or by the martial strains of the Battle of Prague. To avoid such an infliction he had provided for my morning practise, and for the regular practise of the pupils, a dumb piano, that is, one from which all the strings had been removed; the best piano being reserved for the use of his daughter, who was a genius. Did you ever play on a dumb piano? I assure you it requires a very vivid imagination indeed to enable you to realise the beauties of any piece you attempt to play. It doesn't seem to produce any inspiration. Luckily for me there was also a small library in the room, and still more luckily—as I thought at the time, but not since there was also a key to Fry's Arithmetic-the "sum book" then used in the school. Having the opportunity and plenty of time I generally copied the answers to the sums likely to be set during the day. My schoolfellows were astounded at my proficiency in arithmetic and declared that I knew it as well as Squinting Bobby, which was not, perhaps, very surprising, seeing that we both went to the same source for our knowledge.

As I could not get any music out of the dumb piano in the mornings, I consoled myself by playing the Jews-harp in bed at night, with my head under the counterpane. Didn't I revel in that stolen pleasure? Didn't I play myself to sleep with "Home Sweet Home" every night, and didn't I think the sounds from that much maligned instrument sweeter than any other music in the world?

As an instance of the proficiency to be obtained by learning music on a dumb piano, I may mention that one of my schoolfellows, after two years tuition, during which, to quote from a letter sent to his parents by Mr. Snoocher, "Master Alonzo Jones had made very great progress in his musical studies," was rewarded for his diligence by finding on his return home for the Christmas holidays a beautiful piano as a present from his gratified father. The astonishment of his parents may be imagined, however, when the poor lad had to confess that he couldn't find his notes on a strange instrument; and it was only after the keys had been marked with letters corresponding to the musical notation that he was able to struggle through the simplest tunes in a first instruction book. Master Alonzo did not return to Blank-upon-Stour.

In my case, however, Mr. Robert Snoocher was more ambitious. It was not enough that I should be able to play the Battle of Prague with brilliancy, and give proper effect to "the cries of the wounded;" or that I should be able to sing songs in French and English to my own accompanyment: I must appear before my parents as a composer, and a composer I became-after a fashion.

In an event of this importance I may be excused if I narrate a little in detail the modus operandi.

On a certain evening when engaged (on the sly) in a game at "tit-tattoo" with a companion, the usher made his appearance in the school room, and proclaimed aloud that Master Silvanus Ashleaf was wanted in the parlour. With a beating heart and trembling knees I, of course, obeyed the summons, wondering on my way thither what sin I had committed, and what punishment would be inflicted. My fears were soon dispelled on reaching the sanctum-sanctorum by the oily but very

acceptable greeting: "Master Ashleaf, would you like a piece of cake?" Would I like a piece of cake? What a question to ask a schoolboy! However, I answered meekly enough-wondering what it foreshadowed

"If you please, sir," little thinking that it was a portion of one that had been sent for me that day by dear mother, but intercepted by the generous master.

When the luscious morsel had been duly disposed of, "my dear little boy" he continued, "I think your good parents would be very much gratified if you were to compose a piece of music.' "If you please sir" I naturally replied, "I don't know how, sir." "Then I'll show you he said, placing himself at the piano and producing a slate already ruled with lines for copying music. "Now then boy, you whistle something, something pretty, and I'll put it down." To refuse was out of the question, I made many attempts some of which were rewarded with a word of encouragement, and others with a box on the ear. At length I got fairly on the swing with a tune, which was duly registered and evidently approved, as I was rewarded with another piece of my own cake and sent back to the schoolroom. As I left the parlour I heard Bobby exclaim to his better-half "really that's a wonderful boy."

This circumstance had entirely escaped my memory until one evening during the succeeding holidays when I had a juvenile party at home, my mother, who was looking through my music-book with a view to the selection of a piece with which I was to astonish my little guests, came suddenly upon a sheet of music paper on which the said tune had been copied by hand with very great care. The title which was also a masterpiece of penmanship ran as follows:-"ARIOSO, Composed by Master Silvanus Ashleaf, aged ten years, pupil of Mr. Robert Snoocher, Organist, Blank-upon-Stour.

Imagine my mother's delight! Imagine, if you can, my horror! Of course there was a simultaneous outburst of congratulations as soon as the announcement was made, and urgent requests for me to play it. Now with all my precocity I couldn't play a piece at first sight, and I had not the slightest idea then what it was like. My refusal to "play it over" being good naturedly set down to modesty, my mother proceeded to play it herself, much to the delight of the company present.

All would have been well, even now, if my father had not, as ill luck would have it, happened to be at home, and by still worse luck practising the flute in an adjoining room. Hearing this wonderful " Arioso" he not only accompanied it in the distance, but when the air was finished he proceeded to play some elaborate variations of the same theme much to the delight and astonishment of the listeners. When this performance was over he made his appearance and was duly informed of the discovery that had been made, and that his hopeful son was evidently a musical genius. He gazed at the wonderful specimen of caligraphy with amazement, at first with a grave face, but finally gave way to an uncontrollable outburst of laughter. "Arioso!" he exclaimed "rubbish!" "Why its the very first lesson in Wragge's flute Instruction book, and the young rascal has heard me play it a hundred times at least."

Although my father appeared at the time to regard this incident in the light of a practical joke, I have no doubt it created considerable distrust in his mind as to the fitness of Mr. Robert Snoocher for his responsible position; for, of course, I confessed everything and fully explained how the supposed original composition had been concocted.

A circumstance occurred, however, some months later on which completely confirmed his views and resulted in the usual notice being given for me to leave the select academy at the end of the next half.

About a week before the usual time for "resuming scholastic duties" as Mr. Snoocher described it, he called upon my mother and obtained permission for Master Silvanus to accompany him in his visits to some new pupils. Now I knew perfectly well what this meant, because under the same pretence, he had taken me with him on many previous occasions and compelled me to sing, play, and recite, before certain people who had large families of growing-up sons; and as, in most cases, some of these boys eventually became his pupils, it was evident that my "showing off" was of considerable advantage to him. I had been afraid to tell my parents of the use he was making of me, knowing that on my return to school I should most certainly be punished for the disclosure; and perhaps, as a child, I may in some instances have felt very much gratified at the applause which my performances elicited. Everything, however, must have an end, and the climax to my boarding-school experience came in this wise.

During the afternoon we had visited three or four families, and I had gone through my programme with satisfaction to Snoocher and my audience. At length we called upon a well-to-do butcher who had two eligible sons.

Mr. Snoocher was evidently very anxious to obtain these boys as pupils, for while we were waiting the arrival of the family party, in a little back parlour behind the shop, he urged me to do my very best recitations, as I should not be called upon to play or sing, since the purveyor of meat did not possess a piano. Now, vain as I suppose I was of my accomplishments, I felt that to recite for the edification of a butcher and his family was a little infra-dig. and I ventured to remonstrate in the mildest possible manner by saying, "If you please, sir, I'd rather not recite any more to-day." The much dreaded frown, and the well known expression of his mysterious squint, which induced an immediate vision of the avenging eighteen-inch ruler on returning to school, compelled me to yield.

I recollect even now, the delight of the family as I declaimed The Razor Seller; My Name is Norval; and Lord Ullin's Daughter. Had I stopped at these recitations all would have been well, and the pupils hooked, for the butcher himself pronounced my performance to be" as good as a The-ay-ter "; but, thinking to make assurance doubly sure, Snoocher insisted upon just one more piece.

What demon possessed me to select Mark Antony's Oration over the dead body of Fulius Cæsar, I do not know; perhaps I had no thought

Certain it was,

whatever about it except that it was my favourite piece. however, that I had no sooner repeated the first two lines:

"Oh pardon me thou bleeding piece of earth

That I am meek and gentle with these butchers—"

than I was knocked down by a blow from Snoocher's heavy hand, and when I recovered consciousness I found the butcher in a violent rage, declaring that he had been insulted, and Snoocher vainly attempting to pacify him. I did not wait to listen to the altercation. Indignant at the treatment I had received, and smarting with pain from the blow, I rushed from the room and from the house, and only stopped to take breath until I reached home, where, half-choked with emotion and sobs, I told all my troubles and sufferings to my mother.

What my father did or said to Mr. Robert Snoocher I do not know, but I never returned to the "Select Academy for Young Gentlemen at Blank-upon-Stour.

THE WORK OF THE SESSION.

The Twenty-Fifth Annual Meeting of the Association was held at the Grand Hotel, Colmore Row, on Friday Evening, October 7th 1881, one hundred and twenty-five members being present.

The President, Mr. COUNCILLOR H. PAYTON, delivered an Address, on "Our Municipal Life, its True Character, Aims, and Uses."

The Report of the Committee was read by Mr. Jno. Suffield (Secretary), and the Balance-Sheet by Mr. T. Cund (Treasurer).

A vote of thanks was passed to the retiring officers on the motion of Mr. T. H. Smith, seconded by Mr. W. H. Greening, and the following gentlemen were elected for the present Session, viz. :—

Messrs. L. Brierley, A. Holden, C. C. Smith, Geo. Zair, H. S. Pearson,

and J. W. Tonks were elected members of the Committee.

The following Meetings have since been held :

October 27th, 1881.-DEBATE: "That State Aid in Promotion of Peasant Proprietorship in England is Just in Principle and Practicable." Opened in the Affirmative by Mr. Councillor H. Payton, and supported by Mr. C. Hibbs. Opened in the negative by Mr. Howard S. Pearson and supported by Messrs. R. Parkes and J. W. Tonks. The meeting was semi-public, and 115 members and friends attended.

Votes. Members only-Affirmative, 12. Negative, 36.

November 4th.-DEBATE: "That the policy of Fair Trade would promote the commercial prosperity of England." Affirmative,

Messrs. Frank Taylor, J. W. Tonks, J. Crane; negative, Messrs.
A. Giles, J. Wand, A. J. Claddo, and J. McClelland. Votes-
Affirmative, 6; negative, 27. Attendance, 59.

November 18th.-DEBATE: "That the state of Anarchy, which has prevailed in Ireland ever since the accession of the present Government to power, is mainly attributable to their policy." Affirmative, Mr. E. M. Coleman and Mr. W. H. Greening; negative, Messrs. Councillor T. J. Moore and J. McClelland. On the motion of Mr. C. Lean, seconded by Mr. Jno. Collier, the debate was adjourned. The meeting was semi-public, 103 members and friends being present.

December 4th.--ADJOURNED DEBATE: "That the state of Anarchy which has prevailed in Ireland ever since the accession of the present Government to power, is mainly to be attributed to their policy." Affirmative, Messrs. Jno. Collier, Jas. McClelland, Buckley, L. Brierley; negative, Messrs. C. Lean, Councillor Frank Wright, A. Holden, Geo. Titterton.

Votes.-Affirmative, Members only, 20.
"Members and friends, 27.

Negative, 27.

43.

The meeting was semi-public, 120 Members and friends being present.

NOTICES.

SUBSCRIPTIONS for 1882 are now due, and Members will oblige by remitting to the Treasurer, Mr. George Titterton, Brook Street, St. Paul's Square; and non-members, i.e., those who subscribe for the Magazine only-direct to the Editor Mr. Leonard Brierley, Somerset Road, Edgbaston.

INTENDING CONTRIBUTORS to the April number will oblige by sending their papers to the Editor not later than March 3rd.