three farthings-remuneration.- What's the price of Enter BIRON. Biron. O, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met. Cost. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration? Biron. What is a remuneration? Cost. When would you have it done, sir? Cost. Well, I will do it, sir: Fare you well. Biron. It must be done this afternoon. Hark, The princess comes to hunt here in the park, A very beadle to a humorous sigh; This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy; And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop' With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes; Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, and groan; ACT IV. SCENE I.-Another part of the same. Enter the PRINCESS, ROSALINE, MARIA, KATHARINE, For. Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so. Prin. Fair payment for foul words is more than due. A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.— Prin. Only for praise: and praise we may afford Cost. The thickest, and the tallest! it is so; truth Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest Boyet. We will read it, I swear : Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear. Boyet. [Reads.] By heaven, that thou art fair is most infallible; true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that thou art lovely: More fairer than fair, beautiful than beauteous; truer than truth itself; have commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say, veni, vidí, vici; which to anatomise in the vulgar, (O base and obscure vulgar !) videlicet, he came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw, two; overcame, three. Who came? the king; Why did he come? to see; Why did he see? to overcome: To whom came he? to the beggar; What saw he? the beggar; Who overcame he? the beggar: The conclusion is victory; On whose side? the king's: the captive is enrich'd; On whose side? the beggar's: The catastrophe is a nuptial: On whose side? The king's? -u, on both in one, or one in both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison: thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may: Shall I enforce thy love? I could: Shall I entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes; For tittles, titles; For thyself, me. Thus, expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy picture, and my heart on thy every part. that was a man when king Pepin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it? Boyet. So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when queen Guinever of Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it. Ros. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it, [Singing. An I cannot, another can. [Exeunt Ros. and KATH. Cost. By my troth, most pleasant! how both did fit it! [did hit it. Mar. A mark marvellous well shot: for they both Boyet. A mark! O, mark but that mark; A mark, says my lady! out. Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be. Mar. Wide o' the bow hand! I'faith your hand is [hit the clout. Cost. Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er Boyet. An if my hand be out, then, belike your hand is in. [the pin. Cost. Then will she get the upshot by cleaving Mar. Come, come, you talk greasily, your lips grow foul. [lenge her to bowl. Cost. She's too hard for you at pricks, sir; chalBoyet. I fear too much rubbing; Good night my good owl. [Exeunt BOYET and MARIA. Cost. By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown! Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar Lord, lord! how the ladies and I have put him down! 'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey; O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony vulgar Submissive fall his princely feet before, Thine, in the dearest design of industry, DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO. And he from forage will incline to play: Prin. What plume of feathers is he, that indited Who gave thee this letter? Thou, fellow, a word: I told you; my lord. Finely put off! Why, she that bears the bow. Ros. Well then, I am the shooter. Boyet. But she herself is hit lower: Have I hit Res. Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, wit! And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit! [Shouting within. [Exit COSTARD, running. SCENE II.-The same. Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL. Nath. Very reverent sport, truly; and done in the testimony of a good conscience. Hol. The deer was, as you know, in sanguis,blood; ripe as a pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of calo,-the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like a crab, on the face of terra,-the soil, the land, the earth. Nath. Truly, master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied, like a scholar at the least: But, sir, assure ye, it was a buck of the first head. I Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo. Dull. 'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket. Hol. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of explication; facere, as it were, replication, or, rather, ostentare, to shew, as it were, his inclination,-after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or, ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, -to insert again my haud credo for a deer. Dull. I said, the deer was not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket. Hol. Twice sod simplicity, bis coctus! O thou monster ignorance, how deformed dost thou look! Nath. Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts; And such barren plants are set before us, that we (Which we of taste and feeling are) for those parts What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not Hol. Dictynna, good man Dull; Dictynna, good thee not, loves thee not. - - Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.man Dull. Dull. What is Dictynna? Nath. A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon. was no more; [score; And raught not to five weeks, when he came to fiveThe allusion holds in the exchange. Dull. 'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange. Hol. God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds in the exchange. Dull. And I say the pollusion holds in the exchange; for the moon is never but a month old : and I say beside, that 'twas a pricket that the princess kill'd. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on the death of the deer? and, to humour the ignorant, I have call'd the deer the princess kill'd, a pricket. Nath. Perge, good master Holofernes, perge; so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility. Hol. I will something affect the letter; for it argues facility. The praiseful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty Or pricket, sore, or else sorel; the people fall a hooting. more L. Nath. A rare talent! Dull. If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent. : Hol. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, re. volutions these are begot in the ventricle of memory, nourish'd in the womb of pia mater; and deliver'd upon the mellowing of occasion: But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it. Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or, rather, as Horace says in his--What, my soul, verses? Nath. Ay, sir, and very learned. Hol. Let me hear a staff, a stanza, a verse; Lege, domine. Nath. If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love? Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder, Which, not to anger bent, is music, and sweet fire. Celestial, as thou art, oh pardon, love, this wrong, That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue! Ovi Hol. You find not the apostrophes, and so miss the accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret. dius Naso was the man: and why, indeed, Naso; but for smelling out the odoriferous flowers of fancy, the jerks of invention ? Imitari, is nothing: so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper, the tired horse his rider. But damosella virgin, was this directed to you? Jaq. Ay, sir, from one monsieur Biron, one of the strange queen's lords. Hol. I will overglance the superscript. To the snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline. I will look again on the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party writing to the person written unto : Nath. Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may Your Ladyship's in all desired employment, BIRON. my parishioners; for their sons are well tutor'd by Sir Nathaniel, this Biron is one of the votaries with you, and their daughters profit very greatly under the king; and here he hath framed a letter to a seyou: you are a good member of the commonwealth.quent of the stranger queen's, which, accidentally, Hol. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, they shall want no instruction: if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them: But, vir sapit, qui pauca loquitur: a soul feminine saluteth us. Enter JAQUENEetta and Costard. Jaq. God give you good morrow, master person. Hol. Master person,-quasi pers-on. And if one should be pierced, which is the one? or by the way of progression, hath miscarried.--Trip [Exeunt CoST. and Jaq. Nath. Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, Cost. Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is lik-very religiously; and, as a certain father saith est to a hogshead. Hol. Sir, tell not me of the father, I do fear co lourable colours. But, to return to the verses; Did they please you, sir Nathaniel? Nath. Marvellous well for the pen. Hol. I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil of mine; where if, before repast, it shall please you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned, neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I beseech your society. Nath. And thank you too: for society, (saith the text,) is the happiness of life. Hol. And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it. Sir, [to DULL.] I do invite you too; you shall not say me, nay: pauca verba. Away; the gentles are at their game, and we will to our [Exeunt. recreation. SCENE III.-Another part of the same. Enter BIRON, with a paper. Biron. The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself: they have pitch'd a toil; I am toiling in a pitch; pitch that defiles; defile! a foul word. Well, Set thee down, sorrow! for so they say, the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as Ajax it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep: Well proved again on my side! I will not love: if I do, bang me; i'faith, I will not. O, but her eye, -by this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love and it hath taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme, and bere my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my sonnets already; the clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin if the other three were in: Here comes one with a paper; God give him grace to groan. [Gets up into a tree. Enter the KING, with a paper. King. Ah me! Biron. [Aside.] Shot by heaven! Proceed, Sweet Cupid; thou hast thump'd him with thy birdbolt under the left pap:-I'faith secrets. King. [Reads.] So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not, And they thy glory through my grief will shew: 0 queen of queens, how far dost thou excel! How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper; [Aside. Long. Am I the first that have been perjur'd so? Biron. [Aside.] I could put thee in comfort; not by two, that I know: Thou mak'st the triumviry, the corner cap of society, The shape of Love's Tyburn that hangs up simplicity. [move: Long. I fear, these stubborn lines lack power to O sweet Maria, empress of my love! These numbers will I tear and write in prose. Biron. [Aside.] O, rhymes are guards on wanton Disfigure not his slop. [Cupid's hose: Long. This same shall go. He reads the sonnet. Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye If broken then, it is no fault of mine; Biron. [Aside.] This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity: A green goose, a goddess: pure, pure idolatry. [way. God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the Enter DUMAIN, with a paper. Long. By whom shall I send this?-Company! stay. [Stepping aside. Biron. [Aside.] All hid, all hid, an old infant play: Like a demi-god here sit I in the sky, And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'er-eye. More sacks to the mill! O heavens I have my wish; Dumain transform'd: four wood-cocks in a dish! Dum. O most divine Kate! Biron. O most prophane coxcomb! [Aside. Dum. By heaven, the wonder of a mortal eye! Biron. By earth she is but corporal: there you lie. [Aside. Dum. Her amber hairs for foul have amber coted. Biron. An amber coloured raven was well noted. Would let her out in saucers; Sweet misprision! [Aside. Dum. Once more I'll read the ode that I have writ. Biron. Once more I'll mark how love can vary wit. [Aside. Dum. On a day, (alack the day!) Love, whose month is ever May, Thou for whom even Jove would swear, This will I send; and something else more plain, [charity, Long. Dumain, [advancing.] thy love is far from That in love's grief desir'st society: You may look pale, but I should blush, I know, To be o'erheard, and taken napping so. King. Come, sir, [advancing.] you blush; as his You chide at him, offending twice as much : I would not have him know so much by me. O, what a scene of foolery I have seen, Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow, and of teen! Soft; Whither away so fast? Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTard. Jaq. God bless the king! King. What present hast thou there? Cost. Some certain treason. King. What makes treason here? Cost. Nay, it makes nothing, sir. King. If it mar nothing neither, The treason, and you, go in peace away together. Jaq. I beseech your grace, let this letter be read, Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said. King. Biron, read it over. [Giving him the letter. Where hadst thou it? Jaq. Of Costard. King. Where hadst thou it? Cost. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio. [it? King. How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear Biron. A toy, my liege, a toy; your grace needs not fear it. [let's hear it. Long. It did move him to passion, and therefore Dum. It is Biron's writing, and here is his name. [Picks up the pieces. Biron. Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, [to COSTARD.] you were born to do me shame.Guilty, my lord, guilty; I confess, I confess. King. What? [up the mess; Biron. That you three fools lack'd me fool to make He, he, and you, my liege, and I, Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die. True, true; we are four :Will these turtles be gone? King. stay. Hence, sirs; away. Cost. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors [Exeunt COST. and JAQUENET. Biron. Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O let us embrace! As true we are, as flesh and blood can be: The sea will ebb and flow, heaven shew his face; Young blood will not obey an old decree : We cannot cross the cause why we were born; Therefore, of all hands must we be forsworn. King. What, did these rent lines shew some love of thine? [venly Rosaline, Biron. Did they, quoth you? Who sees the hea |