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up a rich dowager or heirefs: after which it was very eafy for him to dupe all the raw gameters at Arthur's out of their eftates, and to take in all the Knowingones on the Turf at Newmarket. He accordingly befpoke his liveries, fettled the fashion of his chariot, and had already pitched upon the lady whofe good Juck it should be to fall in love with him: but fo uncertain is the state of a gamefter, that fince the drawing of the Lottery he has advertifed for charitable contributions to a Diftreffed Gentleman, who knows the world, and has had the honour to be intimate with most of the Nobility and Gentry in the kingdom.

I need not point out any particular inftances among the other fex, with refpect to their difpofal of the Ten Thoufand; which every lady had fecured by chuling the Ticket herfelf, taking particular care that the number fhould be an odd one. The married ladies have fufficient calls for even double this fum, to fupply them with the neceffaries of drefs, and to anfwer the expences of frequenting public divertions; and as to the unmarried ladies, they very well know the truth of that maxim in the ballad, that in ten thousand pounds ten thousand

charms are centered. Some ancient maiden ladies, who could never be brought to think of an hufband, or to give into the vanities of the world, were refolved to live retired upon their prize in the country, and leave proofs of their good difpofitions behind them, by fwelling out their Wills with a long lift of Items to this or that Charity or Hofpital.

Before I conclude, I cannot but take notice of the great generofity of my own Publifher upon getting the 10,000l. As his fuccefs was owing to his laying out in the Lottery all the profits which had already rifen from the publication of this Paper, he had determined to circulate my future numbers gratis; and had even defigned to keep open house for the reception of poor authors. Unhappily for the public, as well as my brotherwriters, Fortune has fruftrated his difinterefted fcheme: even I myself am admitted to eat his mutton but once a week; and (inftead of giving away my papers) he has advertised, that the Twelves edition of the Connoiffeur will be published on Tuefday the 25th of this inftant November, in Two Pocket Volumes, Price Six Shillings bound.

N° XCIV. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1755

MILITAVI NON SINE GLORIA.

T

HOR.

A

1 TOO FROM MARTIAL FEATS MAY CLAIM RENOWN,
THE CENSOR AND DICTATOR OF THE TOWN.

SI was going through Smithfield the other day, I obferved an old fellow with a wooden leg, dreft in a failor's habit, who courteously invited the paffer-by to peep into his raree-. fhow, for the final price of an halfpenny. His exhibitions, I found, were very well fuited to the times, and quite in character for himself: for among other particulars, with which he amufed the little audience of children that furrounded his box, I was mightily pleafed to hear the following:- There you • fee the British fleet purfuing the French fhips, which are running away There you fee Major-general Johnion beating the French foldiers in Amene, and taking Count Diefkeau pri

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foner-There you fee the Grand Monarque upon his knees before King George, begging his life. As the "thoughts of the public are now wholly turned upon war, it is no wonder that every method is taken to infpire us with a love of our country, and an abhorrence of the French King: and not only the old feaman with his raree flow, but the public theatres have likewife had a view to the fame point. At Drury Lane we have already been entertained with the Humours of the Navy; and I am affured, that at Covent Garden Mr. Barry will fhortly make an entire conquel of France, in the perfon of that owned h.io Henry the Fifth. And as the Englith are naturally fond of bloody exhi

bitions

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bitions on the ftage, I am told that a new Pantomime, entitled the Ohio, is preparing at this laft houfe, more terrible than any of it's Hells, Devils, and fiery Dragons; in which will be introduced the Indian Manner of Fighting, to conclude with a representation of the Grand Scalping Dance with all it's Horrors.

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While this warlike difpofition prevails in the nation, I am under fome apprehenfions left the attention of the public fhould be called off from the weighty concerns of these papers. I already perceive that the common newspapers are more eagerly fnatched up in the public coffee-houfes than my effays; and the Gazette is much oftener called for than the Connoiffeur. For these reasons I find it neceffary to lay open my own importance before the public, to fhew that I myself am acting (as it were) in a military capacity, and that Cenfor General Town has done his country no lefs fervice as a valiant and fkilful commander at home, than Majorgeneral Johnfon in America. Authors may very properly be faid to be engaged in a ftate of literary warfare, many of whom are taken into pay by thofe great and mighty potentates, the bookfellers; and it will be allowed, that they undergo no less hardships in the fervice, than the common foldiers who are contented to be fhot at for a groat a day.

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which are commonly to be met with in our public papers.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1755% under Major-general Hoyle, which used We hear from White's, that the forces from thence, and have fixed their win to encamp at that place, are removed letters fay, that an obftinate engagement ter quarters at Arthur's.. The fame which one party gained a great booty, was fought there a few nights ago, in and the other fuffered a confiderables lofs. We are alfo informed, that an and that feveral of the chiefs have been. epidemical distemper rages among them, carried off by a fudden death.

last week a body of Irregulars fallied They write from Covent Garden, that that neighbourhood, and committed out at midnight, ftormed feveral forts in great outrages, but being attacked by at detachment from the allied army of watchmen, constables, and justices, they taken prifoners. The plague still rages! were put to flight, and feveral of them there with great violence, as well as ins the neighbouring territories of Drury.

the Company commanded by Brigadier We hear from the fame place, that Rich has been reinforced with feveral new-railed recruits, to fupply the place of fome deferters, who had gone over to the enemy: but his chief dependance It has been my province to repel the very active, and are diftinguished, like is on the light-armed troops, which are daily inroads and incroachments made the Highlanders, by their party-coloured by vice and folly, and to guard the na-drefs. The enemy, on the other hand, tion from an invafion of foreign fop- have taken feveral Swifs and Germans peries and French fashions. The Town has been principally the scene of action; apprehenfions of their being fet upon by into pay; though they are under terrible where I have found enemies to encoun- the Critics. Thefe are a rude, ignoter with, no less formidable than the rant, favage people, who are always at Tquattotquaws or the Chickchimuck- war with the nation of Authors. Their chis of North America. But as the cu conftant manner of fighting is to begin riofity of the public is fo much engaged in the onfet with ftrange hiflings and noiles, attending to the enterprizes of old Hen- accompanied with an horrid instrument, drick the Sachem, and the incurfions of named the Cat-call; which, like the Indians who have taken up the hatchet War-hoop of the Indians, has truck a against our colonies, I am afraid that panic into the hearts of the touteft my exploits against the Savages, which heroes. infelt this metropolis, will be wholly over-looked. I have, therefore, refolved to give my readers fresh advices from time to time of what paffes here, drawn up in the fame warlike ftile and manner as thofe very alarming articles of news

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We have advice from the Butcher Row, Temple Bar, that on Monday night laft the Infidels held a grand council of war at their head quarters in the Robin Rood, at which their good friend and ally, the Mufti of Clare Market,

Alluding to the Dancers, employed in the Entertainment of the Chinese Festival, ag Drury Lane Theatre.

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affifted

affifted in perfon. After many debates, they refolved to declare war against the Christians, and never to make peace till they had pulled down all the Churches in Christendom, and established the Alcoran of Bolingbroke in lieu of the Bible.

All our advices from the city of London agree in their accounts of the great havock and flaughter made there on the Festival commonly called My Lord Mayor's Day. All the Companies in their black uniform, and the trained band in their regimentals, made a general forage. They carried off vaft quantities of chickens, geefe, ducks, and all kinds of provifions. Major Guzzledown, of the Ward of BathThaw, diftinguished himself greatly, have ing with his word in hand gallant

attacked the outworks, fealed the walls, mounted the ramparts, and forced through the covert way of a large fortified Custard, which feemed impregnable.

The inhabitants of Suffex have lately been alarmed with the apprehenfions of an Invafion; as the French have been very bufy in fitting out feveral fmall veffels laden with ftores of wine and brandy, with which it is thought they will attempt to make a defcent fome

where on our coafts. The independent Companies of Smugglers in the fervice of France are to be fent on this expedition: but if the fleet of Custom-house. finacks, &c. do not intercept them at fea, we are preparing to receive them as foon as they are landed.

From divers parts of the country we have advice, that the roads are every where crouded with Ladies, who (notwithstanding the feverity of the weather) are hurrying up to London, to be prefent at the meeting of the Female Parliament. At this critical jun&ture, the face of the nation depends entirely on the deliberations of this wife affembly: and as there are known to be many dif interested patriots in the Houfe, it is not to be doubted but that proper measures will be taken by them for the good of their country. Many falutary laws are already talked of, which we could with to fee put into execution; fuch as--A Bill for prohibiting the importation of French Milliners, Hair cutters, and Mantua-makers-A Bill for the exportation of French Cooks and French Valets de Chambres-A Bli to reftrain Ladies from wearing French DreffesAnd lastly, a Bill to refrain them from wearing French Faces,

N° XCV. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1755

1

MELLE SOPORATAM ET MEDICATIS FRUGIBUS OFFÁM
OBJICIT,

THE HONEY'D CAKE WILL LOSE IT'S SWEETNESS SOON,
AND PROVE A BITTER IN THE HONEY-MOON.

S every marriage is a kind of fa honoured with various celebrities, and distinguished like the fifth of November, the birth days of the Royal Family, or any other public day, with many demonftrations of joy: the happy couple are dreft in their richeft fuits, the bells ring all day, and the evening is concluded with the merry ceremony of throwing the stocking. But these feftiviwties are not always fo religiously obferved in Town; where many a pair of quality are tacked together with the utmett privacy, and immediately after faeak out of town, as if they were ahamed to fhew their faces after what they had done. In the Country, when

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the fquire or any other perfon of distinction

continued Carnival; and every marriage is accounted more or lefs likely to be profperous, in proportion to the number of deer, oxen, and theep, that are killed on the occafion, and the hogheads of wine and tons of ale with which they are washed down. By the laft post I received an account from my coufin Village of the wedding of a near relation, with a particular detail of the magnificence of the entertainment, the fpiendor of the ball, and the univerfal joy of the whole manor. At the fame time. I received compliments from the new. married couple, with a large flice of the Bride Cake; the virtues of which are

well

well known to every girl of thirteen. I. was never in poffeffion of this nuptial charm before: but I was fo much delighted with this matrimonial token, and it excited in my mind fo many reflections on conjugal happiness, that (though I did not lay it under my pillow) it. gave occafion to the following Dream.

for her, and which represented the figure. of a fine gentleman in gilt gingerbread.

An old fellow of fixty-two, who had ftolen one day from the business of the Alley, next came towards the Altar, and feemed to express a strong delire for a Cake. Plurus, who recollected him at firft light, immediately offered him one, which, though very mouldy and conríe, was gilt all over; but he was aftonished at the old gentleman's refufing it, and petitioning Cupid for a Cake of the most elegant form and fweetest ingredients. The little God at first repulfed him with indignation, but afterwards SOLD it to him for a large fum of money; a circumftance which amazed me beyond expreffion, but which I foon found was' very commonly practifed in this Tem ple. The old fellow retired with hist purchased prize; and though I imagined he might itill have a colt's tooth remaining, after having for fome time mumbled it between his old gums in vain, it lay by him untouched and unenjoyed..

I found myself in the middle of a fpacious building, which was crouded with a variety of perfons of both fexes; and upon enquiry was told that it was the Temple of the God of Marriage; and that every one, who had an inclination to facrifice to that Deity, was invited to, approach a large altar, which was covered with a great number of Cakes of different shapes and appearance. Some of thefe were moulded into the form of hearts; and others were woven into true lovers-knots: fome were ftrewed with fugar, and stuck about with fweet-meats; fome were covered with gold; fome were ftamped with coronets; and others had their tops embellished with glittering toys, that reprefented a fine house, a fet I was afterwards very much disgusté of jewels, or a coach and fix. Plutus and Cupid were bufily employed in difed with the many inftances that occurred tributing thefe Cakes (which were all of these delicate morfels being fer up to of them marked with the word MATRI fale: and I found that their price rofe and fell, like that of beef or mutton, MONY, and called. Bride-Cakes) to different perfons, who were allowed to according to the glut or scarcity of the chufe for themselves, according to their market. different views and inclinations,

I obferved feveral haften to the Altar, who all appeared to be variously affected by their choice. To fome the Cakes feemed of fo delicious a flavour, that they imagined they fhould never be furfeited; while others, who found the tafte very agreeable at first, in a short time declared it to be flat and infipid. However, I could not help remarking, that many more (particularly among the quality) addreffed themselves to Plutus than to Cupid.

I was particularly affected with the difpofal of the two following. A young gentleman and lady were approaching the Altar, and had agreed to take between them a Cake of a plain form but delicious flavour, marked Love and Competence; but a perfon of qua-, lity stepping forward, perfuaded the falle female to join with him, and receive from Plutus one much more glit tering, marked Indifference and a large Settlement. Another lady was com ing up with a Knight of the Bath, being tempted by a Cake with a red ribband streaming from it, like the flags on a Twelfth-Cake; but was prevailed on by a person of greater rank and diftinction to accept a more showy Cake, adorned with a blue ribband and a co

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Being defirous to take a nearer view of the company, I pushed through the crowd, and placed myself clofe by the Altar. A young couple now advanced, and applying to Cupid, defired him to reach them one of the cakes, in the shaperonet. of a double heart pierced through with darts: but just as they were going to fhare it betwixt them, a crabbed old fellow, whom I found to be the girl's -father, stepped up, broke the cake in two, and obliged the young lady to fix upon another, which Plutus picked out

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A buxom dame of an amorous.complexion came next, and begged very hard for a Cake. She had before received several, which suited her tooth, and pleafed her palate fo exceffively, that as foon as the had dispatched one, the conftantly came to Cupid for an

other.

other. She now feized her Cake with great tranfport, and retiring to a corner with it, I could difcern her greedily Tumbling the delicious morfel, though The had fairly worn out fix and twenty of her teeth in the fervice. After this an ancient lady came tottering up to the Altar, fupported by a young fellow in a red coat, with a fhoulder-knot. Plutus gave him a ftale Cake marked with the word Jointure in large golden capitals, which he received with fome reluctance, while the old lady eagerly Snatched another from Cupid, (who turned his head aside from her) on which I could plainly discover the word Dotage.

A rich rufty bachelor of the last century then came bustling through the crowd. He bought with him a redcheeked country girl of nineteen. As he approached the Altar, he met feveral coming from it with Cakes, which he and refused; fome of which were marked Riches, fomic Family, fome Beauty, and one or two Affection. The girl he brought with him proved to be his dairymaid, whom he had for fome time paft hen in vain attempting to bring over to his wifhes; but at last finding his defign impracticable, he came with her to the Altar. He feemed, indeed, a little athamed of his undertaking, and betrayed a good deal of aukwardnefs in his manner and deportment. However, as foon as he had taken his Cake, he retired; and determined to spend the reft of his days with his milch-cow in the country.

To fatisfy a modest longing, there now advanced a maiden lady in the bloom of threefcore. She had, it feems, heretofore refufed feveral offers from Cupid and Plutus; but being enraged

to find that they had now given over all thoughts of her, the feized by the hand a young Enfign of the Guards, and car.` ried him to the Altar, whence the herfelf fnatched up a Cake, and divided it with her gallant. She was highly de. lighted with the taste of it at firft; but her partner being very foon cloyed, the too late difcovered, that the half which the held in her hand was figned Folly, and that which he had forced upon her paramour was marked Averfion.

A little, pert, forward Mifs, in a frock and hanging fleeves, ran brifkly up to Cupid, and begged for a Cake:—what it was fhe did not care; but a Cake she muft and would have, of one kind or another. She had just ftretched out her hands to receive one from Cupid, when her mamma interpofed, fent the child back again blubbering to the boardingfchool, and carried off the Cake herfelf.

An old woman, fantastically dreffed, then burit into the Temple, and ran raving up to the Altar, crying out, that fhe would have an hufband. But the poor lady feemed likely to be disappointed; for, as he could prevail on no one to join hands with her, both Cupið and Plutus refufed to favour her with a Cake. Furious with rage and despair, fhe fnatched one off the Altar; and feizing on the first man that came in her way, which unfortunately happened to be myfelf, fhe would have forcibly crammed it down my throat. As the leaft crumb of it was as difagreeable as a drench to an horfe, I began to fpawl, and fputter, and keck; and though the flurry of fpirits which it occafioned awaked me, I thought I had the nau feous taste of it still in my mouth.

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