Obrázky na stránke






[ocr errors]

TO MR. Town.

tage of breeding our own poultry, and

feeding our own cattle, for the supply notable disposition, who values her. box about twenty miles from town, with self upon going the nearest way to work a piece of ground adjoining to it, and in every thing, and laying out lier mo. my wife took upon her the whole man ney to more advantage than any body nagement of the estate; for the ordering elle. But her economy is fo frangely of which she had collected together fó Expensive, and her favings attended with many excellent rules, that the was sure such ridiculous extravagance, that she to fave cént. per cent. in every article, has almost undone me by her frugality. The consequence of this was, that our

In the first place, my wife is particu- chickens, being fed with rye instead of larly proud of being an excellent Mar: barley and wheat; died of the pip; our ket woman. She understands this bus terkies were crammed with bran and finess so well, it seems, that the buys butter.milk, to save the expence of corn, every thing better of it's fort, and at a and were most of them carried off by a cheaper rate, than any other person i looseness; our geese were fattened witha' for which reason the always undertakes acorns instead of oats, and were as poor it herself, and trudges to market with as their plucked brethren in the fens of all the notable airs and houfewifely ap-' Lincolnshire. Our hogs cost vis nothing pearance of an old butter-woman. Here in a manner for their keeping, as they The flatters herself, that she has the art lived upon turnip-parings and cabbage. of beating down every thing so very lows stalks; pease and bean-Shells, fcalded that she cannot refiit the temptation of crab-apples, and bull's blood and liver; buying such extraordinary pennyworths; in consequence of which our bacon was and after spending the whole morning rancid, and our pork meally. We had at twenty different shops, and four or two cows for the use of our dairy; but five different markets, she comes home the very first winter, being fed for cheapwith provisions enough to support the ness with nothing but collart-leaves and firft duke's family in the kingdom for a chopt straw, they gave no milk for half week. Though the natural consequence the year, and at last died of the distemof this housewifery is, that above half per among the horneil cattle. Even ker marketings itink and grow mutty our poor mare, which used to run in the before we can use them; yet she is high- chaife, fared no better than a miller's jy delighted with her management, and horse, as she was kept chietly upon bran, entertains all the good ladies of her ac- and very feldom indulged with the luxquaintance with an account of her deco: ury of oats and beans ; so that the poor nomy, and the complaints of the trades- creature, after a journey somewhat harder men, that there was no dealing with her, than usual, dropt down dead between that she is too hard for them, and that the Mafts. We had scarce better luck they fhall be ruined by selling ber fuck in the management of our garden : for bargains.

thongh my wife prided herself on her I Thould tell you, Sir, that soon after notable ikill in these matters, our fruit. we were married, my wife over-persuado trees could never be brought to bear; ed me to take an houfe in the country; and when cucumhers were to be had for and the affured me, that'we fhould save a penny a dozen, and pease for a groat more than the rent of it, by the advan- a pecs, we had the pleasure of gather


ing them fresh from our own garden, furnish a fale-Shop, which she has bought after they had itood us in more than ten of ladies maids for a mere trifle. She is times their value in the raising.

a frequent customer to pretended {mug Among her other housewifely accomo glers, that dily whisper in your ear, and plifunents, my wife was possessed of the offer you right India handkerchiefs original receiptstof her grandmother for made at Spital Fields. But above all, all sorts of Made Wines, which nobody she constantly attends the feveral Auce coull distinguish from those of a foreign tions of the Stock in Trade of emigrowth. She therefore set about mak. nent Tradesmen, that were never heard ing a large quantity of Port and Claret of; and the Houshold Furniture, Place, from elder-berries, and Mountain and China, &c. of Baronets and Squires, Frontiniac from raisinsand brown sugar: that never existed but in the brain of the but when there had been kept to a pro Auctioneer. Here the meets with fuch per age, and were fit to be drank, we excellent Pennyworths, that, as my had this only confolation, that they were pantry is stored with more provisions the best Vinegar that could be used for than we can dispense with, every room ours pickles. Our October, which the in my house is crammed up with useless contrived to brew with as much bran as beds, tables, ches of drawers, curio. salt, and mugwort instead of hops, fities, peruke pated beaux, and fine grew deal in the calks before it had fuf- ladies, (beauties of their times) that are ficiently, termented ; and when we had good for nothing but to hide the bare bottled it off, it hurst above twenty do- walls of a garrot. In fort, Sir, unless zen of the bottles, and the remainder, you can prevail with her to forego the was lour. My wife also bought a Still, wonderful advantages of making such with it's shole apparatus, that the might exquifite purchases, as, the says, all the make Plague and Hysteric Water for her world would jump at, 1 thall very soon vin use, and give away among her poor be quite a beggar: for if the goes on at neighbours : but at one time the head this rate buying things for nothing, as of the Still flew off, and laid her under he calls it, I Mall hortly have nothing the furgeon's hands for three months; to buy withal. and at another, it took fire, and had As these valuable purchases are daily like to have burnt the house down. To multiplying upon my hands, and as my this account I should likewife set down house is become a repository for the rethe charge of our apothecary's shop, in fule of Sales and Auctions, the only preparing ointments for scalds, lalves method I can think of at present to get for burns, and other family medicines; rid of them, is to make an Auction my. in all which I know to my cost, the old self. For this purpose I have drawn out Laying was inverted, and we left eleven. a catalogue; and have sent you the fol. pence out of a shilling.

lowing specimen, that by it you may You must know, Sir, that (besides judge of the rett of my curiosities. her domestic æconomy) my provident dear is a inost passionate admirer of a

CATALOGUE Pennyrvorib in any shape; and is one of those prudent good ladies, who will

Of the choice and valuable purchase any thing of which they have no need, merely because they can have EFFECTS OF MR. ..., it a Bargain. It would be doing much

Learing off HOUSEKEEPING. service to many other poor gentlemen as well as to me, if you could convince these TO BE SOLD BY, AUCTION. thrifty females, that to purchase useless cominodities at any price, can never be. In the Firf Day's Sale (aming orber Par. good housewifery; and that however

siculars equally curious), will be included, Dearly, they may drive their bargains, A Whole. Mheet Print

of King Charles there is just so much money flung away. on Horseback, by Mr. Henry Overas che purchale costs. We have as much ton, finely coloured, Jinen by us as would set up a piece. Mary Queen of Scots, by the same broker, which my wife has purchased Malter, done after the Life, and under prime cost of the Scotch pedlar's painted upon Glass, the Right-eye that came to our door; and I am fure cracked, and the Nolt a little Scratchve have satt. off cloachs fufficient to ed.

A Capital


[ocr errors]


[ocr errors]


[ocr errors]

A Capital Piątude of Adam and Eve in mins, of the Chelsea and Bow Mx Cross-ftitch.

Noah's Ark, ia Tent-ftitch, it's Com-

To which will be added,
Fair Rofamond's Bower, in Nun's
Work, by the fame Hand.

1 Almall, but Well-chores A lively Representation of Chevy Chase,

COLLECTION in Lignum Vitæ, Rose-wood, and Mother of Pearl, curiously inlaid, Several lesser Pieces of Birds, Beasts, MODERN BOOKS; Fruits, and Flowers, copied from Nature, in coloured Silks, ttained Feathers, and painted Straw. Merlin's Cave, in Shell-works' com

Pope's Works, and all our belt

Authors-published in Ink-stands, posed of above a thousand beautiful Tea chests, and Qyadrille-boxes for Shells, with a Cascade of Looking- Filhes and Counters. glass playing in the Middle. Mifs in her Teens The Fool in Fa. A most curious Tea-table of rare old ?tion All for Love-The Way to

Japan; with the Edges broke off, and Win Hiin.She Would if the Could one of the Legs wanting.

Much Ado about Nothing-bound A moft rare and inestimable Collection

together, for the Use of the Fair Sex, of right old China; contitting of Half

in a compleat Set of Dreffing-boxes. a Punch. bowl, Three Parts of a Din,? A new Forin of Self Examination in Half a Dozen Plares joined together a Snuff-box with a Looking-glass in with Wires i drilled through their the Lid of it." Middles, a Sugar-dish with a Piece The Spiritual Comfort, or Companion broke off the Side, a Tea-pot withai for the Closet in a small Pocket Ve. out a Spout, another without an:

lume; containing a Bottle of Cordial Handle, and five oda Caps and Water.

Saucers, the Cracks neatly joined: The Pofthumous Works of the late with white Paint, 9

Lord Vifcount Bolingbroke-In a" Soune large and elegant Jars and Vales ? Close-tool.

in Papier Macbet. Severat. Figures of Dogs, Monkeys, 1

Sir, your humble servant, &c., Cats, Parrots, Mandarins, and Brasi


I am,

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small]





A 3:9.


[ocr errors]

pular vices, which most people monly excused, I have heen tempted to seckon among their venial failings; and examine, wherber Drinking really de it is thought no great blot on a man's ferves that quarter. it receives from the character, to fay he takes his glafs ra- generality of mankind; and I must own, ther too freely. But as those vices are that after a frict attention to the prin. oft dangerous and likely to prevail, cipal :metimes that induce men to be


corne Aard-drinkers, as well as the fie, has not courage to refuse his bums. confequences which such exceffes pro- per. He is drunk every night, and al: duc , I ? at a loss to account for the ways fick to death the next morning, received maxin, that in good wine when he constantly resolves to drink • there is truth;' and Mould no more nothing Hronger than sinalt heer for the expect happiness in a fuil bowl, than future; but at night the poor fellow gets chattity in :he bar of a tavern.

drunk again through dowilight moThe incentives to this practice are deity. Thus Wou'd be suffers himfelf fome of them very shocking, and some to be preffed into the fervice; and linice very ridiculous: as will perhaps appear , he has commenced a jolly teilow, is bea from the lowing characters. come one of the most miserable wretches

Por llary was bleft with every upon earthi. wond raiification or the head and heart, Honest Ned Brimner is at present the ani bade fair or the love and admira- Toft diimal object tinat ever fell a facrision of the whole wrld; but was un- fice to liquor. It was unluckily his firft fortunately bound in a vrry large fum ambition to proinote what is called Good for a friend, who didappeared, and left Feilowship. In this undertaking he has him to the m. rcy of the law. The dif- in a very few years entirely ruined his tresses, thus brought upon him by the conftitution; and now falks up and treachery of another, threw him into the down in to pitcous a condition, as might deept de pur; and he had at lait re- inspire his companions with more mecourte :9 Drinking, to benumh, if pof- lancholy reflections than an empty bot. fible, the very fine of reflection. He tle. He has quite lost all appetite ; and is miferable, wixen fiber; and when he is now obliged to keep up a weak drunk, Itupifiei and muddleá: his mii- artificial heat in his body, by the same forinnes have r' bhath of all the joys means that deitroyed the natural warmth of life; and he is now endeavouring of his conftitution. Rum, Brandy, and wilfully to put an end to them by a llaw Ulquiebaugh, are his diet-drinks: and he poison.

may perhaps linger a few months beToin Buck, from the firit day that fore he falis a martyr to Good Fellowhe was put into brecchęs, was always thip. accounted a boy of Ipim; and before he Having thus taken a Mori view of the reached the top of Westonintter school, unhappy motives that induce men to knew the names and faces of the most become Hard-drinkers, few perhaps nored girls upon the town, tollel off his will think fuch reasons any recommen, Claret with a smack, and had a long dation to Drunkenness. Nor can I tick at the tavern. When he went to imagine they will grow more fond of it, Oxford, he espoused the Tory party, by observing what ftrange creatures they because they drank deepelt; and he has are during their intoxication. Shakefor some years been accounted a four: speare calls it putting a Devil into bottle man. He drank for fame; ar. i their mouths, to Real away their has fo wel established his chara ter, that • brains :' and, indeed, a cup too much he was never known to send a man from turns a man the wrong side out: and his chambers foher, but generally laid wine, at the same time it takes away the his whole company under the table. power of landing from the legs, de. Since his leaving the University, nobody prives the mind of all sense and reflecever acquired more reputation by Elcc- tion. It is whimsical enough to contiorenring; for he cal fer ut the storit- Gider the different effects which wine est free older in England. Hic has, in produces on different tempers. Somedeed, iwallowed melly a tunin t're fer. times, like love, it makes a fool senvice of his country; and is no iv a founder fible, and a wise man an ass; and seems patriot by two bottles, than any man in to imbibe a new quality from every difthe county,

ferent body, as water takes a tincture Poor Wou'l-b became a debauchee fron the ground it runs through. through mere banhfulness, and a foolish Horace has with great pleasantry re. sort of modesty, that has made many capitulated the various effects of wine in a nan drunk in spite of hi teeth. He a itanza, which I have placed at the contracted a 1 ac maintanc witi a set of head of this paper. One man grows Hard-drinkeis: and though he would m udlin and weeps; another becomes as soon chuse to swallow a dose of pliy merry and facetious; a third quarrels, throws a bottle at his companion's head, mott people make when they are drunk, and could run his dearest friend through was what induced the Spartans to inthe body; a fourth is mad for a girl,, toxicate their flaves, and thew them to and falls in love with a ftreet-walker;' their children, in order to deter them while to a fifth, the liquor serves as an from so odious a vice. . In like manner opiate, and lulls him to sleep. Shake- let the Choice Spirit, who is often feen fpeare has also thewn this variety of cha. snoring in an arined.chair in a tavern, racters with great humour. Caffio cries, or hanging his head over the pot, reiluet * Let's to butiness,' and immediately what a shocking figure he must have begins to hiccup his prayers, and belches made, when he tees the drunken beggar. out his hopes of salvation : Juftice Sin sleeping on a bulk, or rolling in the lence, who does not speak a word while kennel! he is fober, has no sooner swallowed Whoever thus confiders the motives the routing cup, than he roars out a that generally induce men to give inta çatch, and grows the noiliert man in the these excelles, and how 'ridiculous and company. It is reported to have been unhappy they are often rendered by the one of the most exquifite entertainments effects, will hardly be tempted by the of the Choice Spirits in the beginning charms of a bottle: and, indeerd, Hardof this century, to get Addison and drinking is frequently one, among the Steele together in company for the even- many evils, that arise from want of ing. Steele entertained them, till he education. The dull country Iquire, was tipsy; when the fame wine that itu. who has not taste for literary amule? pified him, only served to elevate Ad- ments, has nothing, except his dogs dison, who took up the ball just as and horses, but his bumper to divert Steele dropped it, and kept it up for the him; and the town squire fits soaking Test of the evening. They who have for the same reason in a tavern. Thele never been present at a scene of this kind, are the common herd of Bacchusos swine: may see the whole groupe of drunken but nothing is more flocking than to characters, displayed at one vieiv with fee a man of sense thus destroying his infinite humour, in Hogarth's Modern parts and conftitution. It not only Midnight Conversation.


makes a terrible innovation in his whole Thus excess of Drinking verifies all frame and intellects, but also robs hin the transformations recorded in the fa- of the society of those like himself, with ble of Circe's Cap: and perhaps the true whom he should associate, and reducir reason why Bacchus is always painted him to the level of a set of wretches; with horns, is to intimate, that wine since all may be admitted to his company turas men into beafts. Indeed, if none and conversation who are able to tots were to indulge themselves in Drinking off a bumper. except those who (like Steele and Ad- Thefe confiderations are sufficient to difon) could be witty and'agreeable in convince us of the evils which result their caps, the number of Hard-drink- from Hard-drinking: hut it will shock ers would be very happily diminished. us Aill more, if we reflect how much it Most men have so little right to plead an will influence our life and conduct. excuse of this fort in vindication of their Whoever is engaged in a profession, Drunkennels, that wine either makes will never apply to it with fuccess, while them very rude, very stupid, or very he sticks fo close to his bottle; and the mad. It is a vulgar error to fuppofe,' tradesman who endeavours to make buthat liquor only shews ill qualities, fince finess and pleasure compatible, will

never i also frequently creates them; and en- be able to make both ends meet. Thus, genders notions in the mind quite fo. whether health, fame, or interest, is rereign to it's natural disposition, which garded, Drunkenners should be avoid are the mere effets of wine, and break ed: and we may say with Caffio, ' Every out like blotches and carbuncles on the inordinate cup is unblelt, and the inface. The disgustful appearance, which gredient is a devil.'


« PredošláPokračovať »