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very well known, that the inquiry has not motives arising from his vices, I cona been made into the state of mind of the sider him as dying of some disease, which deceased, but into his fortune and fa. those vices naturally produce. "If his mily. The law has indeed provided, extravagance has been chiefly in luxurithat the deliberate Self-murderer should ous eating and drinking, I imagine him be treated like a brute, and denied the poisoned by his wines, or furfeited by a rites of burial : but among hundreds of favourite dish; and if he has thrown Lunatics by purchase, I never knew this away his estate in bawdy-houses, I consentence executed buton one poor cobler, clude him destroyed by rottenness and who hanged himself in his own fall. A filthy diseases. pennyless poor wretch, who has not left Another real and principal caufe of enough to defray the funeral charges, the frequency of Suicide, is the noble nay, perhaps be excluded the church- fpirit of Free.thinking, which has difyard; but Self.murder by a pistol gen. fused itself among all ranks of people. teelly mounted, or the Paris - hilted The libertine of fashion has too refined fword, qualifies the polite owner for a a taste to trouble himself at all about a sudden death, and entitles him to a foul or an hereafter : but the vulgar inpompous burial, and a monument set. fidel is at wonderful pains to get rid of ting forth his virtues, in Weltminster his Bible, and labours to persuade himAbbey

self out of his religion. For this puro The cause of thefe frequent Self- pose he attends conftantly at the Dispumurders among us has been generally tant Societies, where he hears a great imputed to the peculiar temperature of deal about free-will, free-agency, and our climate. Thus a dull day is look- predestination; till at length he is coned upon as a natural order of executions vinced, that man is at liberty to do as and Englishmen must necessarily shoot, he pleases, lays his misfortunes to the hang, and drown themselves in Novem- charge of Providence, and comforts ber. That our fpirits are in some mea. himself that he was inevitably destined sure influenced by the air, cannot be to be tied up in bis own garters. The denied; but we are not such anere ba. courage of these heroes proceeds from rometers, as to be driven to despair and the same principles, whether they fall death by the small degree of gloom that by their own hands, or those of Jack our winter brings with it. If we have Ketch : the Suicide, of whatever rank, not so much sunshine as some countries looks death in the face without shrinka in the world, we have infinitely more ing; as the gallant rogue affects an easy than many others; and I do not hear unconcern under Tyburn, throws away that men dispatch themselves in dozens the psalm-book, bids the cart drive of in Ruflia or Sweden, or that they are with an oath, and swings like a gentleunable to keep up their spirits even in man. the total darkness of Greenland. Our If this madness should continue to climate exempts us from many diseases grow more and more epidemical, it will to which other more southern nations be expedient to have a Bill of Suicide, are naturally subject; and I can never diftin&t from the common Bill of Morbe persuaded, that being born near the tality, brought in yearly; in which North-pole is a physical cause for Self- fhould be set down the number of Suimurder.

cides, their methods of destroying then. Despair, indeed, is the natural cause felves, and the likely causes of their do. of these shocking actions; but this is ing fo. In this, I believe, we should commonly despair brought on by wilful find but few inartyrs to the weather ; extravagance and debauchery. These but their deaths would commonly be first involve men in difficulties, and then inputed to despair, produced by some death at once delivers them of their lives causes fimilar to the following. In the and their cares. For my part, when I little sketch of a Bill of Suicide underfee a young profligate wantonly squan. neath, I have left blanks for the date of dering his fortune in bagnios or at the the year, as well as for the number of gaming-table, I cannot help looking on Self-murderers; their manner of dying, him as hastening his own death, and in &c. which would naturally be filled up a manner digging his own grave. As by the proper persons, if ever this be is at iatt induced to kill himself by scheme Nould be put in execution.

A BILI 4 BILL OR SUICIDE FOR THE Of a Town House YEAR

Of Fortune-hunting

Of a Tour through France and Italy Of Newmarket Races

Of Lord Bolingbroke Of Kept Mistresses

Of the Robin Hood Society Of Electioneering

Of an Equipage Of Lotteries

Of a Dog-kennel Of French Claret, French Lace, French Of Covent Garden Cooks, and French Disease

Of Plays, Operas, Concerts, Masqueof White's

rades, Routs, Drums, &c. of Chinese Temples, &c.

Of keeping the best Company Of a Country Seat

N° LI. THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 1755.

ADDE QUOD ABSUMONT VIRES, PER EONT QUE LABORE ;
ADDE QUOD ALTERIUS SUB NUTU DEGITUR ÆTAS,
LABITUR INTIREA RIS, ET VADÍMONIA FIUNT,
LANGUENT OTTICIA, ATQUE RGROTAT TAMA YACILLANS.

LUCRIT,

WHIN HAUGHTY MISTRZSSIS OUR SOULS ENTHRALL,
THEY WASTE OPR STRENGTH, OUR FORTUNE, FAME, AND ALL.
MORTGAGE ON MORTGAGE LOADS THE BANKRUPT CULL,

WHO GIVES UP WEALTH AND HONOUR FOR A TRULL. VINCE pleasure is almost the only pleasure, as pug was to some ladies ; very necessary, for the maintaining his and do mischief, that they may be consequence and character, that he reckòned young fellows of fpirit. Hence Mhould have a Girl in Keeping. In- it happens, that many gentlemen main. triguing with women of falhion, and tain girls, who in fact are little more debauching tradesmen's daughters, na- than their nominal mistresses; for they turally happen in the common course of see them as seldom, and behave to them gallantry; but this convenient female, with as much indifference, as if they to fill up the intervals of business, is were their wives : however, as the wothe principal mark of his superior tafte man in a manner hears their name, and and quality, Every priggith clerk to is maintained by them, they may appear an attorney, or pert apprentice, can in the world with the genteel character throw away his occafional guinea in Co. of a Keeper. I have known several vent Garden ; but the fhortness of their gentlemen take great pains to heighten finances will not permit them to perse. their reputation in this way; and turn yere in debauchery with the air and off a first miltress, merely because the {pirit of a man of quality. The Kept was not sufficiently known, for the fake Mistress, which those half-reprobates of a celebrated woman of the town, a dare not think of, is a constant part of dancer, or an actress : and it is always the retinue of a compleat Fine Gentle the first step of an Englishman of fathion, man; and is, indeed, as indispensable after his arrival at Paris, to take one of a part of his equipage, as a French Va- the Filles d'Opera under his protection, lui de cbambre, or a four-wheeled pold It was but the other day, that Floria chaile.

went abroad, and left his girl to roll It was formerly the fashion among about the town in a chariot, with an the ladies to keep a monkey: at that unlimited order on his banker; and altime every woman of quality thought most as soon as he got to France, took herfelf obliged to follow the mode; and a smart girl off the stage, to make as even the merchants wives in the city had genteel a figure at Paris, In short, as their fashionable pugs, to play tricks a gentleman keeps running horfes, goes and break china.' Å Girl in Keeping to White's, and gets into parliament, is as disagreeable to fome of our men of for the name of the thing ; so must be

Pa

likewise

likewise have his Kept Mistress, because him withShe knew a gentleniant, withe it is the fashion : and I was mightily would scorn to use her fo barbarouslym pleased with hearing a gentleman once and she would go to him if the could boalt, that he lived like a man of qua. De fure she was not with chill.-This lity - For,' says he, I have a poit. Saft circumftance was a coup de reserve,

chaise, and never ride in it; I have a which never failed to bring about a wife, and never see her; and I keep reconciliation : nay, I have known her a mistress, and never lie with her.' make great use of breeding qualms upon

But if these fort of Keepers, who occafion; and things were once come never care a farthing for their mistresses, " to such an extremity, that she was even are to be laughed at, those who are forced to have recourse to a sham mirreally fond of their Dulcineas are to be carriage to prevent their separation. He pitied. The most ben-pecked husband has often been heard to declare, that if that ever bore the grievous yoke of a ever he had a child by her, it should take shrew, is not half so miserable, as a man it's chance at the Foundling Hospital. who is subject to the humours and un- He had lately an opportunity of putting accountable caprice of a çunning Nut this to a trial: but the bare hinting such who finds him in her power, Her be- a barbarous design threw the lady into haviour will continually give him new, hysterics. However, he was determined, occasion of jealousy; and perhaps the that the babe, as soon as it was born, will really difpense her favours to every should be put out to murie-he hated rake in town, that will bid up to her the squall of children. Well! madain price. She will smile when she wants tvas brought to bed; the could not bear money; be infolent when she does not;', the dear infant out of her light; and it and, in short, leave no artifice untried would kill her not to suckle it herself. to plaque his heart, and drain his pocket. The father was therefore obliged to

A friend of mine used constantly to comply; and an acquamtance caught rail at the Davish condition of married him the other morning tiring the pap,

men, and the tyranny of petticoat go. holding the clouts before the fire, and vernment: he therefore prudently re- (in a word) dwindled into a mere nurse.

solved to live an uncontrouled bachelor, Such is the transformation of this and for that reason pitched upon a Kind Keeper, whose character is still country girl, who should serve him as more ridiculous than that of a Fondlean handmaid. Determining to keep her wife among husbands. The amours, in a very Inug and retired manner, he indeed, of these fond souls commonly had even calcuated how much she would end one of these two ways: they either fave him in curtailing his ordinary ex- find themselves deserted by their mistress, pences at taverns and bagnios: but this when the has effectually ruined their scheme of ceconomy did not last long; conititution and estate; or after as many for the artful jade loon contrived to years cohabitation as would have tired • wind her close into his easy heart, and them of a wife, they grow so doatingly inveigled him to maintain her in all the fond of their whore, that by marriage splendor and eclat of a first-rate lady of they make her an honest woman, and pleasure. He at first treated her with perhaps a lady of quality, all the indifference of a fashionable hur. But the most unpardonable fort of band: but as soon as the found herself Keepers are Married Men, and old to be entire mistress of his affections, it Men. I will give the reader a short is surprising to think what pains the sketch of each of these characters, and took to bring him to the most abject leave him to judge for himself. compliance with all her whimsies, and Cynthio about two years ago was to taine hiin to the patient thing he now married to Clarinda, one of the finest is. A frown on his part would fre- women in the world. Her temper and quently cost him a brocade, and a tear disposition was as agrecable as her perfrom her was sure to extort a new hand. son, and her chief endeavour was to kerchief or an apron. Upon any light please her husband. But Cynthio's folquarrel- he would leave him that ly and vanity foon got the better of his moment-and though the haggage had constancy and gratitude; and it was not more cunning than to hazard an intrigue fix months after his marriage, before he with any

one clfe, she would work upon took a girl he was formerly acquainted kais jealousy, by continually twitting with into keeping. His dear Polly uses him like a dog; and he is cruel enough Thus Sir Thrifty lives, cursed by his to revenge the ill treatment he receives own funs, jilted by his mistress, and from her upon his wife. He feldom lanı shed at by the rest of the world. visits her, but when his wench has put It is very divirting to observe the him out of humour; and orçe, though thifts to which persons in middling or indeed unknowingly, communicated to low life are reduced, in order to bear her a filthy disease, for which he was this new incumbrance, with which they obliged to his miftress. Yet is he still fome:imes chuse to load themselves. fo infatuated as to doat on this vile husfy, The extravagance of a girl has put and wishes it in his power to annul his many a clerk 'on defrauding his master, marriage, and legitimate his bastards sent inany a diftreflcd gentleman's watch by Polly. Though it is palpable to to the pawnbroker's, and his cloaths to every one but Cynthio, that Polly has Monmouth Street, as well as the poor no attraction hut the name of Mistress, gentleman hiinfelf to the gaming table, and Ciarinda no fault lut. being his or perhaps to Hounslow Heath. I know Wife:

a Templar, who always keeps a girl for Sir Thrifty Gripe is arrived at his the first month after he receives his al. grand climacteric, and has just taken a lowance; at the end of which his poverty girl into keeping. Till very lately the obliges him to discard her, and live on multiplication-rable was his rule of life, muiton-chops and porter for the rest of and a penny saved is a penny got,' was the quarter: and it was but lately that his favourite maxim. But he has sud- my mercer discovered his apprentice to denly deserted Wingate for Rochester, be concerned with two others in an afloand the Change for Covent Garden. ciation for maintaining one trull coinHere he' met with the buxom Charloite, mon to the whole three. who at once opened his heart and his This review of one of the chief sources purse, and soon began to scatter his of extravagance, in the higher and midguineas in paying her debts, and sup-dling walks of life, will help yış to acplying her fresh expences. Her equi- count for the frequent mortgages and page is as genteel and elegant as that of distresses in families of fashion, and the a duchess; and the wife men in the Al- , numerous bankruptcies in trade. Here ley Shake their lieads at Sir Thrifty, as also I cannot help observing, that in the greatest fpendthrift in town, Sir this case, the misbehaviour of the woThrifty was formerly married to a mer. men is, in a great measure, to be charged chant's daughter, who brought hin a to the men: for how can it be expected fortune of 20,9001. but after she had that a lady sh ɔuld take any pleasure in two sons by him, he sent her into the discharging the domestic duties of a North of Wales to live cheap, and pre- wife, when me sees her husband's affece vent the probable expence of more chil. -tions placed abroad? Nothing, indeed, dren. His sons were obliged to an un- can be advanced in vindication of loose cle for education, and Sir Thrifty now conduct in the fair sex; but considering {carce allows them enough to fupport our modern morals, it is surely not much them. His mistress and he almoit al. to be wondered at, when the husband ways appear together at public places, . openly affronts his family by keeping a where fne conftantly makes a jest of him, wench, if the wife also takes care to while the old dotard dangles at her el- provide herself a gallant, bow, like January by the fide of May.

N° LII. THURSDAY, JANUARY 23 1755.

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-NON ILLA COLLO CALATHISYE MINERVA
JAMIN LAS ASSULTA MANUS.

VIRG.
SEE THE SHE-RAKE HER SOTTER SIX DISOWN:
THE BRLICHES MORE BECOME HER THAN THL COWN.

I

Am perfuaded that my readers will follow any of their horrid country amufe

agree with me in thinking that the ments. But Sir Sampson, out of his writers of the following letters ought to abundant good-nature, insisted on lend. change cloaths; fince, as the case stands. ing me a gun, and shewing me a day's at present, the one seems to be a Pretty sport of shooting. For this purpose he Miss in breeches, and the other a Blood loaded me with an huge gun, threw a in petticoats.

bag and pouch across my shoulders, and

made me look for all the world like Ro. TO MR. TOWN.

binson Crusoe! After I had followed him SIR,

through woods, and thickets, and briars, ROCKS, de farts, wilds, wastes, fa- and brambles, a servant, who was with

vages, and barbarians, make up us, hollowed out, Mark! when the bathe sum total of the odious country. I ronet's gun went off so suddenly, that it am just returned from a visit there; and threw me into a swoon; and at last ! would not pass another three weeks in could hardly be convinced that Sir the same way to be lord of the manor. Sampson had hot nothing but a wood.

Having received frequent invitations cock, from Sir Sampson Five-bars, and hav. After this you will conclude that I ing heard much of the beauty of his was not prevailed on to hunt, Once, three filters, in an evil hour Í took a indeed, Miss Fanny did tempt me to resolution to sacrifice this Christmas to accompany her on a morning-ride; but hiin at his seat in Wiltshire. I flattered even of this I heartily repented, Miss myself with the hopes that the novelty Fanny, I found, valued neither hedge and oddness of the scene would serve me nor ditch, has the strength of a chair. at least to laugh at; and that if the rustics woman, and in short is more like Tsulla were not mere stocks and itones, my in Hudibras, or Boadicea in the play, cloaths and discourse would have taught than a woman of fashion. Unluckily them to talk and dress like human crea- too, the horse I rode was skittih and tures. Need I tell you that I was dir. unruly; so that while I was scampering appointed? Sir Sampson is what the after Miss Fanny, a sudden start brought country people call an hearty man: he me to the ground. I received no hurt, has the tape and conftitution of a porter, but the fall so fluttered my spirits, that and is iturdy enough to encounter Miss Fanny was obliged to take me up Broughton without mufflers ; ' when he behind her. When we arrived at the

Speaks, thunder breaks ;' he hunts house, I was in the utmost confufion; almost every morning, and takes a toast for the booby servants food gaping and and tankard for his breakfast. You grinning at my distress; and Sir Sampmay easily imagine that what was plea- Son his elf told me, with a laugh as horfure to him must be torture to me; and, rible äs Caliban's, that he would lend indeed, I would as soon draw in a mill, me one of his maids, to carry me out er carry a chair for my diverfion, as an airing every morning.

Besides

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