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Ant. Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
and stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
Within this hour it will be dinner-time:
till that, I'll view the manners of the town,
peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
and then return, and sleep within mine inn;
for with long travel I am stiff and weary.
Get thee away.

Dro. Many a man would take you at your word,
and go indeed, having so good a mean.
Ant. A trusty villain, sir; that very oft,

when I am dull with care and melancholy, lightens my humour with his merry jests. What, will you walk with me about the town, and then go to my inn, and dine with me? Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, of whom I hope to make much benefit; I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock, please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart, and afterwards consort you till bed-time; my present business calls me from you now. Ant. Farewell till then: I will go lose myself, and wander up and down to view the city.

1465

7. I

HONESTY

JAFFIER-PIERRE

W. SHAKESPEARE

'M thinking Pierre, how that damned starving quality called Honesty, got footing in the world.

P. Why, powerful villany first set it up

for its own ease and safety: honest men
are the soft easy cushions, on which knaves
repose and fatten; were all mankind villains,

they'd starve each other; lawyers would want practice;
cut-throats rewards; each man would kill his brother
himself; none would be paid or hanged for murder:
Honesty! 'twas a cheat invented first

to bind the hands of bold deserving rogues,
that fools and cowards might sit safe in power,
and lord it uncontrolled above their betters.

7. Then honesty is but a notion?

P. Nothing else,

like wit much talked of, not to be defined:

F. S. III

38

he that pretends to most has least share in it:
'tis a ragged virtue. Honesty! no more on't.

7. Sure thou art honest?

P. So indeed men think me.

- 1466

Fal.

but they are mistaken, Jaffier; I am a rogue
as well as they;

a fine gay bold-fac'd villain, as thou see'st me.
'Tis true, I pay my debts when they're contracted;
I steal from no man; would not cut a throat

to gain admission to a great man's purse:

I'd not betray a friend: I'd scorn to flatter

a blown-up fool above me, or crush the wretch beneath me:

yet, Jaffier, for all this I am a villain.

I

-FALSTAFF-BARDOLPH

T. OTWAY

WOULD, you had but the wit; 'twere better than your dukedom.-Good faith, this same young soberblooded boy doth not love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel, he drinks no wine. There's never any of these demure boys come to any proof: for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, and making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and then, when they marry, they get wenches: they are generally fools and cowards;— which some of us should be too, but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish, and dull, and crudy vapours which environ it: makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voice, (the tongue,) which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the blood; which, before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice: but the sherris warms it, and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme. It illumineth the face; which, as a beacon, gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm: and then the vital commoners, and inland petty spirits, muster me all to their captain, the heart; who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage; and this valour comes of

sherris: So that skill in the weapon is nothing, without
sack: for that sets it a-work; and learning, a mere
hoard of gold kept by a devil; till sack commences it,
and sets it in act and use. Hereof comes it, that prince
Harry is valiant: for the cold blood he did naturally
inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, steril, and bare
land, manured, husbanded, and tilled, with excellent
endeavour of drinking good, and good store of fertile
sherris ;
that he is become very hot, and valiant. If I
had a thousand sons, the first human principle I would
teach them, should be,--to forswear thin potations, and
addict themselves to sack.

How now, Bardolph?

Bar. The army is discharged all, and gone.

Fal. Let them go. I'll through Glostershire; and there will I visit master Robert Shallow, esquire: I have him already tempering between my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with him.

W. SHAKESPEARE

1467 GEORGE BEVIS-JOHN HOLLAND-CADE-DICK

Geo.

COME

SMITH

'OME, and get thee a sword, though made of a lath; they have been up these two days.

Joh. They have the more need to sleep now then. Geo. I tell thee, Jack Cade the clothier means to dress the commonwealth, and turn it, and set a new nap upon it. Joh. So he had need, for 'tis threadbare. Well, I say it was never merry world in England, since gentlemen came up.

Geo. O miserable age! Virtue is not regarded in handycrafts-men.

Joh. The nobility think scorn to go in leather aprons.
Geo. Nay more, the king's council are no good workmen.
Joh. True: and yet it is said,—Labour in thy vocation:

which is as much to say, as,-let the magistrates be labouring men: and therefore should we be magistrates. Geo. Thou hast hit it: for there's no better sign of a brave mind, than a hard hand.

Joh. I see them! I see them! There's Best's son, the tanner of Wingham ;

Geo. He shall have the skins of our enemies, to make dog's

leather of.

Joh. And Dick the butcher,

Geo. Then is sin struck down like an ox, and iniquity's

throat cut like a calf.

Joh. And Smith the weaver:

Geo. Argo, their thread of life is spun.

Joh. Come, come, let's fall in with them.

Cad. We John Cade, so term'd of our supposed father,

Dic. Or rather, of stealing a cade of herrings.

Cad. for our enemies shall fall before us, inspired with the spirit of putting down kings and princes, Command silence.

Dic. Silence!

Cad. My father was a Mortimer,

Dic. He was an honest man, and a good bricklayer.

Cad. My mother a Plantagenet,—

Dic. I knew her well, she was a midwife.

Cad. My wife descended of the Lacies,

Dic. She was, indeed, a pedlar's daughter, and sold many laces.

Smi. But, now of late, not able to travel with her furred pack, she washes bucks here at home.

Cad. Therefore am I of an honourable house.

Dic. Ay, by my faith, the field is honourable; and there was he born, under a hedge; for his father had never a house, but the cage.

Cad. Valiant I am.

Smi. 'A must needs; for beggary is valiant.

Cad. I am able to endure much.

Dic. No question of that: for I have seen him whipped

three market-days together.

Cad. I fear neither sword nor fire.

Smi. He need not fear the sword; his coat is of proof. Dic. But methinks he should stand in fear of fire, being burnt i'the hand for stealing of sheep.

Cad. Be brave then; for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny: the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony, to drink small beer: all the realm shall be in common, and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to grass. And, when I am king, (as king I will be)—

All. God save your majesty!

Cad. I thank you, good people:-There shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel

them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers,

and worship me their lord.

Dic. The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Cad. Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? that parchment, being scribbled o'er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings: but I say, 'tis the bee's-wax: for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since.

W. SHAKESPEARE

1468

WHAT

CRITES

HAT should I care what every dor doth buz in credulous ears? It is a crown to me, that the best judgments can report me wronged; them liars and their slanders impudent. Perhaps, upon the rumour of their speeches, some grievéd friend will whisper to me; Crites, men speak ill of thee. So they be ill men, if they spake worse, 'twere better: for of such to be dispraised, is the most perfect praise. What can his censure hurt me, whom the world hath censured vile before me! If good Chrestus, Euthus or Phronimus, had spoke the words, they would have moved me, and I should have called my thoughts and actions to a strict account upon the hearing: but when I remember

'tis Hedon and Anaides, alas, then

I think but what they are and am not stirred;
the one a light voluptuous reveller,

the other, a strange arrogating puff,
both impudent and ignorant enough;
that talk as they are wont, not as I merit:
traduce by custom, as most dogs do bark,
do nothing out of judgment, but disease,
speak ill, because they never could speak well.
And who'd be angry with this race of creatures?
what wise physician have we ever seen
moved with a frantic man? the same affects

that he doth bear to his sick patient
should a right mind carry to such as these :
and I do count it a most rare revenge,

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