Thefe, to the church they fight for ftrangers,

Have faith in nothing but her dangers ;

While those, a more believing people,

Can fwallow all things

but a steeple.

But I, my Lord, who, as you know,

Care little how these matters go,

And equally deteft the ftrife

And usual joys of country life,
Have by good fortune little share
Of its diverfions, or its care;
For feldom I with 'fquires unite,
Who hunt all day and drink all night;

Nor reckon wonderful inviting,
A quarter-feffions, or cock-fighting.
But then no farm I occupy,

With sheep to rot, and cows to die:
Nor rage I much, or much despair,
Tho' in my hedge I find a fnare ;
Nor view I, with due admiration,
All the high honours here in fashion;
The great commiffions of the quorum,
Terrors to all who come before 'em ;

Militia

Militia fcarlet edg'd with gold,

Or the white staff high sheriffs hold;
The reprefentative's careffing,

The judge's bow, the bishop's bleffing;
Nor can I for my foul delight

In the dull feast of neighb'ring knight,
Who, if you fend three days before,

In white gloves meets you at the door,
With fuperfluity of breeding

First makes you fick, and then with feeding:

Or if, with ceremony cloy'd,

You would next time fuch plagues avoid,

And vifit without previous notice,

JOHN, JOHN, a coach!-I can't think who 'tis,

My lady cries, who spies your coach,

Ere you the avenue approach;

Lord, how unlucky!-washing day! ·
And all the men are in the hay!
Entrance to gain is something hard,
The dogs all bark, the gates are barr'd;
The yard's with lines of linen cross'd,
The hall door's lock'd, the key is loft;

Thefe

Thefe difficulties all o'ercome,

We reach at length the drawing-room;
Then there's fuch trampling over-head,
Madam, you'd fwear, was brought to bed;
Miss in a hurry bursts her lock,

To get clean fleeves to hide her smock;
The fervants run, the pewter clatters,
My lady dreffes, calls, and chatters;

The cook-maid raves for want of butter,

Pigs fqueak, fowls fcream, and green geese flutter.
Now after three hours tedious waiting,
On all our neighbours faults debating,

And having nine times view'd the garden,
In which there's nothing worth a farthing,
In comes my lady, and the pudden :
You will excufe, fir,-on a fudden→→

Then, that we may have four and four,
The bacon, fowls, and collyflow'r

And by and by, the fecond courfe
Comes lagging like a distanc'd horse;

A falver

A falver then to church and king,
The butler fweats, the glaffes ring;

The cloth remov'd, the toafts go round,
Bawdy and politics abound;

And as the knight more tipsy waxes,

We damn all minifters and taxes.

At laft the ruddy fun quite funk,

The coachman tolerably drunk,
Whirling o'er hillocks, ruts, and stones,
Enough to dislocate one's bones,

We home return, a wond'rous token

Of Heaven's kind care, with limbs unbroken.
Afflict us not, ye Gods, tho' finners,

With many days like this, or dinners!

But if civilities thus teaze me,

Nor business, nor diverfions please me:
You'll afk, my Lord, how time I spend?
I answer, with a book or friend :
The circulating hours dividing

'Twixt reading, walking, eating, riding;

But books are ftill my highest joy,

These earliest please, and latest cloy.

Sometimes

Sometimes o'er diftant climes I ftray,

By guides experienc'd taught the way;
The wonders of each region view,

From frozen LAPLAND to PERU;

Bound o'er rough feas, and mountains bare,

Yet ne'er forfake my elbow chair.

Sometimes fome fam'd hiftorian's pen

Recalls paft ages back agen,

Where all I fee, thro' ev'ry page,

Is but how men, with fenfeless rage,
Each other rob, destroy, and burn,
To serve a priest's, or ftatefman's turn;
Tho' loaded with a diff'rent aim,
Yet always affes much the fame.
Sometimes I view with much delight,
Divines their holy game-cocks fight;
Here faith and works, at variance fet,
Strive hard who shall the vict'ry get;
Presbytery and episcopacy

They fight fo long, it would amaze ye :
Here free-will holds a fierce difpute

With reprobation abfolute;

2

There