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Miss. I have a blister on my tongue, yet I don't remember I told a lie.

Lady Answ. I thought you did just now.
Ld. Sparkish. Pray, madam, what did thought do?

Lady Smart. Well, for my life, I cannot conceive what your lordship means.

Ld. Sparkish. Indeed, madam, I meant no harm.

Lady Smart. No, to be sure, my lord ! you are as innocent as a devil of two years old.

Neverout. Madam, they say ill-doers are ill-deemers; but I don't apply it to your ladyship.

Miss, mending a hole in her lace. Miss. Well, you see I'm mending; I hope I shall be good in time. Look, Lady Answerall, is it not well mended ?

Lady Answ. Ay, this is something like a tansy.

Neverout. Faith, miss, you have mended as a tinker mends a kettle; stop one hole and make two.

Lady Smart. Pray, colonel, are you not very much tann’d?

Col. Yes, madam; but a cup of Christmas ale will soon wash it off.

Ld. Sparkish. Lady Smart, does not your ladyship think Mrs Fade is greatly altered since her marriage ?

Lady Answ. Why, my lord, she was handsome in her time; but she cannot eat her cake and have her cake; I hear she's grown a mere otomy.

Lady Smart. Poor creature ! the black ox has set his foot upon her already.

Miss. Ay; she has quite lost the blue on the plum.

Lady Smart. And yet, they say, her husband is very fond of her still.

Lady Answ. O, madam, if she would eat gold, he would give it her.

Neverout. [To Lady Swart.] *Madam, have you heard that Lady Queasy was lately at the play-house incog. ?

Lady Smart. What! Lady Queasy of all women in the world! do you say it upon rep. ?

Neverout. Poz, I saw her with my own eyes; she sat among the mob in the gallery ; her own ugly phiz: and she saw me look at her.

Col. Her ladyship was plaguily bamb’d; I warrant it put her into the hips.

Neverout. I smoked her huge nose, and, egad, she put me in mind of the woodcock, that strives to hide his long bill, and then thinks nobody sees him.

Col. Tom, I advise you, hold your tongue; for you'll never say so good a thing again.

Lady Smart. Miss, what are you looking for?
Miss. O, madam, I have lost the finest needle-

Lady Answ. Why, seek till you find it, and then you won't lose your labour.

Neverout. The loop of my hat is broke, how shall I mend it? [He fastens it with a pin.] Well, hang him, say I, that has no shift.

Miss. Ay, and hang him that has one too many.Well, but I don't like such jesting. + Neverout. O, miss, I have heard a sad story of

you. Miss. I defy you, Mr Neverout; nobody can say · Miss. I have a blister on my tongue, yet I don't remember I told a lie.

black's my eye.

* Here the author, for variety, runs into some cant words.Orig. Note.

+ From the first edition.

Lady Answ. I thought you did just now.
Ld. Sparkish. Pray, madam, what did thought do?

Lady Smart. Well, for my life, I cannot conceive what your lordship means.

Ld. Sparkish. Indeed, madam, I meant no harm.

Lady Smart. No, to be sure, my lord ! you are as innocent as a devil of two years old.

Neverout. Madam, they say ill-doers are ill-deemers; but I don't apply it to your ladyship.

Miss, mending a hole in her lace. Miss. Well, you see I'm mending; I hope I shall be good in time. Look, Lady Answerall, is it not well mended ?

Lady Answ. Ay, this is something like a tansy.

Neverout. Faith, miss, you have mended as a tinker mends a kettle; stop one hole and make two.

Lady Smart. Pray, colonel, are you not very much tann'd?

Col. Yes, madam; but a cup of Christmas ale will soon wash it off.

Ld. Sparkish. Lady Smart, does not your ladyship think Mrs Fade is greatly altered since her marriage?

Lady Answ. Why, my lord, she was handsome in her time; but she cannot eat her cake and have her cake; I hear she's grown a mere otomy.

Lady Smart. Poor creature ! the black ox has set his foot upon her already.

Miss. Ay; she has quite lost the blue on the plum.

Lady Smart. And yet, they say, her husband is very fond of her still.

Lady Answ. O, madam, if she would eat gold, he would give it her.

Neverout. [To Lady Swart.] *Madam, have you heard that Lady Queasy was lately at the play-house incog. ?

Lady Smart. What! Lady Queasy of all women in the world! do

you say

it

upon rep. ? Neverout. Poz, I saw her with my own eyes; she sat among the mob in the gallery ; her own ugly phiz: and she saw me look at her.

Col. Her ladyship was plaguily bamb’d; I warrant it put her into the hips.

Neverout. I smoked her huge nose, and, egad, she put me in mind of the woodcock, that strives to hide his long bill, and then thinks nobody sees him. Col. Tom, I advise you,

hold

your tongue; for you'll never say so good a thing again.

Lady Smart. Miss, what are you looking for?
Miss. 0, madam, I have lost the finest needle-

Lady Answ. Why, seek till you find it, and then you won't lose

your

labour. Neverout. The loop of my hat is broke, how shall I mend it? [He fastens it with a pin.] Well, hang him, say I, that has no shift.

Miss. Ay, and hang him that has one too many.Well, but I don't like such jesting. +

Neverout. O, miss, I have heard a sad story of you. Miss. I defy you, Mr Neverout; nobody can say Neverout. I believe you wish they could.

black's my eye.

* Here the author, for variety, runs into some cant words.Orig. Note.

+ From the first edition.

Miss. Well, but who was your author ? Come, tell truth and shame the devil.

Neverout. Come then, miss ; guess who it was that told me? come, put on your considering cap.

Miss. Well, who was it?

Neverout. Why, one that lives within a mile of an oak.

Miss. Well, go hang yourself in your own garters, for I'm sure the gallows groans for you.

Neverout. Bite, miss ! * I was but in jest.
Miss. Well, but don't let that stick in your gizzard.
Col. My lord, does your lordship know Mrs Talkall ?

Ld. Sparkish. Only by sight; but I hear she has a great deal of wit ; and, egad, as the saying is, mettle to the back.

Lady Smart. So I hear.

Col. Why, Dick Lubber said to her tother day, Madam, you can't cry bo to a goose : yes, but I can, said she; and, egad, cry'd bo full in his face. We all thought we should break our hearts with laughing.

Ld. Sparkish. That was cutting with a vengeance : And, prithee, how did'the fool look ?

Col. Look! egad, he look'd for all the world like an owl in an ivy-bush.

A Child comes in screaming. Miss. Well, if that child was mine, I'd whip it till the blood came; peace, you little vixen! if I were near you, I would not be far from you.

* A cant phrase of the

Latter editions read, Pretty, miss.

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