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But I,-who never knew how to entreat,-
Kath. "Tis passing good; I pr'ythee let me have it.
Kath. I like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me. Gru. I cannot tell; I fear 'tis choleric. What say you to a piece of beef, and mustard? Kath. A dish that I do love to feed upon. Gru. Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little. Kath. Why, then the beef, and let the mustard rest. Gru. Nay, then I will not; you shall have the mustard, Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
Kath. Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt. Gru. Why, then the mustard without the beef. Kath. Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave, [Beats him. That feed'st me with the very name of meat: Sorrow on thee, and all the pack of you,
That triumph thus upon my misery!
Go, get thee gone, I say.
Enter PETRUCHIO, with a Dish of Meat; and HOR
Pet. How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
'Faith, as cold as can be.
Pet. Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me. Here, love; thou see'st how diligent I am,
To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee:
[Sets the Dish on a Table,
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks. What, not a word? Nay, then, thou lov'st it not; And all my pains is sorted to no proof:
Here, take away this dish.
'Pray you, let it stand.
Hor. Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame!
Pet. Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lov'st me.
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings,
Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
Lay forth the gown.-What news with you, sir?
Pet. When you are gentle, you shall have one too, And not till then.
That will not be in haste. [Aside. Kath. Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
I love thee well, in that thou lik'st it not.
Kath. Love me, or love me not, I like the cap.; And it I will have, or I will have none.
Pet. Thy gown? why, ay:-Come tailor, let us see't. O mercy, God! what masking stuff is here? What's this? a sleeve? 'tis like a demi-cannon: What! up and down, carv'd like an apple-tart? Here's snip, and nip, and cut, and slish, and slash, Like to a censer in a barber's shop:
Why, what, o'devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this? Hor. I see, she's like to have neither cap nor gown.
Tai. You bid me make it orderly and well, According to the fashion, and the time.
Pet. Marry, and did; but if you be remembered,
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go, hop me over every kennel home,
Pet. Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee. Tai. She says, your worship means to make a puppet of her.
Pet. O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, Thou thimble,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail,
Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;
Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard,
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv'st!
Tai. Your worship is deceiv'd; the gown is made Just as my master had direction:
Grumio gave order how it should be done.
Tai. I have.
Gru. Face not me: thou hast braved many men; brave not me; I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee,-I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest. Tai. Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify. Pet. Read it.
Gru. The note lies in his throat, if he say I said so. Tai. Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown:
Gru. Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread: I said, a gown.
Tai. With a small compassed cape;
Gru. I confess the cape.
Tai. With a trunk sleeve ;-
Gru. Error i'the bill, sir; error i'the bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sewed up again; and that I'll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.
Tai. This is true, that I say; an I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it.
Gru. I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.
Hor. God-a-mercy, Grumio! then he shall have no odds.
Pet. Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me. Gru. You are i'the right, sir; 'tis for my mistress. Pet. Go, take it up unto thy master's use.
Gru. Villain, not for thy life: Take up my mistress' gown for thy master's use.
Pet. Why, sir, what's your conceit in that?
Gru. O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for: Take up my mistress' gown to his master's use! O, fie, fie, fie!
Pet. Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid:
[Aside. Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more. Hor. Tailor, I'll pay thee for thy gown to-morrow. Take no unkindness of his hasty words:
Away, I say; commend me to thy master.
[Exit Tailor. Pet. Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father's, Even in these honest mean habiliments;
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor:
And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,