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well known to every girl of thirteen. I for her, and which represented the fgure was never in polleffion of this nuptial of a fine gentleman in gile gingerbread. charm before: but I was so much de- An old fellow of fixty-two, who hal lighted with this matrimonial token, and stolen one day from the buliness of the is excited in my mind so many reflec- Alley, next came towards the Altar, and tions on conjugai happiness, that (though seemed to express & Itrong delire for a I did not lay it under my pillow) it Cake. Plurus, who recollected him at gave occafion to the following Dream. first light, immediately offerexi him one,
I found myself in the middle of a spa.. which, though very mouidy and conrie, cious building, which was crouded with was gilt all over; but he was akonither a variety of persons of both fexes; and at the old gentleman's refusing it, and upon enquiry was told that it was the petitioning Cupid for a Cake of the most Temple of the God of Marriage; and elegant form and sweetest ingredients. that every one, who had an inclination. The little God at first repulsed him with to facrifice to chat Deity, was invited to, indignation, but afterwards sold it to approach a large altar, which was co- him for a large fum of money; a cire vered with a great number of Cakes of cuinitance which amazed me beyonce different shapes and appearance. Some expresiion, but which I foon found was of these were movided into the form of very cominonly practifed in this Tema hearts; and others were woven into true, ple. The old fellow retired with his lovers.Knots: fome were ftrewed with purchased prize; and though I imagined fugar, and stuck about with sweet-meats; he might itill have a colt's tooth refome were covered with gold; some were maining, after having for some time ftamped with coronets, and others had mumbled it between his old gums in their cops embellished with glittering vain, it lay by him untouched and untoys, that represented a fine house, a set enjoyed. of jewels, or a coach and fix. Plutus I was afterwards very much disguita and Cupid were busily employed in difo ed with the many intances that occurred tributing these Cakes (which were all of these delicate morsels being fer up to of theni marked with the word Matri: fale: and I found that their price rose MONY, and called Bride-Cakes) to and, fell, like that of beef or mutton, different persons, who were allowed to according to the glut or scarcity of the chule for themselves, according to their market. I was particularly affected different views and inclinations, with the disposal of the two following.
I observed several hasten to the Altar, A young gentlemap and lady were apwho all appeared to be variously affected proaching the Altar, and had agreed to by their choice. To some the Cakes take between them a Cake of a plain seemed of so delicious a flavour, that forini but delicious flavour, marked Love they imagined they should never be sur- and Competence; but a person of qua. feited; while others, who found the taste lity ftepping forward, persuaded the very agreeable at first, in a Mort time falle female to join with hins, and redeclared it to be flat and insipid. How- ceive from Plutus one much more glita ever, I could not help remarking, that tering, marked Indifference and a large many more (particularly among the Settlement, Anorber lady was com, quality) addrelled themselves to Plutus ing up with a Knight of the Bath, bethan to Cupid,
ing tempted by a Cake with a red ribBeing defrous to take a nearer view band fireaming from it, like the flags of the company, I pushed through the on a Twelfth-Cake; but was prevailed crowd, and placed inyfelf close by the on by a person of greater rank and difAltar. A young couple now advanced, tinction to accept a more Showy Cake, and applying to Cupid, desired him to adorned with a blue ribband and a coreach them one of the cakes, in the haperonet.
ibivi Sehun of a double heart pierced through with A buxom dame of av amorous comdarts: but just as they were going to plexion came next, and begged very share it betwixt them, a crabbed old hard for a Cake. She had before refellow, whom I found to be the girl's ceived several, which suited her tooth, father, tepped up, broke the cake in and pleased her palate so excessively, . two, and obliged the young lady to fix that as soon as the had dispatched one, upon another, which Plutus picked out the constantly came to Cupid for an. other. She now seized her Cake with to find that they had now given over alt great transport, and retiring to a corner thoughts of her, she seized by the hand with it, I could difcern her greedily a young Ensign of the Guards, and car.' mumbling the delicious morse!, though ried him to the Altar, whence she hershe had fairly worn out six and twenty felt sna:ched up a Cake, and divided it of her teeth in the fervice. After this with her gallant. She was highly de. an ancient lady came tolering up to the lighted with the taste of it at first; but Altar, supported by a young fellow in her partner being very soon cloyed, the a red coat, with a moulder-knot. Plus too late discovered, that the half which tus gave him a Itale Cake marked with he held in her hand was signed Folly, the word Jointure in large goklen capi- and that which she had forced upon her tals, which he received with some re
parainour was marked Averfion. luétance, while the old lady eagerly. A little, pert, forward Miss, in a frock fnatched another from Cupid, (who and hanging sleeves, ran briskly up to turne I his head aside from her) on which Cupid, and begged for a Cake:-what it I could plainly discover the word Dot- was she did not care; but a Cake the age.
must and would have, of one kind or A rich rusty bachelor of the last ceno' another. She had just it'etched out her tury then came bustling through the hands to receive one from Cupid, when crowd. He brought with him a red- her mamma interposed, sent the child cheeked country girl of nineteen. As back again blubbering to the boardinghe approached the Altar, he met several school, and carried off the Cake her. coming from it with Cake, which he self, au refuted; some of which were marked An old woman, fantastically dressed, Riches; some Family, some Beauty, and then burit into the Temple, and ran one or two Affection. The girl he raving up to the Altar, crying out, that brought with him proved to be his dairy- The would have an husband. But the mid, whom he had for some time pait poor lady seemed likely to be disappointhen in vain atteinpting to bring over ed; for, as she could prevail on no one foliis wishes; but at lalt finding his de- to join hands with her, both Cupid and ugn impracticable, he came with her to Plutus refused to favour her with a the Altar. He teemed, indeed, a listie Cake. Furious with rage and despair, alhamed of his undertaking, and be- me fnatched one off the Altar; and fraved a good deal of aukwardness in seizing on the first man that came in her his manner and deportment. However, way, which unfortunately happened to as foon as he had taken his Cake, he be myself, she would have forcibly serired; and determined to spend the rest crammed it down my throat.' As the of his days with his milch.cow in the jeait crumb of it was as difagreeable 23 country.
a drench to an horse, I began to spaw!, . To satisfy a mociest longing, there, and sputter, and keck; and though the now advanced a maiden lady in the furry of spirits which is occasioned bloom of threescore. She had, it seems, awaked me, I thought I had the nauheretofore refuted several offers from seous taste of it still in my inouth. Cupid and Plutus; but being enraged
No XCVI. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1755.
WOULD YOU THE NAME OF AUTHOR NOT REFUSE,
TO MR. TOWN.
branch I shall retain a very eminent Master Novelist, to cut out adventurea.
and intrigues, and Mall employ a proA
MONG the many Register. Of. per number of lands to tack them io-, paft, I am surprised that no scheme of dition: and if any ladies of quality, or the like nature has been thought of for others, chure to furnish their own matethe service of literature; and that no rials for Memoirs and Apologies, they place has been fet apart where Literary may have them dore up, and be fitted Conmodities of every fort might be dif. exaGly, at my Office. Belides leveral posed of: where men of learning might others, which my men Mall get up willa meet with employment; and where others, the greatest dispatch, I can alimre
I who want their assistance, might be sure have myself worked night and day, and. to meet with men of learning. There bave already finished lix and thirty fceis is nothing of this kind in being at pre- of the History of Miss Sukey Sapling, fent, except among the booksellers; who, Written by Herself. indeed, have made a monopoly of the Pamphlets of all sorts hall be com a trade, and engrossed the whole market posed, whenever any popular lubject to themselves. To remedy this incon. Iarts up that is likely to engage the ata venience, my design is to set up a Lite- tention of the public. Every new play rary Regifter-Office: for which purpose thall be followed by an Examen or Re's I intend to hire the now useless theatre marks: all riots at either playhouse will in Lincoln's Inn Fields, and convert it afforil scope for Letters to the Managers; into a mart for the faple commodities and every new acłor or actress produce of the literary commonwealth. I shall theatrical Criticisms. Poetry, you know, here fit up apartments for the reception Mr. Town, is a mere drug; but I Mall of my authors, who will be employed always have a number of ready made from time to time in supplying the pub- Odes by me, which may be suited to lic with the requisite manufactures. any great man, «lead or alive, in place This scheme will, I doubt not, meet or out of place. I shall also liave a large with great encouragement, as it is of bundle of Poems on several Occasions, general veility: and I do not remember very proper for any gentleman or lady any design of the same nature, except at who chules to putslitli by subscrip:ion; a barber's on the other side the water, bcfides a more ordinary sort of Hymns who has hung out a board over his hop to the Morning; Verses on the Death with the following inscription- Letter's
; Oles to Mlits A. B. C. Acro. 'read and written for Servants and flies and Rebules, for the use of the • Others.'
Magazines; to be fold a pennywortli, I shall always have a fresh asortment witli allowance to those who take a great of goods in the best taste and newett fa. quantity. thion: as of Novels for example, while With regard to Law matters, as they thie humour of reading them is prevalent have no fuit of connection with wit os anong all ranks of people.' For this learning, I hail noi concern myself wita
their unintelligible jargon ; nor presume tomimes inay be had, to set to the clack to interfere with those authors in parch- of a mill, the tinkling of a tin cascade, ment, who measure their words by or the Alaps of Harlequin's wooden the foot rule, and fell their writings sword. The proprietors of our public at so much per line. However, I Gardens, rluring the summer season, may fall furnith young Students of the be also supplied from my Office with several Inns of Court with compleat Love-ditties to a new Burthen, or comic Canons of Criticism, and Opinions on Dialogues in Crambo; and words thall any new theatrical Cases; on which they at any time be fitted to the music, after may argue very learnedly at a tavern, the tunes are composed. or plead at the bar of a coffee house. As I propose to inake my Office of For Medical subjects, I Mall procure a general utility, every thing that bears learned Graduate by Diploma from the least affinity to literature will be naabroad, whose practice will not to much turally comprehended in my Scheme. take up his time as to prevent his being Members of Parliament may be fuppli-d at leisure to write occasional treatifes, with Speeches on any political fubje&t; letting forth the virtues of any newlu; and Country Justices may, on directing invented Powder, or newly-discovered a letter (post-paid) to the Office, have Water. He shall also draw up the ade Charges to the Jury at the Quarter Ses. vertisements for medicines that reinove fions sent down to them by the first all diseases, and are never known to fail; coach or waggon. Addretles on partihe shall 'compile the wonderful accounts cular occasions shall be drawn up for the of their surprising cures; and furnish worshipful Mayor and Aldermen of any cases that never happened, and affidavits city or corporation : Laws, Rules, Rethat were never made. With respect to gulations, or Orders, thall be formed Divinity, as I have reason to believe for the Anti Gallicans, Ubiquarians, that controverfial writings will be often Gregorians, or any other private clubs called for, I intend to bargain with the and societies. N.B. The Free Masons Robin Hood Society to undertake in may depend upon secrecy. the lump to furnith my Office with de- Many advantages may likewise acfences of Lord Bolingbroke, &c. and crue to the polite world from the eltatill I can procure fome poor curate out blishment of iny Office. Gentlemen and of the country, or servitor from the unie ladies may have billet doux written for versity, to write the Manuscript Ser. them with the most soft and languishing mons of eminent Divines lately deceased, expressions: Message Cards, and Invita warranted Originals, I must make shift tions to Routs, shall be filled up and with the Fleet Parlons now out of bu- circulated, at so much per hundred, or finess.
undertaken in the grols at a fixed price Though I shall not keep any drama. all the year round. Beaux may be actic works ready made by me, (as these commodated with letters of gallantry to commodities are apt to grow itale and send to their laundresses, or have them out of fashion) yet either of the thea. copied out in a fashionable feinale scrawl, tres may be served with tragedy, come. and directed to themselves. Gentlemen dy, farce, or the like, by bespeaking who love fighting, but cannot write, thern, and giving but three days notice. may have challenges penned for them For the comic pieces I shall employ a in the true file and spirit of a modern poet who has long worked for the drolls Blood. at Bartholomew and Southwark fairs, There are many other conveniencies and has even printed a comedy, as it arifing from such an Office, which it was half a&ted at Drury Lane. My would be too tedious to enumerate : and tragedies will be furnished by a North- it will be found to be no less beneficial Briton, who walked up to London from to you authors, Mr, Town, than those his native country latt winter with a most other Register-Offices are to men and fublime tragedy in his coat-pocket, and maid-Servants. If an author, for exwhich is now to be disposed of to the belt ample, wants employment, or is out of bidder. Any old play of Shakespeare place, he has nothing to do but to enter or Ben Johnson fhall be pieced with his name with me, and I shall presently modern ones according to th: present get lim work; or if a bookseller wants tatte, or cut out in airs and recitative an hand for any particular job, (as a for an English Opera. Songs for Pan- translation-spinner, a novel-weaver, a
play-wricht, a verse turner, or the like) If that fiould happen to come upon you upon fearching my books he will be lura . this week, and you have nothing better, to meet with a man fit for the business. you will oblige ine by laying the Scheme In short, any compofition, in prose or here sunt before your readers; and in rhyme, and on any subject, may be pro- return, you shall have the credit of pubcured at a minute's warning, by apply. lifhing your papers at my O fice, as foon ing to my office; and I dare lry, you as it is opened, and welcome. yourlelf, Mr. Town, will be very glad. now and then to purchase a Conno fleur
I am, Sir, your humble servant, of me, whenever the idle fit feizes you.
No XCVII. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1755.
DE TE PENDENTIS, TE RESPICIENTIS AMICI.
I Remembered to have hemeron a continue
mine, who was formerly at Cim- prey of kaves, the wealthy maintaineis hridge, often mentioring a fect of Phi. of this fraternity are generally none of lofophers, distinguibed by the rest of the wifeft: and as at the University, the collegians under the appellation of where the learned pare ducks to the Tuft-bunters. There were not the dif- gollen fool,' the gentleinan-Student is ciples of the Siocs or Epicureins, or the distinguished by a cap with a gold cuft, advocates for the o'd or new philotophy, I always contider these tons of folly in but the followers (literally speaking) of town as adorned with a showy cap bung the fellow commoners, noblem n, and with bells, which ferve áo once to de other rich studen's, whom it leerns the note the depth of their parts, and to call courtesy of the Unversity has honoured their train about them. with a cap adorned with a gold tallel. The dialect of the Town has very These god ihreads have almost as much expressively characterized these humble influence in the Un verfity, as a red or drpendants on men of fortune by the a blue ribband at court; and always naine of. Hangers-on. They will, indraw atter the wearer a train of humbie deed, take Juch ture hold, and hang on composons, who will be at his call to a man lo constantly, that it is almost breakfait, line, or fup with him, when. impoffible to drop them. Whenever ever he pleases; will go wirn him any the gentleman appears, the Hanger on where, drink with him, wench with is fure to be at his elbow. They will hin, borrow his money, or let him pay squeeze themselves into every party that their reckoning. They are, I am told; is formed; and I have known instances a fort of disease of the place, which a of their thrusting themselves into strange man of fortune is sure to catch as foon families, by sticking to their patron's as he arrives there, and these faft friends skirts, and impudentiy introducing them. stick so close to him, 'that he can rever selves where he has been invited to dinfhake them off while he keeps his gown ner: which, indeed, I think would not on his back.
be an improper custom, provided they The University of London is not with would submit to stand behind his chair. out it's Tuft-bunters, who falten, like They will stick so closely, that all the leeches, on a young man of forrune at adhesive qualities of burs, pitch, &c. his fift coming to town. They befet seem to be collected in them; and the him as soon as he arrives, and when they line in Pope's Odyssey, so often ridihave once surrounded him, feldom fail culed, may rather be considered as emof securing h:m to themselves; for no "phasis than tautology in speaking of persons of character care to have any them. The Hanger-on clings to his connections with him, when he has been fool, as Ulyfies did to the rock, and in frequently seen in such bad company. Pope's words-It is a great misfortune for any young They STICK ADHERENT, and SUSPENDED gentleman to fall into their hands :