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I MADE a shift, however, to recover both myself and horse; and, after a few more difficulties, arrived at I have since made strict

the end of my journey. inquiry into the due application of such inferior titles, and may, perhaps, communicate them to you, on some future occasion. In the mean time, you may, if you please, consider the vast importance of superior titles, when there is no one so inconsiderable but there is also a mind that it can influence.

who,

WHEN you reflect upon this subject, you will, perhaps, be less severe on your friend you tell me, is now trafficking for this species of dignity.

LEARN to be wise then from others' harm; and do not forget to observe decorum, on every occasion that you may have to address him for the future. Pretend no more at the close of your epistle to be his faithful servant, much less his affectionate one. Tender your services with great respect, if you do not choose to do it with profound veneration. He will certainly have no more to do with sincerity and truth. Remember,

Malè si palpere, recalcitrat.

ON

H

ON MODESTY AND IMPUDENCE.

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W

HEN a man of genius does not print, he discovers himself by nothing more than by his abilities in dispute. However,

let him shew solidity in his opinions, together with ease, elegance, and vivacity in his expressions; yet if an impudent face be found to baffle him, he shall be judged inferior in other respects. I mean, he will grow cheap in mixed company for as to select judges, they will form their opinions by another scale: with these, a single epistle, penned with propriety, will more effectually prove his wit, than a hundred defects in his conversation will demonstrate the reverse,

'Tis true, there is nothing displays a genius, I mean a quickness of genius, more than a dispute; as two diamonds, encountering, contribute to each other's lustre. But perhaps the odds is much against the man of taste in this particular.

BASH

BASHFULNESS is more frequently connected with good sense, than we find assurance: and impudence, on the other hand, is often the mere effect of downright stupidity. On this account, the man of genius has as much the advantage of his antagonists, as a race-horse, carrying a small weight, has over his rival that bears a larger modesty, like the weight to which I allude, not suffering its owner to exert his real strength; which effrontery is allowed to do, without let or impediment.

IT may be urged, and justly enough, that 'tis common to be partial to the modest man; and that diffidence makes good amends for any restraint it lays us under, by the prejudice it gives every hearer in our favour. But indeed this can only happen, where it meets with the most ingenuous judges. Otherwise a laugh will carry the day, with which the ignorant side is generally best accommodated.

IN order to put these antagonists upon a somewhat more equal footing, I have invented the following instrument; for the sole structure and sale of which, I am not without hopes of procuring a patent. What I mean

I mean, is an artificial laugher. There are few so little conversant in toys, but must have seen instruments mechanically framed to counterfeit the voices of different birds. The quail-pipe is brought to such perfection as even to delude the very species. The cuckoo has been mimicked with no less accuracy. Would it not then be an easy matter to represent the laugh of this empty tribe, which has in itself something artificial; and is not more affected than it is particular? For the convenience of the person that bears it, it's dimensions should be so contrived as that it might be played on in his pocket. Does it not seem feasible, that a laugher of this kind may be brought to answer every purpose of that noise which it resembles? If there be occasion for an expletive, let the owner seek it in his fob; as his antagonist would find his account in a loud oath or an empty pun. If there be need of a good sounding cadence at the close of a common period, it may not be amiss to harmonize a sentence by what may be called a finishing stroke. This instrument is so contrived as to produce all the variety of a human laugh; and this variation is to be regulated, not by the nature of your subject, nor the wit or humour of a repartee, but by the disposition of

the

the company, and the proper minute for such an interlude. But to become a master of the said machine, let the candidate for applause frequent the company of vociferous disputants; among whom he may soon learn how to perform a conversation.

ONE or two of these instruments I have already finished, though not indeed to the perfection at which I expect they may soon arrive. A gentleman visited me t'other day, who has the justest claim that can be, to the use of them; having nothing in his character that can obscure the greatest merit, but the greatest modesty. I communicated my invention, desiring him to make trial of it, on the first occasion. He did so; and when I saw him next, gave me leave to publish the following account of its efficacy in my next advertisement. The first time I employed it, said my friend, was in a sort of controversy with a beau; who had contrived means, by the use of his snuff-box, to supply both want of language and of thought. In this manner he prolonged his argument ; and really to the company, which consisted of ladies, discovered more sagacity without thinking, than I could do by its assistance. I bethought myself im

me

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