King Charles II of England, when he entered into the second Dutch war; and in many other actions during his whole reign.

Philip II. of Spain, after the defeat of the Armada.

The emperor Charles V,. when he resigned his crown, and nobody would believe his reasons.

King Charles I. of England, when, in gallantry to his queen, he thought to surprise her with a present of a diamond buckle, which he pushed down her breast, and tore her flesh with the tongue; upon which she drew it out, and flung it on the ground.

Fairfax, the parliament general, at the time of king Charles's trial. *

Julius Cæsar, when Anthony offered to put a diadem on his head, and the people shouted for joy to see him decline it; which he never offered to do, until he saw their dislike in their counte

nances.

Coriolanus, when he withdrew his army from Rome at the entreaty of his mother.

Hannibal, at Antiochus's court.

Beau Fielding, at fifty years old, when, in a

the reputation of a gentleman; in lieu of which, if I am not mistaken, the king made him a knight, a baron, a viscount, and an earl, in one day; as he well deserved, having for his sake, or rather out of fear, transgressed all the gradations of honour.". Osborne's Traditional Memorials, apud Works, Lon. 1673. 8. P. 505.

* When he was generally supposed to have determined on saving the king, but suffered himself to be outwitted by Cromwell.

+ Robert Fielding of Fielding Hall, commonly called Beau Fielding. He was very handsome, and set up as a fortune hunter; but, meeting with a female more able than himself, he was tricked into marriage, under the idea of her being possessed of a large fortune, while, in truth, she was as pennyless as obscure. This incident, he conceived, ought not to suspend his career of fortune, and

quarrel upon the stage, he was run into his breast, which he opened and showed to the ladies, that he might move their love and pity; but they all fell a laughing.

The count de Bussy Rabutin, when he was recalled to court after twenty years' banishment into the country, and affected to make the same figure he did in his youth.

The earl of Sunderland, when he turned papist in the time of king James II. and underwent all the forms of a heretic converted.

Pope Clement VII,. when he was taken prisoner, at Rome, by the emperor Charles the Fifth's for

ces.

Queen Mary of Scotland, when she suffered Bothwell to ravish her, and pleaded that as an excuse for marrying him.

King John of England, when he gave up his kingdom to the pope, to be held as a fief to the see of Rome.

accordingly, sixteen days after it took place, Beau Fielding united himself to the most noble Barbara Duchess of Cleaveland. He was tried for felony at the Old Bailey, and his second marriage set aside. He himself had the benefit of clergy, and this odd adventure closed the long list of the Duchess of Cleaveland's gallantries, which, commencing with the restoration, had run through nearly four reigns, not a little distinguished by their promiscuous and motley complexion. Fielding is described by the Tatler, No. 50. under the name of Orlando, and is said to be" full but not loaded with years." From the account there given of him, as well as the anecdote in the text, it would seem that conceit of his conquests, and vanity of his figure, had crazed his brain. He received the wound mentioned by Swift, at Mrs Oldfield's benefit. The com bat took place betwixt him and Mr Fullwood, a barrister, whose foot he had trodden upon in pressing forward to display his person to most advantage. His antagonist was killed in a duel the very same night, having engaged in a second theatrical quarrel. The conduct of the hero might be sufficiently absurd; but a wound of several inches depth, was an odd subject of ridicule. Fielding dicd about 1712.

OF

· PUBLIC ABSURDITIES IN ENGLAND.

:

Ir is a common topic of satire, which you will hear not only from the mouths of ministers of state, but of every whiffler in office, that half a dozen obscure fellows, over a bottle of wine or a dish of coffee, shall presume to censure the actions of parliaments and councils, to form schemes of government, and new-model the commonwealth; and this is usually ridiculed as a pragmatical disposition to politics, in the very nature and genius of the people. It may possibly be true and yet I am grossly deceived if any sober man, of very moderate talents, when he reflects upon the many ridiculous hurtful maxims, customs, and general rules of life, which prevail in this kingdom, would not with great reason be tempted, according to the present turn of his humour, either to laugh, lament, or be angry; or, if he were sanguine enough, perhaps to dream of a remedy. It is the mistake of wise and good men, that they expect more reason and virtue from human nature, than, taking it in the bulk, it is in any sort capable of. Whoever has been present at councils or assemblies of any sort, if he be a man of common prudence, cannot but have observed such results and opinions to have frequently passed a majority, as he would be ashamed to advance in private conversation. I say nothing of cruelty, oppression, injustice, and the like, because these are fairly to

"be accounted for in all assemblies, as best gratifying the passions and interests of leaders; which is a point of such high consideration, that all others must give place to it. But I would be understood here to speak only of opinions ridiculous, foolish, and absurd; with conclusions and actions suitable to them, at the same time when the most reasonable propositions are often unanimously rejected. And as all assemblies of men are liable to this accusation, so likewise there are natural absurdities from which the wisest states are not exempt; which proceed less from the nature of their climate, than that of their government; the Gauls, the Britons, the Spaniards, and Italians, having retained very little of the characters given them in ancient history.

By these and the like reflections, I have been often led to consider some public absurdities in our own country, most of which are, in my opinion, directly against the rules of right reason, and are attended with great inconveniencies to the state. I shall mention such of them as come into memory, without observing any method; and I shall give my reason why I take them to be absurd in their nature, and pernicious in their consequence.

It is absurd that any person, who professes a different form of worship, from that which is national, should be trusted with a vote for electing members into the house of commons: because every man is full of zeal for his own religion, although he regards not morality; and therefore will endeavour to his utmost to bring in a representative of his own principles, which, if they be popular, may endanger the religion established; and which, as it has formerly happened, may alter the whole frame of government.

A standing army in England, whether in time of peace or war, is a direct absurdity: for it is no part of our business to be a warlike nation, otherwise than by our fleets. In foreign wars we have no concern, farther than in junction with allies, whom we may either assist by sea, or by foreign troops paid with our money: but mercenary troops in England, can be of no use, except to awe se nates, and thereby promote arbitrary power, in a monarchy or oligarchy.

any

That the election of senators should be of charge to the candidates, is an absurdity: but that it should be so to a ministry, is a manifest acknowledgment of the worst designs. If a ministry intended the service of their prince and country, or well understood wherein their own security best consisted (as it is impossible that a parliament freely elected, according to the origi nal institution, can do any hurt to a tolerable prince or tolerable ministry), they would use the strongest methods to leave the people to their own free choice: the members would then con sist of persons who had the best estates in the neighbourhood or country, or at least, never of strangers. And surely this is at least full as requisite a circumstance to a legislator, as to a juryman, who ought to be, if possible, er vicinio; since such persons must be supposed the best judges of the wants and desires of their several boroughs and counties. To choose a representative for Berwick, whose estate is at Land's End, would have been thought in former times a very great solecism. How much more as it is at present, where so many persons are returned for boroughs, who do not possess a foot of land in the kingdom?

By the old constitution, whoever possessed a freehold in land, by which he was a gainer of for