subaltern, somewhat puzzled. "What can be the matter with the confounded thing at all?"

"It's new rope, a lot of it, sir," suggested a sergeant reassuringly; "it's bound to stretch a bit at first. She'll come along first-rate directly." "Haul away!" shouted the subaltern, and just then a recruit presented himself before him. The youth was somewhat décolleté, he had a towel in his hand, and there was a polish on his countenance which betokened recent indulgence in ablutions. "Will you go away off out of this to the devil!" was the subaltern's greeting to the recruit, uttered with unmistakable asperity.

a

But the recruit, although somewhat abashed, had a duty to perform, and he was going to perform it or to perish in the attempt. "Beggin' yer parding, sir," he stammered, all in a flutter so to speak, "but I thought as I oughter tell you."

"All right. Tell me," said the subaltern testily, one eye on the gunners hauling on the rope, the other on the gun mounting, the unconquerable inertia of which was becoming a little disheartening.

The recruit hereupon became suddenly quite garrulous and confidential. "Beggin' yer parding, sir, but we'd just done our drill, sir, with carbines, sir. We was doing the firin' exercise, sir; fust time as we done the kneelin' position. 'Urts, sir, that there sittin' on yer 'eel when y'ain't used

to it, sir. And when we was broke off, I thought as 'ow I'd go to the wash-'ouse, sir, for to 'ave a wash, sir."

"Well, you wouldn't be going there to say your prayers, would you?" interpolated the subaltern.

"No, sir. For to 'ave a wash, sir. And beggin' yer parding, sir, I'd just turned on the tap and let the water run a bit, sir, and I sticks my 'ead in the basin, sir, and just then the 'ole place begins shakin', shakin' 'orrid, and

"Stand fast!" roared the subaltern. "Good Lord! if we haven't been shifting the wash-house instead of the gun." And so they had. In place of the wash-house acting as a holdfast for moving the gun backwards, the gun had acted as a holdfast for moving the wash-house forwards; and it took a whole sheet of foolscap written on both sides in the general's own hand to the War Office before the military authorities at headquarters could be persuaded not to make the subaltern pay for the damage. In the end a communication arrived from Pall Mall to say that under all the circumstances of the case the Secretary of State approved of the cost being borne by the public,-but the thing was not to happen again. When the Duke of Cambridge came down to inspect shortly afterwards and was told the story, he was delighted, and he desired that the subaltern (who, however, had in the meantime left the

station) should be presented to him.

One is necessarily brought a good deal into contact with the Sister Service when in the Garrison Artillery, and most welcome facilities have been afforded of late years to coast defenders for studying gunnery methods on board ship. On the other hand, those high up in the Royal Navy watch the working of the forts with great interest, and they are always ready to undertake combined manoeuvres designed to test the efficiency of our maritime fortresses. The FieldMarshal in command told me, when out at Gibraltar to witness a mobilisation a few years ago, of an incident which had occurred at the previous exercise of the same kind. The Mediterranean Fleet was making a sham attack on the Rock, and in the heat of action the detachment at one of the guns of a battery which was engaging the flagship, H.M.S. Cæsar, put in a shot by mistake. However, as only blank ammunition was being used, which means 8 very small charge, the projectile merely dropped into the sea with a portentous splash a long way short of the battleship. The gallant Admiral on board promptly signalled in a message to the Governor, requesting that His Excellency would not "make the operations quite so realistic." His Excellency signalled back, "Aut Caesar, aut nullus."

In one station where I was quartered there was a very

distinguished sailor reigning as Naval Commander-in-Chief, who was equally noted for his brilliant professional attainments, for his boundless hospitality, and for the shortness of his temper. He was always giving dances, and he made a great point of these functions going off with all possible éclat. At one of his pleasant parties one evening I was recovering breath for a moment, free of engagements, when I felt myself gripped by the arm and found the admiral at my elbow looking very fierce. "Why aren't you dancing?" he demanded with a most uncompromising note in his voice. The plea of exhaustion and lack of a partner was unceremoniously waved aside. "Will you dance," he snarled ferociously. "Now! This instant!" Contumacy, or even hesitation, would probably have meant being put in irons on the spot, so the first eligible lady who was available was seized upon and whirled off into the

vortex.

There is a story told of him that one morning he had given a tremendous telling-off to a young officer for some delinquency. He was, however, the kindest - hearted of men, and when his anger had evaporated later in the day, it struck him that he had perhaps been somewhat harder on a youngster, whom he knew to be both keen and capable, than the circumstances of the case quite warranted. So he summoned the officer to an interview in the stern - walk

in one of the principal hotels in Modena, which had been taken for the purpose by the Italian Government, and there we were entertained in princely fashion.

We all messed together in the spacious salle à manger, and had our places told off to us 80 as to intermingle the various missions as much as possible. On the first evening at dinner, and before we had shaken off the preliminary awkwardness and had come to be on terms of camaraderie, I was much taken aback on observing my vis-à-vis, a formidable looking Austrian colonel, "up end" his knife and fork of a sudden, like a bluejacket tossing oars, and fix me (as I thought) with a stare of indignation and abhorrence. Then in an emphatic tone he pronounced the words, "Mangiate come un lupo!" (He eats like a wolf.) It was a considerable relief to find that the gallant colonel had a slight cast in one eye, and that he was in reality looking past me over my shoulder at one of our "colleagues" at a table behind, who represented the military forces of a portion of the Near East. These military missions were to a certain extent under the ægis of the Foreign Office, and So one involuntarily adopted some of the jargon current in the diplomatic world. Secretaries of embassy, and hangers - on at our legations abroad, and people of that kind, always refer to other local representatives of foreign countries as their "colleagues."

"There's that miserable little beast, my -ese colleague, over the other side of the road. D'y'ever see such an object? Hé! Là bas! Papipoupolo mon vieux. Comment ça va c'matin? Moi? Moi, je me trouve à merveil. Et vous?"

We had to be up at cockcrow and, after a hasty meal, we took the train, picked up our horses at a station some miles off, rode about with the troops until past noon, and then railed back to Modena, to arrive there covered with dust and in a half- famished condition. After the first day a question arose, which was seriously discussed by an informal committee consisting of the heads of missions, as to whether we were in future on returning to make ourselves look respectable before déjeûner, or whether we were to defer that process until the meal was over. The committee decided, in accordance with the general wish, that the repast was to have priority. When we got back from the field next day, we of the British mission hurried to our rooms, washed our hands and sponged the dust out of our eyes, and reappeared in a minute or two. The others regarded this proceeding with marked disapproval. It was just like "les anglais." They wore white helmets. They did everything differently from everybody else. So we had to conform to the general practice, and to enjoy the welcome meal in quite unnecessary discomfort.