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A DOÚBLE folly how to cook
If you desire to know,
That some score years ago
Was printed for the use of cooks
Who wéll had learned to read; I've triéd it often, and still found
The récipé succeed.
You'll take the first young man you meet
That 's handsome and well made, And dress him in a brán- new suit
Of clóthes of any shade;
But blue and drab, or brown and white,
Is said to be the best;
Of patterned silk his vest.
His glóssy, lacquered boots, too small
To hold with ease his toes,
At every step he goes.
Both cheeks should be scraped close and clean,
But I advise you spare Just in the middle of his chin
One little tuft of hair;
And leáve upon his upper lip
Enough to take a twirl
He 's not all out a girl.
And then you 'll teach him airs genteel,
And words of import small About religion, politics,
Ảnd the last fancy - ball.
When your young man is thus prepared,
Look round until you find A máte for him as suitable
In person as in mind.
Simple and dignified must be
Her boarding -school- taught mien, And for the last five years her age
Sómething about eighteen.
She múst have learned a mincing gait,
And not to swing her arms;
'Twill doúble all her charms.
fgnorance of things she knows right well
Her looks must always show,
She must pretend to know.
Néver must shé behind her look
While walking in the street;
Must néver, never meet.
Bút she may peep behind the blinds
When in the room 's no one,
Or streét is going on.
She must have learned neat angle hand
And how to fold a note; Búlwer and Byron understand,
And on dear children doat.
Bút above all things she must love
The only, one, true church, And heresy and unbelief
Háte, as bold boys the birch.
They 're ready now, the youth and maid,
And need but to be brought Mind well! by accident together
Ånd without all forethought.
Two rainstreams on the window pane
You've seen together run, Two pools of milk upon a tray
You 've seen blend into one.
So youth and maid bring them but near
Are súre to coalesce;
May hárder be to guess:
Grammarians hold it for the accord
Of similar tense and case, Attraction, it 's by chemists called,
Of ácid for a base.
Musicians call it the concórd
Of óctaves lower and higher, Philosophers the sympathy
Of púppets on one wire.
Geologists find even hard stone
Given to conglomerate, And not a botanist but knows
Each plant turns toward a mate;
All may be right or all be wrong
For anything I know,
It 's not for me to go.
They 've seen each other at a friend's;
Well done! you 've now to choose A pláce convenient to them both
For fréquent rendezvous.
The máll 's too public, and almost
As public evening Tea; 'Twére a real pity your good work
Should spoiled by tattling be;
Bút in a Propaganda school
As often as they please They'll come together, youth and maid,
In safety and at ease.
Your work is done; your youth and maid
No more need of your care;
They áre a wedded pair.
A double folly. so they cooked
Some twenty years ago,
Ask nót, for I don't know;
But this I know, the recipé
Succeeds even in these days,
Connoisseurs the praise.
Walking across the mountains from Cortina in VaL AMPEZZO to PREDAZZO in VAL FIEME, July 24 – 26, 1854.
SAID Vinegar-cruet to Mustard - pot once:
"I wish you knew how to behave;
While you keep still looking so grave?”
"Excúse me, dear Vinegar-cruet," replied
Mustard-pót, "I 've been thinking this hour
Were yoú but a little less sour.”