the crowd accordingly; but when he came to the sats to which he was invited, the jest was to sit close and expose him, as he stood, out of counte nance, to the whole audience. The frolic went round the Athenian benches. But on those occasions there were also particular places assigned for foreigners. When the good man skulked toward the boxes appointed for the Lacedemonians, that honest people, more virtuous than polite, rose up all to a man, and with the greatest respect received him among them. The Athenians being suddenly touched with a sense of the Spartan virtue and their own degeneracy, gave a thunder of applause; and the old man cried out, 'The Athenians understand what is good, but the Lacedemonians practice it.""-R. While the honest knight was thus bewildering himself in good starts, I looked attentively upon him, which made him, I thought, collect his mind a little. What I aim at," says he, "is to represent, that I am of opinion, to polish our understandings, and neglect our manners, is of all things the most inexcusable. Reason should govern passion, but instead of that, you see, it is often subservient to it; and as unaccountable as one would think it, a wise man is not always a good taan." This degeneracy is not only the guilt of particular persons, but also at some times of a whole people; and perhaps it may appear upon examination, that the most polite ages are the least virtuous. This may be attributed to the folly of admitting wit and learning as merit in themselves, without considering the application of them. By this means it becomes a rule, not so much to regard what we do, as how we do it. No. 7.] THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 1710-11. But this false beauty will not pass upon men of Somnia, terrores magicos, miracula, sagas, honest minds, and true taste. Sir Richard BlackNocturnos lemures, portentaque Thessala rides? more says, with as much good sense as virtue, “It HOR., 2 Ep., ii, 208. is a mighty shame and dishonor to employ excel- Visions and magic spells can you despise, lent faculties and abundance of wit, to humor and And laugh at witches, ghosts, and prodigies? please men in their vices and follies. The great GOING yesterday to dine with an old acquaintenemy of mankind, notwithstanding his wit and ance, I had the misfortune to find his whole famiangelic faculties, is the most odious being in the ly very much dejected. Upon asking him the whole creation." He goes on soon after to say, very occasion of it, he told me that his wife had generously, that he undertook the writing of his dreampt a strange dream the night before, which poem "to rescue the muses out of the hands of ra- they were afraid portended some misfortune to vishers, to restore them to their sweet and chaste themselves or to their children. At her coming mansions, and to engage them in an employment into the room, I observed a settled melancholy in suitable to their dignity." This certainly ought her countenance, which I should have been trouto be the purpose of every man who appears in bled for, had I not heard from whence it propublic, and whoever does not proceed upon that ceeded. We were no sooner sat down, but after foundation, injures his country as far as he suc- having looked upon me a little while, "My dear,” ceeds in his studies. When modesty ceases to be says she, turning to her husband, "you may now the chief ornament of one sex, and integrity of the see the stranger that was in the candle last night." other, society is upon a wrong basis, and we shall Soon after this, as they began to talk of family be ever after without rules to guide our judgment affairs, a little boy at the lower end of the table in what is really becoming and ornamental. Na told her, that he was to go into join-hand on ture and reason direct one thing, passion and Thursday. "Thursday!" says she, "No, child, humor another. To follow the dictates of these if it please God, you shall not begin upon Childertwo latter, is going into a road that is both end-mas-day; tell your writing-master that Friday will less and intricate; when we pursue the other, our passage is delightful, and what we aim at easily attainable. I do not doubt but England is at present as polite a nation as any in the world; but any man who thinks, can easily see, that the affectation of being gay and in fashion, has very near eaten up our good sense, and our religion. Is there any thing so just as that mode and gallantry should be built upon our exerting ourselves in what is proper and agreeable to the institutions of justice and piety among us? And yet is there anything more common, than that we run in perfect contradiction to them? All which is supported by no other pretension, than that it is done with what we call a good grace. Nothing ought to be held laudable or becoming, but what nature itself should prompt us to think so. Respect to all kind of superiors is founded, I think, upon instinct; and yet what is so ridiculous as age? I make this abrupt transition to the mention of this vice more than any other, in order to introduce a little story, which I think a pretty instance, that the most polite age is in danger of being the most vicious. "It happened at Athens, during a public representation of some play exhibited in honor of the commonwealth, that an old gentleman came too late for a place suitable to his age and quality. Many of the young gentlemen, who observed the difficulty and confusion he was in, made signs to him that they would accommodate him if he came where they sat The good man bustled through be soon enough." I was reflecting with myself on the oddness of her fancy, and wondering that anybody would establish it as a rule, to lose a day in every week. In the midst of these my musings, she desired me to reach her a little saft upon the point of my knife, which I did in such a trepidation and hurry of obedience, that I let it drop by the way; at which she immediately startled, and said it fell toward her. Upon this I looked very blank; and observing the concern of the whole table, began to consider myself, with some confusion, as a person that had brought a disaster upon the family. The lady, however, recovering herself after a little space, said to her husband with a sigh, “My dear, misfortunes never come single." My friend, I found, acted but an under part at his table, and being a man of more good-nature than understanding, thinks himself obliged to fall in with all the passions and humors of his yoke-fellow. "Do not you remember, child," says she, "that the pigeon-house fell the very afternoon that our careless wench spilt the salt upon the table?" "Yes," says he, "my dear and the next post brought us an account of the battle of Almanza." The reader may guess at the figure I made, after having done all this mischief I dispatched my dinner as rapidly as I could, with my usual taciturnity; when, to my utter confu sion, the lady seeing me quitting my knife and fork, and laying them across one another on my plate, desired me that I would humor her so far as to take them out of that figure, and place them side by side. What the absurdity was which I had committed I did not know, but I suppose there was some traditionary superstition in it; and therefore, in obedience to the lady of the house, I disposed of my knife and fork in two parallel lines, which is the figure I shall always lay them in for the future, though I do not know any reason for it. It is not difficult for a man to see that a person has conceived an aversion to him. For my own part, I quickly found, by the lady's looks, that she regarded me as a very odd kind of fellow, with an unfortunate aspect. For which reason I took my leave immediately after dinner, and withdrew to my own lodgings. Upon my return home, I fell into a profound contemplation on the evils that attend these superstitious follies of mankind; how they subject us to imaginary afflictions, and additional sorrows, that do not properly come within our lot. As if the natural calamities of life were not sufficient for it, we turn the most indifferent circumstances into misfortunes, and suffer as much from trifling accidents as from real evils. I have known the shooting of a star spoil a night's rest; and have seen a man in love grow pale, and lose his appetite, upon the plucking of a merry-thought. A screech-owl at midnight has alarmed a family more than a band of robbers; nay, the voice of a cricket hath struck more terror than the roaring of a lion. There is nothing so inconsiderable, which may not appear dreadful to an imagination that is filled with omens and prognostics. A rusty nail, or a crooked pin, shoot up into prodigies. I remember I was once in a mixed assembly, that was full of noise and mirth, when on a sudden an old woman unluckily observed, there were thirteen of us in company. This remark struck a panic into several who were present, insomuch that one or two of the ladies were going to leave the room; but a friend of mine taking notice that one of our female companions was big with child, affirmed there were fourteen in the room, and that, instead of portending one of the company should die, it plainly foretold one of them should be born. Had not my friend found this expedient to break the omen, I question not but half the women in the company would have fallen sick that very night. the relish of any happiness, nor feel the weight of any misery, before it actually arrives. I know but one way of fortifying my soul against these gloomy presages and terrors of mind, and that is, by securing to myself the friendship and protection of that Being, who disposes of events, and governs futurity. He sees, at one view, the whole thread of my existence, not only that part of it which I have already passed through, but that which runs forward into all the depths of eternity. When I lay me down to sleep, I recommend myself to his care; when I awake, I give myself up to his direction. Amidst all the evils that threaten me, I will look up to him for help, and question not but he will either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. Though I know neither the time nor the manner of the death I am to die, I am not at all solicitous about it; because I am sure that he knows them both, and that he will not fail to comfort and support me under them. "SIR,-I am one of the directors of the society for the reformation of manners, and therefore think myself a proper person for your correspondence. I have thoroughly examined the present state of religion in Great Britain, and am able to acquaint you with the predominant vice of every markettown in the whole island. I can tell you the progress that virtue has made in all our cities, boroughs, and corporations; and know as well the evil practices that are committed in Berwick or Exeter, as what is done in my own family. In a word, Sir, I have my correspondents in the remotests parts of the nation, who send me up punctual accounts from time to time of all the little irregu larities that fall under their notice in their several districts and divisions. An old maid that is troubled with the vapors produces infinite disturbances of this kind among her friends and neighbors. I know a maiden aunt of a great family, who is one of these antiquated sybils, that forebodes and prophesies from one end "I am no less acquainted with the particular of the year to the other. She is always seeing ap- quarters and regions of this great town, than with paritions, and hearing death-watches; and was the the different parts and distributions of the whole other day almost frightened out of her wits by the nation. I can describe every parish'by its impiegreat house-dog that howled in the stable, at a time ties, and can tell you in which of our streets lewdwhen she lay ill with the tooth-ache. Such an ex-ness prevails; which gaming has taken the possestravagant cast of mind engages multitudes of peo- sion of; and where drunkenness has got the better ple, not only in impertinent terrors, but in su- of them both. When I am disposed to raise a fine pernumerary duties of life; and arises from that for the poor, I know the lanes and alleys that are fear and ignorance which are natural to the soul inhabited by common swearers. When I would of man. The horror with which we entertain the encourage the hospital of Bridewell, and improve thoughts of death (or indeed of any future evil), the hempen manufacture, I am very well acquaintand the uncertainty of its approach, fill a melan-ed with all the haunts and resorts of female nightcholy mind with innumerable apprehensions and suspicions, and consequently dispose it to the observation of such groundless prodigies and predictions. For as it is the chief concern of wise men to retrench the evils of life by the reasonings of philosophy; it is the employment of fools to multiply them by the sentiments of supersti tion. For my own part. I should be very much troubled were I endowed with this divining quality, though it should inform me truly of everything that can befall me. I would not anticipate walkers. "After this short account of myself, I must let you know, that the design of this paper is to give you information of a certain irregular assembly, which I think falls very properly under your observation, especially since the persons it is composed of are criminals too considerable for the animadversious of our society. I mean, Sir, the Midnight Mask, which has of late been frequently held in one of the most conspicuous parts of the town, and which, I hear, will be continued with additions and improvements: as all the persons 66 Thus, Sir, you see how I have mistaken a who compose this lawless assembly are masked, and that I am not the first cully whom she has "If we are rightly informed, the rules that are observed by this new society are wonderfully contrived for the advancement of cuckoldom. The women either come by themselves, or are introduced by friends who are obliged to quit them, upon their first entrance, to the conversation of anybody that addresses himself to them. There are several rooms where the parties may retire, and, if they please, show their faces by consent. Whispers, squeezes, nods, and embraces, are the innocent freedoms of the place. In short, the whole design of this libidinous assembly seems to terminate in assignations and intrigues; and I hope you will take effectual methods, by your public advice and admonitions, to prevent such a promiscuous multitude of both sexes from meeting together in so clandestine a manner. "I am your humble servant, and fellow-laborer, "T. B." Not long after the perusal of this letter, I rereceived another upon the same subject; which, by the date and style of it, I take to be written by some young Templar: "SIR, Middle Temple, 1710-11. "When a man has been guilty of any vice or folly, I think the best atonement he can make for it, is to warn others not to fall into the like. In order to this, I must acquaint you, that some time in February last, I went to the Tuesday's masquerade. Upon my first going in I was attacked by half-a-dozen female Quakers, who seemed willing to adopt me for a brother; but upon a nearer examination I found they were a sisterhood of coquettes, disguised in that precise habit. I was soon after taken out to dance, and, as I fancied, by a woman of the first quality, for she was very tall, and moved gracefully. As soon as the minuet was over, we ogled one another through our masks; and as I am very well read in Waller, I repeated to her the four following verses out of his poem to Vandyke: The heedless lover does not know Whose eyes they are that wound him so; Inquires her name that has his heart. "Your most humble admirer, B. L. I design to visit the next masquerade myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and till then shall suspend my judgment of this midnight entertainment.-C. ** Letters for the Spectator, to be left with Mr. Buckley, at the Dolphin, in Little Britain.-Spect. in folio. No. 9.] SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 1710-11. Tiger with tiger, bear with bear, you'll find In leagues offensive and defensive join'd.-TATE. In opposition to this society, there sprung up I pronounced these words with such a languishing Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy, of the kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all quali ties and professions, provided they agreed in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchica principles. 1 and swear "Before George," is still fresh in every one's memory. There are at present, in several parts of this city, what they call street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Ormond street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon farther discourse with him, that two or three noisy country 'squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of house-rent; aad that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation. The Hum-drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing until midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to-noise. After these two innocent societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the Second; I mean the club of Duelists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The president of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club, consisting only of men of honor, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its institution. Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the fearned and the illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kitcat* itself is said to have taken its original from a mutton-pie. The beef-steak+ and October clubs are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles. When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day by an innocent and cheerrul conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments. I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a *An account of this club, which took its name from Christopher Cat, the maker of their mutton-pies, has been given in the new edition of the Tatler, with notes, in 6 vols. The portraits of its members were drawn by Kneller, who was himself one of their number, and all portraits of the same dimensions and form, are at this time called kit-cat pictures. The original portraits are now the property of William Baker, Esq., to whom they came by inheritance from J. Tonson, who was secretary to the club. It was originally formed in Shire-lane, about the time of the trial of the seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation; but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank for quality, merit, and fortune, firm friends of he Hanoverian succession. +Of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman in it, was president; Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their providore; and as an honorable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold hung round his neck with a green silk ribbon. little alehous How I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enacted by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty pieture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word. Rules to be observed in the Two-penny Club, erected in this place for the preservation of friendship and good neighborhood. 1. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence. 2. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box. 3. If any member absents himself, he shall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in case of sickness or imprisonment. 4. If any member curses or swears, his neighbor may give him a kick upon the shins. 5. If any member tells stories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie a half-penny. 6. If any member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his club for him. 7. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes. 8. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without the door 9. If any member calls another a cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club. 10. None shall be admitted into the club tha is of the same trade with any member of it. 11. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a brother member 12. No non-juror shall be capable of being member. The morality of this little club is guarded by such wholesome laws and penalties, that I ques tion not but my reader will be as well pleased with them as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Jonson, the regulations of an old Roman club cited by Lipsius, or the rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek author. No. 10.] MONDAY, MARCH 12, 1710-11. So the boat's brawny crew the current stem, Ir is with much satisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming seriousness and attention. My publisher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to distinguish themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and inattentive brethren. Since I have raised to myself so great an audience, I shall spare no pains to make their instruction agreeable, and their diversion useful. For which reasons J shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my readers may, if possible, both ways find their account in the speculation of the day. And to the end that their vir tue and discretion may not be short, transient, intermitting starts of thought, I have resolved to refresh their memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that desperate state of vice and folly, into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow for a single day, sprouts up in follies that are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous culture. It was said of Socrates, that he brought Philosophy down from heaven, to inhabit among men and I shall be ambitious to have it said of me, that I have brought Philosophy out of closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables and in coffee-houses. I would therefore in a very particular manner recommend these my speculations to all well regulated families, that set apart an hour every morning for tea and bread and butter; and would earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea-equipage. Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well written book, compared with its rivals and antagonists, is like Moses' serpent, that immediately swallowed up and devoured those of the Egyptians. I shall not be so vain as to think, that where the Spectator appears, the other public priuts will vanish; but shall leave it to my reader's consideration, whether it is not much better to be let into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse ourselves with such writings as tend to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, and prejudice, than such as naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make enmities irreconcilable. In the next place I would recommend this paper to the daily perusal of those gentlemen whom I cannot but consider as my good brothers and allies, I mean the fraternity of Spectators, who live in the world without having anything to do in it; and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laziness of their dispositions, have no other business with the rest of mankind, but to look upon them. Under this class of men are comprehended all contemplative tradesmen, titular physicians, fellows of the royal society, Templars that are not given to be contentious, and statesmen that are out of business; in short, every one that considers the world as a theater, and desires to form a right judgment of those who are the actors on it. There is another set of men that I must likewise lay a claim to, whom I have lately called the blanks of society, as being altogether unfurnished with ideas, till the business and conversation of the day has supplied them. I have often considered these poor souls with an eye of great commiseration, when I have heard them asking the first man they have met with, whether there was any news stirring? and by that means gathering together materials for thinking. These needy persons do not know what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in the morning; for by that time they are pretty good judges of the weather, know which way the wind sets, and whether the Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mercy of the first man they meet, and are grave or impertinent all the day long, according to the notions which they have imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly entreat of them not to stir out of their chambers till they have read this paper, and do promise them that I will daily instill into them such sound and wholesome sentiments, as shall have a good effect on their conversation for the ensuing twelve hours. for the fair ones. Their amusements seem con trived for them, rather as they are women, than as they are reasonable creatures; and are more adapted to the sex than to the species. The toilet is their great scene of business, and the right adjusting of their hair the principal employment of their lives. The sorting of a suit of ribbons is reckoned a very good morning's work; and if they make an excursion to a mercer's or a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them unfit for anything else all the day after. Their more serious occupations are sewing and embroidery, and their greatest drudgery the preparation of jellies and sweetmeats. This, I say, is the state of ordinary women; though I know there are multitudes of those of a more elevated life and conversation, that move in an exalted sphere of knowledge and virtue, that join all the beauties of the mind to the ornaments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe and respect, as well as love, into their male beholders. I hope to increase the number of these by publishing this daily paper, which I shall always endeavor to make an innocent if not an improving entertainment, and by that means, at least, divert the minds of my female readers from greater trifles. At the same time, as I would fain give some finishing touches to those which are already the most beautiful pieces in human nature, I shall endeavor to point out all those imperfections that are the blemishes, as well as those virtues which are the embellishments of the sex. In the meanwhile, I hope these my gentle readers, who have so much time on their hands, will not grudge throwing away a quarter of an hour in a day upon this paper, since they may do it without any hinderance to business." I know several of my friends and well-wishers are in great pain for me, lest I should not be able to keep up the spirit of a paper which I oblige myself to furnish every day; but to make them easy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as soon as I grow dull. This I know will be matter of great raillery to the smal! wits, who will frequently put me in mind of my promise, desire me to keep my word, assure me that it is high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a little smart genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best friends, when they have such a handle given them of being witty. But let them remember, that I do hereby enter my caveat against this piece of raillery.—Č. No. 11.] TUESDAY, MARCH, 13, 1710-11. Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas.—Juv., Sat. ii, 63. The doves are censur'd, while the crows are spar'd. ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, who have any pretense to wit and gallantry. She is in that time of life which is neither affected with the follies of youth, nor infirmities of age; and her conversation is so mixed with gayety and prudence, that she is agreeable both to the old and the young. Her behavior is very frank, without being in the least blamable: and as she is out of the track of any amorous or ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitants entertain her with accounts of themselves very freely, whether they concern their passions or their interests. I made her a visit this afternoon, having been formerly introduced to the honor of her acquaintance by my friend Will Honeycomb, who has prevailed upon her to admit me sometimes into her assembly, as But there are none to whom this paper will be a civil, inoffensive man. I found her accompanied more useful than to the female world. I have often with one person only, a common-asce talker, who, thought there has not been sufficient pains taken upon my entrance, arose, and after a very slight in finding out proper employment and diversions | civility sat down again; then turning to Arietta, |