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WELL now I 'm sure I don't know why in the world it was
put there, Standing up in the middle of the face like the gnomon of a
súndial, Very much, as one would say, in the way of the pássers by, And exposed to heat and cold, wet and dry, all the winds
Don't tell me that it was for the sake of beaúty it was ever
set up there, Still less that it was for utility, i. e. by way of a handle, And as to the hints I sometimes hear that it was out of mere
whim or vagary, I assure you I 'm not the man to lend an ear to insinuations
of that sort.
But I 'll tell you the idea that has just now flashed across
my mind And which of course I hold myself at liberty to correct as I
improve in knowledge, For these are improving times, as you know, and the whole
world 's in progress, And the only wonder is, that with all our advancement we 're
so very far behind yet.
Now my idea 's neither móre nor less than that it was set up
where it is simply because God Hadn't, or couldn't at the moment find, a more convenient
spot to pút it in; And I 'm further of opinion that if you or I had had the
placing of it, It 's no better but a thousand times worse it would have been
placed than nów it is.
: little too far fórward set, Like a camp picket or vedette upon the very fore front and
. edge of danger, Still there 's no denying the solidity and security of its basis, And that it rarely if ever happens it 's obliged to evacuate
And with his right hand clenched till it looked like a sledge
hammer or mason's mallet Strike it such a blow right in the face as you 'd swear must
annihilate it, Or at least send its ghost down dolefully whimpering to Orcus.
Nay, I 've seen its best friend and nearest earthly relative With a giant's grasp lay hold of it, and squeeze it between
finger and thumb, Till it roared with downright agony as loud as a braying ass
or élephant, And yet, the moment after, it seemed not a hair the worse
but rather refreshed by it.
But all this is scarce worth mentioning in comparison of what
I 've seen it bear At the hands of that same nátural friend, ally, and protector, Who twenty times a day or, if the humor happened so to take him, A húndred times a day would in one of the dark cellars under it
Explode all on a sudden so strong a détonating powder
granite casemate That wouldn't have tumbled down incontinent at the very first
concussion, And yet that wondrous piece of flesh and bone seemed but
to take delight in it.
But, sétting aside these wholly minor and secondary consi
derations, What would you say of an architect who had constrúcted a face
other on the left side of it, And yet had made no manner of provision at all for the
support of a pair of spectacles ?
So avaunt with your idle criticisms, your good-for-nothing
stuff and twaddle, Such as one dozes over a-nights in the Quarterly just before
one goes to bed, And let me have a pinch out of your canister, for I know
it 's the genuine Lundy More care - easing even than Nepenthe, than Ambrosia more
odoriferous. DalkeY LODGE, DALKEY (IRELAND), Dec. 16, 1854.
On the day before the first day
Só upon the next day Gód rose
“Bravo! bravo! that's a good job,” Said God when his eye the light caught;
Á convénient place to live in.”
Só upon the next day Gód rose
“Well! a líttle work is pleasant,”
Só upon the third day Gód made
Spinning twirling like teetótum,
Whó made th’ ángels? if you ásk me,
Bút no mátter — some one made them, Ánd they came about him flócking, Wondering at the súdden fit of Mánufácturing that had táken him: –
“It's a pretty báll,” they áll said; “Dó pray tell us whát 's the use of it; Wón't you máke a great many of them? Wé would like to seé them trúndling."
“Wait until tomorrow," said God, “And I think I 'll show you something; This is quite enoúgh for one day, And you know I 'm bút beginning.”
Só about noon on the fourth day,