THE PORT FOLIO.

THIS miscellany has at length made its appearance, and we believe, not in its typographical elegance, but in the talents which are displayed in it, has generally gratified the desires of impatience, and fulfilled the expectations of criticism. How far the entire exclusion of all political and religious topicks may be popular, the conductors, having probably reflected much upon the plan, are undoubtedly the most experienced judges. For our part, we consider them topicks of the most general inter, est, and we believe there has never long existed any publication of great celebrity or circulation, which has not been obliged to take some decided part in the political and religious controvers sies of the times. The Gentleman's Magazine, certainly, soon after it was established, resorted to political discussion to increase its circulation; the Monthly and Edinburgh Reviews, Aikin's Athenæum, the Literary Panorama, and the Monthly Magazine, all maintain a certain set of political opinions, and adhere to them with the most scrupulous pertinacity. Whilst, therefore, we should naturally be led to doubt, whether a publication conducted on the present plan of the Port Folio would probably excite a very extended interest in the publick mind, yet we are ardent admirers of the abilities with which the work ap: pears to be conducted, and we want no further poof to convince us how effectually it will vindicate the literary reputation of America.'

As the basis on which the conductors of this publication intend to erect their reputation is literature exclusively, so to give variety to the parts and beauty to the whole fabrick, they expect to derive assistance from many workmen. The Biographer, the Satirist, the Dramatick Critick, the Antiquary, the Philoso pher, the Essayist, the Historian, the Poet, the Traveller, the Humourist, the Novelist, and Man of Science will lend their aid to diversify and adorn with their united powers the pages of the Port Folio. We cannot question the ability of the whole confederacy, when the pleasures we have derived from the labours of only one of them for a long course of years, have been so exquisite and powerful. This solid column of literature,' has indeed a broad base; and if a purely literary establishment can succeed

in this country, such conductors as those apparently concerned in this work, and such only will be able to attain an object at the same time so desirable and uncertain. We shall delight to mark the luminous progress of this orb through the literary hemisphere; but we fear it will rather resemble a comet, calculated to excite our wonder and amazement for a transient period, than a luminary of steadier light, which we can permanently enjoy. We think that the scholar and philosopher 'will delight to encourage so praiseworthy an establishment:" but they are few, and widely scattered in our country; as to the 'merchant, manufacturer and man of the world,' we believe few of them would peruse, and still fewer applaud a publication, the object of which is to extend the boundaries of science, add new accuracy to taste, and cultivate the growth of literary enterprize.

THE NEW CHURCH.

THE NEW MEETING-HOUSE, which is to be erected at the head of the Mall, should, in order to be made a profitable speculation, contain a cellar of sufficient convenience to admit grog-shops and confectioners' stalls, like that under the Old South. It will be found a place of extremely convenient resort for the coach-men and other idle gentlemen, who frequent that part of the town; and will not be in any respect inconsistent with the principles of Calvinism, which the church itself will espouse. The leaders may then have abundant proofs of the natural depravity of man, and of the influence of the spirit in counteracting human reason. They may expect a hopeful stock of recruits, with all the important qualifications requisite to be admitted into the ranks of Hopkinsianism, viz. first, a loss of reason; next, an abundance of ardent spirit; and lastly, an ample stock of natural depravity. The great increase of such incomprehensible tenets of late years may perhaps be accounted for, from the combination of grog-shops with meeting-houses, so frequently observable in New-England.

I

[Vol. 1.

WE are obliged to a correspondent for the following ODE, which we think will vindicate the reputation of the writer from the charge of being addicted to a simplicity bordering on folly in his compositions. There are expressions in this composition, of a most elevating and surprising effect; and it will certainly trope, simile and metaphor it, as Mr. Bayes says, with any ode in Christendom. OP 222. que mitullo; ...

STRAP the razor so keen! strap the RAZOR again!į, 2011
And Smallpeace WILL shave 'em if he can come at 'em :-
From his STOOL, clad in aprons, he springs up amain,
Like a barber refresh'd by the SMELL OF ROMATUMA
From the place where he lay,

He springs IN array, the thus albur'a tu a
Like barbers THAT shave in the face of the day;
And swears from pollution our FACES he'll clean,NG TOG
Our CHEEKS, necks and UPPER lips, WHISKERS and chin!

In THE land of his birth HE rejoices to find m
From the old race of BARBERS a young generation,
Who leave NOT one hair, save the wHISKERS, behind,
And who lather and shave WITH devout contemplation^;
Whose RAZORS so keenllon mod unha esd 5!
WILL shave you so clean, bas du CALAHO WO
That not a loose HAIR on your face shall BE seen!
Who have sworn from pollution our faces to clean, A
Our checks, NECKS, and upper LIPS, WHISKERS and chin!

III.

O'er our cheeks SEE the snowy white lather advance !

ITS fumes warm THE face, and run swift up our noses.

*

Now o'er the cerebrum the LIGHT vapours dance,
LIKE lavender water with OTTO of roses!

Like SNOW in the air,

See the lather so fair, G

That has COVER'D all over our face blear and bare!!!
From grisly pollution our face it-WILL clean,

Our cheeks, necks and upper lips, WHISKERS and chin !,
IV.

Brave Smallpeace! BEHOLD now, my visage how clean!
All white is may face that was BLACK as a raven!
How smooth are my CHEEKS! how smooth is MY chin!
What thy brush had just lather'd thy RAZOR has shaven !/
Mighty Boв, may'st thou reign,!,

Till thy RAZORS, so keen,

Shall frighten the beards FROM THE faces of men.,t~!
You have sworn from pollution our faces TO clean

Our cheeks, NECKS and upper lips, whiskers and chin!

V.

Thy brush, doughty Smallpeace, impends from on high,

With a style and a grace, that BEFORE ne'er was heard on!
Now swift o'er the face does thy SOAP lather fly ;-.!

How joyful to man with a dirty long beard on! SATI.
May HOPKINS* in aid we

Of thine art be array'd,og 71 bula

And SAVIGNY repolish and sharpen thy blade.
Thou hast sworn from pollution OUR faces to clean,
Our cheeks, necks and upper lips, whiskers, and CHIN!

Dear NATAL Columbia! fair, last born of TIME!

-:

May thy phiz now SO gloomy, be smooth as a razor ;+
Thy beard and thy whiskers look black, THO' sublime-
Go to Smallpeace, WHO'LL put thy long face in array SIR!
THEN instantly hie,

Quick as light IN the sky,.

And SOON round thy face shall his lather brush fly-.

He has sworn from pollution our faces he'll clean,

Our CHEEKS, necks and upper lips, whiskers and CHIN!
A soVHIão HIM or

Ah, to BoB let thy GRATITUDE redolent burn-!

First thy WHISKERS to trim, first to match them together!

Hopkins, so generally known for his improvement on the razor strap. + Savigny, the famous surgeon's instrument maker, Pall Mall, London,. who made great improvement on the razor.

Hark! the barber with pride says to each in his turn,
Sir, let me alone, for KEEN edge and hot lather.

To the BEAUX and the BELLES

Pretty stories he tells,

And they in return, say how SWEELTY he smells !~!
He has sworn from pollution our faces to clean,

Our cheeks, necks and upper LIPS, whiskers and CHIN.
VIII.

*

BINOCULAR Bob! with thy barberous brush,

CONQUASSATE thy froth with cosmetical splendour!
To the CHARGE with thy razor redintegrant rush!
Though the dismember'd chin effervesce and regender !—;..
Whilst thunder SHALL roll,

MAY'ST thou lather the whole,

TILL Our beards shall grow OUT to the length of thy pole !

Thou hast SWORN from pollution our faces to clean,

Our cheeks, necks and upper lips, whiskers, and chin.

IX.

Hail spirited BоB!! strap thy razor SO keen!

And lather us all till thy hair shall turn grey, sir!
And when ALL erect in THE act thou art SEEN,—;
Our beards shall RECOIL at the sight of thy razor!
Oh may BARBERS to come,

NEVER destine THY doom!—.—! ;

TILL thy razor TURN bard, and thy brush drink raw RUM. For you've sworn from pollution our faces TO clean,

OUR cheeks, necks AND upper lips, whiskers and chin.

DULLNESS.

The, writer who is able to exceed in stupidity and want of application the following Impromptu, from the Chronicle, well deserves to be commemorated in verse, and a leaden crown awarded to him, to be worn as a trophy

of success.

IMPROMPTU,

On Reading the Inaugural Speech of Mr. MADISON.

IMMORTAL STATESMAN! e'er to Virtue true,

Thy precious maxims will we keep in view :
Thou learn'd proficient, skill'd in Wisdom's lore,
Thy fame shall echo to each distant shore :

Europe shall envy, wonder, and admire,
And laud the wisdom of COLUMBIA'S SIRE;

Thy country bless thee, and thy worth proclaim,

And speak aloud the honours of thy NAME!

* In this verse, the writer became truly affected by the spirit of NewEngland.

The author conceives, that by adopting his new mode of punctuation and by capitalizing and italicizing his words indiscriminately, he shall give to his Ode the greatest possible effect.