HE various feafons of the year

THE various feafons of the year

the face of nature, than in the polite manner of palling our time. The diverfions of winter and fummer are as different as the dog-days and thofe at Chriftmas; nor do I know any genteel amulement, except Gaming, that prevails during the whole year. As the long days are now coming on, the theatrical gentry, who contributed to diffipate the gloom of our winter evenings, begin to divide themselves into trolling companies; and are packing up their tragedy wardrobes, together with a fufficient quantity of thunder and lightning, for the delight and amazement of the country. In the mean time, the feveral public Gardens near this metropolis are trimming their trees, levelling their walks, and burnishing their lamps, for our reception. At Vauxhall the artificial ruins are repaired; the cafcade is made to fpout with feveral additional ftreams of block-tin; and they have touched up all the pictures, which were damaged laft feafon by the fingering of thofe curious Connoiffeurs, who could not be fatisfied without feeling whether the figures were alive. The magazine at Cuper's, I am told, is furnished with an extraordinary fupply of gunpowder, to be fhot off in fquibs and iky-rockets, or whirled away in blazing funs and Catharine-wheels: and it is not to be doubted, in cale of a war, but that Neptune and all his Tritons will aflist the British navy; and as we before took Porto Bello and Cape Breton, we shall now gain new victories over the French fleet every night, upon that canal.

Happy are they who can mufter up fufficient, at least to hire tickets at the door, once or twice in a feafon! Not that thefe pleafores are confined to the rich and the great only for the lower fort of people have their Ranelaghs and

their Vauxhalls, as well as the quality. Perrot's inimitable Grotto may be feen for only calling for a pot of beer; and the royal diverfion of duck-hunting may be had into the bargain, together with a decanter of Dorchefter, for your fixpence, at Jenny's Whim. Every fkittlealley half a mile out of town is embellished with green arbours and fhady retreats; where the company is generally entertained with the melodious fcraping of a blind fidler. And who can retit the lufcious temptation of a fine juicy ham, or a delicious buttock of beef ftuffed with parfley, accompanied with a foaming decanter of fparsing homebrewed, which is fo invitingly painted at the entrance of almost every village alehouse?

Our Northern climate will not, indeed, allow us to indulge ourselves in all thofe pleasures of a garden, which are fo feelingly described by our poets. We dare not lay ourselves on the damp ground in fhady groves, or by the purl ing ftream; but are obliged to fortify our infide against the cold by good fubftantial eating and drinking. For this reafon, the extreme coftlinefs of the provifions at our public gardens has been grievously complained of by thofe gentry, to whom a fupper at thefe places is as neceflary a part of the entertainment, as the finging or the fire-works. Poor Mr. John fees with an heavy heart the profits of a whole week's card-money devoured in tarts and cheese cakes, by Mrs. Houle-keeper or My Lady's Own Woman; and the fubitantial Cit, who comes from behind the counter two or three evenings in the fummer, can never enough regret the thin wafer-like flices of beef and ham, that taste of nothing but the knife.

I was greatly diverted last Saturday evening at Vauxhad with the fhrewd remarks made on this very head by, an

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honest citizen, whofe wife and two daughters had, I found, prevailed on him to carry them to the Garden. As I thought there was fomething curious in their behaviour, I went into the next box to them, where I had an opportunity of feeing and over-hearing every thing that paft.

After fome talk- Come, come,' faid the old Don, it is high time, I think, to go to fupper. To this the ladies readily affented; and one of the miffes faid Do let us have a chick, papa. Zounds,' faid the father, they are half a crown a-piece, and no ⚫ bigger than a sparrow.' Here the old lady took him up You are fo ftingy, Mr. Rofe, there is no bearing you. 'When one is out upon pleasure, I love to appear like fomebody: and what fignifies a few hillings once and away, 'when a body is about it?' This reproof fo effectually filenced the old gentleman, that the youngest mifs had the courage to put in a word for fome ham likewife. Accordingly the waiter was called, and difpatched by the old lady with an order for a chicken and a plate of ham. When it was brought, our honeft cit twirled the dish about three or four times, and furveyed it with a very settled countenance; then taking up the flice of ham, and dangling it to and fro on the end of his fork, afked the waiter, how much there was of it. A fhilling's worth, 'Sir,' faid the fellow. Prithee,' faid the Don, how much doft think it 'weighs?-An ounce?-A fhilling an 'ounce! that is fixteen fhillings per pound!-A reasonable profit truly! -Let me fee-fuppofe now the whole 'ham weighs thirty pounds :-At a 'fhilling per ounce, that is, fixteen 'fhillings per pound, why your mafter makes exactly twenty-four pounds of every ham; and if he buys them at the beft hand, and falts them and cures them himself, they don't stand him in ten fhillings a-piece. The old lady bade him hold his nonfenfe, declared herself ashamed for him, and asked him if people must not live: then taking a coloured handkerchief from her own neck, the tucked it into his fhirt-collar, (whence it hung like a bib) and helped him to a leg of the chicken. The old gentleman, at every bit he put into his mouth, amused himfel. w. faying There goes two-pence-- there goes three-pence there gosa groat.➡

Zounds! a man at these places fhould 'not have a swallow fo wide as a tom• tit.'

This fcanty repast, we may imagine, was foon difpatched; and it was with much difficulty our citizen was prevailed on to fuffer a plate of beef to be ordered. This too was no lefs admired, and underwent the fame comments with the ham. At length when only a very fmall bit was left, as they fay, for manners in the dish, our Don took a piece of an old news-paper out of his pocket, and gravely wrapping up the meat in it, placed it carefully in his letter-cafe. I'll keep thee as a curiofity to my dying-day; and I'll fhew thee to my 'neighbour Horfeman, and afk him if 'he can make as much of his fteaks." Then rubbing his hands, and fhrugging up his thoulders Why now,' fays he, to-morrow night I may eat as much cold beef as I can ftuff, in any tavern

in London, and pay nothing for it.' A dith of tarts, cheese-cakes, and cuftards, next made their appearance at the requeft of the young ladies, who paid no fort of regard to the father's remon ftrance, that they were four times as dear as at the pastry-cooks."

Supper being ended, Madam put her fpoufe in mind to call for wine. We

must have fome wine, my dear, or we 'fhall not be looked upon, you know.' -Well, well,' fays the Don, that's right enough. But do they fell their liquor too by the ounce?— Here, drawer, what wine have you got?' The fellow, who by this time began to fmoke his guests, antwered- We have

exceeding good French wine of all forts, and please your honour. Would your honour have a bottle of Champagne, or Burgundy, or Claret, or—' No, no, none of your wifhy-washy outlandish rot-gut for me,' interrupted the citizen. A tankard of the Alderman beats all the red Claret wine in the French king's cellar. - But come, bring us a bottle of found old. Port: and d'ye hear? let it be good.'

While the waiter was gone, the good man moft fadly lamented, that he could not have his pipe; which the wife would by no means allow, because, she said, it was ungenteel to fmoke where any ladies were in company. When the wine came, our citizen gravely took up the bottle, and holding it above his head —' Aye, aye,' faid he, the bottom U • has

has had a good kick.-And mind how confoundedly it is pinched on the tides.-Not above five gills, I warrant.—An old foldier at the Jerusalem would beat two of them.-but let us fee how it is brewed.' He then poured out a glafs; and after holding it up before the candle, fmelling to it, fipping it twice or thrice, and fimacking his lips, drank it off: but declaring that fecond thoughts were beft, he filed an other bumper; and toffing that off, after fome paule, with a very important air, ventured to pronounce it drinkable. The ladies having alfo drank a glafs round, affirmed it was very good, and felt warm in the ftomach: and even the old gentleman relaxed into fuch good humour by the time the bottle was emptied, that out of his own free will and motion he most generously called for another pint, but charged the waiter to pick out an honeft one.'

While the glafs was thus circulating, the family amufed themselves with mak ing obfervations on the Garden. The citizen expreffed his wonder at the number of lamps, and faid it must coft a great deal of money every night to light Them all: the eldest mits declared, that for her part he liked the Dark Walk best of all, because it was folentary: little mifs thought the laft fong mighty pretty, and faid he would buy it, if the could but carry home the ture: and the old lady obferved, that there was a great deal of good company indeed; but the gentlemen were fo rude, that they perfectly put her out of countenance by faring at her through their py-glaffes. In a word, the tarts, the cheele cakes, the beef, the chicken, the ounce of ham, and every thing, feemed to have been quite forgot, until the difmal moment approached when the reckoning was called for. As this folemn bufinefs concerns only the gentlemen, the ladies kept a profound filence; and when the terrible account was brought, they left the paymaller u. difturbed, to enjoy the mifery by him.e.f: only the old lady had the hardinels to quint at the fum total, and declared it was pretty reasonable confidering.

Our citizen bore his misfortunes with a tolerable degree of patience. He tho k his head as he run over every article, and fwore he would never buy meat by the ounce again. At length, when he

had carefully fummed up every figure, he bade the drawer bring change for fixpence: then pulling out a leathern purfe from a snug pocket, in the infide of his waistcoat, he drew out flowly, piece by piece, thirteen fhillings; which he regularly placed in two rows upon the table. When the change was brought, after counting it very carefully, he laid down four halfpence in the fame exact order; then calling the waiter-' There,' fays he, 'there's your damage—thirteen and two-pence-And hearkye, there's

three-pence over for yourself. The remaining penny he put into his coatpocket; and chinking it-' This,' fays he, will ferve me to-morrow to buy a paper of tobacco.'

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The family now prepared themselves for going; and as there was fome flight drops of rain, Madam buttoned up the old gentleman's coat, that he might not fpoil his laced waistcoat; and made him flap his hat, over which the tied his pocket handkerchief, to fave his wig: and as the coat itfelf (the faid) had never been worn but three Sundays, the even parted with her own cardinal, and spread it the wrong fide out over his shoulders. In thefe accoutrements he fallied forth, accompanied by his wife, with her upper petticoat thrown over her head, and his daughters with the fkirts of their gowns turned up, and their heads muffled up in coloured handkerchiefs. I followed them quite out of the Garden: and as they were waiting for their hack to draw up, the youngest mifs afked- When shall come again, papa?- Come again?' faid he, What a pox would you ruin me? Once in one's life is enough; and I think I have done very handfome. Why it would not have coft me above four-pence half-penny to have spent my evening at Sot's Hole; and what with the curfed coachhire, and all together, here's almost a pound gone, and nothing to fhew for it. Fye, Mr. Rofe, I am quite afhamed for you,' replies the old lady. You are always grudging me and your girls the leaft bit of pleature; and you cannot help grumbling, if we do but go to Little Hornfey to drink tea. I am fure, now they are women grown up, they ought to fee a little of the 'world—and they hall.' The old Don was not willing to purfue the argument any further; and the coach coming up,