Whofe ruffle, as it lank depends,
And dangles o'er his fingers ends,
His olive-tann'd complexion graces,
With little dabs of Dreiden laces;
While, for the body, Monfieur Puff
Would think ev n Dowlas fine enough?
So fares it with our men of rhimes,
Sweet tinklers of poetic chimes;
For lace, and fringe, and tawdry cloaths,
Sure never yet were greater beaux;
But fairly ftrip them to the shirt,
They're all made up of rags and dirt.

Shall then fuch wretches Bards commence,
Without or spirit, taste, or sense?
And when they bring no other treasure,
Shall I admire them for their measure?
Or, do I fcorn the critic's rules,
Because I will not learn of fools?
Although Longinus' foul-mouth'd profe,
With all the force of Genius glows;
Though Dionifius' learned tafte
Is ever manly, juft, and chaste,
Who, like a fkiiful, wife phyfician,
Diffects each part of compofition,

And thews how beauty ftrikes the foul,
From a juft compact of the whole;
Though Judgment, in Quintilian's page,
Holds forth her lamp for ev'ry age;
Yet Hypercritics I cifdain,

A race of blockheads, dull and vain ;
And laugh at all thofe empty fools,
Who cramp a Genius with dull rules;
And what their narrow feience mocks,
Damn with the name of Her'rodox.
Thefe butchers of a poet's fame,
While they ufurp the Critic's name,
Cry This is Taffe-that s my opinion;*
And poets dread their mock dominion..
So have you feen, with dire affright,
The Petty Monarch of the night,
Seated aloft in elbow-chair,
Command the pris'ners to appear;
Harangue an hour on watchman's praife,
And on the dire effect of frays;
Then cry- You'll fuffer for your daring,
And damn you, you fhall pay for fwearing)
Then, turning, tell th' aftorish'd ring,
I fit to reprefent the KING.

I Remember a rector of a parish at

the court end of the town, who was generally accounted a very fine preacher, that used to aim at delivering himself in the moft bold and animated ftile of oratory. The tone of his voice was nicely accommodated to the different branches of his difcourfe,, and every thing was pronounced with uncommon energy and emphasis: he alfo indulged himself in equal freedom of action, and abound ed in various extraordinary gefticulations: his fermons themselves were fown thick with tropes, metaphors, and fimilies, and every-where enriched with apoftrophe and prosopopeia.

As I knew that this reverend gentle man had been abroad with a young nobleman in the capacity of a travelling tutor, I did not wonder at the violent exertion of his voice, and the vehemence of his action; this affected air being a piece of clerical foppery, which an iti nerant clergyman is apt to adopt, while his pupil is gleaning all the other follies of Paris: at which place it is very common to fee a capuchine fo heated with

the fubject, that he often ferms in dan ger of throwing himself out of the pulpita But I was at a lofs how to account for the glowing file of his difcourfes; till, happening to turn over the works of a celebrated French preacher, I found that the oratorical performances of my friend were no other than the faithful tranflations of them.

This fort of pulpit plagiarifm may perhaps be more adapted to the taste of fome of our fashionable declaimers, than the more hackneyed method of tranfcribing a page from Barrow, Tillotfon, or Atterbury. But, although such practices may be lefs liable to detection, it is certainly more orthodox to rifle the works of our own Divines, than to ranfack the treasures of Romish priests; and their enflamed orations are undoubt edly let's adapted to the genius of our people, than the foher reasonings of our own preachers. Voltaire. in his Effay on Epic Poetry, has touched this point with his ufual vivacity, and given a very juft defcription of the different spe cies of Pulpit Eloquence that obtain in

2 N

France

France and England. The whole paffage is as follows. Difcourfes, aiming at the pathetic, pronounced with veliemence, and accompanied with violent geftores, would excite laughter in an Englith congregation. For as they are fond of bloated language and the mot impaffioned eloquence on the Stage, fo in the Pulpit they affect the ' moit unornamented fimplicity. A Sermon in France is a long Declamation, fcrupulously divided into three parts, and delivered with enthufiafm. In England, a Sermon is a folid, but fonetimes dry, Differtation, which a man reads to the people, without gefture, and without any particular exaltation of the voice. In Italy,' he adds, a Sermon is a Spiritual Comedy' or rather Farce, he might have faid; fince the Preachers in that country harangue their audience, running to and fro on a fort of raifed itage, like a mountebank. It mult he owned, however, that fome of our clergy are greatly wanting in that life and fpirit, which would render their instructions more affecting, as well as inore pleasing. Their fermons are frequently drawled out in one dull tone, without any variation of voice or gefture: fo that it is no wonder if some of the congregation fhould be caught napping, when the preacher himself hardly feems to be awake. But though this drowly delivery is not to be commended, yet a ferious earnestnefs is most likely to engage the attention, and convince the reaton. This manner, as it is moft decent in itself, is belt fuited to an English audience: though it is no wonder that a different train of oratory fhould prevail in France; fince a Frenchman accompanies almost every word in ordimary converfation with fome fantastic geiture; and even enquires concerning your health, and talks of the weather, with a thousand fhrugs and grimaces.

But though I do not like to fee a preacher Jazdy lolling on the cushion, or dozing over his fermon-cafe, and haranguing his audience with an unchriftian apathy; yet even this unani. mated delivery is perhaps its offentive, than to oblerve a clergyman not so affiduous to infruct his audience, as to be admired by them; not to mention, that even Voltaire himself teems to think our manner of preaching preferable, on the whole, to the declamatory file and af

fected geftures, ufed by the clergy of his own nation. A fober divine thould not afcend the pulpit with the fame paffions that a public orator mounts the roftrum: much leis fhould be affume the voice, gesture, and deportment of a player, and the language of the theatre. He should preferve a temperance in the moft earnest parts of his difcourfe, and go through the whole of it in fuch a manner, as beft agrees with the folemn place in which it is uttered. Pompous noniente, bellowed out with a thundering accent, comes with a worfe grace from the pulpit, than bombait and fuftian injudiciously ranted forth by a 'periwig-pated fellow' on the ftage. I cannot better illustrate the abfurdity and indecency of this manner, than by a familier, though hameful, initance of it. Whoever has occafionally joined with the butchers in making up the audience of the Clare Market Orator, will agree with me, that the impropriety of his tile and the extravagance of his action become ftill more hocking and intolerable by the day which they profane, and the ecclefiaftic appearance of the place in which the declaimer ha rangues. Thus, while thofe who thunder out damnation from parish pulpits, may, from affuming the manners of the theatre, be refembled to ranting players; the Clare Market Orator, while he turns religion into farce, mut be confidered as exhibiting thews and interludes of an inferior nature, and himself regarded as a Jack-pudding in caflock.

gown and

A bloated tile is perhaps of all others leaft to be commended. It is more frequently made a fhelter for nonsente, than a vehicle of truth: but, though improper on all occafions, it more especially deviates from the chafte plainnels and fimplicity of Pulpit Eloquence. Nor am I lefs difpleafed with thofe who are admired by fome as pretty preachers; as I think a clergyman may be a coxcomb, in his tile and manner, as well as a prig in his appearance. Flowers of rhetoric, injudiciously fcattered over a fermon, are as difgufting in his dif courfe, as the fmug wig and fcented white handkerchief in his drefs. The pretty preacher aims alfo at politenes and good-breeding, takes the ladies to talk in a genteel vein of raillery, and handles their modifh foibles with the fame air that he gallants their fans: but

if he has a mind to put his abilities to the stretch, and indulge himself in a more than ordinary flow of rhetoric, he fritters away the folemnity of fome feriptural fubject, and I have heard a flourishing declaimer of this caft take off from the awful idea of the Paffion, by dwelling principaily on the gracefulness of perfon, fweetnefs of voice, and elegance of deportment, in the Divine Sufferer; and at another time, in speaking of the Fall, I have known him enter into a picture que defcription of the woods, groves, and rivulets, panfies, pinks, and violets, that threw a perpetual gaiety over the face of nature in the garden of Eden.

Affected oratory and an extravagant delivery were first practised by those who vary from the established church: nor is there any manner fo unbecoming and indecent, which has not, at one time or another, been accounted truly fpiritual and graceful. Snuffling through the nofe, with an harmonious twang, has been regarded as a kind of church-mufic bett calculated to raise devotion, and a piteous chorus of fighs and groans has been thought the most effectual call to repentance. Irregular tremblings of the voice, and contortions of the perfon, have long been the eloquence of Quakers and Prefbyterians: and are now the favourite mode of preaching practifed by thole felf-ordained teachers, who strike out new lights in religion, and pour

SIR,

forth their extempore rhapsodies in a torrent of enthufiaitical oratory. An infpired cobler will thunder out anathe-mas, with the tone and gesture of St. Paul, from a joint-tool; and an enlightened bricklayer will work himself up to fuch a pitch of vehemence, as shall make his audience quake again. I am forry to fee our regular divines rather copying, than reforming this hot and extravagant manner of preaching: and have with pain been witnefs to a wild intemperate delivery in our parish-churches, which Ifhould only have expected at the chapel in Long Acre, or at the Foundery and Tabernacle in Moorfields.

As a ferious earnestnefs in the delivery, and a nervous fimplicity in the stile of a discourse, are the most be coming ornaments of the pulpit, so an affectation of eloquence is no where fo offenfive. The delivery of a preacher, as well as his diction, fhould, like his drefs, be plain and decent. Inflamed eloquence and wild gestures are unfuitable to the place and his function; and though fuch vehement heat may perhaps kindle the zeal of a few enthufiaftic old beldams in the aile, it has a very dif ferent effect on the more rational part of the congregation. I would therefore recommend it to our fashionable divines, to aim at being Preachers rather than Orators or Actors, and to endeavour to make their difcouries appear like Sermons rather than Qrations.

WE

HOR.

TO MR. TOWN.

E are told, that in Spain it is the custom for husbands never to let their wives go abroad without a watchful old woman to attend them; and in Turkey it is the fashion to lock up their mistrelles under the guard of a trusty eunuch: but I never knew, that in any country the men were put under the fame restrictions. Alas! Sir, my wife is to me a very Duenna: fhe is as careful of me, as the Keiler Aga, or

Ο

Chief Eunuch, is of the Grand Signior's favourite Sultana; and whether the believes that I am in love with every woman, or that every woman is in love with me, fhe will never truft me cut of her fight; but fticks as close to me, as if the really was, without a figure, bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh. I am never fuffered to ftir abroad without her, left I should go aftray; and at home the follows me up and down the house, like a child in leading ftrings: nay, if I do but step down ftairs on any ordinary occafion, fhe is fo afraid I should 2 N 2

give

give her the flip, that she always fereams after me, My dear, you are not going out; though, for better fecurity, the generally locks up my hat and cane, together with her own gloves and cardinal, that one may not ftir out without the other.

I cannot flatter myfelf, that I am handfomer or better made than other men: nor has the, in my eyes at least, fewer charins than other women. Need I add, that my complexion is not over fanguine, nor my conftitution very robuf? and yet he is fo very doubtful of my conftancy, that I cannot fpeak, or even pay the compliment of my hat, to any young lady, though in public, without giving new alarms to her jealoufy. Such an one, fhe is fure from her flaunting airs, is a kept madam; another is no better than the fhould be; and the faw another tip me the wink, or give me a nod, as a mark of some private affignation between us. A nun, Sir, might as foon force her way ito a convent of monks, as any young woman get admittance into our house: the has therefore affronted all her acquaintance of her own fex, that are not, or might not have been, the grandmothers of many generations; and is at home to nobody, but maiden ladies in the blooms of threescore, and beauties of the laft century.

She will fearce allow me to mix even with perfons of my own fex; and the looks upon bachelors in particular, as no better than pimps and common feducers: one evening, indeed, the vouchlafed to trust me out of doors at a tavern with fome of my male friends; but the firft bottle had scarce gone round, before word was brought up, that my boy was . come with the lanthorn to light me home. I fent him back with orders to call in an hour; when prefently after the maid was difpatched, with notice that my dear was gone to bed very ill, and wanted me directly. I was preparing to obey the fummons; when, to our great furprife, the fick lady herself bolted into the room, complained of my cruel heart, and fell into a fit; from which the did not recover, till the coach had fet us down at our own houfe. She then called me the bafcft of husbands; and faid, that all taverns were no better than bawdy houtes, and that men only went thi her to meet naughty women: at laft The declared it to be her firm refolution,

that I should never fet my foot in any one of them again, except herself be allowed to make one of the company.

You will fuppofe, Sir, that while my wife is thus cautious that I should not be led attray when abroad, she takes particular care, that I may not tumble on temptation at home. For this reafon, as foon as I had brought her to my houfe, my two maid-iervants were minediately turned away at a moment's warning, not without many covert hirts, and fome open accusations, of too near an intimacy between us: though I protelt to you, one was a feeble oid wrinkled creature, as haggard and frightful as mother Shipton; and the other, a ftrapping wench, as coarfe and brawny as the Female Samfon. Even my man John, who had lived in the family for thirty years, was p cked off, as being too well acquainted with his matter's fly ways. A chair-woman was forced to do our work for fome time, before madam could fuit herteif with maids for her purpofe. One was too pert an huffy; another went too fine; another was an impudent forward young baggage. At prefent our hou hold is made up of fuch beautiful monsters, as Caliban himteif might fall in love with: my lady's own waiting-woman has a most inviting hump back, and is fo charmingly paralytic, that the thakes all over, like a Chincfe figure; the house-maid fquints moft delightfully with one folitary eye, which weeps continually for the lols of it's fellow; and the cook, befides a mott captivating red face and protuberant wait, has a moft graceful hobble in her gait, occafioned by one leg being shorter than the other. i

I need not tell you, that I must never write a letter, but my wife muft fee the contents, before it is done up; and that I never dare to open one, til the has broke the feal, or read it, till the has firft run it over. Every rap at the door from the poft-man makes her tremble; and I have known her ready to burst with fpleen at feeing a fuperfcription, written in a fair Italian-hand, though perhaps it only comes from my aunt in the country. She can pick out an intrigue even from the impreflion on the wax: and a Cupid, or two hearts joined in union, or a wafer pricked with a pin, or ftamped with a thimble, the interprets as the certain tokens of a billetdoux; and if there is a blank space left

in any part of the letter, he always holds it for fome time before the fire; that, if it should be filled with any fecret contents, written in juice of lemons, they may by that means become vifible.

About a month ago fhe found a myfterious paper in my coat-pocket, which awakened all her miftruit. This fufpicious manufcript was drawn up in hieroglyphics; which, as he could not in terpret, the immediately concluded it to be a billet-doux from fome nafty creature, whom I fecretly maintained in a corner of the towa; and that we correfponded together in cypher. This terrible paper, Sir, was in truth no other than a bill from my blackmith in the country; who, never having learnt to write, exprefled his meaning by characters of his own invention. Thus, if he had ended a spade, he charged it to my account, by drawing, as well as he could, the figure of a spade, and adding at a little distance fix perpendicular lines, to fignify fixpence; or, if he had repaired a plough, he sketched out that alfo in the fame kind of rough draught, and annexed to it four curve lines, to denote four fbillings. This matter I explained to my wife as fully as poffible, but very little to her fatisfaction. It is abfolutely impotüible to quiet her fufpicions:

SIR,

the is perpetually reproaching me with my private trull, nay, upbraids me on this account before ftrangers; and it was but laft week, that the put me to inconceivable confufion before a whole room-full of company, by telling them, that I was in love with a blackfmith.

Jealoufy, Sir, it is faid, is a fign of love. It may be fo; but it is a fpecies of love, which is attended with all the malevolent properties of hate: nay, I will venture to lay, that many a modern wife hates her husband moft heartily, without caufing him half that unealinets, which my loving confort's fufpicious temper creates to me. Her jealous whims daturb ine the more, because I a naturally of an even mind and calm difpofition: and one of the chief blef fings I promised myself in matrimony was, to enjoy the fweets of domestic tranquillity. I loved my wife paffionately; but I must own, that thefe perpetual attacks upon my peace make me regard her with lefs and lefs tendernefs every day; and though there is not a woman in the world that I would prefer to my wife, yet I am apt to think, that fuch violent fufpicions, without a cause, have often created real matter for jealoufy. I am, Sir, your humble fervant, &c,

T

MY

"

MART.

TO MR. TOWN.

Y wife is mad, ftark mad; and unless you can prescribe some remedy for that range phrenzy which poffeffes her, my peace of mind must be for ever broken, and my fortune inevitably ruined. You must know, Sir, that he is afflicted with a diforder exactly oppofite to the bite of a Tarantula; for, as that is faid to admit of no cure but music, there is not a note in the Gamut, but what tends to heighten and inflame my wife's lunacy. I find it is the fashion, in this age, for fingers and ddlers to publish Appeals to the public:

wherefore, as you have hitherto liftened to the complaints hufbands, I must beg you now to confider mine, and to fuffer me alfo to appeal to the public, by means of your paper.

A few years ago bufinefs called me over to Italy; where this unfortunate woman received the first touches of this diforder. She foon conceived a violent paffion for Tafte in genera, which fettled at last in an unquenchable rage after mufical compofitions. Solos, Sonatas, Operas, and Concertos, became her fole employment and delight, and fingers and muficians her only company. At length, full of Italian airs, the returned to England, where alto her whole

happiness