sical instrument about him, to play to us from morning to night; all which time we employed in dancing, in order to dissipate our chagrin, & tuer le temps."

Here Sir John gives very good philosophical reasons, why the kit could not be heard during the frost; but, as they are something prolix, I pass them over in silence, and shall only observe, that the honourable author seems, by his quotations, to have been well versed in the ancient poets, which perhaps raised his fancy above the ordinary pitch of historians, and very much contributed to the em. bellishment of his writings.

No 255. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1710.

-Nec te tua plurima, Pantheu,

Labentem pietas, nec Apollinis insula texit.

VIRG. Æn. ii. 429.

Comes course the last, the red'ning doctor now
Slides off reluctant, with his meaning bow;
Dress, letters, wit, and merit, plead in vain,
For bear he must, indignity, and pain.

From my own Apartment, November 24.

"To the CENSOR of GREAT-BRITAIN.

« SIR,

"I AM at present under very great difficulties, which it is not in the power of any one, besides yourself, to redress. Whether or no you shall think it a pro

per case to come before your court of honour, I cannot tell ; but thus it is. I am a chaplain to an honourable family, very regular at the hours of devotion, and, I hope, of an unblameable life; but for not of. fering to rise at the second course, I found my patron and his lady, very sullen and out of humour, though at first I did not know the reason of it. At length when I happened to help myself to a jelly, the lady of the house, otherwise a devout woman, told me, that it did not become a man of my cloth to delight in such frivolous food; but as I still continued to sit out the last course, I was yesterday informed by the butler, that his lordship had no farther occasion for my service. All which is humbly submitted to your consideration by, Sir,

Your most humble servant, &c.”

The case of this gentleman deserves pity; especially if he loves sweetmeats, to which, if I may guess by his letter, he is no enemy. In the mean time, I have often wondered at the indecency of discharging the holiest man from the table as soon as the most delicious parts of the entertainment are served up, and could never conceive a reason for so absurd a custom. Is it because a liquorish palate, or a sweet tooth, as they call it, is not consistent with the sanctity of his character? This is but a trifling pretence, No man, of the most rigid virtue, gives offence by any excesses in plum-pudding or plum-porridge, and that because they are the first parts of the dinner. Is there any thing that tends to incitation in sweetmeats more than in ordinary dishes? Certainly not. Sugar-plums are a very innocent diet, and conserves of a much colder nature than your common pickles. I have sometimes thought that the ceremony of the chaplain's flying away from the desert was typical

go to the warehouse from whence he came, and thence, as occasion should require, proceed to the Exchange, or Garraway's coffee house, in what manner he pleased; but that neither he, nor any of the family of the Plumbs, should hereafter appear in the streets of London out of their coaches, that so the foot way might be left open and undisturbed for their betters."

Dathan, a pedling Jew, and T. R-, a Welshman, were indicted by the keeper of an alehouse in Westminster, for breaking the peace and two earthen mugs, in a dispute about the antiquity of their families, to the great detriment of the house, and disturbance of the whole neighbourhood. Dathan said for himself, "that he was provoked to it by the Welshman, who pretended that the Welsh were an ancienter people than the Jews; whereas," says he, "I can shew by this genealogy in my hand, that I am the son of Mesheck, that was the son of Naboth, that was the son of Shalein, that was the son of The Welshman here interrupted him, and told him, "that he could produce shennalogy as well as himself;" for "that he was John ap Rice, ap Shenken, ap Shones." He then turned himself to the Censor, and told him in the same broken accent, and with much warmth, "that the Jew would needs uphold, that King Cadwallader was younger than Issachar." Mr. Bickerstaff seemed very much inclined to give sentence against Dathan as being a Jew; but finding reasons, by some expressions which the Welshman let fall in asserting the antiquity of his family, to suspect that the said Welshman was a Pre-Adamite, he suffered the jury to go out, without any previous admonition. After some time they returned, and gave their verdict," that it appearing the persons at the bar did neither of

as knowing that his time is short. I would fain ask these stiff-necked patrons, whether they would not take it ill of a chaplain, that in his grace after meat should return thanks for the whole entertainment with an exception to the dessert? And yet I can. not but think, that in such a proceeding he would but deal with them as they deserved. What would a Roman catholic priest think, who is always helped first, and placed next the ladies, should he see a clergyman giving his company the slip at the first appearance of the tarts or sweet-meats? Would not he believe that he had the same antipathy to a candied orange, or a piece of puff-paste, as some have to a Cheshire cheese, or a breast of mutton? Yet, to so ridiculous a height is this foolish custom grown, that even the Christmas pye, which in its very nature is a kind of consecrated cake, and a badge of distinction, is often forbidden to the Druid of the family. Strange! that a sirloin of beef, whether boiled or roasted, when entire, is exposed to his utmost depredations and incisions; but, if minced into small pieces, and tossed up with plums and sugar, changes its property, and, forsooth, is meat for his

master.

In this case I know not which to censure, the patron, or the chaplain, the insolence of power, or the abjectness of dependence. For my own part, I have often blushed to see a gentleman, whom I knew to have much more wit and learning than myself, and who was bred up with me at the university upon the same foot of a liberal education, treated in such au ignominious manner, and sunk beneath those of his own rank, by reason of that character which ought to bring him honour. This deters men of generous minds from placing themselves in such a station of life, and by that means frequently excludes persons

of quality from the improving and agreeable conversation of a learned and obsequious friend.

Mr. Oldham * lets us know, that he was affrighted from the thought of such an employment, by the scandalous sort of treatment which often accompanies it :

Some think themselves exalted to the sky,
If they light in some noble family:
Diet, an horse, and thirty pounds a year,
Besides th' advantage of his lordship's ear,
The credit of the business, and the state,
Are things that in a youngster's sense sound great.
Little the unexperienc'd wretch does know
What slavery he oft must undergo.

Who, though in silken scarf and cassock drest,
Wears but a gayer livery at best.

When dinner calls, the implement must wait
With holy words to consecrate the meat,
But hold it for a favour seldom known,
If he be deign'd the honour to sit down.
Soon as the tarts appear; "Sir Crape, withdraw,
"Those dainties are not for a spiritual maw,
"Observe your distance, and be sure to stand
"Hard by the cistern with your cap in hand:
"There for diversion you may pick your teeth,
"Till the kind voider comes for your relief."
Let others, who such meannesses can brook,
Strike countenance to every great man's look;
I rate my freedom higher.

This author's raillery is the raillery of a friend, and does not turn the sacred order into ridicule; but is a just censure on such persons as take advantage, from the necessities of a man of merit, to impose on him hardships that are by no means suitable to the dignity of his profession.

*In." A Satire addressed to a Friend that is about to leave the University," &c.