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Hoft. Thou art a Cardalion3, king Urinal, Hector of Greece, my boy.

Caius. I pray you, bear witnefs dat me have stay from fix or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.

Shal. He is the wiser man, mafter doctor; he is a curer of fouls, and you a curer of bodies: if you fhould fight, you go against the hair of your profeffions: Is it not true, mafter Page? Page. Mafter Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.

Shal. Body-kins, master Page, though I now be old, and of peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one: though we are justices, and doctors, and church-men, master Page, we have fome falt of our youth in us; we are the fons of women, mafter Page.

Page. 'Tis true, mafter Shallow.

Shal. It will be found fo, mafter Page. Mafter doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home; I am fworn of the peace; you have fhow'd yourself a wife physician, and fir Hugh hath shown himself a wife and patient church-man: you must go with me, mafter doctor.

Hoft. Pardon, guest-justice; ah! monfieur mock-water! Caius. Mock-vater? vat is dat?

Hoft. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully. Caius. By gar, den I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman, fcurvy-jack-dog-prieft; by gar, me vill cut his ears. Hoft. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

Caius. Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?

Hoft. That is, he will make thee amends.

Caius. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.

Hoft. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.

Caius. Me tank you for dat.

Hoft. And moreover, bully; but firft, mafter guest, and master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.

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Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Hoft. He is there; fee what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about the fields: will it do well?

Shal. We will do it.

All. Adieu, good mafter doctor. [Ex. Page, Shal. and Slen. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jackan-ape to Anne Page.

Hoft. Let him die; but sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a feafting, and thou shalt woo her, cock o'th' game; faid I well?

Caius. By gar, me tank you vor dat: by gar, I love you; and I fhall procure 'a you de good gueft; de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

Hoft. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page: faid I well?

Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell faid.

Hoft. Let us wag then.

Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

ACT III.

[Exeunt.

SCENE I.

Frogmore near Windfor.

Enter Evans and Simple.

EVANS.

Simple by your good, after sender's ferving man, and friend name, which way have you look'd for mafter

Caius, that calls himself doctor of phyfick?

Simp. Marry, fir, the pitty-wary, the park-ward, old Windfor way, and every way but the town way.

Eva. I moft fehemently defire you, you will alfo look that way.
Simp. I will, fir.

Eva. 'Plefs my foul! how full of chollars I am, and trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceiv'd me; how melan

chollies

chollies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave's coftard, when I have good opportunities for the ork: 'plefs my foul!

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[Sings, being afraid.

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By fhallow-Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds fing madrigalls—when as I fat in Pabilion;
and a thousand vragrant pofies. By fhallow, &c.
Simp. Yonder he is coming, this way, fir Hugh.
Eva. He's welcome. By shallow rivers, to whofe falls —
Heav'n profper the right! what weapons is he?

Simp. No weapons, fir; there comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.

Eva. Pray you give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.

SCENE II.

Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Shal. How now, mafter parfon? good-morrow, good fir Hugh. Keep a gamefter from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

Slen. Ah fweet Anne Page!

Page. 'Save you, good fir Hugh.

Eva. 'Plefs you from his mercy-fake, all of you!

Shal. What? the fword and the word? do you study them both, master parfon ?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hofe, this raw rheumatick day?

Eva. There is reasons and caufes for it.

Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, mafter parson. Eva. Ferry well: what is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike, having receiv'd wrong by fome perfon, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.

Shal.

Shal. I have liv'd fourscore years, and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, fo wide of his own refpect.

Eva. What is he?

Page. I think, you know him; mafter doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.

Eva. Got's will, and his paffion of my heart! I had as lief you should tell me of a mess of porridge.

Page. Why?

Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen; and he is a knave befides, a cowardly knave as you would defire to be acquainted withal.

Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.
Slen. O fweet Anne Page!

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Enter Hoft, Caius, and Rugby.

Shal. It appears fo by his weapons: keep them afunder; comes doctor Caius.

Page. Nay, good mafter parfon, keep in your weapon.
Shal. So do you, good mafter doctor.

here

Hoft. Difarm them, and let them queftion; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.

Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a vord vith your ear: verfore vill you not meet-a me?

Eva. Pray you, use your patience in good time.

Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I defire you in friendship, and will one way or other make you amends; I will knog your urinal about your knave's cogs-comb for miffing your meetings and appointments.

Caius. Diable! Jack Rugby, mine hoft de jartere, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not at de place I did appoint ? Eva. As I am a christian's-foul now, look you, this is the place appointed: I'll be judgment by mine hoft of the garter. VOL. I.

I i

Hoft.

Hoft. Peace, I say, Gallia and Wallia, French and Welch, foul-cuter and body-curer.

Caius. Ay, dat is very good, excellent.

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Hoft. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the garter. Am I politick? am I fubtle? am I a Machiavel? fhall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my prieft? my fir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, celeftial, fo. Boys of art, I have deceiv'd you both: I have directed you to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burn'd fack be the iffue. Come, lay their fwords to pawn. Follow me, lad of peace, follow, follow, follow.

Shal. Trust me, a mad host. Slen. O fweet Anne Page! Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? ha, ha?

Follow, gentlemen, follow. [Ex. Shal. Slen. Page and Hoft. have you make-a de fot of

us,

Eva. This is well, he has made us his vlouting-stock. I defire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scald-fcurvy-cogging companion, the hoft of the garter.

Caius. By gar, vith all my heart; he promise to bring me ver is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.

Eva. Well, I will fmite his noddles; pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

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Enter miftrefs Page and Robin.

Mrs Page. wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader.

AY, keep your way, little gallant; you were

Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

Rob. I had rather, forfooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs.

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