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SCENE I.-Another part of the Park.
Enter ARMADO and MOTI.
sense of hearing.
Arm. Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years ! take this key, give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately hither; I must employ him in a letter to my love.
Moth. Master, will you win your love with a French brawl ?
Arm. How meanest thou ? brawling in French ?
Moth. No, my complete master : but to jig off a tune at the tongue's end, canary to it with your feet, humour it with turning up your eyelids; sigh a note, and sing a note; sometime through the throat, as if you swallowed love with singing love; sometime through the nose, as if you snuffed up love by smelling love; with your hat, penthouse-like, o'er the shop of your eyes ; with your arms
crossed on your thin bellydoublet, like a rabbit on a spit; or your hands in your pocket, like a man after the old painting; and keep not too long in one tune, but a snip
These are complements, these are humours; these betray nice wenches, that would be betrayed without these; and make them men of note, (do you note, men ?) that most affected to these.
Arm. How hast thou purchased this experience ?
Moth. By my penny of ohservation.
Moth. No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your love, perhaps, a hackney. But have you forgot your love?
Arm. Almost I had.
Moth. And out of heart, master : all those three I will prove.
Arm. What wilt thou prove ?
Moth. A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon the instant: by heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by her : in heart you love her, because your heart is in love with her : and out of heart you love her, being out of heart that you cannot enjoy her.
Arm. I am all these three.
Moth. And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all. Arm. Fetch hither the swain; he must carry
l me a letter.
Moth. A message well sympathized ; a horse to be ambassador for an ass !
Arm. Ha, ha! what sayest thou ?
Moth. Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse, for he is very slow-gaited : but I go.
Arm. The way is but short; away.
Arm. Thy meaning, pretty ingenious ?
master, no. Arm. I say, lead is slow.
You are too swift, sir, to say so : Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?
Arm. Sweet smoke of rhetoric ! He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's
I shoot thee at the swain.
Thump, then, and I flee.
[Exit. Arm. A most acute juvenal; volable and free
of grace ! By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy
face : Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place. My herald is return'd.
Re-enter MOTII and COSTARD.
broken in a shin.
l'envoy ;-begin. Cost. No egma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in them all, sir : O sir, plantain, a plain plantain; no l'envoy, no l'envoy, no salve, sir, but a plantain !
Arm. By virtue, thou enforcest laughter : thy silly thought, my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling: 0 pardon me, my stars ! Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l’envoy, and the word l’envoy for a salve ?
Moth. Do the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve? Arm. No, page : it is an epilogue or discourse,
to make plain Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been I will example it :
The fox, the ape, and the humble bee,
Were still at odds, being but three. There's the moral : now the l'envoy.
Moth. I will add the l'envoy ; say the moral again. Arm. The fox, the ape, and the humble bee,
Were still at odds, being but three. Moth. Until the goose came out of door,
And stay'd the odds by adding four. Now will begin your moral, and do
you follow with my l'envoy.
The fox, the ape, and the humble bee,
Were still at odds, being but three : Arm. Until the goose came out of door,
Staying the odds by adding four. Moth. A good l'envoy, ending in the goose;
would you desire more? Cost. The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose,
that's Alat :Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be
fat.To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and
loose : Let
fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose. Arm. Come hither, come hither : how did this
argument begin ? Moth. By saying that a Costard was broken in
a shin. Then call’d you for the l'envoy. Cost. True, and I for a plantain: thus came
your argument in; Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you
bought. And he ended the market.
Arm. But tell me; how was there a Costard broken in a shin?
Moth. I will tell you sensibly.
Cost. Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth; I will speak that l'envoy. 1, Costard, running out, that was safely within, Fell over the threshold, and broke my shin.
Arm. We will talk no more of this matter. Cost. Till there be more matter in the shin. Arm. Marry, Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
Cost. O, marry me to one Frances ;--I smell some l'envoy, some goose, in this.
Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, bound.
Cost. True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose.
Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this; bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta : there is remuneration [giving him money]; for the best ward of mine honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
[Exit. Moth. Like the sequel, 1.-Signor Costard,
adieu. Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh ! my incony Jew.
[Exit Moth. Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration ! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings : three farthings—remuneration.What's the price of this inkle ? a penny :-No, I'll give you a remuneration : why, it carries it.Remuneration !—why, it is a fairer name than French crown.
I will never buy and sell out of this word.