good family, but untoward parts, or mifchievous difpofition, who has been flogged for a-while at the grammarfchool, or fnubbed by his parents and friends at home, is frequently clapped on board a fhip in order to tame him, and to teach him better manners, Here perhaps he at firit meffes with the lowest of the feamen; and all that the young gentleman can learn from his jolly mefs-mates in the courfe of two or three voyages, is to drink flip, fing a bawdy catch, and dance an horn-pipe. Thefe genteel accomplishments he is fure to retain, as he grows old in the fervice; and if he has the good fortune to rife to a command, he is as furly and brutal when advanced to the cabin, as when he was tugging before the mast.

After all, it is but juftice to confefs, that there are many among our fea-officers, who defervedly bear the character of Gentlemen and Scholars; and it is ealy to perceive, with how much better grace they appear in the world than the reft of their brethren, who, when laid up and taken out of fervice, are as mere logs as the main-maft. An officer, who has any relish for reading, will employ the many vacant hours, in which he is relieved from duty, much more to his improvement and fatisfaction, than in fauntering between the decks, or mudling over a bowl of punch. I would, therefore, feriously recommend it to thofe young failors who have the happiness

to launch forth with a genteel and liberal education, not to fuffer every trace of it to be washed away, like words written on the fands: but that, when they return from fea, they may be fit to be admitted at St. James's,, as well as at Wapping or Rotherhithe.

Before I conclude, I must beg leave to fay a word or two concerning our SeaChaplains. The common failors are known to have, when on board, a very ferious regard for religion; and their decent behaviour at prayers, and fedate attention to the fermon upon quarterdeck, might shame a more polite audience at St. James's Church. For this reafon a truly religious Chaplain, of good morals and fober converfation, will neceffarily have as much influence on their behaviour as a mild and prudent Commander. Nor can a clergyman be too circumfpect on this point; fince, if he does not act in every respect conformable to his function, his place might be as well fupplied by any one of the unbeneficed Doctors of the Flect. In a word, if a Chaplain will, fo far diveft himself. of his facred character, as to drink, fwear, and behave in every refpect like a common failor, he should be obliged to work in the gangway all the rest of. the week, and on Sundays be invested with a jacket and trowsers instead of his canonicals. I am, Sir, your humble fervant,

O

T. FORE-CASTLE.

S

HOR.

O long ago as my fourth number (the reader perhaps may not remember) I made mention of a Female Thermometer, conftructed by my ingenious friend Mr. James Ayscough, optician, on Ludgate Hill; and I then informed the public, that the liquor • contained within the tube was a che, mical mixture, which being acted upon by the circulation of the blood and animal fpirits, would rife and fall according to the defires and affections of the wearer. But I have now the

further fatisfaction to acquaint my fair readers, that after several repeated trials and improvements, we have at length brought the inftrument to fo great a degree of perfection, that any common byftander may, by a proper application of it, know the exact temperature of a lady's paflions. The liquor, among other fecret ingredients, is diftilled fecundum artem from the herbs lady's-love and maiden-hair, the wax of virgin-bees, and the five greater hot and cold feeds; and the properties of it are fo fubtle and penetrating,

penetrating, that immediately on it's coming within the atmosphere of a lady's affections, it is actuated by them in the fame manner as the fpirits are by the impulfe of the air in the common Ther

mometer.

It was not without fome difficulty that we could fettle the different degrees of heat and cold in a lady's defires, which it would be proper to delineate on our Thermometers but at last we found, that the whole fcale of female characters might be reduced to one or other of the following, viz.

ABANDONED IMPUDENCE.
GALLANTRY,

LOOSE BEHAVIOUR.
INNOCENT FREEDOMS.
INDISCRETIONS.

INVIOLABLE MODESTY.

From these degrees, which we have accurately marked on the fide of the tube, we have been able to judge of the characters of feveral ladies, on whom we have made the experiment. In fome of these we have found the gradations very fudden; and that the liquor has rifen very falt from the lowest point to the higheft. We could likewife difcover, that it was differently affected according to the different ftation and quality of the fubject; fo that the fame actions, which in a lady of fashion scarce raifed the liquor beyond Indiscretions, in another caused it to mount almost to Impudence. Much alfo depended upon the air and temperature of the place, where we made our trials: and even the dress had fome influence on our Thermometer: as we frequently obferved, that the rife and fall of the liquor in the tube bore an exact proportion to the rife and fall of the ftays and petticoat,

I fhall now proceed to give a fuccinct account of the many repeated experi. ments which we have made on different fubjects in different places. During the winter feafon we had frequent opportu nities of trying the effects which the play-houfe, the opera, and other places of diverfion, might have on the Thermometer. At the play-house we always found the liquor rife in proportion as the drama was more or leis indecent or immoral: at fome comedies, and particularly the Chances, it's elevation kept pace exactly with the lusciousness of the dialogue and the ripening of the plot;

fo that it has often happened, that with fome fubjects, at the opening of the play, the liquor has ftruggled a while, and rofe and funk about the degrees juft above Modefty; before the third act it has food fufpended at the middle point between Modefty and Impudence; in the fourth act it has advanced as far as Loofe Behaviour; and at the conclufion of the play, it has fettled at downright Impudence. At public concerts, and the opera efpecially, we obferved that the Thermometer conftantly kept time (if I may fo fay) with the mufic and finging; and both at the opera and the play-houfe, it always regulated it's motions by the dancer's heels. We have frequently made trials of our inftrument at the masquerades in the Hay Market: but the temperature of that climate always proved fo exceeding hot, that on the moment of our coming into the room, the liquor has boiled up with a furprising effervefcence to Abandoned Impudence.

During the fummer season, we havs not failed to make our observations on the company at the public gardens. Here we found, indeed, that with fome raw unpolished females, who came only to eat cheese-cakes and fee the cafcade and fire-works, the liquor did not ftir beyond Modefty; with many it has crept up to Indifcretions; and with fome it has advanced to Loofe Behaviour. We had no opportunity to try our Thermometer in the dark walks; but with some subjects we have plainly perceived the liquor haftening up towards Innocent Freedoms, as they were retiring to thefe walks from the rest of the company; while with others, who have gone the fame way, it has continued to point, (as it did at the beginning of our obfervations) at Gallantry. One young lady in particular we could not help remark ing, whom we followed into Vauxhall, gallanted by an officer. We were glad to fee, at her firft going in, that the liquor, though it now and then faintly afpired towards Indifcretions, ftill gravitated back again to Modefty: after they had taken a turn or two in the walks, we perceived it fluctuating between Innocent Freedoms and Loofe Behaviour: after this we loft fight of them for fome time; and at the conclu fion of the entertainment (as we followed them out) we could not without concern observe, that the liquor was haftily

bubbling

bubbling up to a degree next to Impu

dence.

Befides the experiments on thofe ladies who frequent the public places of diverfion, we have been no lefs careful in making remarks at feveral private routs and affemblies. We were here at firft very much furprised at the extreme degree of COLD which our Thermometer feemed to indicate in feveral ladies who were feated round the card-tables; as we found not the leaft alteration in it either from the young or old: but we at laft concluded that this was owing to their love of play, which had totally abforbed all their other paffions. We have, indeed, more than once perceived, that when a lady has rifen from cards after fo much ill luck as to have involved herself in a debt of honour to a gentleman, the Thermometer has been furprisingly affected; and as the has been handed to her chair, we have known the liquor, which before was quite ftagnant, run up inftantaneoufly to the degree of Gallantry. We have alfo been at the trouble to try it's efficacy in the long rooms at Bath, Tunbridge, Cheltenham, &c. and we have found that thefe places have brought about furprifing changes in the conftitutions of thofe

SICK ladies who go thither for the be nefit of the waters.

Having thus fufficiently proved the perfection of our Thermometer, it only remains to acquaint my readers, that Mr. Ayfcough will be ready to fupply the public with thefe ufeful instruments as foon as the town fills. In the mean time I would advife those ladies who have the leaft regard for their characters, to reflect that the gradations, as marked on our Thermometer, naturally lead to each other; that the tranfitions from the loweft to the highest are quick and ob vious; and that though it is very eafy to advance, it is impoffible to recede. Let them, therefore, be careful to regulate their paflions in fuch manner, as that their conduct may be always confiftent with decency and honour, and (as Shakespeare fays) not ftepping o'er the

bounds of Modefty. I shall conclude with obferving, that thefe Thermometers are defigned only for the ladies: for though we imagined at first that they might ferve equally for the men, we have found reafon to alter our opinion; fince, in the course of several fruitless experiments on our own fex, there has fcarce appeared any medium in them between Modesty and Impudence,

W

SIR,

IT

TO MR. TOWN.

T has been generally imagined that learning is only to be acquired in the clofet, by turning over a great number of pages for which reafon men have been affiduous to heap together a parcel of dufty volumes, and our youth have been fent to ftudy at the univerfities: as if knowledge was fhut up in a library, and chained to the fhelves together with the folios. This prejudice has made every one overlook the most obvious and ready means of coming at literature; while, as the Wife Man has remarked, Wifdom crieth without; fhe uttereth her voice in the ftreets; he crieth in the chief place of concourfe, in the opening of the gates: in the city fhe

HOR.

uttereth her words, and no man regardeth her. Every lane teems with inftruction, and every alley is big with erudition: though the ignorant or cu rious paffer-by fhuts his eyes against that univerfal volume of arts and fciences which conftantly lies open before him in the highways and bye-places; like the laws of the Romans, which were hung up in the public ftreets.

You must know, Mr. Town, that I am a very hard ftudent, and have pers haps gleaned more knowledge from my reading than any of your poring fellows of colleges, though I was never poffeffed of fo much as an horn-book. In the courfe of my ftudies I have followed the example of the ancient Peripatetics, who uted to ftudy walking: and as I had

not

like manner you will conclude, that the knowledge which I have thus picked out of the streets has been very extenfive: I have gone through a compleat courfe of phyfic by perufing the learned treatife of Dr. Rock and other eminent practitioners, pafted up at the entrance of allies and bye places: I have learned at every corner, that the fcurvy is a popular difeafe-that the bloody flux cannot be cured by any of the faculty, except the gentlewoman at the blue pofts in Haydon Yard-that nervous difeafes were never fo frequent-and that the royal family and moft of our nobility are troubled with corns. I was compleatly grounded in politics by stopping at Temple Bar every morning to read the Gazetteer, which ufed to be stuck up there to the great emolument of the hackney-coachmen upon their ftands. But above all, I have acquired the most fublime notions of religion, by liftening attentively to the spirited harangues of our most eminent field-preachers: and I confefs myfelf highly obliged to the itinerant miffionaries of Whitefield, Wefley, and Zinzendorf, who have instructed us in the New Light from empty barrels and joint ftools. Next to thefe, I have received great improvements from the vociferous retailers of poetry; as I conftantly uted to thrust myfelf into the circle gathered round them, and liften to their ditties, till I could carry away both the words and the tune. I have likewife got fome notion of the drama by attending the theatres; though my finances were too fcanty for me ever to get admittance even among the Gods in the upper regions of the twelve penny gallery. I therefore had recourfe to the following practice: I would contrive to hear one act at the outside of one of the pit doors: the next act I took my stand at the other: and as the author generally rifes in the middle, I could catch the molt tearing parts during the third act in the paffage to the two-fhilling gallery: in the fourth act the rants came tolerably loud to my ear at the entrance of the upper gallery; and I very attentively liftened to the pathetic, at the conclusion of the play, with the footmen in the lobby.

not the advantage to be brought up a fcholar, I have been obliged, like the Lacædemonian children, to the public for my education. My first relish for letters I got by conning over thofe elegant monofyllables, which are chalked out upon walls and gates, and which (as pretty books for children are adorned with cuts) are generally enforced and explained by curious hieroglyphics in Caricatura. I foon made a further progrefs in the alphabet by ftaring up at the large letters upon play-bills, and advertifements for ftage-coaches and waggons; till at length I was enabled to make out the infcriptions upon figns, bills on empty houfes, and the titles on rubricpofts. From these I proceeded gradually to higher branches of literature; and my method has fince been to vifit the Philobiblian libraries, and other learned ftalls, and the noble collections at Moorfields; in which choice repofitories I have with infinite pleafure and advantage run over the elaborate systems of ancient divines, politicians, and philofophers, which have efcaped the fury of paftry-cooks and trunk-makers. As for the modern writings of pamphleteers and magazine-compilers, I make it my bufinefs to take my rounds every morning at the open fhops about the Royal Exchange; where I never fail to run through every thing, fresh as it comes out. Thus, for example, I make a fhift to fquint over the first page of the Connoiffeur, as it lies before me, at Mrs. Cooke's; at the next fhop I fteal a peep at the middle pages; at another proceed on to the fourth or fifth; and perhaps return again to conclude it at Mrs. Cooke's. By the fame means I am myfelf become a Connoiffeur likewife; and you will be furprifed when I affure you, that I have a great variety of the fineft prints and paintings, and am mafter of a more curious fet of nicknacks than are to be found in Sir Hans Sloare's Collection. For as I conftantly furvey the windows of every printshop, and attend every auction, I look upon every curiofity as actually in my poffellion; and you will agree with me, that while I have the opportunity of feeing them, the real owners cannot have more fatisfaction in locking them up in Cabinets and Mulæums.

It is recorded of Democritus, that he tranfcribed a fyltem of ethics from the volumns of Acicarus in Babylonia. In

Endowed with fo much learning, you will doubtle's be curious to know to what purposes I have turned it. Almoft before I could read at all, I got into the fervice of a very eminent doctor of phy2 B

fic,

fic, who employed me in fticking up his bills, and flipping them flily into the hands of fpindle-thanked young fellows, as they paffed by. After this, by closely tudying thefe elegant compofitions, I got together a fufficient fet of medical phrafes, which (by the help of Bayley's Dictionary) enabled me to draw up bills and affidavits for thofe doctors who were not fo happy as to be able to write or read. I was next promoted to the garret of a printer of bloody murders, where my bufinefs was to invent terrible ftories, write Yorkshire tragedies, and occafionally to put the ordinary of Newgate's Account of Dying Speeches into lamentable rhyme. I was afterwards concerned in works that required a greater fund of erudition, fuch as bog. houfe mifcellanies, and little books for children and I was once engaged as the principal compiler of a three-halfpenny magazine. Since that I followed the occupation of an Eves-dropper, or collector of news for the daily papers; in which I turned a good penny by hunting after marriages and deaths, and inventing lyes for the day. Once, indeed, being out of other business, I defcended to the mean office of a balladfinger, and hawked my own verses; but not having a good ear for mufic, and the tone of my voice being rather inclined to whining, I converted my ballads into penitential hymns, and took up the vocation of Methodist Preacher. In this itation I made new converts every day among the old women by my fighs and groans, who in return contributed their halfpence, which I difpofed of in charity to myfeif: but I was at Jaft beat off the field by a journeyman fhoe-maker, who fairly out-whined me; and finding myfelf deferted by my ufual

audience, I became Setter to a Fleet Parfon.

My employment now was to take my ftand at the end of Fleet Market, and whenever I faw any gaping young couple ftaring about them, to whisper them foftly in the ear, and afk them whether they wanted to be married. Whenever the ceremony was performed, I officiated as clerk and father to give away the bride: and when my matter the doctor died, I made a fhift to purchase his entire ftock in trade, (confifting of a ruity caffock, an old grizzle wig, and one lappet of a band) and fucceeded him in his benefice of the Hand-and-Pen Chapel. I now got a more comfortable fubfiftence than many regularly ordained curates in the country: but the Marriage-act foon after taking place, I was flung out of employ; and as the primate of May Fair, the reverend Dr. Keith, is forced to fell fnuff in the Fleet Prifon, I have been obliged to retail gin in a night-cellar.

Thus, Mr. Town, have I fet before you the progrefs I have made in literature, as well as the particular circumftances of my life, in hopes they will induce you to recommend me to the notice of the public. As the parliament has not thought fit to make any provifion for the poor distressed Clergy of the Fleet, I intend to open a New OratoryChapel in Fleet Market, to be conducted on the fame principles with that eftablished in Clare Market; and for which I flatter myself 1 fhall appear no less qualified by my education than the renowned Henley, or any of his butchers. I fhail, therefore, beg leave to fubfcribe myself, hoping for your countenance and protection, your very humble fervant, T ORATOR HIGGINS.

EA

ATING and drinking being abfolutely requifite to keep our crazy frames together, we are obliged to attend to the calls of nature, and fatisfy the regular cravings of the appetite: though it is, in truth, but a very small part of the world that eat because they are hun

MART.