for civic honours, the learned ornaments of Bodies Corporate. I would not be understood, Sir, to speak in any way disrespectfully of so ornamental a body of men as the British Merchants; as a body they are much more enlightened, and therefore claim my admiration: I only speak of the narrow-minded vulgar, be they rich or poor. For where I see one, body and soul, all trade, whose head is impenetrably stuffed with cottons and wools, I look upon him but a living mummy preciously wrapped about; or when I see one, whose wits are buried in his hogsheads (though not despising money yet despising the use of it) as far as he is separated from all the sympathies of human nature, I look upon him but as a Cynic in a larger tub. I I am very certain, Mr. Editor, can give offence to none by these remarks; for those, to whom they might be applicable, will never waste their time to read them. But it is the privilege of Idleness to talk to the deaf. It is all very well that there should be men who shut up their frugal souls within the narrow compass of their own affairs; whose vigilance and activity go the daily round of bustle, but never adventure beyond the speculation of gain-who are skilful to heap up riches upon riches. Let them thank God that they so thrive; but let them not in their snug ignorance arrogate to themselves alone, as their peculiar gifts, wisdom and industry; when perhaps, in the estimation of truth, they may be accounted but as fools: let them not view with contempt those more excursive spirits, who looking beyond the plodding cares of their personal fortune, rid themselves as it were of a thousand low and vulgar thoughts, which wind themselves round the affections of thriving men: who purifying their senses from mere earthly dross, partake of superior intelligence, and make to themselves a Paradise, by that very neglect which is vulgarly imputed to folly. But I fear, Sir, I am becoming too active in my speculations, and find myself indignantly upon my legs, and throwing out my arms with the air of a combatant; I have no thoughts of standing up as a reformer of the world, I will therefore relapse into tranquility, and throw myself again into the easy chair of IDLENESS. If I mistake not, I have somewhere met with a very formidable calculation of the number of ways this busy world presents of shewing us out of it. It is a frightful catalogue, the exact detail of which I am happy to say I have forgot; it is enough to terrify one in walking the streets, to consider the number of crimes, our own and others, for which we may be hanged, and the innumerable fatal disorders to which we are liable. What an inducement for us to acquiesce in a state of idle tranquility, that we may have a chance of escaping an haltar, and not wear out the machine of our bodies by over exertion! And how happy would it be for one half of the world, if the other would condescend to be a little more idle; for how much time is there spent, and spent in vain, by the better part, in watching and guarding against the movements and machinations of the designing! If all men were obliged to go to rest at the same time, we might all sleep in our beds in much greater safety; but there is undoubtedly an abominable restless spirit of activity abroad, that will not let us close our eyes in peace; and which it is yet more dangerous to oppose. Are there not, Sir, nightly robbers ever on the alert, who when you are abed and asleep, will strip the lead off your house to make bullets to shoot at you with, as you come out of it in the morning? And yet, Sir, some magistrates, whom I have the honour to be acquainted with, see the full advantage of Idleness, and wisely determine to let the offenders alone, for fear of making bad worse. This restless spirit equally affects all ranks of society, and has even made great progress amongt our country gentlemen, heretofore so very quiet and peaceable. For now, Sir, every Youth considers himself qualified for a Senator; and deems it necessary to make a disturbance at his county town by his vociferous harangues; and every Candidate for a seat in Parliament is obliged to tell his constituents, what he will do, as if our forefathers had done nothing; and when he has obtained the honour of representation, be he ever so great a jackanapes, nothing will content him but he must bring in his Act of Parliament, to the great detriment of real public business, the multiplicity and confusion of the laws, and the fettering the human mind with new obligations of obedience. Indeed, Sir, seeing the increase of Acts of Parliament, look to the time, when to be learned in the law will be an impossibility, unless by a special miracle, at least double the number of years of life be granted to the profession, who, indeed, would then have it all their own way, for no others would have sufficient erudition to contradict them. But leaving alone public matters, which are far above my conception, it is chiefly in private life, I would recommend a little more Idleness. How absurd is the argument in every busy body's mouth, that we must not live for ourselves, but for all mankind; surely every man ought to cater best for his own taste, and if every one pleases himself, will not all mankind be pleased. But this sacrifice of ourselves to all mankind is a piece of barbarism, handed down to us from the philosophy of Plato, who in his Republic recommends it to both sexes; and even to the present day there is a very numerous sect of female philosophers, who disinterestedly devote themselves to his doctrine. What a large class of persons is there in private life, with whom to labour is not only unnecessary, but actually criminal. It is not many years ago, since ladies, who were calculated by elegant idleness to charm and amuse society, thought themselves compelled to turn manufacturers of all sorts of things, considering it the highest accomplishment to become expert milliners and shoemakers; for I have seen them making their own shoes, thereby taking the means of honest living from many a poor female, whose bread dedended on employ. Whenever I see any such who can afford to pay sixpence a day, perhaps the outside value of their earnings, I deem them worthy the notice of the Society for the Sup pression of Vice, who I wish would take this hint upon the subject. It is not sufficiently considered, Sir, how much real improvement is to be obtained from Idleness; the thoughts are then free and need not be called in to muster at a certain moment, but taking an ad libitum movement delight the soul with their harmonious excursions. Dr. Johnson's objection to John Wesley was well founded: he would not fold his legs and talk, but must be off at a certain minute; a shocking practice, that a human being endowed with reason should voluntarily shackle his free thoughts, and render up himself a slave to a thing he carries in his pocket, (all whose movements he may command if he pleases) which the moment it points with its finger must be obeyed! The very reverse this, of the Arabian lamp and ring, which on being touched, brought instantly into the presence of the owner, Genii, their slaves with powers as gigantic as their persons, to be at his command, and furnish him with exquisite delights from inexhanstible stores; which though a fable I take to have a very wise meaning, shewing that innocent Idleness is a talisman to conjure up the giant Genii of Imagination, to administer to us largely, far beyond the powers of bustling Industry; to supply us even with all we wish :-but for a man to chain himself down to an hour-glass as its slave, and not guide himself by his own judgment and discretion, is mere dotage. There is an impertinence in this perpetual business of life, by which we are eternally disturbing ourselves and each other. Even now, Sir, that I am writing this panegyric upon Idleness, there is a set of troublesome fellows committing violent assault upon my ears, and filling with noise a much larger space than they have any right to claim for their share, disquieting every one about them, with their jingle jangle of bells, because some one or other, I do not care one farthing about, is taking a step to disquiet himself for life, which he chooses to announce to the world by a salute of treble bob majors. In short, Sir, I lament to see so many, who confess, they have no time to enjoy as I look upon every day mispent, that does not add something to the stock of human enjoyment; and it is no wonder that those, whose business it is to amuse, should meet with the scorn of those who are determined not to be amused; who, deem the harmless act a crime, who beget children but to figure in Watlingstreet, who would perversely chain down genius to a detested desk in some dark hole requiring candles at mid-day, and tell him to be thankful for the blessing of life. Shakspeare himself, Sir, was as we all know, one of those idle good for nothing fellows, whom his parents would have doomed Dd to soap-boiling or wool-combing; and would have thought themselves fortunate, if Providence, instead of disturbing their family with a genius, had cocked up in his place a prim bustling plodding dealer in small wares. King William in his accurate judgment would have rescued Swift from Idleness, by giving him a troop of horse, when a bullet might have put an end to Gulliver's travels, ere well begun. For my own part, the "fallentis semita vita" has so great a charm for me, that I must follow it, right or wrong; and I hope it will never be remembered as my crime, by the Intelligence above, if when I am enjoying my dream of Idleness, stretched at my length under the canopy of green boughs, in that cavernous glen, amidst antiquated fragments of rock, and fantastic roots twisting around them, and throwing out their branches in a luxuriance that teems with ro mantic and ideal life, as if every moving leaf were the habitation of some fairy sprite; where the chasm of the rent rock seems to be the entrance to the mysterious regions of other beings, where the very air I breathe is of the living fragrance of Fairy land, and the playful sunbeams seem not to be of that luminary which lightens the dull world; I trust it will not he remembered as my crime, if then I do not envy those, who are mooting for lucre, with their minds and faces to the ground, in the dirty alleys of traffic; nor those, whose restless and more aspiring ambition would sweep the very stars into their laps with the besom of astrology. I have, Sir, many more important arguments in favour of Idleness to advance, but as I am just at present, more particularly under its influence, I must indulge, and leave them to the suggestions and conjectures of the reader. A REAL IDLER. A SONNET ON SONNETS. I wonder, who it was, that first invented The art of writing what we call a Sonnet In which our pregnant thoughts must be contented In fourteen lines exactly? Mischief on it! For one attractive beauty to peep out. There may be countless beauties found, if sought; But while thus fetter'd, gazers pass in doubt, If it be really beautiful or not. Thus Sonnets often, though they read amiss, May have some beauties in them-so may this. A SEA-SIDE REVERIE. How light and lovely is that parting hour, When, swath'd in lambent gold, the autumnal sun How deep the joy, at such an hour to shun All that the expanding spirit might controul; To seek, in solitude, the Eternal One, Where the wide waves their glorious vespers roll,— And muse the voiceless thought, and gaze the impassion'd soul! WHIGS AND ANTI-WHIGS, OR, EVH AND GOOD CONTRASTED. OUR Notice was attracted to the following Characters by a perusal of them in a newly established provincial print, published by Mr. Harral, at Bury St. Edmunds. This gentleman informs us that, he has extracted them from a very curious little old volume, which he met with some years since on a bookstall in the Metropolis, entitled " The Character of a Whig under several Denominations; to which is added, The Reverse, or the Character of a True Englishman, in opposition to the former." It is anonymous, and bears on its imprint the date of 1700. 46 We do not find mention of it in the curious and extensive List of Works of the same description enumerated and described at the end of Dr. Bliss's excellent edition of "Bishop Earle's Microcosmography; or a Piece of the World discovered,-in Essays and Characters." This style of satire and holding up to ridicule the vices and peculiarities of the times was much in vogue so early as the Fifteenth Century. Thomas Harman's Caveat for Common Cursitors, vulgarly called Vagabones," is the first work of this kind alluded to by Dr. Bliss; and the curious Bibliographer will not fail to recognize amongst other authors of the same stamp, Sir Thomas Overbury, John Stephens, Nicholas Breton, Bishop Hall, Donald Lupton, and others. Why Dr. Bliss omitted Thomas Decker in his list we cannot imagine. Decker's Gull's Hornbook is replete with a description of the characters and customs of the age in which he lived. Much of the book, from which the following Extracts are made, is couched in phraseology not very well suited to the refined taste of the present age-but excusing the obsolete orthography, and omitting where they occur the grossnesses of the writer, we apprehend, that the characters described, will even at this day excite no small degree of interest. No. I. THE writer commences with The Character of a Sowre, malcontented Whig, &c. him in variety of colours, shapes, and postures :—and, first, as a Busy, impertinent, Intermeddler in Government; or, an empty politician fit for nothing, but to make a Common Councilman at Gotham, to drown the eel, or hedge in the cuckoo: a sucking Coffeehouse statesman, a little great man of no business, that, wanting employment of his own, troubles all the world with his idleness. He is haunted with a spirit of government, and wants nothing but a call into an office, to shew his rare qualifications in turning the world upside downwards. Ingratitude, and dullness, will for ever be his character; which, with a mixture of confidence, sets him up for a patriot, which, in our modern phrase, signifies nothing else but a stickling disgusting fop, that thinks he deserves some good place or other, which Heaven and the King know he is not fit for. He pities the world that has no greater insight into his parts; and, like the Chinese, thinks all the world is blind but himself. He is engaged in a confederacy with hypochondriac clubbers, to admire one another; who think they have as much wit as they "Of all men living," says he, "they are the fittest persons to delineate their own accomplishments; for when, a sour Whig describes a Jesuit, he is drawing his own picture, and they act as uniformly as if the soul of the Ignatian tribe did transmigrate after death, into the bodies of that stickling - party. Contradiction is their original sin, the people's ignorance supports their cunning, interest is the Dagon they both idolize; and give them but power to their wills, they would bridle all mankind, and ride them into sedition here, and to hell hereafter. A sour Whig has more shiftings than a weasel, more doublings than a hare, more shapes than Proteus, changes colour oftner than a camelion, and Mercury may more easily contrive a manteau for the moon, that is always increasing or decreasing, than any pen circumscribe this multifarious animal in a general character; and, therefore, I shall take the machine into pieces, and shew want, and more than e're they will have. He is eternally vain, because he is never thoughtful, and that vanity makes him fancy himself of an unfathomable capacity, as wine makes the beggar think himself a man of quality. He is a lump of combustible ignorance, whom the least spark of news kindles in a blaze of unlikely, and preposterous conjectures; and then the rest of the rooks and daws take wing, and fill the town with incredible fears and invisible dangers. His talk is like Benjamin's mess; five times more than comes to his share. All are fools that are not of his opinion; but he esteems him a man of extraordinary wisdom that applauds his conjectures, and puts him upon laughing at his own shadow for want of a more ridiculous substance. His religion is but the vizor of his policy, and, whatever virtue he has, craft is the keeper of it. All his discourses are obscure and enigmatical, like the devils in the Delphic oracle; you may understand his words, but never reach his meaning. The corruption of reason was the generation of his wits, and the spirit of lying and slandering is the height of his improvement. He is a perfect enemy to monarchy, for want of an office; and hates every courtier, because he is not one of the number. In short, he is a kind of sucking traitor, and the older he grows in his discontents, the more is the government endangered, by his misrepresentations of public actions. He creeps, by degrees, from want of an employment, to advance a lawless liberty; from petitioning, to remonstrating; from questioning the power, wisdom, and capacity of his superiors, to seizing the administration into the hands of the populace. His maxims in government are contradictory to common sense, and ruinous to the monarchy. He asserts, the way to make a king great and glorious, is, to give him no money; that the means to support foreign alliance, is to impoverish the Exchequer, and the best way to keep the government upon the wheels, is to weaken the axle-tree; so that the Whigs and their new associates, the Jacobites, having been long troubled with the spirit of contradiction, the devil of nonsense is got among 'em also. Humour them, and you disappoint 'em. Every new-fangled notion thrusts out a former exception, and give 'em full possesion of what they ask, and they soon grow weary of the toy they whimpered for. They declaim against arbitrary power, and yet usurp it; against the prerogative, and erect an imaginary power above it; against grievances, and yet promote them; against mismanagements, and yet produce no instances of their being. They carry liberty and religion upon the tip of their tongues, but dare swallow neither, for fear they should choke them. They complain against ill ministers, to colour a faction against the state; and to enslave free subjects under the arbitrary imposition of a prevailing party." No. II. Opposed to The Character of a Sowre malcontented Whig, &c. described in No. I. is the following Reverse, or the Character of a True Englishman, in Quality of a Statesman : "As a Statesman, he is well learned and descended, a branch of a reputable and loyal family, and a true patriot of his country. One that loves and serves God for goodness' sake, and honours the King as God's representative on earth; a monarch that governs England uprightly, and prefers the glory of God, and the good of the people, above any accession to his own glory. As a counseller he suggests nothing to the King that may look like oppression, or by favouring any sinister faction, would make his Majetsy appear as the head of a party, rather than the King and father of all his people; who should neither know nor make any distinction of his subjects, but by their virtuous or vicious practices, and encourages or disapproves of them accordingly. He is as tender of the King's prerogative as of his own life, estate, or honour; is no less zealous for the legal liberty and rights of the people, and carries so just and equal a hand, between sovereignty and subjection, as creates a mutual love, and an entire affection, without clashing or encroaching upon the dignity of the monarch, or the birthrights of Englishmen. He studies, for the honour of his country, to make the King great and rich, and his subjects the wealthiest and best-natured people in the world; as the surest defence against foreign and domestic enemies. Our Statesman's religion is |