their faces so strong against smokin' in decline, as not fortifyin' to the stomach, bein' so productive of spittin'. However, seein' Mr. Goliah tear away behind some firtrees a good bit away, and thinkin' him safe to pitch his father out of the chair, and break his neck, as a revenge for the ill-treatment he was undergoin' (and I shouldn't have been sorry then, for his father's sly ways I always had abhorred), I thought I would venture out of my hollow, and enter into conversation with the Bath chairman, and know what it meant. He was standin' quite stolid, as if nothin' was goin' on, and as if his chair wasn't bein' bumped into a wreck. "Well, Mr. Bungay," I made loud remark, owin' to his deafness, this is a very bad job for us all, and I only hope you ain't a party to it?"

66

"Very wet and windy, indeed, mum"-(just so) not hearin' a word I said.

"I believe there's murder goin' to be done," I bawled, determined not to be beat.

"Quite goes through my pore old bones," he said, lookin' innocent, and shiverin' quite lifelike.

"There's none so deaf as them that gives their mind to it," I said. "Can you hear this, you old catamaran?-Murder!" and I quite cricked my throat with

callin'.

66

Yes," he said; "these north winds plays the doose with my complaint."

I saw there was nothin' to be got out of him just now; though I must say I have known previous times when I could make him hear; so back I went to my hollow, and put up my umbrella, as it was comin' on to rain quite fast.

Presently Mr. Goliah comes back, draggin' the chair and his barbarous father, but slowly, and nearly wore out, for he was perspirin' very free, quite in clouds, besides the smoke from his pipe, which quite sickened me, as I was always prejudicial to tobacco, my old man never havin' took a pipe, except after supper of evenins in the back-yard. When Mr. Goliah stopped, his

father got out of the chair and went to him. "Now," thinks I, “I shouldn't at all wonder if that young man don't murder you for drivin' him to death like that, and thankful shall I be that it's not done under my roof, bein' so injurious to lodgins; though, perhaps, bringin' a few gapin' idiots about the neighbourhood just at the time, who spend money at the public-houses, but no support at all to the hard-workin' widow."

I certainly didn't see either of them strike one another, though I strained my eyes to see, coroners' juries bein' so imperative on witnesses seein' the whole truth, and nothin' but it. But no sooner did Mr. Bulliphant come up to his son, than Mr. Goliah fell down all of a heap on the grass, with a plaintive sort of whistle. I thought he had been stabbed secretly, as likely as not, havin' frequently read of such, and that base Bath-chairman an accomplice, for he helped to lift the pore helpless form into the chair, and they dragged him away pantin' a little, for I could see Mr. Goliah's breath in the rain.

However, while there's life there's hopes, they say; so seein' them movin', I thought I'd hurry home, and get some water boilin', in case it might be wanted, bein' invaluable in sickness. I can't say I felt sure of seein' them any more, after what had took place; but when I had got my things off, and the kettle boilin', they came up to the door quite bold, all three, and Mr. Goliah didn't seem much worse. He looked at me with a very mild expression of countenance when he was brought in; so I thought there couldn't be very much wrong, and I might have been mistaken about the stabbin' without my glasses. So I waited till they had got him in, and allowed a few minutes for his settlin' himself down comfortable, and then I knocked at Mr. Bulliphant's door. "How is the young gentleman, sir, after his airin'?" I made inquiry. " If not too bold, I hope he finds himself better?"

"Wuss!" said Mr. Bulliphant, particular nasty; "he saw an old woman watchin' him, and callin'

murder on the Downs, and it gave him such a turn, he was took insensible; and I'm not so deadly certain it mightn't turn out very ugly for that old woman when he wakes, if I don't restrain him, he bein' exceedin' powerful and dangerous when his anger is roused."

"Thankin' you all the same, sir, I never did such a thing as spy on parties yet, and I don't like my character undermined without cause.' This I said quite bold, well knowin' he could not have seen me on the Downs himself, and determined to have it out with that dratted Bath-chairman for slanderin' me so base behind my back.

"Mrs. Dunch, mum ?" he said, more nasty still.

"Yes, sir; what is your pleasure, sir ?" I made inquiry very mild, seein' his voice was angered, and knowin' what a soft answer will do at times.

"Hook it!" he made reply, so determined, I thought it best to humour him.

The time I had of it with them Gillyflowers, no livin' soul can tell. Every day they sent in impertinent messages to know "if Mr. Goliah's breath came any easier yet," and to say that I ought to be ashamed of myself for "harbourin' common hacrobaths;" bein' envious that they couldn't harbour such themselves. Both the Yoxmouth undertakers left their cards, but gentlemanly parties, and offerin' me to stand in for a commission. No, I made answer, though respectful to them undertakin' gentlemen, for it would be the ruin of my house if such a thing was to transpire, being prejudicial to lodgins; though a private consideration after the event, I should not feel similarly loth to accept, if offered in the way of a testimonial of respect, me havin' done the best that laid in my power for the pore dear.

It was of a Friday-a day I am nowise partial to (I remember it as the anniversary of my marriage with the late Mr. Dunch of sacred memory), Mr. Bulliphant had got up earlier than usual, and pumped more buckets of water than ever I had known him. I was a

little cool with him, he not having proved so affable in conversation as I could have wished; and being a little hurt at his previous remarks, I made as though takin' no notice, although people have their feelins if ever so pore. He did not, however, appear that impressed with my derisive silence as I could have wished, but rather went on pumpin' water and takin' in coal to that extent I felt quite alarmed. "That pore young man is goin' to have a dose of it to-day, and no mistake," I thought, but held my peace, not feelin' myself dust to be trod under foot by Mr. Bulliphant's sharp replies; for I hope I know the value of holdin' my tongue, the late Mr. Dunch (of sacred memory) havin' frequently been that aggravated by my so doin', when a little in liquid, as to have swore at times he would shy the pitcher at my head if I would not speak responsive. But Mr. Bulliphant was not affected anyways similar. He merely shut himself in his room, silently scornful; and I, feelin' likewise, just cooked me a red herrin' as if nothing had happened; and after I had cleared up my brefkast things, I went out into my little backplace, to do a bit of washin', to ease my mind as it might be.

I could hear plain enough that Mr. Goliah was worse, for his pankin' reached me in the washhouse, and I felt sure I should be called for directly, but I am one of those parties who prefers to be sought after when wanted, and not to put myself forward only to get snubbed for good intentions. "Let him pank," thinks I. "Glad enough his father 'll be presently to go down on his bended knees to me for a little motherly advice, for all his bein' a medical man, of which I have my doubts."

All of a sudden there came such a tremendious explosion, I thought the whole house had blowed up. As soon as I recovered myself, in I ran-and there was all the Gillyflowers troopin' into my passage, and the house like a washin'-day for steam.

"I thought I would just run round to tell

you that

all your front-room windows is blowed out," Mrs. Mervin says, very acrimonious; "and I do hope it 'll be a warnin' to you not to take in any more menageries, to bring disgrace on the Row."

Without disdainin' her a reply, I rushed upstairs to my bedroom above Mr. Bulliphant's room, and there such a sight met my eyes as twenty pound would scarcely replace. The floor-boards was ripped up in all directions: my washhandstand entirely disabled, the chamber-ware being broke in pieces beyond rivets to make good; my family four-poster, my own mother's gift, desolated into a ruin; the chest of drawers blowed to atoms; not a bit of my lookin'-glass left big enough to see yourself in; and the very towel mutilated into a rag. "This will all go down in the bill," thinks I; "and a comfort it is that Mr. Bulliphant is a gentleman."

There was a hole made in the floor big enough to look into the room below, or fall through, for that matter, and when I had taken account of the damage done, I made bold to look down into Mr. Bulliphant's

room.

Mr. Bulliphant was lying on the floor apparently senseless. All I could see of Mr. Goliah was his head up against the fender of the fireplace; and such a disgraceful state as the room was in nobody would believe.

"This is a very solemn thing, mum," I says to Mrs. Mervin, who had come into my room without being asked, "and I hope it 'll teach us all a lesson."

for

"Ah," she says, lookin' down into the room, "pore dear! However, mum, it's a debt we must all pay, that matter, and I only hope you'll get your money."

"Well," I says to myself, "he's long past feelin' now, poor mortal; and ten shillin' couldn't be dear for layin' him out, there bein' such a quantity of him, and in such small pieces-'twould look a mere nothin' in the bill."

"It's murder, safe enough," I says to the Gilly