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128 Of Street-Walkers and Bawdy-Houses. March 705. for every brief for the whole diocese ; other persons of diftinétion, would watch for as there are 27 dioceses, and the visita against the farming of briefs, for that they tions for those dioceses, tho' held at different are farmed has formerly been a prevailing places, are in many of them not more notion and is not yet worn out, tho' á than three or four, and in the moft ex. law has passed againft ro iniquitous a practensive and largest bur fix, he would, as tice; then all arguments for denying conthere are for the most part fix several briefs, tributions would be cut off from people receive 108. per diem or more for his A of proper ability, nay, they would give trouble.

the reins to that compassionate temper, The charge for a brief would then stand which is now tightly held in by the before thus, according to the account in 1740. mentioned either real or seeming grievances

1. s, d. and reasons of complaint. Lord chancellor's fiat and figning 38 10 o The patent

To tbe AUTHOR of the LONDON The printing


50 The itamping :

SIR, 13 10 o


piece, intitled, An Inquiry into obe causes

of ibe late increase of robbers, &c. and conIN 13 2 fidering what I had wrote upon the subject,

which you was pleased to insert in your According to letter-writer's account thus, Magazine for October laft, I did expect To 9871 copies at id. I cach s! 8 2

that the author, in order to make up a To 27 dioceses at 108. each

round dozen, would have mentioned Itreet

c walkers and publick bawdy-houses, as one 64 18 2 of the causes of the evil now complained of ;

for that it is a caule, and a chief cause too, I foresee an objection to what I have no man can dispute, who has ever thought here offered : What remedy is there against seriously upon the subje&t, especially after the collectors embezzling the money thus reading what I had wrote, and you had collected ? Surely, bond to the trustees published so long before the appearance of with proper sureties and sufficient penalıy,

ihis Inquiry. as is the practice in the publick revenue, However, upon perufal, I found this caule may be taken ; this will not cost more D not fo much as once mentioned, or indeed than half a crown for each collector, which hinted at in any part of this performance. will swell my account only 31. 75. 60, for I conless, I was at a loss how to account all the dioceles : the copies may be sent for soch a negle&, and even now can down to the collector by the common con suggest but two reasons for it ; one of veyance of Itage waggons, and sent back which is, that the author being, as I am again, when collected, the same way, and informed, not only a trading justice but a the money remitted by bills to the trustees : trading author, he has not lately perhaps Allowing for all this half a crown more E had time to read any thing but what he for each diocele; then the half crown al writes himself. By laying, that he is a lowed before, ics. to the collector, make trading justice as well as a trading author, in all ugs. for each diocese or 201. 58. for I hope no one will imagine, that I mean 27 dioceses, or the whole kingdom, a any reflection: I mean only, that he has very contiderable saving to the petitioners. some sort of pecuniary reward for what

What I have to add more is this ; that he does in both these capacities ; and this I do not know whether the loss in any every gentleman is not only intitled to, brief has ever been made goed by the con. but ought to aim at, who is not fo lucky as tributions ; this I am certain of, no pub- F to have an independent fortune of his own. lick account is ever given of this matter. The other cause that may be assigned A great loss is gene ally ordered to be col for this neglect is founded upon what is Jeded for from house to house ; where it often afferred by malevolent people, but has not exceeded 4000l. I have known 2cs. I hope without any truth : They say, thac collected in a small village ; that it would not only many of our constables, but be a satisfaction to the publick, if the clear many of our justices of the peace, derive contribu'ions, all charges deducted, were great advantages from our ítreet-walkers taken notice of in some Gazette : That G and publick bawdy - houses, by Jaying them if the trustees would take care to pay all under annual or casual contributions : Nay, the overplus, if there should be any, into they add, that a justice may sometimes chancery, a Rock might be raised iowards have ten or twenty guineas a year from a the loss of other sufferers ; that if they, noted bawdy-house in his neighbourhood, as fcme of them are bishops and peers and for his protection and favour, wiwr.ut de

as a jullice of the peace. The only pub. Gminal; but as to cvery one of them the 1751" The Rich answerable for ibè Vices of the Poor. 129 firing him to do any thing but what he the fine-cure places, which are by that may answer for at the quarter leflions; and means now alone to be acquired. that the constables, who are too often such How this indolence or selfishness in our as serve for hire, are not only in fee with rich people is to be corrected, I do not foch houses, but often make a good jobb know : Whatever a second Alfred, with of their watch night, by those ladies who despotick power, might do, i am afraid, walk the streets within their beat.

that nothing besides will do, but some tera These are the suggestions, which one A rible publick misfortune ; and therefore I finds pretty general among the people, and am convinced, that what I have assigned as in my youthful days I have often met with one of the chief causes of the increase of what seemed to be a confirmation of such street and highway robberies can no way reports ; for the mothers, in their cups, be removed, but by erecting fuch hospitals would sometimes give broad hints, and as I have propo'ed. Indeed, as cuslom has even very plainly intinuate, that they had rendered it impoffible for unfortunate woan understanding with such a justice, or men ro sublist without cffence, I think ic such a constable in their neighbourhood; would be cruel to infat levere punishments and as it was a frequent custom with the B upon them, unless you firt con rive and rakes of my club, to pay a visit to the establish some method for removing that next roundhouse, and treat the constable impossibility. The same complaint les and watchmen with wine and strong beer,

with respect to our law's against vag bonds; at two or three o'clock in the morning, for when the poor cannot find employment we often at that time found it full of wick in their own parish or county, they must ed women ; but when our curiosity led us

wander into another in search of it, and if to return there about seven, we generally they do not there presently meet with it. found most of them gone, and none left


they must beg for subfiflence ; on which but a few of the most wretched, some of they are taken up and punished as idle va. whom very boldly affirmed, they were gabonds, whereas no person ought to be detained, and must suffer, because they

deemed ro, but such as refuse to work for had not half a crown, or a crown, to pay

their subsistence when it is offered. for their ransom.

I therefore hope that, as the methods for Whether there wis any real ground for preventing robberies and other felonies are these suggestions, I Mall not take upon me now under the consideration of the legislato determine ; but from the nature of ture, they will not only think of punishing things they seem but too probable ; for in D such as may hereafter happen, but of rea country where the rich are too indolent, moving, as much as possible, every caule or have too little publick spirit to take upon

of their increase ; and if they do, they them the execution of the laws, it must will certainly provide fome method for the be trufted to the poor who serve for hire ; employment and subfiftence of those unfor. and it is very natural for them to take tunate women, who may be called the des money for not executing the laws when plorable outcasts of the human race, and they find they cannot get near lo much by who would gladly labour for their daily putting them in due execution so that E and abandoned state, which accident, or the

bread, rather than continue in that forlorn the poetical character of Justice-Hall at the Old Bailey extends itself to every inferior treachery of men, has drove them into degree of magistracy, and may be altered for tho' his worthip has not mentioned thus :

common prostitutes and publick itews as a Where poor offenders must submit to

cause of the evil row complained of, no fate,


man can doubt of its being one, who has That rich ones may enjoy the world in

read my last upon this subject ; and not.

withstanding the excessive delicacy he news, For this reason I cannot without indig. F with respect to the luxuries of the great, I nation hear a rich tradesman, or a rich hope, he will not infin, that this is a luscountry squire, complaining of the non ury in which they ought to be indulged, execution of our laws, when, to my know This brings me to consider the favourable Jedge, the former never served in person sentiments he has exprefiel, with respect the office of constable, nor did the other to Vauxhall and Ranelagh Farrens, mara ever attend a quarter sessions, or endeavour querades, and polite gaming afTumblies. to qualify himself for serving his country I mall admit, that in none of thcle there

is any thing that can in itself be called crilick rervice which the rich now fcem fond of, is the service in parliament ; and even consequences are fatal, in a poliocalas well this, I fear, would be very little sought after as moral sense, The tradesman who ruirs by the rich, if it were not for the extra. himseli by frequenting them, ruins only vagant salaries and perquisites attending his own family ; but the nobleman, or March, 175!


Feb. 245

130 MISCHIEFS of our publick Diversions. March member of parliament, who by such means coming up to her price ; for a lottery tick. reduces himself to diftrels, ruins his coun et may corrupt a frail woman, who would try ; and therefore, there is no govern. reject double the value in ready money ment we should dread so much, as a go. with disdaio. vernment that encourages such expensive A just and wise government will always divcrfiuns.

be careful to preserve, as much as possible, But bas this gentleman forgot the well the virtue of the female sex; for in a coun known adage ?

A try where there is no virtue among the woRegis ad exemplum tolus componitur orbis. men, it will generally be found, that there

is very little true honour among the men ; Does he think, that there is any pleasure, and as it is impossible to confine the enjoy. or any vice, in which the great are allow ment of publick expensive diversions to ed to indulge themselves, that can effectu. those only who can spare the expence, they ally by law be denied to the little ? We ought to be restrained, if not prohibited ; know the contrary: Fathion has in all ages, becaule they lead others into neceffity, and in all countries, triumphed over law, which is the most formidable enemy to the I could mention several vices, some of B virtue of the female, and the honour of the them too abominable to be mentioned, male part of the human (pecies. I am, that have been prohibited by the laws of

SIR, all societies, and the precepts of all religi.

Your constant reader, ons, and yet they have been, and are now,

and humble servant, avowedly practised in many countries.



AKE, Therefore, to prevent by law the enjoyment of any pleasure, or the indulgence of


my left, p. 435. col. 1. 1. 6. from the any vice, amongst those of inferior rank, C boscom, fór efficent, r. efficient and po whilft it is made fashionable by the practice

436. col. 1. 1. 6. from tbe bortom, for lewd, of the great amongst us, I Mall always

ro Wicked. look on as a chimerical project ; and for this reason I have always looked on it as a The ARGUMENT of obe Scoond Book of the glaring inconlillency in our laws against SCRIBLERIAD, (a Mock- Heroick Poem, gaming, to except the palaces of our lovc. designed gravely to ridicule false Taste and reign.

falle Science, or ibe useless Researches of The expence of there publick diversions,


ibe' false Viriuofi. (See p. 30, 40.)

THE persons of very opu. Jeni tortunes, but their refort to such places lart, to the most fruitful spot in the world, renders it taihionable, and this will induce the antient Arlinoe, now Faiume. Here multitudes to go thitler who cannot spare Scriblerus meets a company of pilgrims, the expence.

We know the curiosity of formerly his father's friends, who dchire the female sex in particular, and the vio. him to relate his whole adventures to them. lence of their pallion for what is called in He begins his narration. Gives an account nocent pleasure. When templations are E of his waiting three years in vain at Naples thus publickly thrown in their way, if their to see the eruption of Vesuvius. Proposes fathers or husbands cannot or will not in.

going to Jamaica in hopes of seeing an dulge them, such of them as are handsome

carthquake. Sails with his friends, is will find those that can, and by indulging driven by contrary winds below the Cape their innocent pleasures, they are often be.

of Good-hope. Arrives at a mort de. trayed into thole that are criminal.

lightful country, which is described : But From rearon therefore, as well as from

luddeniy fies from it, moved by a fatal Experience, I must conclude, that the mul. F misinterpretation of an oracle. Scriblerus, titude and variety of our publick diversions

continuing his narration, describes a won. have corrupted and debauched many an line dertul coast, the surprising appearance of neft man's wile or daughter, who would which Atrikes a damp on his companions. otherwise have preserved her virtue ; con Deidemon and Thaumartes are chosen by fequently in a double respect I must confi.

lot to reconnoitre the country. At their der there innocent diversions not only as a return, they give a very imperfect account moral, but as a political evil. And for the

of their adventures, being stupified by lame icaron I muit condemn all lotteries,

exceflive fear. Scriblerus (ets out alone on publick or private, tho' in therrselves inno. G

a farther discovery. cont; because they propagate a spirit of gaming among the people, and are of úg W bat orcafioned Scriblerus's Flight from obe nal service to those leachers, who having no deligbyful Country, was obe sudden Apqualities of body or mind, to gain a wo. fearance of several aimed Bands, wbico man's affections, think of nothing but Jeemed to createn W'ar ibe forf were

1751. Extracts from the SCRIBLËRIAD, &c. 131

comp: fed of Acrosticks, pbine came ibe impatience had impelled her to give here
Chronograms and Anagrams, &c. Ibe self a delperate wound, upon which Saturo
riff are described as follows,

cuts her atai hair, and me dies.
To join these squadrons, o'er the cham.
paign came

The Temple about mentioned is described as
A numerous race of noignoble name ;

follows. The mighty Crambo leads the intrepid van : Soon I descry'd where near a cypre's The rest a forward, loud, industrious clan. A wood, Riddle, and Rebus, Riddle's dearest ron; A dome, upheld by ftatcly columns, Nood: And false Conundrum, and insidious Pun ; Where brass and variegated marbles join Fustian, who scarcely deigns to tread the Their mingled beams, to grace the splendid ground ;


[cold ; And Rondeau, wheeling in repeated round, Here glite'ring ores their native charms unHere the Rhophalics • in a wedge are There yellow mundick thines like burnish'd drawn,

lawn. gold, There the proud Macaronians + scour the B Sulphurs and marcasites their heams display, Here fugitive and vagrant o'er the green, And lucid crystals rival Titan's ray. The wanton Lipogrammarilt is seen. Rang'd as a cornice, various foflis stand, There Quibble and Antithetis appear, The mimick sport of nature's wanton hand. With Doggrel-rhymes and Echoes in the Mitre and turban-sormis the work ad, rn, rear.

Triton's huge trump, and Ammon's boast.

ed horn. * Rbopbalic ver ses begin wieb a monosylla

(ing vein, ble, and continue in words graving gradually

Here fibrous plants with many a branch. longer to tbe last, wbieb must be ive longest of Pue how, o ! how thall fancy's pow'r

And there the curious texture of the brain. all.

recal Rem regem regimen regionem religionem.


The forms that breath's alongihe paturid + The Micaronian is a kind of burlesque Where in Mofaic wrought, the thells surpass poetry, confifting of a jumble of words of

The pencil'd canvas, or the sculptur'd brals. different lasguages, with words of obe vulgar Dearest to nature first are feen a race tongue latinized, and Latin words modernized.

Who bear the marks of her peculiar grace. This verse bas employed ibe pens of many Here griffons, harpies, dragons mix in Freneb and Italian writers

: We bave seen D Aight, three or four long poems of Ibis kind by our own Here wild chimera rears her tripp'e height. countrymen.

In glowing colours mighty Geryon stands, Et dabo fee simple, fi mooftras love's And bold Eriareus wields his hundred hands.

pretry dimple, Gownos, filkcotos, kirtellos, & pericotos, LD England, of March 9, concerning Luskos & raccos, ttomacheros, cimbrica (mockos.

Ignoramus, with a word in favour of the ladies, as

fuligw3.- This change of the tile will cause Tbe ARGUMENT of the Tbird Book.

E an anticipation of their usual reckoning, Pricitels of Rumour relates to Scrib. and precipitate them sı days sooner than

lerus the history of the queen of the they expected, into the ftate that is molt country. He is Nruck with the beauties dreadful to a fair lady, virgin, wife, or of an elegant temple, which he describes, widow ; I mean the fate of old age. as also the queen's magnificent entry and But as there must he ji days left out of her personal endowments. He makes the year, in which we are to make our ef. himself known to her. She prosesses her fort to come up with time ; and there it regard for his family and for his own merits, f days muit of consequence he, thic year, to which she is no ftranger : After which totally expunged from the calendar ; about the invites him to a partnership of her bed one 3d part of the British ladies will have and throne. Scriblerus consults with Al. no birth day in this year of contraction, bertus, and is advifed by him to accede to and therefore may fairly squetze the 23 her proposal of marriage : Saturn endea. months and 2 ebirds, which will intervene vours to deter him from it by fearlul dreams betwixt their preceding and subsequent aod omeng: Notwithftanding which, the birth-days, into a single year. And, as it marriage is celebrated, but the consum. is not yet certainly and generally known, mation prevented by the flight of two owls, G in what part of the year it fe diys will which, added to the foregoing portents, be'omitled, every lady in the kingdom has intimidate the hero to that degree, that a right, at present, to flater herseli with he resolves to Ay from liis beloved queen. the hopes of Heing u months and 20 days Her reproaches and entreaties prevailed on yrurger, rather than 11 days older, by this. him to return, but not till her unhappy reformation in our calendar,

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