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„In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear
And your Lordship,” he said, “will undoubtedly find That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear;
Which amounts to possession time out of mind.”
Then holding the spectacles up to the court: –
“Your Lordship observes they are made with a straddle As wide as the ridge of the Nose is: in short,
Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.
“Again would your Lordship a moment suppose
('Tis a case that has happened, and may be again)
Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then ?
“On the whole it appears, and my argument shows,
With a reasoning the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.”
Having thus made a case on behalf of the Nose
No less valid in law than in equity strong, Tongue changed sides and with arguments weighty as blows
Showed the spectacles only to Eyes could belong:
upon his nose. In order to guard my report against all tinge of a similar predilection for the eyes (a predilection of which I acknowledge I cannot wholly divest myself, the eyes in my case having always had the use of the spectacles), I have taken the precaution not to draw my account of the arguments of Counsel on behalf of the nose from the same source from which I have drawn my account of the plea of the eyes and of the final compromise, viz. the books of the Court of Uncommon Pleas, the court in which the case was tried and in which I have been so fortunate as to find a complete record of it, but to adopt Nose's arguments verbatim and literatim from the report of Nose's best friend, Mr. Cowper himself.
“My Lord, spectacles being, as we all know, a pair,
And Eyes a pair also, while Nose is but one, That it 's Eyes and not Nose that should spectacles wear
Is as plain and as clear as at noonday the sun.
On the ground of his fitting exactly the straddle, Why, my Lord, allow that, and you can't but allow
That the horse owns by right both the rider and saddle.”
Here the court, interrupting, proposed compromise —
Between next-door neighbours such strife 's a disgrace And Nose waived his claim, on condition that Eyes
Should from thenceforth let spectacles lie in their case.
DALKEY LODGE, DALKEY (IRELAND); Febr. 11, 1855.
“Epicuri de grege porcum."
Ás a full glass and roaring fire,
DALKEY LODGE, DALKEY; Jan. 25, 1855.
FROM his shroúd the dead man peéping
Nót a word the dead man said,
Gód keep me from going back.
WHAT benéficent Jóve was ’t, or Búddh or Osiris
DALKEY LODGE, DALKEY (IRELAND); April 13, 1855.
From my bédroom, in my gówn,
Át my breakfast when I sít
When I táke my hát and stick,
When I walk along the street
With: – “Good morning! hów do you do ?” Tráy's nose ásks each: - “Who are you ?”
Tó Belinda's when I come,
When I rise to go away
Dówn the street toward my hall - doór
Tó my doór got, if bell-ring
Ópened when the door at lást,
Liés with múzzle on the ground,
Hérald neár approaching Threé,
Súch our fórenoons; would you know
DALKEY LODGE, DALKEY (IRELAND); April 8, 1855.