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XXXIX. A fox-hunt to a foreigner is strange;
Chaste were his steps, each kept within due bound, 'T is also subject to the double danger
And elegance was sprinkled o'er his figure; Of tumbling first, and having in exchange
Like swift Camilla, he scarce skimm'd the ground, Some pleasant jesting at the awkward stranger ; And rather held in than put forth his vigour : But Juan had been early taught to range,
And then he had an ear for music's sound, The wilds, as doth an Arab turn d avenger,
Which might defy a crotchel-critic's rigour. So that his horse, or charger, hunter, hack,
Such classic passans flaws--set off our hero,
He glanced like a personified bolero;
Or, like a flying hour before Aurora,
Remnant were there of the old world's sole throne. He broke, 't is true, some statutes of the laws
The « tout ensemble» of his movements wore a Of hunting-for the sagest youth is frail;
Grace of the soft ideal, seldom shown,
Of bards and prosers, words are void of colour.
No marvel then he was a favourite;
A full-grown Cupid, very much admired; The boors cried « Dang it! who'd have thought itin-| A little spoil'd, but by no means so quite ; Sires,
At least he kept his vanity retired, The Nestors of the sporting generation,
Such was his tact, he could alike delight Swore praises, and recall'd their former fires;
The chaste, and those who are not so much inspired. The huntsman's self relented to a grin,
The Duchess of Fitz-Fulke, who loved « tracasserie, And rated him almost a whipper-in.
Began to treat him with some small a agacerie.»
But leaps, and bursts, and sometimes foxes' brushes; Desirable, distinguish'd, celebrated
For several winters in the grand, grand monde. To patriot sympathy a Briton's blushes,
I'd rather not say what might be related He thought at heart like courtly Chesterfield,
Of her exploits, for this were ticklish ground; Who, after a long chase o'er bills, dales, bushes, Besides there might be falsehood in what's stated : And what not, though he rode beyond all price, Her late performance had been a dead set Ask’d, next day, «if men ever hunted twice ?» At Lord Augustus Fitz-Plantagenet. XXXVI.
XLIJI. He also had a quality uncommon
This noble personage began to look To early risers after a long chase,
A little black upon this new flirtation; Who wake in winter ere the cock can summon But such small licenses must lovers brook, December's drowsy day to his dull race,
Mere freedoms of the female corporation. A quality agreeable to woman,
Woe to the man who ventures a rebuke! When her soft liquid words run on apace,
'I will but precipitate a situation Who likes a listener, whether saint or sinner,– Extremely disagreeable, but common He did not fall asleep just after dinner.
To calculators when they count on woman.
The circle smiled, then whisper'd, and then sneerd; And shone in the best part of dialogue,
The Misses bridled, and the matrons frown'd; By humouring always what they might assert, Some hoped things might not turn out as they feard; And listening to the topics most in vogue:
Some would not deem such women could be found; Now grave, now gay, but never dull or pert;
Some ne'er believed one half of what they heard; Apd smiling but in secret.--cupung rogue!
Some look'd perplexd, and others look'd profound ; He ne'er presumed to make an error clearer;
And several pitied with sincere regret
Poor Lord Augustus Fiuz-Plantagenet.
But, what is odd, pone ever named the duke, The serious Angles in the eloquence
Who, one might think, was something in the affair. of pantomime,-he dauced, I say, right well, True, he was absent, and, 't was rumour'd, took With emphasis, and also with good sense
But small concern about the when, or where, A thing in footing indispensable:
Or what his consort did : if he could brook He danced without theatrical pretepce,
Her gaieties, none had a right to stare: Not like a ballet-master in the van
Theirs was that best of unions, past all doubt, Of his drill'd nymphs, but like a gentleman.
Which pever meets, and therefore can't fall out.
Fired with an abstract love of virtue, she,
Began to think the duchess' conduct free;
And, waxing chiller in her courtesy,
"T is so becoming to the soul and face; Sets to soft music the harmonious sigh,
And robes sweet friendship in a Brussels lace. Without a friend, what were humanity,
To hunt our errors up with a good grace? Consoling us with—« Would you had thought iwice! All if you had but follow'd my advice!»
Especially when we are ill at case;
Doctors less famous for their cures than fees.
As they will do like leaves at the first breeze : When your affairs come round, one way or t'other, Go to the coffee-house, and take another."
Some heart-aches had been spared me; yet I care potI would not be a tortoise in his screen
Of stublorn shell, which waves and weather wear not. 'T is better on the whole to have felt and seen
That which bumanity may bear, or bear not:
Saddler than owl-songs or the midnight blast,
l'iter'd by friends, those prophets of the past, Who, 'stead of saying, what you now should do,
Own they foresaw that you would fall at last,
Was not confined to feeling for her friend,
Unless her habits should begin to mend;
But mix'd with pity, pure as c'er was penn'd:
And hers were those which can face calculation,
And noble births, nor dread the enumerationGave her a right to have materval fears
For a young gendeman's fit education, Though she was far from that Icap-year, whose leap, In female dates, strikes time all of a leap.
Say seven-and-twenty; fur I never koew
Advance beyond, while they could pass for new. Oh, time! why dost not pause! Thy scythe, so dirty
With rust, should surely cease to hack and hew.
Whose ripeness is but bitter at the best :
For she had seen the world, and stood its test, As I have said in--I forget what page;
My Muse despises reference, as you have guess'd By this time;- but strike six from seven-and-twenty, And you will find her sum of years in plenty.
She put all coronels into commotion :
With the new Venus of their brilliant ocean:
A hecatomb of suitors with devotion,
winters, Admired, adored; but also so correct, That she had puzzled all the acutest hinters,
Without the apparel of being circumspect;
From off the marble, which had no defect.
Those little plitterers of the London night;
She was a pitch beyond a coxcomb's flighi. i'erlaps she wislıd an aspirant profounder ;
But, whatsoe'er she wishid, she acted right;
Which with the landlord makes too long a stand,
Especially with politics on hand;
Who wluirl the dust as simooms whirl the sand;
They are so much intertwisted with the earth :
I reck not if an acorn gave it birth.
Would make indeed some melancholy mirth:
Both to the duchess and diplomatist,
That Juan was unlikely to resist -
In England ranks quite on a different list
Such measures as she thought might best impede The furiber progress of this sad mistake.
She thought with some simplicity indeed; But innocence is bold even at the stake,
And simple in the world, and doth not need
His grace was an enduring, married man,
Toto a scene, and swell the clients' clan
The magic of her grace's talisman,
And somewhat méchante in her amorous sphere ; One of those pretty, precious plagues, which haunt
A lover with caprices soft and dear,
Find one, each day of the delightful year;
Or make a Werter of him in the end.
This sort of chaste liaison for a friend;
Than wear a heart a woman loves to rend.
Which really knew or thought it knew no guile, Sbe call'd her husband now and then apart,
And bade him counsel Juan. With a smile
To wean Don Juan from the siren's wile;
In any body's business but the king's:»
Without strong reasou, of those sorts of things:» Thirdly, that « Juan bad more brain than beard,
Apd was not to be held in leading-strings;» And fourthly, what need hardly be said twice, « That good but rarely came from good advice.»
Of the last axiom, he advised his spouse
At least as far as bienséance allows:
That young men rarely made monastic vows;
Lord Henry walk d into his cabinet,
To tell how he reduced the nation's debt; And if their full contents I do not give ye,
It is because I do not know them yet,
Another gentle common-place or two,
for want of better, though not new: Then, broke his packet, to see what was in 't,
And having casually glanced it through,
Proud of his birth, and proud of every thing:
A figure fit to walk before a king;
On birth-days, glorious with a star and string;
I dont know what, and therefore cannot tellWhich prelly women--the sweet souls!--call soul.
C'ertes it was not body; he was well Proportion'd, as a poplar or a pole,
A handsome man, that human miracle;
That undefinable « je ne sais quoi,»
Though on the whole, no doubt, the Dardan boy Was much inferior to King Menelaus, But thus it is some women will betray us.
Unless like wise Tiresias we had proved
Neither can show quite how they would be loved. The sensual for a short time but connects us
The sentimental boasts to be unmoved; But both together form a kind of centaur, Upon whose back 't is better not to venture.
LXXXI. A something all-sufficient for the heart
An oyster may be cross'd in love,»--and why? Is that for which the sex are always seeking;
Because he mopeth idly in his shell,
And heaves a lonely subterraqueous sigh,
And à propos of monks, their piety They run before the wiod through high seas breaking:
With sloch hath found it difficult to dwell;
Are apt exceedingly to run to seed.
Oh, Wilberforce! thou man of black renown,
Thou hast struck one immense colossus down,
Thou moral Washington of Africa! If, in my extremity of rhyme's distress,
But there's another lilile thing, I own, I touch a single leaf where he is warden;
Which you should perpetrate some summer's day, But though the flower is different, with the French And set the other half of earth to rights: Or Swiss Rousseau, cry, « voila la pervenche ! » You have freed the blacks-now pray shut up the whites. LXXVI.
LXXXIII. Eureka! I have found it! What I mean
the bald-coot bully Alexander; To say is, not that love is idleness,
Ship off the holy three to Senegal; But that in love such idleness has been
Teach them that « sauce for goose is sauce for gander, An accessory, as I have cause to guess.
And ask them how they like to be in thrall. Hard labour 's an indifferent fo-between ;
Shut up each luigh heroic salamander, Your men of business are not apt to express
Who cats fire gratis (since the pay's but small); Muchi passion, since the merchant-ship, the Argo, Shut up-no, not the king, but the pavilion, Convey'd Medea as her supercargo.
Or else 't will cost us all another million.
LXXXIV. « Beatus ille procul » from « negotiis,»
Shut up the world at large; let Bedlam out, Saith Horace; the great little poet 's wrong;
you will be perhaps surprised to find llis other maxim, « Noscitur a sociis,»
All things pursue exactly the same route, Is much more to the purpose of liis song;
As now with those of soi-disant sound mind. Though even that were sometimes too ferocious, This I could prove beyond a single doubi, Unless good company he kept too long;
Were there a jot of sense among mankind; But, in his tecth, whate'er their state or station,
But till that point d'appui is found, alas!
Like Archimedes, I leave earth as 't was.
Our gentle Adeline had one defectEve made up millinery withi fig-leaves-
Her heart was vacant, though a splendid mansion ; The earliest knowledge from the tree so knowing, Her conduct had been perfectly correct, As far as I kuow, that the church receives :
As she had seen nought claiming its expansion. And since that time it need not cost much showing, I wavering spirit may be easier wreck'd, That many of the ills o'er which man grieves,
Because 't is frailer, doubtless, than a stauch one; And still more women, spring from not employing But when the latter works its own undoing, Some hours to make the remnant worth enjoying. Jis inner crash is like an earthquake's ruin. LXXIX.
LIXIVI. And hence liigh life is oft a dreary void,
Sue loved her lord, or thought so; but that love A rack of pleasures, where we must invent
Cost her an effort, which is a sad toil, A something wherewithal to be annoy'd.
The stone of Sysiplius, if once we move Bards may sing what they please about content; Our feelings painst the nature of the soil. Contented, when translated, means but cloy'd;
She had nothing to complain of, or reprove, And hence arise the woes of septiment,
No bickerings, no connubial turmoil: Blue devils, and blue-stockings, and romances
Their union was a model to behold, Reduced to practice, and perform'd like dances. Sereue and noble,-conjugal but cold. LXXX.
LXXXVII. I do declare, upor au affidavit,
There was no great disparity of years, Romances I ne'er read like those I have seen;
Though much in temper; but they never clashd: Nor, if unto the world I ever gave it,
They moved like stars united in their spheres, Would some believe that such a tale had been:
Or like thie Rhone by Leman's waters wash'd, But such intent I never had, nor have it ;
Where mingled and yet separate appears Some truths are better kept behind a screen,
The river from the lake, all bluely dash'd Especially when they would look like lies;
Through the serene and placid glassy deep, I therefore deal in generalities.
Which fain would lull its river-child to sleep.
XCV. Now, when she once had ta'en an interest
Alas! by all experience, seldom yet In any thing, however she might flatter
(I merely quo.e what I have heard from many) Herself that her intentions were the best,
Had lovers not some reason to regret Intense intentions are a dangerous matter:
The passion which made Solomon a zany. Impressions were much stronger than she guess'd, I've also seen some wives (not to forget
And gather'd as they run, like growing water, The marriage state, the best or worst of any) Upon her mind; the more so, as her breast
Who were the very paragons of wives,
Yet made the misery of at least two lives.
I've also seen some female friends ('t is odd, Of double nature, and thus doubly named
But true--as, if expedient, I could prove) Firmness yclept in heroes, kings, and seamen,
That fai:bful were, through thick and thin, abroad, That is, when they succeed; but greatly blamed At home, far more than ever yet was loveAs obstinacy, both in men and women,
Who did not quit me when oppression trod Whene'er their triumph pales, or star is tamed:- l'pon me; whom no scandal could remove; And I will perplex the casuists in morality,
Who fought, and fight, in absence too, my battles, To fix the due bounds of this dangerous quality. Despite the snake society's loud rattles. XC.
XCVII. Had Bonaparte won at Waterloo,
Whether Don Juan and chaste Adeline It had been firmness; now 't is pertinacity:
Grew friends in this or any other sense, Must the event decide between the two?
Will be discussid hereafter, I opine: I leave it to your people of sagacity
Al present I am glad of a pretence To draw the line between the false and true,
To leave them hovering, as the effect is fine, If such can e'er be drawn by man's capacity:
And keeps the atrocious reader in suspense; My business is with Lady Adeline,
The surest way for ladies and for books
To bait their tender or their tenter-hooks.
To read Don Quixote in the original, If so, she would have had the strength to fly
A pleasure before which all others vanish; The wild sensation, unto her a new one:
Whether their talk was of the kind call d « small, » She merely felt a common sympathy
Or serious, are the topics which I must banish (I will not say it was a false or true one)
To the next canto; where, perhaps, I shall
Anticipating aught about the matter:
They 'll only make mistakes about the fair,
And I shall take a much more serious air
Than I have yet done in this epic satire,
Will fall; but if they do, 'l will be their ruin.
But great things spring from little:-would you think, Will there, as also in the ties of blood,
That, in our youth, as dangerous a passion An innocent predominance annex,
As e'er brought man and woman to the brink
Of ruio, rose from such a slight occasion
Of such a sentimental situation ?
You 'll never guess, I 'll bet you millions, milliards So that you have not been nor will be lovers.
It all sprung from a harmless game at billiards.
“T is strange-but true; for truth is always strange, Of change; and how should this be ouberwise? Stranger than fiction: if it could be told, That violent things more quickly find a term
How much would novels gain by the exchange! Is shown through nature's wbole analogies :
How differently the world would men behold! And how should the most fierce of all be firm?
llow oft would vice and virtue places change! Would
The new world would be nothing to the old, have endless lightning in the skies?
If some Columbus of the moral seas