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the Lady Isabel's Saltire in Chief, or only overheard her ladyship at high words her Sinister Corners; she being one of with her coachman in my entry; when the seventeen coleireiles of iny great Nepping to the stair-cafe, I found that great great great great grandfather's the coachman, and her ladyship, reprefourth wife Dorothy, the daughter and sented in the person of one of my housesole heireis of Simon de la Frogpool of maids, were iquabbling together about Croakhain in Sufiolk. This unexpec. fixpence. This badge of nobility, al. ed vilit must have disconcerted me to an sumed at random according to the fancy invincible degree, if upon recollection I of the coach-painter, I have found inhad not only remembered Mr. Rouge convenient on other occasions: for I Dragon as a conitant companion to my once travelled from London to Derby late brother, but as a kind of tutor in in an hired chariot finely ornamented initiating him into the Science of He- with a Viscount's cypher and coronet; raldry, and the Civil and Military At- by which noble circun:itance I was com. chievements, to which our nobility and pelled in every inn to pay as a Lord, gentry are entiiled. As soon, therefore, though I was not at that time even a as I could recover myself from my first simple Baronet, or (in the language of furprize in hearing an unknown English my friend M:. Dragon) arrived to the language, I humbly thanked Mr. Drae dignity, of a Vavafour. gon for the pains he had taken in con- I have sometimes doubted, whether lidering my Coafof Arms fo minutely, nobility and high rank:'are of that real but hoped he would give himnieli no far. advantage which they are generally ther trouble upon my account; because eiteemed to be; and I am almost inclined I. was fully determined to bear the plain to think, that shey answer no desi abie Shield of my grandfather Peter, without end, but as far as they indulge our va. taking the leait notice of Lady, Itabel's nity and oftentation. A long roll of Saltire in Chief, or even of her Sinisier ennobled anceiturs makes, I conteíš, a Corners.
very alluring appearance. To see coBe it to my shame or not, I must con- renet aiter coronet passing before our fels that Heraldry is a Science which I view.in, an uninterrupted fucceffion, is have never much cultivated; nor do I the most soothing prospect that perhaps find it very prevalent a inong the fashion. can prefentitled to the eye of human able studies of the, age.va Arms, and pride: the exultation that we feel upon Arinorial Tokens, may, I suppose, be such a review, takes sile in a vifunary regularly ditinguished, and property and secret piece of Mattery, that as gloria einblazoned, upon the family plate to 01$, and as long, or even a longer line which they belong: but I have stierved of future coronets may spring from our. of late, that these honourable enligns felves, as have defcen-led from our Anare not connned entirely to their proper ceitors. We read in Virgil, that Anowners, but are usurped, by every body chiles, to inspire his son with the prowho thinks fit to take them; intomuch pereft incitemenis
, to virtue; thews him a that iliere is scarce an hackney coach in long race of kings, emperors, and be: London which is not in pofteition of a
roes, to whom Eneas is fore-doomed Dacai Creit, an Eari's Coronet, or a to give their origin; and the mifery of Buronet's Blooly Hand., This, indeed, - Macbeth is made by Shakelpeare do prohas often given me great offence, as it ceed less from the conicicutiefs of guilt, reflects a icandal on our nobility and than from the disappointed pride that gentry; and I cannot but think it very none of his own race thall succeed him indecent for a Duke's'coach to be seen in the throne. waiting at a night cellar, or for a Caun.
The pride of ancelry, and the desire tess's landau to iu down ladies at the , of continuing our lineage, when they door of a common bawiły-house, tend to an inditement of virtuous and member I was one moming dilterbed at noble actions, are undoubiedly laud. my breakfalt by a fashionable rap at my able; and I thould perhaps have indulged dvor; when looking qut at my window, myself in the pleasing reflection, had not I saw the coach of the Lady Dowager a particular story in a French Novel,
mediawn up before it. I was ex- which I lately met with, put a ftop to tremely durprized at to early and unex- all vain glories that can posibly be dez pected a visit from her Ladyship; and duced from a long race of progenitors. while I was preparing to receive her, I LA Nobleman of an ancient houte, of
' very branches
very high rank and great fortune,' liance with the daughter of a city.
He had not been owners have no other merit to recon-
rogues, and piferers! How much am vants, in the absence of their misters,
housekeeping drew fuch crowds of kitchen or itables. For this reason, I
nobility, gertry, and friends to your have thought proper to present iny reader
may be fo bold, what crime has their virtues.
affembly?"" Ah, Thomas,” re- kennels, is very ancient and noble,
Mazarine. He was son of a Prince " fter, and cheating the widows and of the Blood, his mother one of the " fatherlets, rolely to enrich, and pur. M fdames of France: this family is "chase rirles, honours, and estates, for therefore related to the most illuitrions " that ungrateful rascal, my only lon. Maitres d'Hotel and Valets de Chambre “ Bit prithee, Thomas, tell me, as of shat kingituit. Jacques had itlure two " thou didit always leem to be an ho- Sons, viz, Robert an i Paul; of whom " neft, careful, sober servant, what Piul, the youngest, was invested with " brought tice nither?”—“ Alas! my the purple before he was eighteen, and " noble lord," replied Thomas, " I irade a Bishop, ard fown after became was sent hither for begetung that an Archith sp. Robert, the elder, came
to be a Doki, but died without issue: I am, Sir, your most humble servant, Piu', the Arcanihop, left behind him an REGINALD FIT ZWORM. only daughter, Barbara, hale-born, who
was afterwards Maid-of. Honour; and I mult agree with my correspondent, intermarrying with a Lord of the Bedthat the study of Heraldry is ai present chamber, had a very numerous issue by in very little repute among us: and our him; viz. Rebecc), born a weck after nobility are more anxious about preserv. their marria e, and died young; Jo. ing the genealogy of their horfes, than seph, firit a' squire, afterwards Knightof their own family. Whatever value ed, Hinh Sheriff' of a County, and Co. their progen.tors may have formeriy set lon ljetne Militia; Peter, raised from upon their Blood, it is now found to be a Coin Poy to a Lord of the Almiralof no value, when put into the scale and i William, a Figgot in the Firit Re. weighed against folid plebeian gold: nor giment of Guards, and a Brigadier; would the most illuitrious defcendant Toomas, at forft an Eari's Eldelt Son, and from Cadwallader, or the Irish Kings, afterwards a Brewer, and Lord Mayor Icruple to debase his lineage by an als of the City or London. The several
branches of this family were no less di. Honour, was disinised with a big belly; ftinguished for their illustrious progeny. Brigadier William was killed by a ChairJacques, the founder, firit quartered lace man in a pitched battle at an ale-house; on his cort, and Robert avled the the Lord of the Admiralıy was trans. shoulder-knot. Some of them, indeert, ported for seven years; and Duke Ro. met with great troulle: Archbishop bert had the misfortune to be hanged Paul loft his See for retting a cook- at Tyburn. mard with child; Barbara, the Maid of
No CH. THURSDAY, JANUARY 15, 1756.
TO MR. TOWN.
continual dirtiness, that my house may
be clean; for during these nice opera I
An married to a larly of a very nice tions every apartment is stowed with
and delicate disposition, who is cried soap, brick - duft, fand, fcrubbingup hy all the good women of her ac- brushes, hair brooms, rag-mops, and quaintance, for being the Neatej? Body dith-clouts. in ker House they ever knew. This, You may suppose that the greatest Sir, is my grievance: this extraordinary care is taken to prevent the lealt speck Namess is so very troublefoine and dil- of dirt froin fuiling the floors. For this guiting to me, that I proteit I bail rather reason all that come to our house (belodge in a carrier's inn, or take up my fides the ceremony of Icraping at the abode with the horles in the stables. door) are obliged to rub their shoes for
It muit be confeffed that a due regard halt an hour on a large ragged mat at to Neatness and Cleanliness is as necel- the entrance; and then they must stradfary to be observed in our habitations as dle their way along several lesser mats, our persons: but though I should not ranged at due distances from each other chute to have any bands begrined like in the passage, and (like boys at play) a chunney-fweeper's, I would not, like come into the room with an hop, a step, the superstitious Mahometans, waih thein and a jump. The like caution is used fix times a day; and though I fould by all the family: I myself am Scarce be loth to roll in a pig-tye, yet I do not allowed to ftir a step without flippers; like to have my houte rendered useless my wife creeps on tip-toe up and down to me under the pretence of keeping it stairs; the maid-fervants are continually clean.
stumping below in clogs or pattens; and For my own part, I cannot see the the footman is obliged to sneak about difference between having an lioufe that the house bare-fooied, as if he came with is always dirty, and an houte that is a fly design to steal fomething. always to be cleaned. I could very After what has been said, you will willingly compound to be wathed out naturally conclude that my wife must of my home, with other matters of fa- be no less nice in other particulars. But milies, every Saturday nighi; but my as it is observed by Swift,' that a nice wife is to very notable, that the fanie man is a man of nafty ideas,' in like cieansing work must he repeated every manner we may affirm, that your very day in the week. All the morning neat people are the inolt lloveniy on Jong I am sure to be entertained with the many occasions. They cannot conceive domeitic concert of scrubbing the floors, that any thing which is done by fuch scouring the irons, and bealing the car- delicate persons can pallibiygive offence: pits; and I am conitantly hunted from Ihave, therefore, often been in pain for room to roon, while one is to be duftead, my wife, when I have seen her, before anoiner dry-rubbed, another washed, company, dust the tea cups with a foul and anot er run over with a dry mop. apron or a washing gown; and I have Thus, indeed, I may be laid to live in more than once bluded for her, when,
through her extreme cleanlinesi, she has and I live with every convenience at not been contented without breathing hand, without the poiver of enjoying one into our drinking-glasses, and after- of them. I have elegant apartments, wards wiping them with her pocket but am almost afraid to enter them; I handkerchief. People, Mr. Town, who have plate, china, and the most gentcel are not very intimate with families, lela furniture, but must not use them; which dom see them (especially the female is as ridiculous an absurdity, and almost part) but in disguise : and it will be as great an hardlhip, as if I had hands readily allowed, that a lady wears a very without the power of moving them; the different aspect when the comes before organs of fight, smell, tafte, without becompany, than when the first ats down ing luffered to exert them; and feet withto her toilet. My wife appears decent out being permitted to walk. enough in her apparel to those who Thus, Sir, this extravagant passion visit us in the afternoon ; but in the for Cleanliness, so predominant in my morning the is quite another figure. wife, keeps the family in a perpetual Her usual dishabille then is, an ordinary state of muck and dirt; and while we stuff jacket and petticoat, a double clout are furrounded with all necessaries, subthrown over her head and pinned under jects us to every inconvenience. But her chin, a black greasy bonnet, and a
what makes it till a greater grievance coarse dowlas apron; so that you would is, that it has been the ridiculous cause rather take her for a chair-woman. of many other misfortunes. I have Nor, indeed, does she scruple to stoop sometimes created her anger by littering to the meanett drudgery of such an oc- the room with throwing my garters on a cupation: for so great is her love of chair, or hanging my peruque on one Cleanliness, that I have often seen her of the gilt sconces. Having once unon her knees scouring the hearth, and luckily spilt a bottle of ink on one of Spreading dabs of vinegar and fuller's the best carpets, she was irreconcileable earth over the boards.
for a month; and I had scarce brought This extraordinary solicitude in my her to temper again, when I most unfore wife for the cleanliness of her rooms, tunately ran against the footman, who and the care and preservation of her fur- was entering with the dinner, and threw niture, makes my house entirely uselets, down a leg of pork and peale-pudding and takes away all that ease and faini. on the parlour floor. This superabun. liarity which is the chief comfort of dant neatness did once also very nearly one's own home. I am obliged to make occasion my deaths; for while I lay ill of fhift with the most ordinary accommo- a fever, my delicate wife, thinking it dations, that the more handsome pieces would refreh me, ordered my bedof furniture may remain unsoiled, and chamber to be mopped: and the faine be always set out for Mew and magnifi. fcrupulous nicety was also the means of cence. "I am never allowed to eat from our losing a very considerable addition any thing better than a Delft plate, that to our fortune. the economy of the beaufait, which is A rich old uncle, on whom we had embellished with a variety of China, great dependance, came up to town lait may not be disarranged: and indeed my summer on purpole to pay us a visit: wife prides herfelt particularly on her but though he had rode above fixty ingenious contrivance in this article, miles that day, he was obliged to stand having ranged among the rest fome old in the passage till his boots were pulled China not fit for use, but disposed in off, for fear of foiling the Turkey car: such a manner, as to conceal the areaks pet. After supper the old gentleman, of white paint that cement the broken as was his constant practice, defired to pieces together. I must drink my heer have his pipe: but this you may be sure out of an earthen mug, though a great could by no means he allowed, as the quantity of plate is conitantly displayed filthy stench of the tobacco wouid never on the side-board; while all the furni. be gotten out of the furniture again; ture, except when we have company, is and it was with much ado that my wife done up in paper, as if the family, to would even fuffer him to go down and whom it belongs, were gone into the smoke in the kitchen. We had no rooni country. In a word, Sir, any thing to lodge him in, except a garret with that is decent and cleanly is too good to nothing but bare walls; because she be utal, for fear it should be dirtied; Chints bed-chamber was, indeed, too nice for a dire country squire. These of the whip, but infilled upon having
in his seiy ich chagrined my good the criminal hanged up afterwards; when unele: but he had not been with its the master interposing in his behalf, it above a day or iwo, before my wife and produced such high words between he came to an open quarrel on the fol- them, that my uncle ordered his horle, loving occafion. It happened that he and swore he would never darken our had brought a favourite pointer with doprs again as long as he breathed. He him, who at his first coming was imme- went hoine, and about iwo months after diately locked up in the coal-hele: but died: but as he could not forgive the the dor having found means to escape, ill treatment which both he and his dog had crept dily up Itairs, and (hefides had met with at our house, he had al. other marks of his want of delicacy) tered his will, which before he had made had very calmly itretched himself ot entirely in our favour. upon a crimson damakk setree. My wife
I am, Sir, your humble servant, not oniy sentenced him to the discipline T
N° CIV.' THURSDAY, JANUARY 22, 1756.
"HE use of language is the ready of conversation than is contained in the
communication of our thoughts bag of the noted Yeates, or any other to one ar.other. As we cannot produce light-of-hand artist: he could not speak the objects which raise ideas in our of a chicken or an owl, but it must be minds, we use worils, which are made ready in his pocket to he produced. In signs of those objects. No man could fuchia case, we could not say we heard, otherwise convey tv another the idea of but we saw the convertition of a friend; a tableor chair', wiilout pojoting 10 those as in the epistotary correipon lence, carpieces of furniture; as children are ried on byticí prerry bieroglyphic lettaught to remember the names of things ters (as they are called), where the picby looking at their pictures. Thus, if ture of a deer and a woman finely drej I wantid to mention King Charles on is made to itand for the exprellion of horseback, I must carry my companion dear lady. to Charing Cross; and would I next tell But the invention of words has re. him of the statue of Sir John Barnard, moved thele difficulties; and we may we must trudge back again, and he mult talk not only of any thing we have seen, wait for my meaning till we got to the but wbat neither we nor the perlons to Royal Exchange. We shouid be like whom we speak ever taw. Thus we the fages of Lapuia, who (as Gulliver can convey to another the idea of a hat-' tells 11) having subfituted things 'for tle, without being reduced to the difwords, used to carry about them such agreeable neceility of leirning in from zbings as were necessary to express the the cannon's mouth: ard we can talk paruicular buliness they were to discourse of the people in the world of the moon, on, I have often beheld,' says he, without being obliged to make use of
two of those sages almost finking un. Bishop Wilkins's artificial wings to fly der the weiglit of their packs, like thither. Words, therefore, in the ore
pedlars among us: who, when they 'dinary coulse of life, ich ke the pipes. • met in the streets, would lay down money among mercharts, invented as • their loads, open their facks, and hold a more ready conveyance, by which the • conversation for an hour together; largelt tuon can be trantia:ited to the
then put up their implements, help molt diitant place with as niuch eada • each other to resume their burthens, as a letter; willie the tanie in specie ' and take their leave.' In thele cir- would require bags and chelis, and even cuwitances a nan of the fewift words carts or fuips, to inanipuot it, bute could not, indeed, talk without carry- however grvat chef: avvantages are, the ing about him a much larger apparatus ule of language has brought along witla