with horror in his eyes, upon a silver bason filled with water. Observing something in his countenance that looked like lunacy, I fancied at first, that he was to express that kind of distraction which the physicians call the hydro-phobia; but considering what the intention of the show was, I immediately recollected myself, and concluded it to be Anabaptism. 'The next figure was a man that sat under a most profound composure of mind. He wore a hat whose brims were exactly parallel with the horizon. His garment had neither sleeve nor skirt, nor so much as a superfluous button. What they called his cravat, was a little piece of white linen quilled with great exactness, and hanging below his chin about two inches. Seeing a book in his hand, I asked our artist what it was; who told me it was "The Quaker's Religion:" upon which I desired a sight of it. Upon perusal, I found it to be nothing but a newfashioned grammar, or an art of abridging ordinary discourse. The nouns were reduced to a very small number, as the Light, Friend, Babylon. The principal of his pronouns was thou; and as for you, ye, and yours, I found they were not looked upon as parts of speech in this grammar. All the verbs wanted the second person plural; the participles ended all in ing or ed, which were marked with a particular accent. There were no adverbs besides yea and nay. The same thrift was observed in the prepositions. The conjunctions were only hem! and ha! and the interjections brought under the three heads of sighing, sobbing, and groaning. "There was at the end of the grammar a little nomenclature, called, "The Christian Man's Vocabulary," which gave new appellations, or, if you will, Christian names, to almost every thing in life. I replaced the book in the hand of the figure, not without admiring the simplicity of its garb, speech, and behaviour. 'Just opposite to this row of religions, there was a statue dressed in a fool's-coat, with a cap of bells upon his head, laughing and pointing at the figures that stood before him. This ideot is supposed to say in his heart what David's fool did some thousands of years ago, and was therefore designed as a proper representative of those among us, who are called Atheists and Infidels by others, and Freethinkers by themselves. "There were many other groups of figures which I did not know the meaning of; but seeing a collection of both sexes turning their backs upon the company, and laying their heads very close together, I inquired after their religion, and found that they called themselves the Philadelphians, or the family of love. 'In the opposite corner there sat another little congregation of strange figures, opening their mouths as wide as they could gape, and distinguished by the title of the Sweet Singers of Israel. 'I must not omit that in this assembly of wax there were several pieces that moved by clock-work, and gave great satisfaction to the spectators. Behind the matron there stood one of these figures, and behind Popery another, which as the artist told us, were each of them the genius of the person they attended. That behind Popery represented Persecution, and the other Moderation. The first of these moved by secret springs towards a great heap of dead bodies, that lay piled upon one another at a considerable distance behind the principal figures. There were written on the foreheads of these dead men, several hard words, as Pre-Adamites, Sabbatarians, Cameronians, Muggletonians, Brownists, Independents, Masonists, Comisars, and the like. At the approach of Persecution, it was so contrived, that as she held up her bloody flag, the whole assembly of dead men, like those in the Rehearsal, started up and drew their swords. This was followed by great clashings and noise, when, in the midst of the tumult, the figure of Moderation moved gently towards this new army, which, upon her holding up a paper in her hand, inscribed, "Liberty of Conscience," immediately fell into a heap of carcasses, remaining in the same quiet posture in which they lay at first.' No 258. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1710. Occidit miseros crambe repetita― Juv. Sat. vii. 154. From my own Apartment, December 1. WHEN a man keeps a constant table, he may be allowed sometimes to serve up a cold dish of meat, or toss up the fragments of a feast in a ragoût. I have sometimes, in a scarcity of provisions, been obliged to take the same kind of liberty, and to entertain my reader with the leavings of a former treat. I must this day have recourse to the same method, and beg my guests to sit down to a kind of Saturday's dinner. To let the metaphor rest; I intend to fill up this paper with a bundle of letters, relating to subjects on which I have formerly treated; and have ordered my bookseller to print, at the end of each letter, the minutes with which I indorsed it, after the first perusal of it. . 'To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esquire. 'SIR, November 22, 1710. 'Dining yesterday with Mr. South-British and Mr. William North-Britain, two gentlemen, who before you ordered it otherwise, were known by the names of Mr. English, and Mr. William Scot; among other things, the maid of the house, who in her time I believe may have been a North-British warmingpan, brought us up a dish of North-British collops. We liked our entertainment very well; only we observed the tablecloth, being not so fine as we could have wished, was North-British cloth. But the worst of it was, we were disturbed all dinner-time by the noise of the children, who were playing in the paved court at North-British hoppers; so we paid our North-Briton* sooner than we designed, and took coach to North-Briton Yard †, about which place most of us live. We had indeed gone a-foot, only we were under some apprehensions lest a NorthBritish mist should wet a South-British man to the skin. 'We think this matter properly expressed, according to the accuracy of the new style, settled by you in one of your late Papers. You will please to give your opinion upon it to, Sir, Your most humble servants, J. S. M. P. N. R.' See if this letter be conformable to the directions given in the Tatler above mentioned. * Scot, i. e. share of the reckoning. + Scotland-yard. Jonathan Swift, Matthew Prior, Nicholas Rowe. U 'A gentleman in my neighbourhood, who happens to be brother to a lord, though neither his father nor grandfather were so, is perpetually making use of this phrase, "a person of my quality." He has it in his mouth fifty times a-day, to his labourers, his servants, his children, his tenants, and his neighbours. Wet or dry, at home or abroad, drunk or sober, angry or pleased, it is the constant burden of his style. Sir, as you are Censor of Great Britain, as you value the repose of a loyal county, and the reputation of my neighbour, I beg you will take this cruel grievance into your consideration; else, for my own particular, I am resolved to give up my farms, sell my stock, and remove with my wife and seven children next spring to Falmouth or Berwick, if my strength will permit me, being brought into a very weak condition. I am, with great respect, Sir, your most obedient and languishing servant,' &c. Let this be referred to the Court of Honour. 'MR. BICKERSTAFF, pos I am a young lady of a good fortune, and at present invested by several lovers, who lay close siege to me, and carry on their attacks with all sible diligence. I know which of them has the first place in my own heart, but would freely cross my private inclinations to make choice of the man who loves me best; which it is impossible for me to know, all of them pretending to an equal passion for me. Let me, therefore, beg of you, dear Mr. Bickerstaff, to lend me your Ithuriel's spear, in order to touch this troop of rivals; after which I will most faithfully return it to you again, with the greatest gratitude. I am, Sir, &c.' |