, &c., &c.? A wife should share, &c., &c.

[Sentiments to that effect. Highly satisfactory, specially to the REV. SOGGARTH AROON, who takes his hat off every other minute, just to throw in a sort of religious toast or sentiment. N.B. "Traits and Peculiarities of the Irish Priesthood," new work to be expected from THE SOGGARTH AROON.

Miss Moriarty (piously). Your blessing, father.

The Rev. Soggarth Aroon (placing both hands on her head, as if he were going to shampoo her, says). May Heaven, &c. &c. (which is evasive, as HIS blessing was asked. But no matter. It only shows how ignorant we still are of the habits and manners of the Irish priesthood.)

[End of Scene. Striking Tableau; the prominent object being the REV. SOGGARTH AROON's hat raised in the air for another bow and sentiment or blessing.

SCENE 2. The Middleman's Office Unfurnished. Enter Bilious-looking Scotch Scoundrel, very heavy under the eyes. No one could mistake him for a virtuous person, on account of the obtrusively villanous pattern of his trousers. A villain with bad taste for light summer wear.

Scotch Middleman (to his gentlemanly but equally villanous employer, MR. LOFTUS). I'll just forge a letter, and make the young man, &c. &c. [Sends for his Clerk to assist in forging a letter. Enter his Clerk, evidently chosen for his present occupation on account of his success in some comic ballet, where he must have played a sort of dancing notary. The plot goes on, chiefly in Scotch at this point, and they go off.

SCENE 3. Same as Scene 1. MISS ROSE LECLERCQ more charming than ever in a bridal dress. Wedding interrupted by Villanous Scotchman, Villanous MR. LOFTUS, and Constabulary. Gentleman Farmer (foolishly to Chief Policeman). O don't take him, Sir; I'm sure it's a mistake. [Is scorned by Chief Policeman. Miss Rosa Leclercq (to Chief Policeman). See, I kneel to you; do not, O do not take him; spare, &c. &c. [Awkward situation of Chief Policeman. Bryan O'Farrell (MR. FALCONER), Bedad, boys, we'll[Flourishes shillelagh. Police level muskets. Patrick. No bloodshed. I'll go. [Is going. Enter, on the hill above, the REV. SOGGARTH AROON in apparently a very long chemise de nuit, which from the poverty of his parish does duty by day as a surplice-what we may term a surprise surplice," one that was never yet seen in any Catholic Church. Over his shoulders he wears a blue stole, blue being a colour never used for this purpose. He says nothing, and not having his hat on (we really wonder he hadn't), he can't take it off for a sentiment, so restricts himself to keeping quiet, and blessing everybody generally, including the Police and the Scotch Villain in the

obtrusive trousers; his behaviour being, in fact, just what one would expect from a SOGGARTH AROON.

ACT II.

SCENE 1.-Foolish Old MORIARTY'S House. Interior. MORIARTY'S Ornaments are worth studying, consisting of the portrait of a prize bull, a new fishing can, some bright birds he's shot and stuffed, and plans for roads, new cannons, and patent bedsteads. (At least such is the appearance from the Stalls.) Rev. Soggarth Aroon (to MR. MORIARTY). Well, my dear friend, &c. [It doesn't matter, as the plot's going on without him. Miss Rose Leclercq. Give me your blessing. [Second time. The Rev. Soggarth Aroon (evasively, as before). May Heaven, &c. In this Act the REV. SOGGARTH AROON'S whiskers have been considerably cut down; evidently becoming a trifle more ultramontane and ecclesiastical.

N.B.-Capital acting in this Scene by MISS ROSE LECLERCQ during the Vision. For further particulars, vide the piece itself. Bryan (to MR. MORIARTY). Sure, Sorr, aren't it ourselves that 'll [They go off haymaking. go and make your Honour's hay? SCENE 2.-Lovely summer day in the Mountains, and haymaking supposed to be going on in the Vale.

Enter the Scotch Villain, and enter MR. LOFTUS OF LOFTUS in HUNTING-SUIT COMPLETE,

Pink, breeches and boots, and hunting crop, but making a certain concession to the time of year by not wearing spurs. He may be expected to appear with skates by the time they get the hay in. Perhaps he likes hunting at this time of year because he has it all to himself. The Plot goes on.

SCENE 3.-A capital Scene of Haymaking. Inspiriting Dance. Sports interrupted by the Dancing Clerk and Police, accompanied by MR. LOFTUS, still in full hunting costume. Very late foxes, perhaps, in his part of the country-up to the middle of June, for instance. As no one, not even BRYAN (MR. FALCONER) appears surprised to see him in this dress, it can't be an unusual thing. Or, perhaps, he's had a very long run, which began in November, and has only just finished now. If the piece runs as long as MR. LOFTUS's fox, the management will be gratified. So the plot goes on, and we have only time to notice Remarkable Events. That, in Act III., the Scotch Middleman has a new pair of trousers. That PATRICK, the outlaw, returns, and, to escape observation, wears a peculiar beard, a long, warm Ulster coat (it being June, and just the weather for that sort of dress), and a grey wideawake with a broad brim. That (in fact) he doesn't escape observation. That the Middleman proposes a villanous scheme, to be carried out somehow by means of hot water from a kettle and "adhesive gum."

That the villains chloroform PATRICK, and put him down the old mill sluice. That the Middleman becomes a shot-in-the-middle

man.

That in the last Act, where all ends happily, the REV. SOGGARTH AROON has a new hat of another pattern, having worn out the other by constantly taking it off to do honour to religious toasts and sentiments, and that MR. LOFTUS is not in full hunting costume. And- -that's all. The Final Tableau being, of course, the blessing of the happy pair by the REV. SOGGARTH AROON'S NEW HAT.

Those who Vote against the Adjournment of the Trial. THE PROPRIETORS OF ALL THE DAILY JOURNALS demand that the TICHBORNE case should be proceeded with, and that no interval of any sort, or for any reason, be permitted. Reasons for this wish, evident.

Same wish expressed by the Editors and Sub-Editors. After the dissolution of Parliament and during Vacation, if the trial is going on, the amount of their work will be considerably lightened. Prospect of a good holiday, too.

CLUB LOUNGERS AND SOCIETY GENERALLY. Because there'll be nothing in the papers: and no topic of conversation except the weather again.

THE PURVEYORS OF THE LUNCH, at one o'clock for the Judge, Counsel, and Jury.

THE USHERS OF THE COURT, the Police, and any sub-official who can assist somebody to a seat, or place of any kind, in Court. Reason

evident.

THE LEGAL WIG-MAKERS, foreseeing extra wear and tear. THE GROUSE.

CASE.

THE JURY, not on their own account, of course, but because it really is so hard on the Judge and the Counsel.

THE JUDGE. Because it really is so trying for the Counsel and Jury, and because, also, he wants to get away farther than Brighton this year.

THE COUNSEL. Simply on account of the Judge and the Jury; for, for ever without even a headache; and as to the others, they can as for themselves, of course SERJEANT BALLANTINE could go on each come attended by his Medical Advisers, who will sit behind him, and tell him when to leave off.

HOTEL AND LODGING-HOUSE KEEPERS at the sea-side.

THE OLD CHARWOMEN who clean up the Court when the Vacation

commences.