Jenkinsons, of Portland-place, were fluttered; a family of Duckworths retreated to Norwood; and the Bompases, of Bryanston-square, were divided between burning their house and starting upon a continental tour. Yet it was neither upon the Puddicomes, the Bompases, the Duckworths, or the Jenkinsons, that the Falcons first stooped. The house of a Mr. Freeman, in Harley-street, was the primary object of attack, and the Freemans had no ground for complaining of want of notice, as the following letter, received a few days before by Mrs. Freeman, from Mrs. Falcon, will satisfactorily show. "Broomfield, Stony-Stratford, May 25. "MY DEAR MRS. FREEMAN, "We are all charmed to hear you are going to Plymouth next week; the country will do you and dear Mr. Freeman so much good. I hope and trust he will benefit by the change of air and the salt water. Lady Charlotte Nostrum makes it a rule to go to Plymouth for three months after every course of the London doctors, and it infallibly sets her up, and enables her to go through it all over again the next season. Just think of our misery, obliged to go to town just when other people are thinking of leaving it, and when town is beginning to be downright odious. The Sympletones will never forgive us for running away from them so soon, but Mr. Falcon has business in London which requires his immediate presence, so we must submit to our hard fate. The Shycocks are looking out for a small house for us somewhere near St. John's Wood, or the Bayswater-road; but if you should hear of any thing (quite perfect) that would suit us elsewhere in the cottage-style, you know, with just one coach-house, or without one (we have no horses just now)-pray do let us know before you leave town. I am perfectly ashamed to put you to this trouble, dear Mrs. Freeman, but you are always goodness itself to us, and I know you will excuse, 66 Yours, with a thousand loves, "P.S. How are your dear sweet girls?—should we not succeed in getting a house, would it be too unreasonable to beg of you, if perfectly convenient, to allow Mr. Falcon and me (nobody else), to sleep a night or two in Harley-street, until we suit ourselves? Any hole or corner would answer us. But if it would put you to the slightest trouble it would make us all perfectly wretched. Remember to inquire at Plymouth for Dr. Pinch; he performs miracles by just throwing a grain of some wonderful powder into the sea, just before his patients bathe; he calls it pathetic mesmerism, or something like that. "To Mrs. Freeman, Harley-street, London." The lady to whom this familiar and elegant epistle was addressed, was not at all deficient in simplicity; but, nevertheless, she comprehended its drift the instant she read it. She knew that Mrs. Falcon had no more intention of taking a house in town than Queen Pomare had, and understood the request in the postscript as a distinct announcement, on the part of the Falcon family, of their resolution to quarter themselves in Harley-street, rent-free, for the summer months. "I suppose we must submit, my dear?" said Mrs. Freeman to her husband, looking, as she spoke, the very picture of abused good-nature. "I suppose so," said Mr. Freeman, with the half peevish, half indifferent air of a poco-curante invalid. "I'll certainly try Dr. Pinch." "But it is provoking, just now, when every thing is laid up; the carpets off, the curtains down; no servants -no coals." So much the better," said Mr. Freeman. "As there will be only Mr. and Mrs. Falcon, I suppose I need not lock up the bronzes and alabasters?" said the lady. "No necessity," said the gentleman. "I wish I had heard of Dr. Pinch before." "They must be very poor, my dear," resumed Mrs. Freeman, beginning to think more of the inconveniences the Falcons would be subjected to, than of those to which their visitation would occasion herself. Mr. Freeman shook his head, took an infinitesimal pill, medicine enough for an infinitesimal disorder, and made no answer but an infinitesimal grunt. "Have they any thing at all, my dear?" "Falcon has generally some little agency, or temporary employment.” "To be sure," said Mrs. Freeman, "they must live for almost nothing." Mr. Freeman took a second homoeopathic pill, gave a second homœopathic grunt, and said, "They save house-rent, servants' wages, poor's-rates, assessed taxes. People always do by living in other people's houses. But it was thoughtful of Mrs. Falcon to mention Dr. Pinch." At this point of the conjugal dialogue Mrs. Freeman's brother, Dick Chatworth, a spruce, chirping, middle-aged bachelor, smartly dressed, with a profusion of jewellery, dropped in, and laughed heartily when he heard of the threatened invasion of the Falcons. "You know the Falcons, Dick?" said his sister. "Know them! to be sure I do-by reputation. Every body knows them, and most people to their cost; they call Falcon the 'Red Rover,' and the lady goes by the name of 'The Gipsy.' "She's a brunette," said Mr. Freeman. "She has all the gipsy peculiarities: the brown complexion, the vagrant habits, and the loose morality: she's Egyptian all over; a handsome strolling beggar; and she speaks such delicious French! But have you answered her letter, Elizabeth?-take care what you do!" 66 Why, we can't refuse, Dick, they are such friends of the Bompases." "Friends of the Bompases!-the Bompases have the greatest horror of them. All I say is, take care Mrs. Falcon is not in a certain interesting situation!" "Good Heaven! is it possible she wants to be confined here?" "She managed to be confined at the Rev. Dr. Hobart's, in Dover-street, a few years ago, to my own knowledge; so look sharp, Elizabeth-take a friend's advice." "I should have to pay for the straw," said Mr. Free man. “Poor Hobart paid the doctor, and 'faith, I believe, he also paid for the cradle. Besides, he was forced to stay at the 'Blenheim,' in Bond-street, for two months I used to dine with him there." "Well-if ever!" exclaimed Mrs. Freeman, with uplifted hands. 66 "How did Hobart stand it?" inquired Mr. Freeman. Wonderfully. At the same time he did not quite like it—a bachelor and a clergyman, you know-people made remarks when they saw the outward and visible signs of an accouchement at his house; but what he thought worst of was being obliged to stand godfather to the gipsy's brat, and present the nurse with a guinea. To be sure, Mrs. Falcon was very grateful: the child was christened Hobart!" People like the Hobarts and Freemans are as necessary to people like the Falcons as argosies are to corsairs, or caravans to Arabian banditti. Your easy, goodnatured people are the correlatives of spunges and landpirates. Good temper, generosity, and facility of disposition are frequently expensive accomplishments; and no man ought to start in life with them, any more than set up his coach, without a careful examination of the state of his finances. Mrs. Freeman could not bring herself to disoblige friends of the Bompases; however, she made inquiries |