nieces; where they spoke with so much contempt of an absent gentleman for being slow at a hint, that he had resolved never to be drowsy, unmannerly, or stupid, for the future at a friend's house; and, on a hunting morning, not to pursue the game either with the husband abroad, or with the wife at home. "The next that came was a tradesman, nor less full of the age than the former; for he had the gallantry to tell me, that at a late junket which he was invited to, the motion being made, and the question being put, it was, by maid, wife, and widow, resolved nemine contradicente, that a young sprightly journeyman is absolutely necessary in their way of business: to which they had the assent and concurrence of the husbands present. I dropt him a courtesy, and gave him to understand that was his audience of leave. "I am reckoned pretty, and have had very many advances besides these; but have been very averse to hear any of them, from my observation on those above-mentioned, till I hoped some good from the character of my present admirer, a clergyman. But I find even among them there are indirect practices in relation to love, and our treaty is at present a little in suspense till some circumstances are cleared. There is a charge against him among the women, and the case is this: It is alleged, that a certain endowed female would have appropriated herself to, and consolidated herself with a church which my divine now enjoys, or, which is the same thing, did prostitute herself to her friend's doing this for her: that my ecclesiastic, to obtain the one, did engage himself to take off the other that lay on hand: but that on his success in the spiritual, he again renounced the carnal. "I put this closely to him, and taxed him with disingenuity. He, to clear himself, made the subsequent defence, and that in the most solemn manner possible: that he was applied to, and instigated to accept of a benefice:-that a conditional offer thereof was indeed made him at first, but with disdain by him rejected: that when nothing, as they easily perceived, of this nature, could bring him to their purpose, assurance of his being entirely unengaged before-hand, and safe from all their after-expectations, the only stratagem left to draw him in, was given him: that, pursuant to this, the donation itself was, without delay, before several reputable witnesses, tendered to him gratis, with the open profession of not the least reserve, or most minute condition; but that yet, immediately after induction, his insidious introducer, or her crafty procurer, which you will, industriously spread the report which had reached my ears, not only in the neighbourhood of that said church, but in London, in the university, in mine and his own county, and wherever else it might probably obviate his application to any other woman, and so confine him to this alone: and, in a word, that as he never did make any previous offer of his service, or the least step to her affection; so on his discovery of these designs thus laid to trick him, he could not but afterwards, in justice to himself, vindicate both his innocence and freedom, by keeping his proper distance. "This is his apology, and I think I shall be satisfied with it. But I cannot conclude my tedious epistle, without recommending to you, not only to resume your former chastisement, but to add to your criminals the simoniacal ladies, who seduce the sacred order into the difficulty of either breaking a mercenary troth made to them, whom they ought not to deceive, or, by breaking or keeping it, offending against Him whom they cannot deceive. Your assistance and labours of this sort would be of great benefit, Malo Venusinam, quàm te, Cornelia, mater JUV. SAT. vi. 167 Some country girl, scarce to a courtesy bred, DRYDEN. It is observed, that a man improves more by reading the story of a person eminent for prudence and virtue, than by the finest rules and precepts of morality. In the same manner a representation of those calamities and misfortunes which a weak man suffers from wrong measures, and ill-concerted schemes of life, is apt to make a deeper impression upon our minds, than the wisest maxims and instructions that can be given us, for avoiding the like follies and indiscretions It is for this reason in our own private conduct. that I lay before my reader the following letter, and leave it with him to make his own use of it, without adding any reflections of my own upon the subject matter. "MR. SPECTATOR, "HAVING carefully perused a letter sent you by Josiah Fribble, Esq. with your subsequent discourse upon pin-money, I do presume to trouble you with an account of my own case, which I look upon to be no less deplorable than that of squire Fribble. I am a person of no extraction, having begun the world with a small parcel of rusty iron, and was for some years commonly known by the name of Jack Anvil*. I have naturally a very happy genius for getting money, insomuch that by the age of five and twenty, I had scraped together four thousand two hundred pounds, five shillings, and a few odd pence. I then launched out into considerable business, and became a bold trader both by sea and land, which in a few years raised me a very great fortune. For these my good services I was knighted in the thirty-fifth year of my age, and lived with great dignity among my city neighbours by the name of Sir John Anvil. Being in my temper very ambitious, I was now bent upon making a family, and accordingly resolved that my descendants should * It has been said by some, that the author of this letter alluded here to -Gore, of Tring, and Lady Mary Compton; but others, with more probability, have assured the annotator, that the letter referred to Sir Ambrose Crowley and his lady. See Tat. ed. 1786, cr. 8vo. vol. v. additional notes, p. 405 and 406. N. B. This ironmonger changed his name from Crowley to Crawley, a folly which seems to be ridiculed, here, by the change of Anvil into Envil absurdly made by his lady." In order have a dash of good blood in their veins. to this, I made love to the Lady Mary Oddly, an indigent young woman of quality. To cut short the marriage-treaty, I threw her a carte blanche, as our news-papers call it, desiring her to write upon it her own terms. She was very concise in her demands, insisting only that the disposal of. my fortune, and the regulation of my family, should be entirely in her hands. Her father and brothers appeared exceedingly averse to this match, and would not see me for some time; but at present are so well reconciled, that they dine with me almost every day, and have borrowed considerable sums of me; which my Lady Mary very often twits me with, when she would show me how kind her relations are to me. She had no portion, as I told you before; but what she wanted in fortune she makes up in spirit. She at first changed my name to Sir John Envil, and at present writes herself Mary Enville. I have had some children by her, whom she has christened with the surnames of her family, in order, as she tells me, to wear out the homeliness of their parentage by the father's side. Our eldest son is the honourable Oddly Enville, Esq. and our eldest daughter Harriot Enville. Upon her first coming into my family, she turned off a parcel of very careful servants, who had been long with me, and introduced in their stead a couple of black-a-moors, and three or four very genteel fellows in laced liveries, besides her French woman, who is perpetually making a noise in the house, in a language which nobody understands except my Lady Mary. She next set herself to reform every room of my house, having glazed all my chimney-pieces with looking-glass, and planted every corner with such heaps of china, that I am obliged to move about my own house with the greatest caution and circumspection, for fear of |