They'll find, i' th' phyfiognomies
O' th' planets, all men's deftinies.
Like him that took the doctor's bill,
And swallow'd it instead o' th' pill.
625 Caft the nativity o' th' question,
And from pofitions to be gueft on,
As fure as if they knew the moment
Of native's birth, tell what will come on't.
They'll feel the pulfes of the stars,
610 To find out agues, coughs, catarrhs;
And tell what crisis does divine
The rot in fheep, or mange in fwine;
In men, what gives or cures the itch,
What makes them cuckolds, poor or rich:
615 What gains or loses, hangs or faves;
What makes men great, what fools or knaves.
But not what wife, for only of those
The stars, they say, cannot difpofe,
No more than can the aftrologians.
620 There they fay right, and like true Trojans.
This Ralpho knew, and therefore took
The other course, of which we fpoke.
Thus was th' accomplish'd fquire endu'd With gifts and knowlege, per'lous fhrewd. 625 Never did trufty fquire with knight,
Or knight with fquire e'er jump more right.
Their arms and equipage did fit,
As well as virtues, parts, and wit:
Their valours too were of a rate,
630 And out they fally'd at the gate:
Few miles on horfeback had they jogged,
But fortune unto them turn'd dogged,
For they a fad adventure met,
Of which anon we mean to treat; 635 But ere we venture to unfold
Atchievements fo refolv❜d and bold,
We should, as learned poets ufe,
Invoke th' affistance of some Muse;
However critics count it fillier
640 Than jugglers talking to familiar:
We think 'tis no great matter which,
They're all alike, yet we fhall pitch
On one that fits our purpose most,'
Whom therefore thus do we accoft.
Thou that with ale, or viler liquors,
Didst inspire Withers, Pryn, and Vickars,
And force them, though it was in spite
Of nature, and their ftars, to write;
Who, as we find in fullen writs,
650 And cross-grain'd works of modern wits,
With vanity, opinion, want,
The wonder of the ignorant,
The praifes of the author, penn'd
B' himself, or wit-infuring friend;
655 The itch of picture in the front,
With bays and wicked rhyme upon't.
645 Thou that with ale, or viler liquors,
Didft infpire Withers, Pryn, and Vickars.
This Vickars was a man of as great intereft and authority in the late reformation, as Pryn, or Withers, and as able a poet: He tranflated Virgil's Æneids into as horrible Travesty, in earnest, as the French Scaroon did in burlesque, and was only out-done in his way by the politique author of Oceana.
All that is left o' th' forked hill,
To make men fcribble without skill;
Canft make a poet, fpite of fate,
660 And teach all people to tranflate;
Though out of languages, in which
They understand no part of speech:
Affift me but this once, I'mplore,
And I fhall trouble thee no more.
In western clime there is a town,
To thofe that dwell therein well known,
Therefore there needs no more be faid here,
We unto them refer our reader :
For brevity is very good,
670 When w' are or are not understood. To this town people did repair
On days of market, or of fair ;
And to crack'd fiddle, and hoarfe tabor,
In merriment did drudge and labour :
675 But now a sport more formidable
Had rak'd together village rabble;
'Twas an old way of recreating,
Which learned butchers call bear-beating.
A bold advent'rous exercise,
680 With ancient heroes in high prize :
For authors do affirm it came
From Ifthmian or Nemean game.
Others derive it from the bear
That's fix'd in northern hemifphere,
685 And round about the pole does make
A circle like a bear at stake:
That at the chain's end wheels about,
And over-turns the rabble-rout;
For after folemn proclamation
690 In the bear's name, (as is the fashion
According to the law of arms,
To keep men from inglorious harms)
That none prefume to come fo near
As forty foot of stake of bear;
695 If any yet be fo fool-hardy,
T'expofe themselves to vain jeopardy;
If they come wounded off, and lame,
No honour's got by fuch a maim,
Although the bear gain much, b'ing bound
700 In honour to make good his ground,
When he's engag'd, and takes no notice,
If any prefs upon him, who 'tis ;
But lets them know, at their own cost,
That he intends to keep his post.
705 This to prevent, and other harms,
Which always wait on feats of arms,
(For in the hurry of a fray,
'Tis hard to keep out of harm's way) Thither the Knight his courfe did steer, 710 To keep the peace 'twixt dog and bear; As he believ'd he was bound to do In confcience and commiffion too, And therefore thus bespoke the fquire; We that are wifely mounted higher
715 Than conftables in curule wit, When on tribunal bench we fit,
714 We that are, etc.] This fpeech is fet down, as it was delivered by the knight, in his own words: but fince it is below the gravity of heroical poetry to admit of humour, but all men are obliged to speak wifely alike, and too much of fo extravagant a folly would become tedious and impertinent; the rest of his harangues have only his sense expreffed, in other words, unless in some few places, where his own words could not be fo well avoided.
Like fpeculators should foresee, From Pharos of authority, Portended mischiefs farther than 720 Low Proletarian tything-men.
And therefore being inform'd by bruit That dog and bear are to difpute; For fo of late men fighting name, Because they often prove the fame : 725 (For where the first does hap to be, The laft does coincidere ;)
Quantum in nobis, have thought good, To fave th' expence of Chriftian blood, And try if we by mediation 730 Of treaty and accommodation,
Can end the quarrel, and compofe
The bloody duel, without blows.
Are not our liberties, our lives,
The laws, religion, and our wives,
735 Enough at once to lie at stake
For cov'nant and the caufe's fake?
But in that quarrel dogs and bears,
As well as we, must venture theirs?
This feud by Jefuites invented,
740 By evil counsel, is fomented;
There is a Machiavilian plot,
(Though ev'ry Nare olfact it not)
A deep defign in't to divide
The well-affected that confide,
745 By fetting brother against brother,
To claw and curry one another.
Have we not enemies plus fatis,
That cane et angue pejus hate us?
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