Flirtations have made many old maids.-Milton. Female beauty is often of external application.-Cowper. Many fools have money, not by themselves earned.—Byron. A matrimonial alliance is an important step in the history of a man, one of life's great problems, upon the successful solution of which depends much happiness, little misery. The marriage institution is the oldest of divine institutions, though in later days we lose sight of its divinity, when we read of divorces because of potatoe quarrels and general knock-downs. Under this institution was made the first and greatest mistake in the history of our race, when Adam obeyed the advice of Eve, subscribed to the doctrine of "woman's rights," allowed her the "elective franchise," and ate the apple of original sin." What a mistake was that,-reaching down the course of time and generations! Yet how his descendants have ever erred in the same course of life! Some mistake in marrying for money; that they have only allied themselves 66 they find, when it is too late, to a golden calf. Some marry for beauty, some for station, some to please their friends, some for pleasure, some for learning, some for power, many too soon, some too late, but the greatest mistake of all is never to marry. Look at that walking bundle of oddities and whimsicalities, that embodiment of toothache, rheumatism, nightmare, heartache, nervousness and self-conceit,-the old bachelor! He goeth about the streets in the garments of ye dilapidated Gentiles, no "heavy English" adorneth his attenuated frame; he shunneth females, no crinoline saluteth him; he hasteneth home, he eateth ye solitary meal in silence, he drinketh ye poorly made tea; he wrappeth himself up in the solitude of single life; he thinketh Paul ye wise Apostle, and lieth down to ye frightful dreams of ye horrible women. tie of sympathy binds him to man, much less to woman? What Look upon her who hath never married, and never will, ye old maid. What a picture of forlorn misery and lost hopes! She thinketh upon the misimproved past with many tears; she seeth no man in the future; she regaleth herself with cat-nip tea; she joineth ye "sewing society," and maketh clothes for ye cannibals; she taketh a class in ye "Sunday School;" bad boys call her "the ancient patriarch of Israel;" she singeth ye Psalms of David with a celestial voice; she retaileth the town-news; she telleth what "they said," and spreadeth the rumors; she sitteth alone in the synagogue, weareth the antiquated apparel, despiseth ye crinoline, useth no false teeth, washeth not with Phalon's Lotion; she mocketh the fashions, although she readeth that the old maids of primitive times were swept away by the deluge, yet she calleth no man master. Beholding every day such specimens of isolated humanity, and believing the bonds of double existence preferable to the freedom of single life, man seeks an object upon which to bestow his "boundless love." Ye students even feel ye tender passion. 66 Ye Freshman cometh to College, he heareth with pleasure that the city overfloweth with ye beautiful women, he studieth at first for ye high stand," he sitteth up till midnight, he burneth the oil of industry, he reciteth with fear and bewaileth ye "low stand," he flunketh excessively, he goeth about the streets in tears, he wisheth himself home. But he heareth of "quails," he buyeth Cologne, he speculateth in "Bear's Oil," he dresseth himself in fine linen, he flourisheth ye expansive cotton handkerchief, he gazeth upon ye beautiful maidens, he loseth sight of ye mighty valedictory, he getteth ye Yale Banger, he weareth ye small society pin in ye very prominent posi |