SCENE IX. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Sir John, there's one mafter Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught of sack. Fal. Brook is his name? Bard. Ay, fir. Fal. Call him in; fuch Brooks are welcome to me that o'erflow with fuch liquor. Ah! ah! mistress Ford, and mistress Page, have I encompass'd you? go to; via! Enter Ford difguis'd. Ford. 'Blefs you, fir! Fal. And you, fir; would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold to prefs with fo little preparation upon you. Fal. You're welcome; what's your will? give us leave, drawer. [Exit Bard. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. you. for Fal. Good mafter Brook, I defire more acquaintance of Ford. Good fir John, I fue for yours; not to charge you ; I must let you understand, I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are; the which hath fomething embolden'd me to this unfeafon'd intrufion; for they fay, if money go before, all ways do lye open. Fal. Money is a good foldier, fir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me; if you will help to bear it, fir John, take all, or half, for eafing me of the carriage. a Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deferve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, fir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good master Brook, I shall be glad to be your fervant. Edit. of 1619. In all the fucceeding editions this name of Brook is alter'd to Broom: whereas it is manifeft from this conceit upon the name, that it should be Brook. VOL. I. Hh Ford. Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar, (I will be brief with you) and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never fo good means as defire to make myself acquainted with you: I fhall discover a thing to you, wherein I muft very much lay open mine own imperfections; but, good fir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the cafier, fith you yourself know how eafy it is to be fuch an offender. Fal. Very well: fir, proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, fir. Ford. I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestow'd much on her, follow'd her with a doting obfervance, engross'd opportunities to meet her, fee'd every flight occafion that could but niggardly give me fight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many to know what fhe would have given: briefly, I have purfu'd her as love hath purfu'd me, which hath been on the wing of all occafions. But, whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none, unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchas'd at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this: Love like a fhadow flies, when fubftance love pursues; Fal. Have you receiv'd no promise of fatisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Fal. Have you importun'd her to fuch a purpose? Ford. Never. Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house built on another man's ground; fo that I have loft my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet, in other places she enlargeth enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, fir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable difcourfe, of great admittance, authentick in your place and perfon, generally allow'd for your many warlike, courtlike, and learned preparations. Fal. O fir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it; there is money, spend it, fpend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an amiable fiege to the honefty of this Ford's wife; ufe your art of wooing, win her to confent to you; if any man may, you may as foon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? methinks, you prescribe to yourself very prepofterously. Ford. O, understand my drift; she dwells fo fecurely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not present itfelf; she is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had inftance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other defences, which now are too ftrongly embattled against me. What say you to't, fir John? Fal. Mafter Brook, I will firft make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O good fir! Fal. I fay, you fhall. Ford. Want no money, fir John, you shall want none. Fal. Want no miftrefs Ford, mafter Brook, you fhall want none; I fhall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment. Even as you came in to me, her affiftant, or go-between, parted from me; I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth; come you to me at night, you shall know how I fpeed. Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance: do you know Ford, fir? wrong wrong him, to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly knave hath maffes of money, for the which his wife feems to me wellfavour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckold-rogue's coffer; and there's my harveft-home. if Ford. I would you knew Ford, fir, that you might avoid him, you faw him. Fal. Hang him, mechanical falt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Mafter Brook, thou fhalt know, I will predominate over the peafant, and thou fhalt lye with his wife: come to me soon at night; Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his ftile: thou, master Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckold; come to me foon at night. SCENE X. [Exit. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! my heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who fays, this is improvident jealoufy? my wife hath fent to him, the hour is fix'd, the match is made; would any man have thought this? fee the hell of having a false woman! my bed fhall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at, and I fhall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me the wrong; terms! names! Amaimon sounds well, Lucifer well, Barbafon well, yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol! cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass, he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous : I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheese, an Irishman with my Aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then the plots, then she ruminates, then the devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heav'n be prais'd for my jealoufy! Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page: I will about it: better three hours too foon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! [Exit. SCENE SCENE XI. Windfor-Park. Enter Caius and Rugby. Caius. JACK Rugby! Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack? Rug. 'Tis paft the hour, fir, that fir Hugh promis'd to meet. Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no come; he has pray his pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wife, fir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came. Caius. By gar, de herring is not fo dead as me vill make him. Take your rapier, Jack, I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Rug. Alas, fir, I cannot fence. Caius. Villany, take your rapier. Rug. Forbear; here's company. Enter Hoft, Shallow, Slender, and Page. Hoft. 'Bless thee, bully-doctor. Shal. 'Save you, mafter doctor Caius. Page. Now, good master doctor. Slen. Give you good-morrow, fir. Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Hoft. To fee thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse, to fee thee here, to see thee there, to see thee pass thy puncto, chy ftock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francifco? ha, bully? what Fays my Efculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha? is he dead, bully-ftale? is he dead? Caius. By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de varld; he is not show his face. Hoft. |