PURGANAX (his heart is seen to beat through his waistcoat)

Purganax has plainly shown a

Cloven foot and jackdaw feather.

SEMICHORUS II

I vote Swellfoot and Iona
Try the magic test together;
Whenever royal spouses bicker,
Both should try the magic liquor.

AN OLD BOAR (aside)

A miserable state is that of Pigs,

For if their drivers would tear caps and

wigs,

The Swine must bite each other's ear therefor.

AN OLD SOW (aside)

A wretched lot Jove has assigned to Swine, Squabbling makes Pig-herds hungry, and they

dine

On bacon, and whip sucking Pigs the more.

CHORUS

Hog-wash has been ta'en away;
If the Bull-Queen is divested,
We shall be in every way

Hunted, stripped, exposed, molested;

Let us do whate'er we may,

That she shall not be arrested.

Queen, we entrench you with walls of brawn,

And palisades of tusks, sharp as a bayonet. Place your most Sacred Person here. We pawn Our lives that none a finger dare to lay on it.

Those who wrong you, wrong us ;

Those who hate you,

hate us;

Those who sting you, sting us;
bait us;

Those who bait you,

The oracle is now about to be

Fulfilled by circumvolving destiny,

Which says: "Thebes, choose reform or civil war, When through your streets, instead of hare with dogs,

A Consort-Queen shall hunt a King with hogs, Riding upon the Ionian Minotaur."

Enter IONA TAURINA

IONA TAURINA (coming forward)

Gentlemen Swine, and gentle Lady-Pigs,
The tender heart of every Boar acquits
Their Queen of any act incongruous
With native Piggishness, and she reposing
With confidence upon the grunting nation,
Has thrown herself, her cause, her life, her all,
Her innocence, into their Hoggish arms;

Nor has the expectation been deceived

Of finding shelter there. Yet know, great Boars, (For such whoever lives among you finds you, And so do I) the innocent are proud!

I have accepted your protection only
In compliment of your kind love and care,
Not for necessity. The innocent

Are safest there where trials and dangers wait;

Innocent queens o'er white-hot ploughshares tread
Unsinged; and ladies, Erin's laureate sings it,
Decked with rare gems, and beauty rarer still,
Walked from Killarney to the Giant's Causeway
Through rebels, smugglers, troops of yeomanry,
White-boys, and Orange-boys, and constables,
Tithe-proctors, and excise people, uninjured!
Thus I!-

Lord Purganax, I do commit myself
Into your custody, and am prepared
To stand the test, whatever it may be!

PURGANAX

This magnanimity in your sacred Majesty
Must please the Pigs. You cannot fail of being
A heavenly angel. Smoke your bits of glass,
Ye loyal Swine, or her transfiguration

Will blind your wondering eyes.

AN OLD BOAR (aside)

They do not smoke you first.

Take care, my Lord,

PURGANAX

At the approaching feast

Of Famine let the expiation be.

SWINE

Content! content!

IONA TAURINA (aside)

I, most content of all,
thus prepare their fall!
[Exeunt omnes.

foes even

SCENE II. The interior of the Temple of Famine. The statue of the Goddess, a skeleton clothed in party-colored rags, seated upon a heap of skulls and loaves intermingled. A number of exceedingly fat Priests in black garments arrayed on each side, with marrow-bones and cleavers in their hands. A flourish of trumpets.

Enter MAMMON as Arch-priest, SwELLFOOT, DAKRY, PURGANAX, LAOCTONOS, followed by IONA TAURINA guarded. On the other side enter the Swine.

CHORUS OF PRIESTS (accompanied by the Court Porkman on marrow-bones and cleavers)

Goddess bare, and gaunt, and pale,

Empress of the world, all hail!

What though Cretans old called thee

City-crested Cybele?

We call thee Famine!

Goddess of fasts and feasts, starving and cram

ming;

Through thee, for emperors, kings and priests and

lords,

Who rule by viziers, sceptres, bank-notes, words, The earth pours forth its plenteous fruits, Corn, wool, linen, flesh, and roots.

Those who consume these fruits through thee grow fat,

Those who produce these fruits through thee grow lean,

Whatever change takes place, oh, stick to that,

And let things be as they have ever been;
At least while we remain thy priests,
And proclaim thy fasts and feasts!

Through thee the sacred Swellfoot dynasty

Is based upon a rock amid that sea

Whose waves are Swine

so let it ever be!

[SWELLFOOT, etc., seat themselves at a table, magnificently covered, at the upper end of the temple. Attendants pass over the stage with hog-wash in pails. A number of Pigs, exceedingly lean, follow them, licking up the wash.

MAMMON

I fear your sacred Majesty has lost

The appetite which you were used to have.
Allow me now to recommend this dish

A simple kickshaw by your Persian cook,
Such as is served at the great King's second table.
The price and pains which its ingredients cost
Might have maintained some dozen families

A winter or two not more

Could scarcely disagree.

so plain a dish

SWELLFOOT

After the trial,

And these fastidious Pigs are gone, perhaps

I may recover my lost appetite.

I feel the gout flying about my stomach;
Give me a glass of Maraschino punch.

PURGANAX (filling his glass, and standing up) The glorious constitution of the Pigs!

ALL

A toast! a toast! stand up, and three times three!

DAKRY

No heel-taps- darken day-lights!