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1751. The Remembrancer's Farewel to the Publick,

duce his fellow-fubjects, as far as in him lay, to affert their own rights and claims, against the encroachments of corruption : And to affift in the rescue of the conftitution, for the fake of re-establishing their own felicity.

Thus, he had not only the most meritorious purpose in view, but such a fanc- A tion alfo for his endeavours, as both fet a luftre on them, and, in fome fort, gave them an additional weight and value; For what under fuch a banner was contended for, in an adverfe way, it was reasonable to conclude, muft in time have flowed freely, as an effect of confistency and grace; or, at worst, could not, with any B grace or confistency, have been refused.

A continuance of the fame evils, would have rendered a continuance of the fame oppofition more justifiable than ever: For right and wrong do not depend on the caprice of princes: And he that has once given his warrant to any practice for his own convenience, will find but little countenance in complaining of it afterwards.

271

his friends, in private as well as in publick, in matters of truft and confidence, as well as thofe relating to the province more immediately affigned him, with all the zeal and ability he was master of, he thinks it will not mifbecome him to avow frankly and openly, that his conduct in the present inftance is owing to the feeblenefs and irrefolution of the times: And that what ever is amifs in it (if any thing is fo) ought to be imputed to that national infatuation, which converts all we fay, and all we do, into foolishness.

It is notorious, that tho' his poft was in the forlorn, and he was already expofed to all the perfecution that refentment, armed with power, could let loofe against him, he not only ftood his ground, but even advanced against the enemy with as much firmness, as if an army of regulars had been at hand to fupport and cover him.

And it is true, that hearing, on all fides, nothing but profeffions of forrow for the fhock which the country had C fuftained, and of zeal to adopt and profecute any measures, which had the leaft appearance of operating to the comfort and relief of the commonwealth, he did expect fuch countenance from his fellowfubjects, as would have been a warrant for the rashness he had shewn, in proceeding merely as a volunteer in their fervice.

D

Befides, he does not scruple to acknow. ledge, that he was under the dominion of prejudice, as well as the impulfe of principle. As yet he laboured under a strong perfuafion, that we had fuch a thing as a conftitution remaining; that there were amongst us numbers of honeft, well-meaning perfons, who were not more fenfible. of the confumptive habit gradually broughtupon it, than zealous to concur in the application of any regimen, confiftent with found practice, for its relief and prefervation: That these, having a common intereft to pursue, were ready to conftitute a common cause, and to take all prudent measures for the fupport of it: And that a concurrence of fo many favourable circum- E ftances would not fail in time to re-kindle fuch a fpirit, re-establish such a confidence,' and produce fuch a re-union of minds and measures as might convert profeffions into performances, and hasten the rescue, which every hour was efteemed more and more neceffary.

F

Now this, Mr. Cadwallader humbly hopes, will be thought a fatisfactory anfwer to the firft question, namely, how a private perfon came to charge himself with an employment of this publick nature? And as to the fécond, how he comes to lay it afide? Tho' he might alledge, as an anfwer in full, that having loft his Commanding officer, his commiffion was from that moment at an end, and he remained G at perfect liberty to lay down his arms; yet, as he did not then avail himself of that fubterfuge to defert the fervice, so neither will he have recourfe to it now. No; having discharged all duties to God, his confcience, his country, his patron, and

But then the event has not warranted this expectation: For tho' individuals have diftinguished themselves on a late fignal occafion, they have acted but as individuals; they have skirmished only: And, according to his little judgment, there is nothing can render a minority, however able and difinterested, confiderable, but a thorough concert and unanimity.

On the other hand, admitting, which is a very hard matter to do, that there was no great matter of difcouragement in this circumftance, that time and experience would have convinced thefe individuals of the neceffity of connection, fubordination and difcipline; would have gradually removed all diffidence; and, at length, formed them into a perfect phalanx (to be out-numbered always, perhaps, as at prefent, yet to be difgraced or divided never) even a phalanx so constituted and directed, would have operated very little to the fervice of the commonwealth, without the concurrence of the people: And fuch appears, at prefent, their deadnefs and coldness to be, in every concern of that nature; that they feem to have loft not only their apprehenfions, but their feeling, not only their voice, but their understanding, not only every focial principle, but the use of that instinct, which, even in brutes, provides for felf-prefervation.

272

Extracts from the SCRIBLERIAD, &c.

A MATHEMATICAL QUESTION.

Na circle, whofe diameter is jo, a

I ruler, whofe length is 26, moves in

fuch manner, that one end of it is always found in the diameter (or the fame produced) and the other end in the circumference. In a revolution of the ruler, a A curve will be defcribed by its middle point, whose nature, area, length, center of gra vity, and greatest ordinate, are here required; and alfo the content of the folid generated by a rotation on its axis, together with the points of the curve described, when each end of the ruler moves with equal velocity: It is alfo required to find the aforefaid queftion, when the ruler is 10. June 16, 1751.

A

W. D

D.

B

ANOTHER.
Wire-drawer having a large piece of
iron, its bottom bafe is an oval, the
tranfverfe diameter being 26 inches, and
the conjugate diameter 9 inches; the up-
per bafe is a circle, whofe diameter is 15 C
inches, and height 7 feet: Now the wire-
drawer has a mind to have it drawn into
a wire a quarter of an inch diameter; how
long will it be when drawn out, when no-
thing is allowed for the wafte? W. B.

The Argument of the Fifth Book of the
SCRIBLERIAD. A Mock-beroick
Poem. (See p. 227.)
D
CRIBLERUS having confulted the

refult of his enquiry. That he must leave
them to go in fearch of the philofopher's
ftone, which is promifed him. That they.
muft return to England and found a fociety,
of which he is to be vifitor; and being

affured, by poffeffion of the ftone, of lon. E
gævity, if not immortality, he promifes
to vifit the fociety every century. After a
variety of hardships, which our heroe un-
dergoes in 12 months travel from Genoa,
where his friends leave him, he arrives at
a grove near Munster in Germany. In
this city, after feveral fruitless attempts to
tranfmute lead into gold, the alchymifts
agree to postpone the farther trial of their F
art to the next day, hoping it might be
more aufpicious, as being the first day of
April, the birth-day of that fuccessful al-
chymift Bafilius Valentinus. That night
Plutus appears to the heroe, and directs
him to the fatal root which is to procure
the tranfmutation of metals and prolonga-
tion of life. Infpired with gratitude and G
devotion, Scriblerus facrifices a goose and
thirty goflins, which engages him in a fharp
conflict with a revengeful maiden, whom
at length he vanquishes, and, with a mo-
deration fingular in a conqueror, leaves,
to pursue his journey to Munster.

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June

The Morafopb (by which is meant a Fool or Madman, for whom the Mabometans bawe a great Veneration, as believing fuch to be inspired, and who is characterized in the first Book, fee Mag. for Jan. laft, p. 41.) is thus defcribed by Scriblerus, as prepared to deliver bis Predictions concerning bim. Hear, bleft affociates of my various pains, What rich reward to crown our toil re

mains.

Laft night, fo Jove ordain'd, alone I found
The heav'n-taught prophet feated on the
ground.

An hallow'd rage already had poffeft
His raptur'd foul, and heav'd his (welling
breaft.

High on his head uprofe the briftling hair ;
His turgid eye-balls roll'd an hideous glare
With chatt'ring teeth, the working foam
he churn'd,
|fpurn'd ;
And thrice the folid earth, impatient,
Then, wildly starting, danc'd with frantic
bounds,

Whirling his rapid head in giddy rounds :
He wav'd th' Edonian Thyrus in his hand,
And look'd a priest of Bacchus' furious

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of Fauftus the alchymift, who invites him to his house. Fauftus explains to him the caufe of their festival, and relates the hiftory of Bafilius Valentinus. The alchymifts are again baffled in their attempt to tranfmute the lead. Scriblerus defires to make a trial; is refufed on account of his mean appearance, but difcovering his name and family, is admitted with honour to the furnace. He foon obtains a colour, which fuccefs is received with univerial applaufe., eft refpects, and eagerly embrace the pro They contend who fhall pay him the greatpofal of Boffius to beatify him. The heroe, by a præfentiment, is aware of the accidents that may happen at this impor. tant crifis, and advises to poftpone the honours defigned him till the great work be fully accomplished, left vanity, which al ready begins to poffefs his mind, should ftop the progrefs of it, and perhaps entirely difappoint their expectations. His. fpeech is interrupted by their enthusiastick zeal, and they immediately proceed to beatification. And now the poet having conducted Scriblerus thro' a feries of adventures, with fuccefs beyond the expectation of a mortal, concludes his poem with the apotheofis of his heroe.

This, with the apparatus, is deferibed at follows.

Then Boffius fpake Sure heav'n my

foul infpires,

And prompts me to excite th’electric fires.

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1751. The indifcreet WIFE humorously reproved.

Raife then, my friends, the well-conftruct

ed ftage,

There, plac'd on high, beatify the fage,
Strip'd of these rags unfeemly to the fight,
And cloath'd with radiance and celeftial
[caught,

light.

He faid. His words the pleas'd affembly
Who foon, obedient to his dictates, brought A
Of pitch and rofin an enormous mafs,
Six ample globes, and fix vaft tubes of
glass.
[made;
From thefe th'adepts a myftick structure
And in the midit the great Scriblerus laid
In naked majesty, tremendous fight!
Then hafte to execute the folemn rite.
And now the glafs by strong attrition
urg'd,
[purg'd. B

Firft the foul atmosphere around him
Then at the heroe's feet began to play
A flame more brilliant than the folar ray.
The golden beams afcending now embrac'd
Th' illuftrious fage, and circled round his
wift.

Now fixt, and by encreas'd effluvia fed,
Diffus'd a glory from his awful head.
Thus as he darts around electric fire,
To vocal hymns they tune the founding lyre;
His high atchievements in their fongs relate,
And hail him monarch of th' Hermetic ftate.
From a new Paper, called The London
Daily Advertiser, and Literary Gazette,
June 14.

To the INSPECTOR.
SIR,

AM an honest pains taking tradesman,

I and what the world calls a goodnatured

C

273

count. I think I ought not to conceal from your inspectorship, that it has been given out, that the German left her in pawn for her lodgings, and that he was not a count but a caft-off valet de chambre; but the latter part of the story was never fufficiently proved, and was certainly an invention of Crab's to revenge himself of me, who had fupplanted him in his amour.

When I brought my wife home, I began to confider, that as I was in the way to have a growing family, I should apply myfelf with double diligence to my trade; I therefore begged of her to manage the bu finefs of the houfe, while I should confider nothing but the fuccefs of my budiness; to this the coldly replied, that the hoped I

knew the difference betwixt a tradesman and a woman of quality. Well, Sir, 1 acquiefced, confidering the had a little noble blood in her veins, and therefore took upon myself the double occupation of attending the shop, and doing the neceffary offices of the family.

It happened, as fhe was fitting one afternoon in a certain part of the house that fhe calls the withdrawing-room, a coach and fix drove by the door, attended by half a dozen footmen on horfeback, and with four ladies in it, one of whom had a dog upon her lap. This immediately fuck her, and the firft words the accosted me with were, Mr. Minnikin, I must have a dog. DA dog, my dear, faid 1, lord blefs me, what will you do with a dog? our house is too fmall to be incumbered with useless creatures; confider a little. I run on a good while in this manner, which the fuffered me to do without any interruption; but at laft fhe gave me to underfland, that the was a woman of fashion and must be com

E

man. By a diligent attendance upon my bufinefs, I fcraped together a fortune of fome hundred pounds, when I began to think, a wife was the only thing I wanted, and accordingly I paid my addreffes to Mifs Sufanna Dimple, a black/mith's daughter; when, to my unfpeakable fatisfaction, the match was begun, concluded, and folemnized in less than a fortnight. As she had nothing but her accomplishments to beftow upon me, the lawyer, you know, had no bufinefs, and the parties met with lefs ceremony than the fubfcribers to parch- F ment generally do; I then hoped, however, with more affection; but I fear I am much disappointed in that article.

plied with, not failing to drop fome hints, that had the preferred Crab to me, he would never have denied fo reasonable a request.

I love peace and quietnefs, and confidering there might be some secret connection betwixt a cur and a person of quality, that I was not aware of, I agreed to her follicitation, which I thought would be the more cruel to deny, as the expected in about two months to make me a father. Dogs of various colours and fizes were purchased, till I could get one to please her, infomuch that, befides the expence, I became the jeft of my neighbours, who were always afking me, whether I had compleated my pack.

One reason that led me on to this match, was, to disappoint Tom Crab the Chandler, who was always praifing the beauty of Mifs Dimple, at our club at the Goat alehouse ; and another, much more prevalent with G me, was, that he was in fome degree a branch of quality; for a relation of her fecond coulin was married to a German June, 1751, * This paper made its firft appearance about three months ago, and feems to gain ground, be ing writ with great accuracy and Spirit.

At length my wife was brought to bed of a daughter, and a fweet infant it was : I could not help beholding the child with an air of triumph, and looking on myself, M m (tho

274 A Description and Vindication of Mount's-Bay. June

(tho' but an humble pinmaker) as a kind of
perpetuater of quality. My wife took me by
the hand a few days before the christening,
and, in a kind tone of voice, afked, what
name I thought the intended to bestow up-
on the infant? Mary, or Elizabeth, per-
haps, quoth I. To which the answered,
with a fcornful fmile, that, as a pinmaker, A
The was not furprized I should think of fuch
common names; but, as a woman of a
higher fphere, who never acted upon vulgar
principles, fhe was determined to call her
Daraxa. As my wife is very well read, I
could alledge no reason, but what the could
efily have refuted, and therefore I fubmit-
ted; and the parfon, to his great aftonith-
ment, had the honour of baptizing the B
fuit Daraxa perhaps that ever existed.

We lived together fome time after this without any thing particular happening, except her obliging me to turn away one of my best workmen, whofe unamiable features, and rough appearance, made her always distinguish him by the name of Orfon.

fandra, will not drop a tear, when the knows he is driving her husband into a prifon?

Good Sir, convince this unreasonable woman, that a wife ought never to think herself wifer than her husband; and that a grain of difcretion is worth all the memoirs and adventures that were ever written. In this you will not only oblige me, but many good-natured men, in as uncomfortable a fituation. Your humble fervant,

SAMUEL MINNIKIN.

P. S. Little Daraxa has already learned a love fpeech out of Amadis de Gaul.

To the AUTHOR of the LONDON
MAGAZINE.

Nullus in orbe finus prælucet.

SIR,

Y

Hor.

OU published in your Magazine for December, 1749, (p. 566.) a defcripCtion of Penzance in Mount's-Bay. Be pleafed likewife to infert in your next a vindication of the Bay itfelf, which has been grofly misreprefented. The ill-grounded rumours, which are fpread abroad concerning it, fhould be answered, and put to filence. It is, undoubtedly, a reproach as well as a difadvantage to mariners, and may be attended with unhappy confequences, by caufing them to decline coming into the bay in diftrefs, to continue in fuch errors; and therefore an attempt to remove them cannot, I prefume, be juftly deemed impertinent, or unworthy of a candid reception. This is the first pen that ever was drawn in its defence, and if it fhould happen to be of any service, my end is answered.

D

A plaguy advertisement came out foon after this, that lady Riot had loft her parrot, for which a reward of two guineas was offered to him who fhould be fo lucky as to find it: This gave my rib a new whim, and I was commanded, at all adventures, to purchase a parrot. I debated the matter for fome time, and would fain have compounded it for a jay, or a magpye; but as I am not bleffed with the taTent of perfuafion, and am of a moit peaceable difpofition, I agreed to her terms, and poll was, in a day or two, feen at the window, in a flaunting cage, to the great joy of the boys and girls in the neighbourhood, who were fo communicative in their instructions, that my house foon became as E ncify as a cock pit.

To tell you all the hardships I labour under, from my wife's treatment, would re. quire a volume. She ruins me in prints of great folks, lives, and memoirs, &c. of people of condition. Hints are frequently thrown out, that the intends to have a drum at her house, to which indeed I believe the is induced by a pert baggage, one Mrs. Tawdry, a baronet's lady's waiting-woman; and a cruel wag of my acquaintance has informed her, that I have had an offer of being knighted, which the reproached me in the most outrageous terms for not accepting of.

Is it not hard now, Mr. Inspector, upon the whole, that a woman, who has travel. G

led thro' all the countries of romance, does not know the way to her kitchen, or on what fpot of the globe Honey-lane market is fituated; and while the can weep at the imagined difirefs of an Argalus, or a Cal

Mount's-Bay is fo called from St. Michael's Mount, which lies in it, and is, perhaps, one of the greatcft curiofities in the habitable world. It is an inlet from the Atlantick ocean, and forms a moft delightful bafon of water, furrounded for the moft part with green fields, which add confiderably to its beauty. Travellers may have an advantageous and beautiful profpect of it from the Chapel-yard at Penzance, which is defervedly admired for its fine fituation. It is one of the most convenient inlets and outlets in Britain for carrying on foreign trade, and it is only to be wished, that this natural advantage was properly made ufe of. It is, indeed, a deep bay, but there is a very good road, and safe anchorage: The worst wind for it is S. S. E. Ships rode fecurely here laft winter in that dreadful weather, which occafioned fo many wrecks. This feems to be a strong argument in its favour. Be

1751.

A CAUTION against vain FEAR.

fides, fome worthy gentlemen of his ma-
jefty's Navy, during the late war, particu-
larly the brave and experienced capt. Beard,
who frequently wintered here, were fen-
fible that it deferved a better character than
it had, and generously did it justice. Their
authority, probably, will have weight with
the feafaring part of mankind, and there- A
fore the more publick their fentiments are
made, the better. The afperfions, which
are thrown on it by the fantastical inhabi
tants of F, are owing to mercenary
views, and fhould be treated with con-
tempt. The bay at prefent thrives in fpite
of its adverfaries, and will, I hope, in
time, get the better of all unjust preju-
dices. There is a chart of it lately pub- B
lished, the defign of which ought to be to
give the world a juft and adequate idea of
it, whereas the publishers have been guilty
of a flagrant piece of injuftice. They
have inferted in the body of the chart, the
following obfervation, thus elegantly ex-
preffed: In Penzance pier there is at fpring-
tide 13 feet water, and at a neap-tide 9 C
feet: At the Mount pier there is rather
more. This is a falfhood, for Penzance
pier not only the fafeft port, but his the
deepest water of any in the bay. I appeal
to all honeft and candid men, if this be
not bafe and fcandalous ufage of the gen-
tlemen of Penzance, who were encou-
ragers of the undertaking. They difho-
noured their work with this untruth, to D
pay a fycophantick compliment to a little
Imuggling town, not worth mentioning,
remarkable for burlefquing magiftracy. A
conduct fo mean and infamous will fuffi.
cently expofe itfelf, and I fhall therefore
fay no more of it. I will close this vindi-
cation of the bay with fome feasonable
advice to the inhabitants of it. The pro- E
duce of fish, tin, and copper in the neigh-
bourhood, is very confiderable, and if ef.
fectual methods were taken for preventing
fmuggling, it would be as rich and flou-
rishing a pot of ground as it is pleasant
and agreeable. An Anti-Gallican affocia-
tion was talked of about 4 or 5 years ago.
It was never more wanted than at this

From the Rambler, June 1.

SIR,

S

275

INCE fortitude is one of thofe virtues which the condition of our nature makes hourly neceffary, I think you cannot better direct your admonitions than against fuperfluous and panick terrors. Fear is indeed implanted in us as a prefervative from evil, but its duty, like that of other paffions, is not to overbear reason, but to affift it; nor fhould it be fuffered to tyrannize in the imagination, to blind the difcernment, or obftruct purfuit, to raise phantoms of horror, or befet life with fancied diftreffes.

F

To be always afraid of lofing life, is, indeed, fcarcely to enjoy a life that can deferve the care of prefervation. He that once indulges idle fears will never be at reft; our prefent ftate admits only of a kind of negative fecurity; we must conclude ourfelves fafe when we fee no danger, or none inadequate to our powers of oppofition. Death, indeed, continually hovers about us, but hovers commonly unfeen, unless wa fharpen our fight by ufelefs curiofity.

There is always a point at which caution, however folicitous, muft limit its prefervatives, because one terror often counteracts another. I once knew one of the fpeculatifts of cowardife, whose predominant difturbance was the dread of houfebreakers; his inquiries were for nine years employed upon the best method of barring a window, and many an hour has he spent in establishing the preference of a bolt to a lock. He had at last, by the daily fuperaddition of new expedients, contrived a door which could never be forced; for one bar was fecured by another with fuch intricacy of fubordination, that he was himself not always able to difengage them in the proper method. He was happy in this fortifieation, till being asked how he would escape if he was threatened by fire, he difcovered, that with all his care, and all his expence, he had only been clofing the fang of destruction. He then immediately tore off his bolts, and now leaves at night his outer door half locked, that he may not by his own folly perish in the flames.

time, and if carried into execution, would
be a noble inftance of publick-fpirit in this
trifling, mercenary age, a lafting honour
to this remote part of the kingdom, and
might shame, if it was poffible, the brain-
Jefs herd of fashion's fools, who are fo
fcandalously indifferent with regard to their
country's intereft and glory, and at the
fame time fo ridiculously fond of the wines, G
ragouts, manufactures, drefs, fopperies,
&c. &c. &c. of our great rivals in trade,
the French. I am,

SIR,

Your humble fervant,

There is one fpecies of terror, which those who are unwilling to fuffer the reproach of cowardife have wifely dignified with the name of Antipathy. A man who talks with intrepidity of the monsters of the wilderness while they are out of fight, will readily confefs his antipathy to a mole, a weafel, or a frog. But when fear is difcovered to be groundless, it is to be eradicated like other falfe opinions, and antipathies are generally fuperable by a fingle effort. Mm 3 ARABEL.

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