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refute the arguments of malice, or to I myself have used with success, is, that evade the accusations of truth; to knock an attack upon the minister is an affront on the head with the hammer of plump upon the crown; and that there is no contradiction, or to puzzle by a falla. accusation laid at the door of a 'secrecious representation of facts. These tary, that is not an indirect reflection worthy gentlemen, did they really con- upon the king. This is a pleasant way sider the true interest of the minister, of reasoning, to be sure; for, by the exwould never endeavour at any thing preis declaration of our laws, an Englike a fair dispute. A round lye ought linh prince is a piece of royal infallito be given to every assertion prejudicial bility, incapable of doing wrong: as to his reputation; and this would pro- this position is universally admitted, it duce such a number of replies, that the 'must consequently follow, that let us public would soon give up the discussion {patter as we please, 'not a bit of dirt of a point which saddled them with a can stick upon the monarch ; or even if heavy expence. A Twarm of pamphlets it could, would the monarch be an hothe lower orders have not the ability to neft or a sensible man, to be offended, purchase, and the higher have not the if it was apparently evident he was in leisure to read : hence a debate that oc- the wrong? Duty and reverence is all casions a number of publications must stuff, Pope; the prince who is offended insenübly die away, and the principal at censore, ought never to furnith a sufferer be the unfortunate bookseller; caufe for it; and the king who would for seldom, very feldom, has the pro- exact the obedience, ought to deserve prietoryship of a fix-penny touch fallen the affection, of his people. This is the to the share of any regularly-bred au- voice of reason; and the prince who is thor.

above listening to it, may possibly be People may talk what they will of the feared; but I'll stake my salvation that infringement which ministerial artificers he never can be loved. have made upon the liberty of the sub- The position that a king can do no ject, but in my opinion the Stamp Of. wrong, Pope, must either tax the Engfice is the most dangerous; the duty laid lish nation with great injustice, or.great there upon all publications, is a fagrant inconsistency. If a king can do no attack upon the liberty of the press; and wrong, why was King James the Seby choaking up the only channel which cond banished? And if a king can do the public have of setting forth their wrong, why the plague are we congrievances, cuts off the most probable ftantly affirming that he cannot? Eimeans of having them redressed: it is, in ther way we itand self-condemned: in the fact, the mott masterly stroke of mini- first place, we must be very wicked men, tterial cunning which I can remember; if the position holds; and very

foolith for let a secretary be never so bad a man, ones in the second, if it does not. But one half of his villainy pases the notice inconsistency is our prevailing characof the world, because few people are teristic; and if we are not let Jown as a willing to buy a knowledge of it at an nation of scoundrels, we must think exorbitant price.

ourselves pretty easy onder the appellaThe general plea which is used by tion of fools. 'I am, dear Pope, &c. ministerial advocates, and a plea which

J. Swift.

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fpondents who favour me with their pieces, a humourous gertieman has


AM going to advance a position sent me the following litle narrative, which the whole world has been india by way of Essay on Happinels, which mate with, since it's first creation; yet, I shall make no apology for Jaying bea what is not a little odd, a potition that fore my readers.

one half of our modern authors think

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as necessary to discuss, three or fourfonal merit and address : often has soy times a week, as if we were under the heart exulted at the tears of some poor greatest doubt of it's truth, or utterly deluded innocent, my fatisfaction being unacquainted with it's re&titude. This always good-naturedly proportioned to position, Sir, is neither more nor less the distress which I caufed; and once I than the imperfection of all human en- looked upon myself as the happieft of joyments, and she just disregard which all human beings, three young ladies should be Mewn to every possession of with whom I had heen particular, being this life, by such as have a proper soli. fortunately discarded on that account citude for the happiness of the next. by their friends, and turned out of

I am an old fellow, Maiter Babler, doors. very near fixty-five; and when I look Ar thirty, Sir, I was married to a back upon the various occurrences of woman whose person was far from being life, and recollect the objects which agreeable, but whose fortune had too principally attra&ted my attention from many charms to be with tood, My the crasile to the present hour, I cannot ambition now was directed to the put. help crying out with the poel

chase of a fine ftud of cattle, and a mag

nificent country-house. My wishes were A phantom of pleasure, like happiness dreft, gratified; but in less than three months

From the cradle we're taught to pursue ; I sold off the one, and feldom put my Yet our hope is bot vanity, take it at beft, foot into the other, unless some very exAnd our wisdom but vanity too.

traordinary circumstance indeed made

my appearance ablolutely neceffary on When I was about ten years of age, the fpot. Sir, the summum bonum of all worldly The mutability of my pleasures fH felicity was a holiday from fchool, and continuing, Sir, I was successively fond a pennyworth of marbles. How have · of the reputation of a hard drinker, the I envied a chimney-tweeper's appren- character of a desperate rider, the fame tice balking in the sun, in all the ampli- of a good mark fman, the glory of abil. rude of idieness and rags, when I con. Jiard player, and once was miserable a fidered hiin as unrestrained by the ty. whole twelve-month on account of less ranny of lume surly pedagogue, or en. ing a rubber at Dutch Pins. I have

Fair up,' at a game of eat a raw beef steak out of pride, whifNap. As I grew up, Sir, my attention tled for a wagtr with a very honeft was imperceptibly engaged to amuse. butcher in Newgate Market, and ments, rather more manly, but, how thought it a piece of heroism to be lockever, less innocent. Many a good time ed up all night with the remains of a have I been diverted by fattening a rope murderer, diffected by the furgeons. acrofs our street in a dark night, to In Thort, Sir, there is scarcely a fashion. tumble unfufpecting passengers in the able article of reputation that I have not dirt; and many a cat have I tied to the acquired; but the hey.day of the fpirits knocker of a street-door, to throw the being long linee over, and reason be. first servant wench into fits, by whom it ginning to reflect upon pursuits which might be occafionally opened: the more nature is no longer able to continue, I mischief on these pretty little frolicks, took upon every former object of my the better amusement and I remem. admiration with a real concern, and an her never to have received so much realfa- insuperable contempt: and yet, Sir, at listaction, as being the cause in one night this age I have my enjoyments, which of an old woman's eye being scratched I cannot help pursuing with an avidity half out, and a man's breaking his leg. truly ridiculous. I pique myself not a

At seventeen, however, I began to little on smoaking half a dozen pipes of Book on amufeinents of this nature with an evening, and have lately contended an eye of disgust; my tiine was now for the honour of being the beft politiwholly taken up with an attendance cian at our club, in a long argument "pon every little girl in our neighbour. with Doctor Dozely the parfon about hoort; and between that age and twen- Magna Charta, and the natural rights ty-five I had the happiness of ruining of a free born Englithman. Yet, Sir

, nineteen. You can by no means con- is all this blaze of reputation worth liv. scive the transports 1 félt, Mr. Babler, ing for? I bluth to be diverted by such to survey so many victions to my per- trifles, but can by no means throw them


abled to cry

off. I am, in short, a convincing proof, can be at all equal to conscious satisfac-
Sir, of Solomon's sensible observation- tion of preparing for the unutterable
• that all is vanity and vexation of transports of the next.
• fpirit;' being perfectly sensible that

I am, Sir,
no happinets, or enjoyment of this life,



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NIVERSAL soever as the spirit 'weak from conftitution, the amiable

of ever as the countenance may be which undone, and the remorseless libertine of it receives from the polite world, there ours feels no compunction in the ruin of is no one fource from which such a num. her character, since the mostrous deber of calamities are produced, nor any pravity of general opinion induces him one spring which pours in such a variety to consider it as an enhancement of his of misfortunes upon fociety. Unhap. own. Nay, this vanity on the side of pily, in this gay age, the depravity of the ladies has sometimes been fo unac. manners has arisen to so enormous a de- countably absurd, that two sisters have gree, that it is in fome measure necessary quarrelled about the addresses of an for a young fellow to give into the fa- agreeable spoiler; and contended, with tionable follies, and practise vices to an inflexible sedulity, for the honour of which he has a real abhorrence, if he facrificing their peace of mind in this would establish the character of a man world, and endangering their everlasting of taste, or few himself tolerably well happiness in the next. acquainted with the world.

Independent of the lamentable conIn the prosecution of modern amour, fequences in point of character, which more than in any other vice, there are on the woman's part most commonly allurements which very few think them. attend a deviation from virtue, the et felyes capable of relifting, or even chufe fects which luch a deviation has upon to resilt, if they could: A man finds her spirits is generally fatal. There his vanity tickled, as well as his incli- is a loftness in the female mind, so very nation gratified, in the seduction of un- fusceptible of tender iinpreilions, that it wary innocence; and, abstracted from is next to imposible the idca of a fa. the transport relulting from posiellion voured lover should ever be erased; and itfelf, the generality of our fex think, as it is equally imposible that the liberwith an infinity of satisfaction, upon their tine profefled can contine himself to any own accomplishınents, and suppose they fingle attachment, the woman must nee must be pokletsed of some extraordinary cellarily be wretched when she knows qualifications, when a woman shews her that those vows and protestations are infenfibility of them at no less a price than difcriminately paid to the whole sex, her everlasting disgrace.

which the once vainly imagined were The faine vanity which impels the engrossed hy herself. Beldes this, there one sex to a pursuit of unwarrantable is an ingrateful fort of indolence in tbe amour, is the very reason why the other temp?r of the inan, which renders bim is ro feldom offended, when they even indiferent in proportion to the Audy know that a man's design is replignant taken 10 please him; and a spaniel-like to honour and virtue. The pleasure kind of fondness in te disposition of the arising from the adoration paid to a pretty woman, which increases her tenderness face, caits a veil over the infamous in- in proportion as the experiences his intention of him who offers is; and the difference or abuse. I feldom or never generality of women are content to be heard of a man who behaved commonly addrefled npon the footing of trumpets, civil to a woman who had granted him provided the offence which is offered to all the could grant, nor knew a woman the purity of their bearts is mingled once forget a man by whom she was with a well. turned compliment to the destroyed. I have an elegy before me, beauty of their perfons. Hence, actuat- in which a lady, ruined and forsaken, ed by vanity, and perhaps rendered paints the general situation of the sex in


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fuch circumstances, with no little senli- able woman, to a lady who oficiated bility; and as the performance has much as bride-maid to his wife, and who wa merit, I shall make no excuse for trans- weak enough to make him fome over. cribing a stanza er two, and submiting tures in a little time after the weddingthem to the judgment of my readers. day.

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That no Virgin would incline an ear

MADAM, To wild profetiions from inconstant UNFASHIONABLE foever as it youth,

may be for a gentleman to have any But nobiy scorn a sentiment to hear, notion of his moral duties, and inele. That seems to laugh at innocence and

gant soever as it may be in a husband truth.

to pay the least attention to his word as For if no just displeasure the reveals,

a man, I must take the liberty of inTime will convince her, dearly to her cost, forp ng you, that I have too just a reT'at step by step the tweet delusion feals, gard ior the vows which I have lately Till Fame and Honour are for ever lost, given to an excellent woman, in the pre

sence of the living God, to think of vio. The female mind may bid it's terrors cease, lating them, by liftening to any inlinua.

Who never made her lotter feelings known, tion of tenderness in others of the fex. Nor fear a thought destructive to her peace, And fuffer me, Madam, to add, that I While Prudence tells her to conceal her have not such a cruelty of temper as to

destroy the eternal quiet of a deferving But if, alas! in fome unguarded hour,

lady, which must inevitably be the cale From this advice she madly should depart, fions tell her what they will when the

in her moments of reflection, let the palShe gives her lover an unbounded pow'r 'Te wound her honour, and to break her reason is more off it's guard. I have heart.

such an opinion of you, Madam, as to

fuppose an intercourse of an illicit kind Ja vain the fair, to such a crisis drove,

would plant daggers in your bosom, in sense or foul superior will confide;

when that fine tense of which you are For when has reason triumph'd over love,

mistress had leave to exert itaf; and Or inclination been subdu'd by pride?

that, however the guilty commerce might Say, Heav'n! to whom my pray'r is now ad- be fecreted from the knowledge of the dreisd,

world, that recollection would harrow Why are we subject to ro hard a fate, up your soul, when you whispered it to That, tho the easy fondness of our breast

your own. Be still abus'd, we never wish to hate? Think, Madam, of your inexpreffi

ble beauty, your exalted merit, and your Forev’n this moment, when my grief has stole elevated rank; nor suffer an unhappy The aching tribute of a falling cear,

prepossession to lead you into any error I feel a foolith something round my soul Declare the soft betrayer is too dear.

repugnant to the regard which is due io

your own reputation, the honour of Alas! the anguish I am doom'd to prove,

your sex, and the happiness of your From real paffion only can begin;

friends; and, believe me, that an attenFor this fad drop proceeds from dlighted love; tion to this advice, whatever you may And pardon, Heav'n, no forrow for the fin. think of my behaviour at present, will

one day oblige you to confels, that I But, О ye powers! remore each softer trace am very much your real friend and most

That calls his faithless image to my eyes; obedient servant. For as I know him infamous and bale, It is but just I hate him and despise! Should any husband be in my friend's

situation, the advice I give him will be I thall conclude this paper with a let- a line from an old fashioned book, called ter sent by a young fellow of my ac. the Testamenm Go thou, and do quaintance, lately married to a molt ami, likewise.'




AVING taken the liberty in one pression of oaths and obscenity in the POLITICAL DICTIONARY, which was A tradefinon.] A fuperior fort of communicated to me by a personage of coach-horie, created entirely for the eminence in the literary world, whole convenience of the great, without either friendhip would do me the greatest ho-, pailions, resentinent, underítanding, or nour if it was not a fort of vanity to re- inclination. veal his name; I thail now lay before Unpardonable impudence.) An hummy readers a VOCABULARY of a more

ble folicitation for a person's own pro-, general nature, written by the same perry, and a prudent concern for the hand; which, I presume, will be no way maintenance of our wives and children. dilagreeable to such as remember the Pride and prod.gality.] The smallest Political Dictionary, as there was scarce distafie to poverty and rags, and the ly a periodical production in the British leatt inclination to a light-coloured dominions which did not immediately thit. take it in.

Debt.] A word under which persons Religion.] A ridiculous composition of fathion have a right to rob the honest of unfashionable ordinances, initituted and industrious, without any feor of with no other design than to check eve- fuffering from the laws of the kingry laudable impulse of vice and immo- dom, on the reproach of their acquaintrality, and calculated for no other purpofe than to destroy the very eflence of Transgresion of the lazu.] An exera fine gentleman.

tion of thar natural right, which every Generosity.] A pitiful under bred man has to a hare raarrrige belongpromptitude to reward the merit of the ingiv his own ground , 3011 which des deserving; like

froy both his corn and gruts by the aue. Humanity:] Which is nothing more thority of parliament, than a chindih washiness of nature at Liberty and property. ] An indifpenthe sufferings, and an inclination to re- fa'le pecetlity of keepin game for other move the misfortunes, of other people. people to kill, with pains and penalties

Gratitude.] A narrow-minded de- of the most arbitrary kind, if we think. spicable remeinbrance of benefits receiv. of appropriating the minutest article to ed, and a scandalous desire of embrac- the use of our own fum lies. ing every opportunity to return them. A free-born Enslifbman.) One who

Honour.] An idle regard to the dic. is continually bragging of liberty and tates of friendihip and benevolence, and independence, when he has neither will a paltry alherence to the ininuteft law nor propertyf his own; and laughs at of order and morality.

the 'wretchednets of over countries, Hone97.) A toolith regard to the while he himleif is indulged with no sanctity of our words upon every occa- other privilege than the right of nomifion, and a fervile abhorrence to the nating the person by whom he chules to sınallett trespass upon the property of be enslaved. our neighbours.

Magna Charta.} An idle word made Courage.] A low-minded aversion use of by the populace, fignifying a nae. of brutality to fuch as, from fituation tural right of being governed by laws in life, must not presume to resent a which ihey conítantly suffer to be tramhorse-whipping, or complain at the loss pleri on, and an inherent claim to the of an eye; and a filly defire of avoiding poffeflion of those privileges which they · all quarrels but such as relate to the ho- have neither fense or fpirit enough to nour of our king, or the glory of our poflefs. country.

A secretary of fate.] A great officer Decency.] A mean observation of in who'n crimes are no crimes, and who, common civility, and an infamous sup- by a political species of infallibility, can


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