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Sir To. O, for a stone-bow, to hit him in the eye.
Mal. Calling my officers about me, in my branched velvet gown : having come from a daybed, where I have left Olivia sleeping :
Sir To. Fire and brimstone!
Mal. And then to have the humour of state : and after a demure travel of regard,-telling them, I know my place, as I would they should do theirs,—to ask for my kinsman Toby :
Sir To. Bolts and shackles !
Mal. Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make out for him: I frown the while : and, perchance, wind up my watch, or play with some rich jewel. Toby approaches; court’sies there to me :
Sir To. Shall this fellow live?
Fab. Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet peace.
Mal. I extend my hand to him thus,-quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control :
Sir To. And does not Toby take you a blow o' the lips then?
Mal. Saying, Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on your niece, give me this prerogative of speech :
Sir To. What, what?
drunkenness. Sir Th. Out, scab!
Fab. Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.
Mal. Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight ;
Sir And. That's me, I warrant you.
Mal. What employment have we here?
[Taking up the letter. Fab. Now is the woodcock near the gin.
Sir To. O, peace ! and the spirit of humours intimate reading aloud to him.
Mal. By my life, that is my lady's hand: these be her very C's, her U's, and her T's; and thus makes she her great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.
Sir And. Her C's, her U's, and her T's: why that?
Mal. [reads.] To the unknown beloved, this, and my good wishes: her very phrases !-By your leave, wax.-Soft! and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal : 'tis my lady. To whom should this be?
Fab. This wins him, liver and all.
No man must know.
No man must know. - What follows ? the numbers altered !-No man must know:-if this should be thee, Malvolio ?
Sir To. Marry, hang thee, brock!
But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
M, 0, A, I, doth sway my life.
Mı!. M, 0, A, I, doth sway my life.-Nay, but first, let me see, -let me see,-let me see.
Fab. What dish of poison has she dressed him !
Sir To. And with what wing the stannyel checks at it!
Mal. I may command where I adore. Why, she may command me : I serve her, she is my lady. Why, this is evident to any formal capacity. There is no obstruction in this ;--and the end,—what should that alphabetical position portend? If I could make that resemble something in me,-softly !-M, 0, A, I.
Sir To. O ay! make up that:-he is now at a cold scent.
Fab. Sowter will cry upon ’t, for all this, though it be as rank as a fox.
Mal. M,—Malvolio;-M,—why, that begins my name.
Fab. Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is excellent at faults. Mal. M,--but then there is no consonancy in
sequel ; that suffers under probation : A should follow, but o does.
Fab. And O shall end, I hope.
Mal. And then I comes behind.
Fab. Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you might see more detraction at your heels, than fortunes before you.
Mal. M, 0, A, I;—this simulation is not as the former :—and yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for every one of these letters are in my name. Soft ; here follows prose. [Reads.] If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my
stars I am above thee; but be not afraid of great
some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy Fates open their hands ; let thy blood and spirit embrace them. And, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be, cast thy humble slough, and appear fresh.
Be opposite with a kinsman, surely with servants : let thy tongue tang arguments of state ; put thyself into the trick of singularity : she thus advises thee that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings : and wished to see thee ever cross-gartered : I say, remember. Go to ; thou art made, if thou desirest to be so ; if not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell. She that would alter services with thee. The FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.--Daylight and champain discovers not more : this is open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors, will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-de-vice, the very man. I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me.
She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg being crossgartered ; and in this she manifests herself to my love, and, with a kind of injunction, drives me to these habits of her liking.
I thank my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be praised !—Here is yet a postscript. Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling ; thy smiles become thee well : therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, I pr’ythee. Jove, I thank thee.-I will smile; I will do everything that thou wilt have me.
[Exit. Feb. I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.
Sir To. I could marry this wench for this device.
Sir Aid. So could I too.
Sir To. And ask no other dowry with her, but such another jest.
Sir And. Nor I neither.
Sir To. Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck ?
Sir To. Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip, and become thy bond-slave?
Sir And. I'faith, or I either?
Sir To. Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that, when the image of it leaves him, he must run mad.
Mar. Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?
Sir To. Like aqua-vitæ with a midwife.
Mar. If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his first approach before my lady: he will come to her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she abhors; and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests; and he will smile upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn into a notable contempt : if you will see it, follow me.
Sir To. To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit !
Sir And. I'll make one too. [Exeunt