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A NEW SIMILE FOR THE LADIES.
WITH USEFUL ANNOTATIONS,
DR. THOMAS SHERIDAN.
To make a writer miss his end,
I OFTEN tried in vain to find
Clouds turn with every wind about,
Clouds keep the stoutest mortals under,
Of Xanti's** everlasting tongue, * The following foot-notes, which appear to be Dr. Sheridan's, are replaced from the Irish edition. They hit the ignorance of the ladies in that age.
+ Most ladies, in reading, call this word a smile; but they are to note, it con. sists of three syllables, sim-i-le. In English, a likeness,
Not to hurt them. $ Not like a gun or pistol. | This is not meant as to shooting, but resolving.
This word is not here to be understood of a bull, but a cloud, which makes a noise like a bull, when it thunders.
** Xanti, a nick-name of Xantippe, that scold of glorious memory, who never let poor Socrates have one moment's peace of mind; yet with unexampled patience he bore her pestilential tongue. I shall beg the ladies' pardon if I insert a few passages concerning ber; and at the same time I assure them it is not to lesson those of the present age, who are possessed of the like laudable talents; for I will confess, that I know three in the city of Dublin, no way inferior to Xantippe, but that they have not as great men to work upon.
When a friend asked Socrates how he could bear the scolding of his wife Xantippe, he retorted, and asked him how he could bear the gaggling of his geese
The husband dreads its loudness more
Clouds weep, as they do, without pain:
The clouds about the welkin roam:*
The clouds build castles in the air,
A cloud is light by turns, and dark,
Ay, but my geese lay eggs for me, replies his friend ; So does my wife bear chil. dren, said Socrates.—Diog. Laert.
Being asked at another time, by a friend, how he could bear her tongue, he Baid, she was of this use to him, that she taught him to bear the impertinences of others with more case when he went abroad.-Plat. de Capiend. ex. host. utilit.
Socrates invited his friend Euthymedus to suppor. Xantippe, in great rage, went into them, and overset the table. Euthymedus, rising in a passion to go off, My dear friend, stay, said Socrates, did not a hen do the same thing at your house the other day, and did I show any resentment ?- Plat. de ira cohibenda.
I could give many more instances of her termagancy and his philosophy, if buch a proceeding might not look as if I were glad of an opportunity to expose the fair sex; but, to show that I have no such design, I declare solemnly, that I had much worse stories to tell of her behavior to her husband, which I rather passed over, on account of the great esteem which I bear the ladies, especially those in the honorable station of matrimony.
$ This is to be understood not in the sense of wort, when brewers put yeast or barm in it; but its true meaning is, deceived or cheated. | Hit your fancy.
Sullen fits. We have a merry jig called Dumpty-Deary, invented to rouse ladies from the damps.
** Reflection of the sun.
So Celia, with small provocation,
The clouds delight in gaudy show,
Observe the clouds in pomp array'd,
The clouds delight to change their fashion:
In them and you alike are seen
In evening fair you may behold
Clouds when they intercept our sight,
* Motherly woman.
+ Not grace before and after meat, nor their graces the duchesses, but the Graces which attended on Venus.
Not Flanders-lace, but gold and silver lace. By borrowed, I mean such as run into honest tradesmen's debts, for which they were not able to pay, as many of them did for French silver lace, against the last birth-day. Vide the shopkeepers' books.
8 Girls who love to hear themselves prate, and put on a number of monkeyairs to catch men.
Shock's fate I mourn; poor Shock is now no more:
Methinks I see her frantic with despair,
Cease, Celia, cease; restrain thy flowing tears,
More grateful toying, and a sweeter kiss. * I hope none will be so uncomplaisant to the ladies as to think these compar. isons are odious.
1 Tell the whole world ; not to proclaim them as robbers and rapparees.
He's dead. Oh! lay him gently in the ground !
THE RAZOR SELLER.
A FELLOW in a market town,
And offered twelve for eighteen-pence;
As every man would buy, with cash and sense.
That seemed a shoe-brush stuck beneath his nose •
“ This rascal stole the razors, I suppose.
“No niatter if the fellow be a knave,
It certainly will be a monstrous prize.”
And quickly soaped himself to ears and eyes.
Being well lathered from a dish or tub,
Just like a hedger cutting furze :
“I wish my eighteen-pence within my purse."
In vain to chase his beard, and bring the graces,
He cut, and dug, and winced, and stamped, and swore, Brought blood, and danced, blasphemed, and made wry
faces, And cursed cach razor's body o'er and o'er :