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twelvemonth he delivered the fame lady, who ftill continued in a state of virginity, of another falfe conception, like the former; and for many years after, this prodigy of a virgin had feveral other montrous and preternatural births of the fame kind. He further affures me, that he has fince very frequently met with these phenomenas; and that the only difference between maids and married women in this point is, that the former do not manifeft the figns of pregnancy fo fully in their wailts, nor do they cry out fo vehemently in their labour-pains; and it is remarkable that they never chufe to fuckle their children.

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is to marry. Sir John Brute bluntly declares, that, if he was married to an hogfhead of clarer, the thought of Matrimony would make him hate it. Thus, in general, the very names of Wife and Hufband are fufficient to destroy all affection: and it was but a day or two ago that I met with a sprightly young gentleman much of the fame opinion with Sir John; who being reproached for neglecting his lady for a mistress, and reminded that Man and Wife were one flesh, replied, that it was very true, and what pleasure could he have in touching his own fieth? Modern Wedlock, therefore, may be rather faid to divide than unite: at least, if matrimony ever brings folks together for a time, it is only to feparate them more effectually as, according to the principles of action and re-action, where two bodies are drawn together by a violent attraction they immediately fly off, and are driven back again from each other, by the prin ciples of repulfion.

It is vulgarly fuppofed, that the events of Gaming are regulated by blind chance and fortune: but the wife and polite, that is, the Knowing Ones, cannot but smile at the abfurdity of this notion; though even the fagacious Hoyle and Demoivre themselves, by the nicety of their calculations of chances, feem to have adopted this ridiculous doctrine, The profeffors at Arthur's, and the ex- It may be well called a Vulgar Error perienced adepts in the mysteries of fince none but the Vulgar think fo, that Gaming, kindly condescend to give lefthe Sabbath is a day of rest. It is, fons, at reasonable rates, to thofe noas experience teaches us, a day of bufi. vices who imagine that the events of nefs with fome, of pleasure with others, play, like thofe of war, are uncertain: but of reft with none. It is true, in and fo cogent is, their method of in- deed, that a ceffation from worldly oc ftruction, that they never fail to con-cupations, together with roast beef and vince their pupils, that fuccefs at dice, plumb pudding, were formerly the cha as well as bowls, depends upon a skil-racteristics of the Sabbath in England a ful management of the Biafs, and that the cards are not shuffled by the blind

hand of fortune.

It is a notion confined wholly to the Vulgar, that Matrimony brings people together: but it is notorious, that in higher life a Marriage is the most effectual method to keep them asunder. It is impolite for a man and his wife ever to be feen together in public; and a perfon of quality had rather enjoy a tête-àfete with any body's wife but his own, in private. Genteel couples have feparate amusements, pay separate vifits, keep feparate company, lie in feparate beds, and (like the man and woman in a weather-house) are never seen together: nay more, if they are very gen. teel indeed, the lady has her feparate maintenance. On the contrary, if a man of fashion has a tendre for an unmarried lady, they refide in the fame houfe, partake of the fame diverfions, and obferve every other article of the frictest cohabitation. The furest way of diffolving a connection of this fort

but these inactive principles are now entirely out of fashion; nor do I know any perfon, who is strictly debarred from exercifing his employment on that day, except the Sheriff's Officer. The exact citizen, nicely calculating the damages he would fuftain, on an average, by the lofs of the feventh part of his time, de frauds the Sabbath of it's due right, as be cheats his customers, in the way of trade. As to people of quality, they, I fuppofe, (duly confidering how prodigal they are of their lives by adhering to the polite fyftem) are willing to hufband the little time allotted them, by adding night to day, and Sunday. to the week.'*

If Old Woman was not a term frequently made ufe of by the perverfe and impolite multitude, I should hardly attempt to prove fo clear and obvious & propofition, as that there is no fuck

thing in the creation as an Old We man. Old Women are, indeed, mentioned by fame few Writers: but I have always looked upon their existence

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to be as chimerical, as that of the Brobdignags or the Yohoes; and I do not be lieve, that there has ever been fuch an animal in nature fince the Flood. In the prefent diftant period we are unable to conceive the leaft idea of fuch a creature, as the fame appearance of youth, the fame lilies and rofes bloom on the faces of the whole fex. For a proof of this, if we look round at the opera, the playhoufe; a lady's route, or any other aflembly, we may obferve, that all our giris, whether of a smaller, or of a larger growth, affume the fame air of gaiety and intrigue, and wear the fame complexions. A limner of great business has often declared to me, that though he has had several mothers, and grandmothers, and great grand-mothers fit on him, he never yet drew the picture of an Old Woman. Medea is faid to have renewed the youth and vigour of her father Ælon by boiling him with certain magic herbs in a cauldron: but I will not prefume to fay, that our ladies are preferved from old-age by flewing in a copper; or that, according to a more modern notion, Old Women are

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ground young again by a mill. This, however, is certain; that youth, as well as beauty, is the perpetual prerogative of the female sex; and that age, though it fits venerable on a man, would no more become a lady than a beard.

In an age fo enlightened as the prefent, when we have thrown off all other mean prejudices of nature and education, it is no wonder that we should difcard the Gofpel; and. I am almoft in doubt, whether I fhould mention the belief of it as a Vulgar Error, fince it daily lofes it's credit among us. Wherefore, if I may not be allowed to fet down the belief in a God, a Saviour, a Future State, the Immortality of the Soul, &c. &c. as prevailing Errors, I cannot omit fo fair an opportunity of congratulating my cotemporaries on their having overcome them. Nor can I better conclude this paper, than by an hint to my friends, the Freethinkers, cautioning them to confider, whether, if we were made by chance, the world was made by chance, and every thing elie was made by chance, there may not alfo be an Hell by chance!

N° CX. THURSDAY, MARCH 4, 1756.

CONTRACTA MELIUS PARVA CUPIDINE
VECTIGALIA PORRIGAM.

HOR.

VIRTUE SHALL GO SCOT-FREE; OUR NEW EXCISE
FROM VICE AND FOLLY SHALL RAISE LARGE SUPPLIES.

TO MR. TOWN.

VERY Erglifhman, who has the good of his country at heart, muft lament the perplexity which our minifters labour under, in contriving ways and means to raife money for the prefent exigence of affairs. I have with pleature bearkened to the feveral projects proposed in the debates of patriots in our coffee-houfes and private clubs: but though I find they are unanimous in alJowing the neceffity of levying new taxes, every one is willing to fhift off the burden from himself.

I was introduced the other night into a fer of worthy citizens, who very zea❤ lously took this fubject into confideration over their evening pipe. One of them, a grave gentleman, pulling the Evening Poft out of his pocket, and

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putting on his fpectacles, read aloud to us the feveral methods already propofed; to which many wife objections were immediately started by the company.

What's that?" fays an old Don, who I afterwards found had a small estate in houfes; An additional duty upon bricks, and pan-tiles and plain-tiles? I fuppofe they will lay a duty upon plain-tile pegs by and by. This fpeech was received with an hearty chuckle of applaufe from the reft of the company; when another took cccafion to obferve, That he very much ap

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proved the fcheme for laying a larger tax upon cards and dice;' oneef which he called the devil's books, and the other his bones. The duty upon plate might perhaps have paffed into a law in this affembly, if it had not been vehemently oppofed by one member, (whom I difcovered to be a filverfaith,) in which he

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was feconded by the landlord of the houfe, who had a feat in this meeting, and told us, that it would lie very hard upon publicans, as nobody would now drink their porter out of a pewter pot.' Thefe and the like arguments induced us to fet afide all the projects that had been offered hitherto, and to confult together in order to find new ones in their room; among which I could not but fimile at the proposal of an honest peruke. maker, who advised the levying of a poll-tax upon all that wore their own hair: For,' fays he, we have never ' had good times fince wigs were out of fashion. What rare days were 'thofe in Queen Anne's reign, when the nobility and gentry wore large flaxen flows of thirty guineas price! And, as you may fee by my Lord Godolphin's 'monument in Westminster Abbey, a 'prime minister's wig could not be 'made, I am fure, under fifty guineas.' The difcourfe, that paffed at this fociety of politicians, has led me to turn my thoughts on devifing fome method that might answer the prefent demands for a fupply, with the leaft injury to the community. On this account I am of opinion, that private vices (according to the favourite tenet of Maundeville) may in fome measure be converted into public benefits, by laying a certain tax or duty on the fashionable amufements of the gay and polite world. For this purpofe I have, with great pains and labour, contrived a plan, a few heads of which, without further preface, I fhall (with your leave) fubmit to the confideration of thofe whom it may concern.

First then, I would propofe, that no perfan of quality, or others, fhould be allowed to keep any route, drum, affembly, vifiting-day, (or whatever other name it may hereafter be called by) at which more than one hundred perfons shall be found affembled, without paying a certain rate for every fuch route, drum, &c. The umber of these meetings which are held in this town, (including the city of London and the fuburbs thereof) I have computed, upon an exact calculation, to amount annually to eight thoufand three hundred and upwards: fo that if a duty, at only fixpence per head, were to be levied upon, the company, it would bring in a prodigious income to the government; deducing for the decreafe confequent of Lis tax, as alío for thofe which we may

expect will be fmuggled, or carried on clandeftinely. And, as gaming is au effential diverfion at all these meetings,' I would further advife, that every card-s table be entered, in the fame manner as all wheel-carriages, and a proportionable rate fixed on them, according to the degree and quality of the owners.' Be it enacted moreover, that extraordinary licences fhall be taken out for playing at cards on the Sabbath day; but that these be granted only to perfons of: the highest rank and fashion.

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At the prefent juncture of affairs every: one will agree with me, that if an abfolute prohibition be impracticable, an heavy duty fhould be laid on the importation of French fashions and fopperies into this kingdom. It is there-t fore but reafonable that all French cooks, valets de chambre, milliners, manteau makers, hair-cutters, &c. fhould be at leaft doubly taxed, as it is notorious: that they exact from the dupes, who employ them, more than double the wages or price for their labours, that our own modeft countrymen would require. This tax, I make no doubty would produce no inconfiderable fum for the public ufe: and as our ladies, though I would not fufpect that they have French hearts, are ambitious of wearing French complexions, a further fum might alfo be raised by fixing an high duty upon rouge and carmine.

There are many other particulars in the fathionable world, which might be turned in the fame manner to the public good. A tax on kept mitreffes, for example; who are now become so very numerous, that I queftion not but a duty, properly levied on them, would be fufficient to maintain all the widows of our foldiers and failors who shall happen to be killed in the fervice. An heavy duty might alfo be laid on all Bagnios, French-wine-houses, Covent Garden coffee-houfes, &c. and fince, in fpite of laws and decency, thefe places are fuffered to be kept open, it is furely equitable that they should pay round. taxes for the relief of the nation, as well as an annual tribute for the connivance of the neighbouring Juftices. To add to this fcheme, and to make vice and folly further contribute to the public neceffity, I would alfo propofe, that Meffieurs Harris, Derry, and the reft) of the fraternity of Pimps, retained as caterer's to the voluptuous at any tavern

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or bagnio, should enter all the hacks in their fervice at an exzife-office appropriated to this purpose; and that, to prevent frauds, as well as to point out the means of application to the office for redress in cafe of complaint, these backs should be ail marked and numbered like the hackney-coaches.

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As it is incumbent on every Englishman to expose his life in defence of his country against the common enemy, must particularly recommend, that fome means may be devised, that the gallant feats of thole men of honour, who rather chufe to risk their lives in the modifh way of duelling, may be attended with fome advantage to their countrymen. I would therefore advife, that (words and pitols, of a fettled length and bore, with the Tower-ftamp, be provided by the government for the ufe of Duellifts, and that they fhall not prefume to make ufe of any other, under pain of incurring the guilt of murder. These weapons may be let out at a certain price; and if one of the parties happen to kill the other, the furvivor fhall be fubject to a fine according to his rank and ftation, and a jury fhall be directed to bring in the verdict, Self defence. In like manner, perfons of quality may have leave granted them to put an end to their own lives, after an ill run at cards, or the like emergent occafions;

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TO BE SOLD BY SUBSCRIPTION,
AT HALF A GUINEA EACH PLANT,

AN Auricula raised by Mr. William

Redmond, at Iflington, named the Triumph; having fine Grafs, a strong Stem, a certain Blower, a large Truffer, the Fingers a juft Length, a good Pip for Size and Shape, the Eye extremely white, the Thrum full, the Margin a beautiful Purple Black, finely variegated with Silver and Green, continues long in Bloom, and dies in Colour. No Plant to be fold for less than one Guinea after the Subscription is clofed, until the Bloom is over.

No CXI. THURSDAY, MARCH 11, 1756.

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WITH DEAR MAMMA O MAKE NOT SUCH A FOTHER!
BUT STRIVE TO BE A MAN BEFORE YOUR MOTHER.

ΤΗΣ generality of the

young unmarried ladies of the prefent age diflike no company fo much as the elderly perfons of their own fex, whether married or unmarried. Going with an old maiden aunt, a mamma, or grandmamma, to the play or to Ranelagh, is fo infipid an amufement, that it robs their entertainment of the very name of a party of pleasure. To be handed into a box, walk in the public gardens, or make one at a card-table at a route, with a fprightly young nobleman, or gallant colonel of the guards, has fome life in it; but to be kept perpetually under the wing of an old lady, can have

no charms for a woman of fpirit. The prefence of these antiquated females impofes a constraint on their behaviour: they are, indeed, like the Duennaš in Spain, fpies on the conduct of the gay and young; and a good old gentlewoman, with a blooming beauty by her fide, watches her every motion, and is as much frighted, if the pretty creature makes any advances to a man, as an hen, who has been fofter-mother to a brood of ducklings, is alarmed at thet taking to the water.

This loofe coquet behaviour so much in vogue, and confequently fo genteel, has, I must own, no charms in my eye,

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s a modelt deportment appears to me mhoft natural and becoming in the fair fex; and I am always glad to fee a young lady of fufficient fenfe and difcretion, to behave with an innocent chearfulness, instead of apparent uneafinefs and constraint, before her more aged female friends and relations. But though a daughter fhould prefer no company to her mother, a fon, always dangling at the fide of his mamma, would appear as ridiculous as if he wore his fitter's petticoats: and however amiable this maidenly demeanor might feem in a young girl, I cannot view it with equal approbation in the character of a MaleVirgin character with which I fhall here present the reader, as drawn by one of my correfpondents.

SIR,

You

TO MR. TOWN.

OU have already given us feveral inftances of thofe ambiguous creatures among the men, who are both male and female; permit me to add to them an account of those lady-like gentlemen, whom we may diftinguifh by the title of their mother's own fons; who have in vain changed the bib and leading frings for the breeches, and stick as close to their mammas, as a great calf to the fide of an old cow. I am intimately acquainted with one of these over-grown babies; who is indeed too big to be dandled in a lap, or fed with a pap-fpoon, though he is no more weaned from his mother, than if he had not yet quitted the nursery.

The delicate Billy Suckling is the contempt of the men, the jeft of the women, and the darling of his mamma. She doats on him to distraction; and is in perpetual admiration of his wit, and anxiety for his health. The good young gentleman, for his part, is neither undutiful nor ungrateful: the is the only woman that he does not look on with indifference; and she is his tutorefs, his phyfician, and his nurfe. She provides his brath every evening; will not fuffer him to look into a book by candle-light, left he should hurt his eyes; and takes care to have his bed warmed: may, I have known him fit with his mamma's white handkerchief round his neck through a whole vifit, to guard him from the wind of that ugly door, or ahat terrible chink in the wainscot.

But however familiarly he may be

have in his addreffes to his mother, and whatever little acts of gallantry may pafs between them, no encouragement can prevail on him to treat other women with the fame freedom. Being once defired at a ball to dance a minuet, inftead of taking out any of the young ladies, he could pitch upon no partner fo agreeable, to whom he might offer the compliment of his hand, as his mother; and I remember, when he was once called upon in a large company at a tavern to give a lady in his turn, he plainly fhewed who was the fole mistrefs of his affections, by toasting his mother. The gallant cuftom of challenging a lady to drink a bumper, by leaving it to her option whether the will have hob or nob, frequently gives a delicious flavour to the liquor, efpecially when, as I have known it happen, joining the lips of the glaffes has proved a prelude to a meeting between the lips of the parties: but he could not be prevailed on to accept a glafs of claret from the fairest hand, though a kifs were fure to follow it. I have known him so very nice, as to refufe a glafs of fack filled with walnuts, which had been peeled by the fnowy fingers of a beautiful young lady; though I have feen him fmack his lips after a glafs of raifin wine, in which his prudent mother had been dabbling with her fnuffy finger, in order to fill out the fmall particles of cork, which might poffibly have choaked him. If a lady drops her fan, he fits without any emotion, and fuffers her to ftoop for it herfelf; or if the strikes her tea-cup against the faucer to give notice that it is empty, he pays no regard to the signal, but fees her walk up to the tea-table, without stirring from his chai. He would rather leave the most celebrated beauty, in coffing the street, to the mercy of a drayman, than truft her with his little finger: though, at the fame time, should his mother be fo diftreffed, he would not fcruple to bear as much of her weight as he could ftand under, and to redeem her filk stockings from jeopardy, would even expofe his own.

One would imagine that this extreme coynefs and referve, in which he fo remarkably differs from the generality of his own fex, would in another respect as effectually distinguish him from the generality of women. I mean, that being lef's polite in his address than a footman, we should hardly expect to find 2 I

him

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