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Children and Servants; nor will my Cries for his holy Spirit be vain.'

• October 5, 1750. With great Relish did I think of this Day before its Approach. It was late before I reached my Asylum, the Veftry. In pursuing my Plan, I reviewed the Memoranda of the laft Month and faw much Cause for Thanksgiving and to mingle Humiliation with it; Thanksgiving, especially for Affiftance in my public Labours, which, thro' Grace, have • been this Month animated and pleasant: But I had • Reason to be humbled, that I had dispatched much lefs Bufinefs in my Study, than I should have done; and that there had been too great a Neglect of the private Care of my Congregation. For this I humbled myfelf before GOD, while I acknowledged his Mercy. I found particular Reafon to praise him for fome Favours to me with Regard to the Academy and Congregation; the Profpect of Succefs in fome of my • Schemes for his Glory; the Rife of the Society för promoting religious Knowledge among the Poor, and the Prevention of fome Party-fchemes from taking • Place. During thefe Exercifes, I felt a holy Joy in GOD in the Views of Heaven, and Hope of appearing with Acceptance in the Prefence of my Judge at laft. I spent a whole Hour in the delightful Exercife of Interceffion; with great Fervency pouring out my Soul before God, for the World and the Church; lofing what was particular in what was general, upon truly christian and catholic Principles, GoD is Witnefs. Before I entered on what was peculiar to the Design of the Day, I fet myself to contemplate the Sufferings of Chrift. I had a delightful Survey of them, and was enabled to rejoice in his Triumph and Glory, and anew to de

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vote myself to him, as not my own, but bought with a Price. I found my Heart inflamed with an earneft Defire of acting for this Saviour, and asked of God Wifdom and Refolution for this Purpose. In the clofe, I was taken up with admiring and adoring redeeming Love, and in bleffing GOD for that Communion, which I had this Day enjoyed with him. He hath been with me of a Truth; • he hath heard the Language of my Heart as well as my Voice; and I leave it upon Record, that I have a chearful Expectation of his Bleffing, and hope to have new Matter of Praife, as to Manifeftation of divine Love to my Soul and minifterial Success, before another of thefe Days returns. I faw with Regret my Time for this Exercife was ended: I left the Feast with an Appetite, and my Soul faid, It is good to be here. Bleffed be the Lord GOD of Ifrael, from henceforth, even for ever! Amen.

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May 4, 1751. My Heart was, I trust, upright with GOD in all the Duties of the Morning both in Secret and in the Family. In my Retirement at the Veftry, I made it my first Bufinefs to pour out my Soul before GoD, which I did with great Freedom and Enlargement, ardently longing for more of his Spirit to fanctify and quicken me. I devoted myfelf to God in my various Relations, with warm Refolutions for his Service, and laid all my Views ⚫ and Comforts at his Feet. What was moft parti'cular in the Exercifes of this Day was, that upon reviewing fome Accounts of the Temper of my Mind many Years ago, I obferved and reflected upon the fad, inconftant State in which it was for fome time in my Youth. I confeffed thofe parti

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⚫cular Sins and all my Sins, with very low and aba

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fing Thoughts of myfelf. I did in fome measure abhor myself and repent, as in Duft and Ashes. And being filled with Shame and Confufion of Face on • Account of them, I took fome Time to humble myself more folemnly before GOD for them; in⚫ treating his Mercy to pardon what is paft, and the • fanctifying Influence of his Grace more fully to renew my Soul; befeeching the Lord, not to blast " my Labours on Account of them, as I have deserved; praying that I may bear them in Remembrance ' while I live, in every future Circumftance of Life. I was much affected to think, that, notwithstanding them, GOD fhould honour me as an Inftrument of fo much Usefulness. Among other Mercies, I thankfully acknowledged divine Goodnefs, that I • had been enabled fo faithfully to execute that Part ' of my Scheme, of visiting Families and converfing with them on religious Subjects; and prayed for every Family and Perfon I had vifited with this View, as their Circumstances required. I then formed fome Purposes for ferving GoD and promoting his Glory, which I turned into Prayers, afking of him Prudence and Refolution to fulfill them. I particularly afked for myself more of the Spirit of Prayer, and a Heart more devoted to Gop than ever. I was fo delighted with my Nearnefs to GOD that I was loth to break-off. I was comforted in the Review of my Work, that my Prayers had been folemn, fincere and deliberate; tho' not attended ' with fuch a Fervour of Spirit, thro' the whole Exercife, as I have fometimes felt at these Seasons. • I left the Place with a chearful Persuasion, that my • Prayers

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Prayers were heard, and that I fhall fee the Outgoings of my GOD and my King in his Sanctuary. Adored be the condefcending GOD, who gave me fuch a Meeting in them! Oh, when shall I come ⚫ and appear before him again?'

I will only add another Specimen; which may be ferviceable to the devout and lively Chriftian, by fhewing him, that fuch delightful Intercourfe with Heaven is not always to be expected, even when the greatest Care is taken to fecure it; but that neceffary worldly Bufinefs, bodily Disorders, or growing Infirmities may interrupt or leffen it.

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June 1, 1751. Having had more than ordinary Work fome paft Days, and being extremely low, my Devotions were this Day ftrangely mingled, and fadly interrupted; and upon the whole, it was the most uncomfortable Day of this Kind, that I ever spent: So that in reflecting upon it, I was tempted to think, that my Time would have been more profitably employed in the ufual Business of the Family and Academy, than in this Retirement. I was fearful, that my Deadnefs this Day might be owing to the. divine Displeasure against me, for having been more diffipated and negligent than ufual, in my Devotion and Conduct. Truly, fecret • Devotion hath fuffered a great deal, amidst the many Cares and Hurries, the unfeasonable Hours, the Vifits and Company of late Days. It feemed just in GoD to disappoint my Expectations from this 'Day, that I may learn Caution for the future, especially in the Scenes thro' which I am going to pafs in my intended Journey. My Thoughts were more distracted and wandering than I ever before experi

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enced on thofe Days. I had many Mercies to afk for myself, and for others, particularly for my Pupils, who are going out into the Church: Yet I felt a Barrennefs and Deadness of Heart, as if all thefe Things were nothing to me. My Thanksgivings and Interceffions were really fo unlike those I have fometimes offered, with all my Heart and all my Soul, that I hardly know how to call them Prayers. I hope and believe, upon the whole, that this was chiefly owing to the Weakness of my Frame and the Dejection of my Spirits. Nevertheless I thought it my Duty to lament my Indifpo'fition for Devotion and to ftruggle with it, which ' I did for a long Time; and at length the Duties of ⚫ this Retirement concluded with a bright Hour, when committing my Family, Academy and Church to GOD, and interceding for my Friends and the Public. My Prayers were warm and lively, and they ' will not be vain.-Having reviewed the Memoranda of feveral of thefe Seafons for the last Year, I find, upon the whole, fo much Caufe for Thankfulness, that I purpose by divine Grace to continue this Practice, as long as I have Life, Health and • Ability.'

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Such Pains did Dr. Doddridge take to keep up an habitual Senfe of God, to maintain and increase the Ardour of Religion in his Heart; and to furnish himfelf, by these devout Exercises, with Spirit and Refolution to go thro' the important and arduous Labours of his Station, which otherwife he could not have done! It is probable that some may treat fuch Excrcises as thefe with Contempt, and think his Time was very 11 employed in them. I lament the Stupidity and

Wretch

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