THE TATLER, No. XXXII.

THURSDAY, JUNE 20, 1709.

I

"To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, ESQUIRE.*

66 SIR,

June 18, 1709.

KNOW not whether you ought to pity or laugh at me; for I am fallen desperately in love with a professed Platonne, the most unaccountable creature of her sex. To hear her talk seraphics, and

This paper is written in ridicule of some affected ladies of the period, who pretended, with rather too much ostentation, to embrace the doctrines of Platonic Love. Mrs Mary Astell, a learned and worthy woman, had embraced this fantastic notion so deeply, that, in an essay upon the female sex, in 1696, she proposed a sort of female college, in which the young might be instructed, and "ladies nauseating the parade of the world," might find a happy retirement. The plan was disconcerted by Bishop Burnet, who, understanding that the queen intended to give 10,000l. towards the establishment, dissuaded her, by an assurance, that it would lead to the introduction of popish orders, and be called a nunnery. This lady is the Madonella of the Tatler. The Rake is supposed to be Mr Repinton, a fashionable gallant. This paper has been censured as a gross reflection on Mrs Astell's character, but on no very just foundation. Swift only prophesies the probable issue of such a scheme, as that of the protestant nunnery; and it is a violent interpretation of his words to suppose him to insinuate, that the conclusion had taken place without the premises. Indeed, the scourge of ridicule is seldom better employed than on that species of Precieuse, who is anxious to confound the boundaries which nature has fixed for the employments and studies of the two sexes. No man was more zealous than

run over Norris,* and More, † and Milton, and the whole set of Intellectual Triflers, torments me heartily; for, to a lover who understands metaphors, all this pretty prattle of ideas gives very fine views of pleasure, which only the dear declaimer prevents, by understanding them literally why should she wish to be a cherubim, when it is flesh and blood that makes her adorable? If I speak to her, that is a high breach of the idea of intuition. If I offer at her hand or lip, she shrinks from the touch like a sensitive plant, and would contract herself into mere spirit. She calls her chariot, vehicle; her furbelowed scarf, pinions; her blue manteau and petticoat is her azure dress; and her footman goes by the name of Oberon. It is my misfortune to be six feet and a half high, two full spans between the shoulders, thirteen inches diameter in the calves; and, before I was in love, I had a noble stomach, and usually went to bed sober with two bottles. I am not quite six-and-twenty, and my nose is marked truly aquiline. For these reasons, I am

Swift for informing the female mind, in those points most becoming and useful to their sex. His Letter to a Young Married Lady, and Thoughts on Education, point out the extent of those studies, which embraced a general knowledge of history, some taste for poetry, and a general acquaintance with books of travels, and moral and entertaining discourses :-it seems very doubtful, whether most ladies, who advance into abstruser branches of knowledge, do not lose more than they can possibly gain.

John Norris, author of "The Theory and Regulation of Love." His corresponder ce with Mrs Astell was published under the following title: "Letters concerning the Love of God, between the Author of the Proposal to the Ladies and Mr John Norris, wherein his late Discourse, shewing it ought to be entire and exclusive of all other Loves, is cleared and justified. Published by J. Norris, M. A. Rector of Bamerton, near Sarum. London, 1695.” + Dr Henry More, well known as a fanciful Platonist and Divine.

in a very particular manner her aversion. What shall I do? Impudence itself cannot reclaim her. If I write miserably, she reckons me among the children of perdition, and discards me her region: if I assume the gross and substantial, she plays the real ghost with me, and vanishes in a moment. I had hopes in the hypocrisy of her sex; but perseverance makes it as bad as fixed aversion. I desire your opinion, whether I may not lawfully play the inquisition upon her, make use of a little force, and put her to the rack and torture, only to convince her, she has really fine limbs, without spoiling or distorting them. I expect your directions, before I proceed to dwindle and fall away with despair; which at present I do not think adviseable, because, if she should recant, she may then hate me, perhaps, in the other extreme, for my tenuity. I am (with impatience) your most humble servant,

"CHARLES STURDY."

My patient has put his case with very much warmth, and represented it in so lively a manner, that I see both his torment and tormentor with great perspicuity. This order of Platonic ladies are to be dealt with in a manner peculiar from all the rest of the sex. Flattery is the general way, and the way in this case; but it is not to be done grossly. Every man that has wit, and humour, and raillery, can make a good flatterer for women in general; but a Platonne is not to be touched with panegyric: she will tell you, it is a sensuality in the soul to be delighted that way. You are not therefore to commend, but silently consent to all she does and says. You are to consider, in her the scorn of you is not humour, but opinion.

There were, some years since, a set of these ladies who were of quality, and gave out, that virginity was to be their state of life during this mortal condition, and therefore resolved to join their fortunes, and erect a nunnery. The place of residence was pitched upon; and a pretty situation, full of natural falls and risings of waters, with shady coverts, and flowery arbours, was approved by seven of the founders. There were as many of our sex who took the liberty to visit their mansions of intended severity; among others, a famous rake of that time, who had the grave way to an excellence. He came in first; but, upon seeing a servant coming towards him, with a design to tell him this was no place for him or his companions, up goes my grave impudence to the maid; "Young woman," said he, "if any of the ladies are in the way on this side of the house, pray carry us on the other side towards the gardens: we are, you must know, gentlemen that are travelling England; after which we shall go into foreign parts, where some of us have already been." Here he bows in the most humble manner, and kissed the girl, who knew not how to behave to such a sort of carriage. He goes on: "Now you must know we have an ambition to have it to say, that we have a protestant nunnery in England: but pray, Mrs Betty". "Sir," she replied, 66 my name is Susan, at your service.” “ Then I heartily beg your pardon" least," said she, for I whose name is Betty."

"No offence in the have a cousin-german, Indeed," said he, "I protest to you, that was more than I knew; I spoke at random: but since it happens that I was near in the right, give me leave to present this gentleman to the favour of a civil salute." His friend advances, and so on, until they had all sa

luted her. By this means the poor girl was in the middle of the crowd of these fellows, at a loss what to do, without courage to pass through them; and the Platonics, at several peep-holes, pale, trembling, and fretting. Rake perceived they were observed, and therefore took care to keep Sukey in chat with questions concerning their way of life; when appeared at last Madonella, a lady who had writ a fine book concerning the recluse life, and was the projectrix of the foundation. She approaches into the hall; and Rake, knowing the dignity of his own mien and aspect, goes deputy from his company. She begins, "Sir,

am obliged to follow the servant, who was sent out to know what affair could make strangers press upon a solitude which we, who are to inhabit this place, have devoted to heaven and our own thoughts?” “ "Madam," replies Rake, with an air of great distance, mixed with a certain indifference, by which he could dissemble dissimulation, " your great intention has made more noise in the world than you design it should; and we travellers, who have seen many foreign institutions of this kind, have a curiosity to see, in its first rudiments, the seat of primitive piety; for such it must be called by future ages, to the eternal honour of the founders: I have read Madonella's excellent and seraphic discourse on this subject." The lady immediately answered, "If what I have said could have contributed to raise any thoughts in you that may make for the advancement of intellectual and divine conversation, I should think myself extremely happy." He immediately fell back with the profoundest veneration; then advancing, "Are you then that admired lady? If I may approach lips which have uttered things so sacred."He salutes her. His