While one as innocent regards A snug and friendly game at cards; Some love a concert, or a race; And others shooting, and the chase. With sophistry their sauce they sweeten, REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE, NOT TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS. WILLIAM COWPER BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose, So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause So famed for his talent in nicely discerning. In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear, And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, Then holding the spectacles up to the court- Again, would your lordship a moment suppose Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then? On the whole it appears, and my argument shows, Then shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how), For the court did not think they were equally wise. So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone, HOLY WILLIE'S PRAYER.* ROBERT BURNS. O THOU, wha in the heavens dost dwell, A' for thy glory, And no for ony guid or ill They've done afore thee! I bless and praise thy matchless might, Kennedy gives the following account of the origin of "Holy Willie's Prayer:"-Gavin Hamilton, Esq., Clerk of Ayr, the Poet's friend and benefactor, was accosted one Sunday morning by a mendicant, who begged alms of him. Not recollecting that it was the Sabbath, Hamilton set the man to work in his garden, which lay on the public road, and the poor fellow was discovered by the people on their way to the kirk, and they immediately stoned him from the ground. For this offense, Mr. Hamilton was not permitted to have a child christened, which his wife bore him soon afterward, until he applied to the synod. His most officious opponent was William Fisher, one of the elders of the church: and to revenge the insult to his friend, Burns made him the subject of this humorous ballad. What was I, or my generation, Five thousand years 'fore my creation, When frae my mither's womb I fell, Whare damned devils roar and yell, Yet I am here a chosen sample; Strong as a rock, A guide, a buckler, an example To a' thy flock. [O L-d, thou kens what zeal I bear, When drinkers drink, and swearers swear, And singing there, and dancing here, Wi' great and sma'; For I am keepit by thy fear, Free frae them a'.] But yet, O L-d! confess I must, But thou remembers we are dust, Defil'd in sin. May be thou lets this fleshly thorn If sae, thy han' maun e'en be borne, Until thou lift it. L-d, bless thy chosen in this place, Wha bring thy elders to disgrace And public shame. I-d, mind Gawn Hamilton's deserts, Yet has sae mony takin' arts, Wi' great and sma', Frae G-d's ain priests the people's hearts He steals awa'. An' whan we chasten'd him therefore, As set the warld in a roar O' laughin' at us;— Curse thou his basket and his store, Kail and potatoes. L-d, hear my earnest cry and pray'r, Against the presbyt'ry of Ayr; Thy strong right hand, L-d, mak' it bare Upo' their heads, L-d, weigh it down, and dinna spare, For their misdeeds. O L-d my G-d, that glib-tongu'd Aiken, While Auld wi' hinging lip gaed snakin', L-d, in the day of vengeance try him, Nor hear their pray'r; But for thy people's sake destroy 'em, But, L-d, remember me and mine, Excell'd by nane, An' a' the glory shall be thine, Amen, Amen! EPITAPH ON HOLY WILLIE. HERE Holy Willie's sair worn clay Taks up its last abode; His saul has ta'en some other way, Stop! there he is, as sure's a gun, Nae wonder he's as black's the grun-- Your brunstane devilship, I see, Has got him there before ye; But haud your nine-tail cat a wee, Till ance ye've heard my story. Your pity I will not implore, Justice, alas! has gi'en him o'er, And mercy's day is gane. |