tor of the ceremonies practifed upon this occafion. I left town in company with three fiddlers, nine dozen of hams, and a corporation poet, which were defigned as reinforcements to the gin- drinking party. We entered the town with a very good face; the fiddlers, no way intimidated by the enemy, kept handling their arms up the principal ftreet. By this prudent manoeuvre they took peaceable poffeffion of their head-quarters, amidst the fhouts of multitudes, who feemed perfectly rejoiced at hearing their music, but, above all, at feeing their bacon.

I must own, I could not avoid being pleafed to fee all ranks of people on this occafion levelled into an equality, and the poor, in fome meafure, enjoying the primitive privileges of nature. If there was any distinction fhewn, the lowest of the people feemed to receive it from the rich. I could perceive a cobler with a levee at his door, and an haberdafher giving audience from behind his counter. But my reflections were foon interrupted by a mob, who demanded whether I was for the diftillery or the brewcry? As these were terms with which I was totally unacquainted, I chofe at firft to be filent; however, I know not what might have been the confequence of my referve, had not the attention of the mob been called off to a skirmish between a brandy-drinker's cow and a gin-drinker's maftiff, which turned out, greatly to the fatisfaction of the mob, in favour of the mastiff.

This fpectacle, which afforded high

THE

entertainment, was at laft ended by the appearance of one of the candidates, who came to harangue the mob; he made a very pathetic fpeech upon the late exceffive importation of foreign drams, and the down-fall of the diftillery: I could fee fome of the audience fhed tears. He was accompanied in his proceffion by Mrs. Deputy and Mrs. Mayores. Mrs. Deputy was not in the leaft in liquor; and for Mrs. Mayorefs, one of the fpectators affured me in my ear that he was a very fine woman before the had the fmall-pox.

Mixing with the crowd, I was now conducted to the hall where the magiftrates are chofen; but what tongue can defcribe this fcene of confufion! the whole crowd feemed equally inspired with anger, jealoufy, politics, patriotifm, and punch: I remarked one figure that was carried up by two men upon this occafion. I at first began to pity his infirmities as natural, but foon found the fellow fo drunk that he could not ftand; another made his appearance to give his vote, but though he could stand, he actually loft the ufe of his tongue, and remained filent; a third, who though exceffively drunk, could both stand and fpeak, being asked the candidate's name for whom he voted, could be prevailed upon to make no other anfwer, but 'To

bacco and brandy.' In short, an elec-, tion-hall feems to be a theatre, where every paffion is feen without disguise; a fchool where fools may readily become worse, and where philofophers may gather wisdom. Adieu.

HE difputes among the learned here are now carried on in a much more compendious manner than formerly. There was a time when folio was brought to oppofe folio, and a champion was often fitted for life under the banners of a single forites. At pre fent, the controverfy is decided in a fummary way; an epigram, or an acrostic, finishes the debate, and the combatant, like the incurfive Tartar, advances and retires with a fingle blow.

An important literary debate at pre

fent engroffes the attention of the town. It is carried on with fharpnefs, and a proper fhare of this epigrammatical fury. An author, it feems, has taken an averfion to the faces of feveral players, and has written verfes to prove his dif like; the players fall upon the author, and affure the town he must be dull, and their faces must be good, becanfe he wants a dinner: a critic comes to the poet's affiffance, afferting that the verfes were perfectly original, and fo fmart, that he could never have written them

without

without the affiftance of friends; the friends upon this arraign the critic, and plainly prove the verfes to be all the author's own. So at it they are all four together by the ears; the friends at the critic, the critic at the players, the players at the author, and the author at the players again. It is impoffible to determine how this many-fided contelt will end, or which party to adhere to. The town, without fiding with any, views the combat in fufpenfe, like the fabled hero of antiquity, who beheld the earth-born brothers give and receive mutual wounds, and fall by indifcriminate deftruction.

This is, in fome measure, a ftate of the prefent difpute; but the combatants here differ in one refpect from the champions of the fable. Every new wound only gives vigour for another blow; though they appear to ftrike, they are, in fact, mutually welling themselves into confideration, and thus advertising each other away into fame. To-day," fays one, my name fhall be in the Gazette, the next day my rival's; people will naturally enquire about us: thus we fhall at leaft make. a noife in the streets, though we have got nothing to fell.' I have read of a difpute of a fimilar nature, which was managed here about twenty years ago. Hildebrand Jacob, as I think he was called, and Charles Johnfon, were poets, both at that time poffeffed of great reputation; for Johnfon had written eleven plays acted with great fuccefs; and Jacob, though he had written but five, had five times thanked the town for their unmerited applaufe. They foon became mutually enamoured of each other's talents; they wrote, they felt, they challenged the town, for each other. Johnfon affured the public, that no poet alive had the eafy fimplicity of Jacob; and Jacob exhibited Johnfon as a mafter-piece in the pathetic. Their mutual praise was not without effect; the town faw their plays, were in raptures, read, and, without cenfuring them, forgot them. So formidable an union, however, was foon oppofed by Tibbald. Tibbald afferted, that the tragedies of one had faults, and the comedies of the other fubftituted wit for vivacity: the combined champions flew at him like tigers, arraigned the

♦ Charity.

cenfurer's judgment, and impeached his fincerity. It was a long time a difpute among the learned, which was in fact the greatest man, Jacob, Johnfon, or Tibbald; they had all written for the ftage with great fuccefs, their names were feen in almost every paper, and their works in every coffee-houte. However, in the hottest of the difpute, a fourth combatant made his appearance, and fwept away the three combatants, tragedy, comedy, and all, into undiftin guifhed ruin.

From this time they feemed configned into the hands of criticism; fcarce a day paffed in which they were not arraigned as detefted writers. The cri tics, thefe enemies of Dryden and Pope, were their enemies. So Jacob and Johnfon, inftead of mending by criti cifm, called it envy; and becaufe Dryden and Pope were cenfured, they compared themfelves to Dryden and Pope,

But to return: the weapon chiefly ufed in the prefent controverfy is epigram; and certainly never was a keener made ufe of. They have difcovered furprifing fharpness on both fides. The first that came out upon this occafion was a kind of new compofition in this way, and might more properly be called an epigrammatic thefis than an epigram. It confifts, first, of an argument in profe; next follows a motto from Rofcommon; then comes the epigram, and, lattly, notes ferving to explain the epigram. But you shall have it, with all it's decorations.

AN EPIGRAM.

ADDRESSED TO THE GENTLEMEN RE
FLECTED ON IN THE ROSCIAD, A
POEM, BY THE AUTHOR.
Worry'd with debts, and past all hopes of bail,
His pen he prostitutes, t'avoid a jaol.'

ROSCOM.

perplexing

perplexing. It effectually flings the santagonilt into a mift; there is no anfwering it: the laugh is raifed against -him, while he is endeavouring to find out the jeft. At once he fhews that the author has a kennel, and that this kenmel is putrid, and that this putrid kennel overflows. But why does it overflow? It overflows, because the author happens to have low pockets!.

There was alfo another new attempt in this way; a profaic epigram, which came out upon this occafion. This is fo full of matter, that a critic might -fplit it into fifteen epigrams, each properly fitted with it's fting. You shall fee it.

TO G. C. AND R. L.

"Twas you, or I, or he, or all together,

'Twas one, both, three of them, they know not whether.

This I believe, between us. great or small, You, I, he, wrote it not-'twas Churchill's all.

There, there is a perplex! I could have wished, to make it quite perfect, the author, as in the cafe before, had added notes: Almost every word admits a fcholium, and a long one too, I, YOU, HE Suppofe aftranger fhould afk And who are you? Here are three obfcure perfons fpoken of, that may in a fhort time be utterly forgotten. Their names fhould have confequently been mentioned in notes at the bottom,

But when the reader comes to the words great and small, the maze is inextrica ble. Here the ftranger may dive for a mystery without ever reaching the bottom. Let him know, then, that small is a word purely introduced to make good rhyme; and great was a very proper word to keep fmall company.

Yet, by being thus a fpectator of others dangers, I must own, I begin to tremble in this literary contest for my own. I begin to fear, that my challenge to Doctor Rock was unadvised, and has procured me more antagonists than I had at firft expected. I have received private letters from several of the literati here that fill my foul with apprehenfion. I may safely aver, that I never gave any creature in this good

city offence,' except only, my rival Doctor Rock; yet by the letters I every day receive, and by fome I have seen printed, I am arraigned at one time as being a dull fellow, at another, as being pert; I am here petulant, there I am heavy by the head of my ancestors, they treat me with more inhumanity than a flying-fith! If I dive and run my nofe to the bottom, there a devour ing shark is ready to fwallow me up; if I ikim the furface, a pack of dolphins are at my tail to fnap me; but when I take wing, and attempt to escape them by flight, I become a prey to every ra venous bird that winnows the bosom of the deep. Adieu,

might fport among painted lawns and warbling groves, and revel upon gales, wafting at once both fragrance and harmony. Yet, it feems, he has forfaken the ifland; and when a couple are, now to be married, mutual love, or an union of minds, is the laft and most trifling confideration. If their goods and chattels can be brought to unite, their sympathetic fauls are ever ready to guarantee the treaty. The gentleman's mortgaged lawn becomes enamoured of the ladies marriageable grove, the match is ftruck up, and both parties are piously in love

according to act of parliament. Thus they, who have fortune, are poffeffed at leaft of fomething that is

lovely;

lovely; but I actually pity thofe that have none. I am told there was a time when ladies, with no other merit but youth, virtue, and beauty, had a chance for hulbands, at least among the minifters of the church, or the officers of the army. The bluth and innocence of fixteen was faid to have a powerful in fluence over these two profeffions. But, of late, all the little traffic of blushing, ogling, dimpling, and filing, has been forbidden by an act in that cafe wifely made and provided. A lady's whole cargo of fimiles, fighs, and whifpers, is declared utterly contraband, till the arrives in the warm latitudes of twenty-two, where commodities of this nature are too often found to decay. She is then permitted to dimple and file, when the dimples and fmiles begin to forfake her; and, when perhaps grown ugly, is charitably entrusted with an unlimited use of her charms. lovers, however, by this time have for faken her; the captain has changed for another mittrefs; the priest himself leaves her in folitude to bewail her virginity; and the dies even without benefit of clergy.

Her

Thus you find the Europeans difcouraging love with as much earneftnets as the rudeft favage of Sofala. The Genius is furely now no more.

In every region I find enemies in armis to oppreis him. Avarice in Europe, jealouty in Perfia, ceremony in China, poverty among the Tartars, and luft in Circaffia, are all prepared to oppofe his power. The Genius is certainly banished from earth, though once adored trder fuch a variety of forms. He is no where to be found; and all that the ladies of each country can produce, are but a few trifling reliques as inftances of his former refidence and favour.

The Genius of Love (fays the Eastern Apologue) had long refided in the nappy plans of Abra, where every breeze was health, and every found produced tranquillity. 5 His temple at first was crouded; but every age leffened the number of his votaries, or cooled their devotion. Perceiving, therefore, his altars at length quite deferted, she was refolved to remove to fame more propi tious region; and he apprized the fairs fex of every country, where he could hope for a proper reception, to alert their right to his prefence among them. In return to this proclamation, embaf

fies were fent from every part of the world to invite him, and to display the fuperiority of their claims.

And firft the beauties of China appeared. No country could compare with them for modesty, either of look, drefs, or behaviour their eyes were never lifted from the ground; their robes of the most beautiful filk hid their hands, bofom, and neck, while their faces only were left uncovered. They indulged no airs that might exprefs loofe defire, and they feemed to study only the graces of inanimate beauty. Their black teeth and plucked eyebrows were, however, alledged by the Genius against them; but he fet them entirely afide, when he came to examine their little feet."

སྣ་ཎྜ ༧རྩེ་ན་་

The beauties of Circaffia next made their appearance. They advanced hand in hand, finging the most immodett airs, and leading up a dance in the most luxurious attitudes. Their drefs was but half a covering; the neck, the left-breast, and all the limbs, were expofed to view, which after fome, time seemed rather to fatiate than inflame defire. The lily and the role contended in forming their complexions; and a foft fleepiness of eye added irrefiftible poignance to their charms: but their beauties were obtruded, not offered, to their admirers; they feemed to give rather than receive courtship; and the Genius of Love difinified them as unworthy his regard, fince they exchanged the duties of love, and made themfelves not the pursued, but the pursuing fex.

་

The kingdom of Kashmire next produced it's charming deputies. This happy region feemed peculiarly fequeftered by Nature for his abode. Shady mountains fenced it on one fide from the fcorching fun; and fea-born breezes, on the other, gave peculiar luxuriance to the air. Their complexions were of a bright yellow, that appeared almost transparent, while the crimlon tulip feemed to blossom on their checks. Their features and linibs were delicate beyond the tatuary's power to expreís; and their teeth whiter than their own ivory. He was almoft perfuaded to refide among them, when, unfortunately, one of the ladies talked of appointing his feraglio.

In this proceffion the naked inhabi❤ tants of Southern America would not be left behind; their charms were found to furpaís whatever the warmest imagi

nation

nation could conceive; and ferved to fhew, that beauty could be perfect even with the feeming difadvantage of a brown complexion. But their favage education rendered them utterly unqualified to make the proper ufe of their power; and they were rejected as being incapable of uniting mental with fenfual fatisfaction. In this manner the deputies of other kingdoms had their fuits rejected: the black beauties of Benin, and the tawny daughters of Borneo;, the women of Wida, with well fcarred faces, and the hideous virgins of Cafraria; the fquab ladies of Lapland, three feet high, and the giant fair ones of Patagonia.

• The beauties of Europe at laft appeared: grace was in their ftep, and fenfibility fate fmiling in every eye. It was the univerfal opinion, while they were approaching, that they would prevail; and the Genius feemed to lend them his most favourable attention. They opened their pretentions with the utmost modefty; but, unfortunately, as their orator proceeded, the happened to let fall the words Houfe in town, fettlement, and pin-money.' Thefe feem ingly harmless terms had inftantly a furprifing effect: the Genius, with ungovernable rage, burft from amidst the cir

M

cle; and, waving his youthful pinions, left this earth, and flew back to thofe ethereal manfions from whence he defcended.

to.

The whole affembly was ftruck with amazement: they now juftly apprehended that female power would be no more, fince Love had forfaken them. They continued fome time thus in a state of torpid defpair; when it was proposed by one of their number, that, fince the real Genius had left them, in order to continue their power, they fhould fet up an idol in his ftead, and that the ladies of every country fhould furnish him with what each liked beft. This propofal was inftantly relished and agreed An idol was formed by uniting the capricious gifts of all the affembly, though no way resembling the departed Genius. The ladies of China furnished the monster with wings; thofe of Kashmire fupplied him with horns; the dames of Europe clapped a purfe in his hand; and the virgins of Congo furnished him with a tail. Since that time, all the vows addreffed to Love are in reality paid to the idol; but, as in other falfe religions, the adoration seems moft fervent where the heart is leaft fincere. Adieu.

ANKIND have ever been prone to expatiate in the praife of human nature. The dignity of man is a fubject that has always been the favourite theme of humanity; they have declaimed with that oftentation, which ufually accompanies fuch as are fure of having a partial audience; they have obtained victories, because there were none to oppofe. Yet, from all I have ever read or feen, men appear more apt to err by having too high, than by having too defpicable an opinion of their nature; and by attempting to exalt their original place in the creation, deprefs their real value in fociety.

The molt ignorant nations have always been found to think most highly of themfelves. The Deity has ever been thought peculiarly concerned in their glory and prefervation; to have fought

their battles, and infpired their teachers: their wizards are faid to be familiar with Heaven; and every hero has a guard of angels, as well as men, to attend him. When the Portuguese firft came among the wretched inhabitants of the coast of Africa, these favage nations readily allowed the ftrangers more skill in navigation and war; yet still considered them, at beft, but as ufeful fervants brought to their coafts, by their guardian ferpent, to fupply them with luxuries they could have lived without. Though they could grant the Portuguefe more riches, they could never allow them to have fuch a king as their Tottimondelem, who wore a bracelet of fhells round his neck, and whofe legs were covered with ivory.

In this manner, examine a favage in the history of his country and predecef

fors;