Bellcor.-Gentlemen, have you done? When you have I shall speak. But pray don't hurry yourselves.

Sparkle.-I beg pardon-I am not quite done. I have just inhaled a pinch of Lundy-foot. Will you have the kindness to wait till I have done sneezing.

Bellcor.-Oh! certainly; and I trust the honorable members will preserve a respectful silence during the performance. Sparkle. Here you are-tcht-tchht-tchhht. Now proceed. Bellcor.-Thanks, noble Sir. Gentlemen, my honorable friend on the left

Sparkle.-The right, you mean.

Bellcor.-who, in addition to his many musical acquirements hath number'd another accomplishment--the science of sneezing harmoniously-hath most unjustifiably and unsoundly impugn'd me for a breach of good manners, if not good feeling, towardsSparkle Against, you mean.

Bellcor.-towards my well-beloved and trusty friend, Bardolph. And if, gentlemen, through inconsiderateness, or any other denomination equally insignificant, I have been induced to overlook the correct-correct

Sparkle.

Correct card o' the Races.' Bellcor.-Correct line of politics-politeness I mean, due from one gentleman to two or three more

Bardolph.-Not at all, my dear fellow-no such thing, I'm

sure.

Bellcor.-it always remains in his power to abbreviate his elocution by shortening his speech, equally as making atonement by proposing a health. Under which circumstances-as a diaculum salvo to our late misunderstanding-I beg to propose the health of his Landlordship Bardolph. [drank.) Omnes.-Bardolph-Bardolph-Bardolph for ever. (Health Bardolph (rising).-Gentlemen! Sparkle.-Hear, hear.

Bardolph.-The honor you have conferr'd on me in drinking health so anonimously, all I have to say is, I have not deserved it ;

my

Sparkle.-Silence!

Bardolph.-and if it was in my power, all I can say is, that I'd do all in my power, if not more, to return inadequate thanks. You are all aware I am no speechifier ;

Bellcor.-Hear!

Bardolph.-and in a-casion like this, words will always come slower and more-more-in short, I hate long-winded modosyllables; so that you musn't, as I may say, respect from my thanks any eloquent-eloquent observations. However, I'm glad to see you all together; and as I may say, it will always make me proud and comfortable to see you all flocking to my—

Sparkle.-Observations!

Bardolph.-standard, as I may say. I hate to be infester'd with a parcel of milk-an'-water individuals-fellows that have neither wit nor fun, nor, as I may say, the real jessamine feelings of gentleman. No, I'm sure we wouldn't put ourselves into composition with such. If we could put ourselves into composition with any parties, 'tis when we have jurediction on our side to allow of the comparement. Gentlemen, I hope you wont take those observations on my part too forward, or as I may say, exclusive. I look upon you all ressembled together as my own paternal children, or as I may say, my bona friday property. Gentlemen, I'm sorry for retaining you so long-I feel grateful, and, as I may say, obliged and happy to you all for adhering to the-a-the-a-observations I have just deluded to, as I may say. I have nothing more to say. I feel thankful for the kind, handsome, and as I may say feeling manner that you have drank my health; and wishing you every thing that's good and convenient-why here's luck. (Drinks and sits down. Three rounds of applause and two of laughing.)

Burnchurch.

Bellcor.

"Si foret in terris, rideret Democritus.-"

"Si foret in terris, rideret Socrates."

Bonitas.-And now let's have the hock.

(Rings. Enter

waiter.) William, bring two bottles of hock and some glasses, and a bottle of soda water.

Waiter. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. (Exit.)

Bonitas.But what's become of Burly. He should be here by this.

Bantam.-I rather opine you'll not see his bluff highness tonight. I suspect at this moment he's fast lock'd in the arms of Morpheus.

Bellcor.-Orpheus, more likely; he snores so loud.

Bonitas.-Why so, my Bantam. (Enter waiter-places bottles, &c. &c. Exit.)

Bantam.-Oh! Bonitas, had you seen him last night, it would certainly have cost you a rib or two from excessive laughter.

Bonitas.-Well, my Bantam, as I could not afford to part with a spare bone, I am not sorry I was deprived of the pleasure. But to thy tale-first help yourselves all round.

Bantam.-You shall hear. Burly and I supp'd last night with a friend in the purlieus of the city.

Bellcor.-Purlieus! it must have been near a gin-shop then.

Go on.

Bantam.-We didn't leave till near four o'clock this morning, and as usual, of course, he was as drunk as a whipping-top. When we got into the air he began to stagger, so I offer'd him my arm, but he swore I wanted to insult him, and challenged me

to walk straight between two lamp posts. I didn't pay any attention to this-but he would be satisfied, and kept walking backwards and forwards for half an hour, insisting that 'twas 'all right.' I saw the only way to manage him was by humouring him, so I praised his prowess, and haul'd him along in good spirits. Oh! you should have seen him strutting up Holborn as day just began to break, and, disdaining my support, he clatter'd along, his iron heels making the very streets echo. You might have heard the clang in Fitzroy Square at least.

Bellcor. Certainly! I'm quite sure 'twas that noise that awoke me this morning in Portland-street.

The

Bantam.-If that's the case I'll take another glass of wine. Well, we got on very well till we came nearly opposite to Drurylane. A baker had just open'd house, and was conveying loaves from the cellar to the shop above. He was entering when Burly followed him and told him, without further preface, "he was sorry to see him make such a 'mess' of all his concerns!" man stared, but didn't speak. Burly, without more ado, set to changing the loaves on the shelves. The baker endeavoured to seize the loaves from his hands, but Burly with a push of his arm sent him spinning into a corner, and then very coolly walking behind the counter, planted himself before the desk. "In the name of God," said the baker rising, "who are you, and what do you want?" My good friend," said Burly, looking round the shop, "I'm very sorry to see your affairs under such dire mismanagement. Reform-reform. Go thy ways and leave all thy concerns to me. I'll manage them for thee." "Come out of that," said the baker, "or I'll make you." "Friend," said Burly, "I insist upon taking all your affairs under my own management. Let me see all your account books. At a word, let me see them." The baker was growing frantic. I endeavoured to pacify_him, and told him I should get Burly away directly. But Burly wouldn't stir. "Look ye," said he impatiently, addressing the baker, "thou vile Cataian! thou art one of those that will not serve God if the devil bid you. Give me to see thy books, or by king Cerberus I'll make thee eat a score of thy own unsanctified hot loaves without one drop of allaying Tiber. I tell thee, and I tell thee again, I have the welfare of all thy family at heart." "But I have no family," said the baker. "It's all one," said Burly, "let that pass." The baker ran out of the shop, and between pressing and entreating I got Burly to relinquish his new situation and come along with me. We had just reached the door when, as I expected, the baker return'd with a policeman. Instantly Burly flew into a rage, and all his fury fell on the poor policeman. Thou rascal beadle!" said he, " thou vile dog in office! keep off! or I'll annihilate you! Look here," he roar'd, presenting his little finger, "with this small member I can macadamize eighteen thousand such as you, thou minion of the

gas lamps! so keep off-keep off-keep off." Luckily the policeman was an Irishman, and instead of swearing at him and collaring him for disturbing the snorting citizens,' he very adroitly turn'd from the subject, and asked Burly to give him a glass of gin, hinting that the morning was very chilly. The policeman was a metaphysician. Directly Burly heard the request, he put his hands into his pockets, pulled out all his money, and swore the policeman should have every shilling of it. The policeman took it and handed it slily to me, and off we all went, baker and all, to a gin-shop just opened, and after refreshing ourselves with some cordials, I at last got Burly into a cab and drove him home.

Bellcor.-I wish he was here now: we'd get him to sing the 'Old Oak!'

Bonitas.-Twouldn't be worth hearing unless he was half drunk; for he might remember the words, and the 'tol-der-rolder-rol' would then be lost.

Sparkle. He begins with such confidence, yet never can get beyond the third line. And the best of it is, instead of stopping when at fault, he continues the whole verse with tol-der-rol-derrol: and then he looks so serious.

Bellcor. And the manner in which he puts out his right hand is perfectly delicious-waving it-Oh! here he comes. Hurrah! for every thing, as the Irishman said when he couldn't see the

race.

(Burly enters.)

Sparkle." Hail! noble Marcius!"
Bellcor.-Hail! hail! all hail!

Burly

"It gives me wonder great as my content To see you all before me."

"How fares the honest partner of my soul "-my Bonitas! Bonitas.-Excellent well, my Burly. We've been just discussing thy last night's adventures. Bantam hath peach'd. Burly-Tis strange-I can recollect nothing of what occurr'd. Bantam.-What! not the baker's shop and the policeman? Burly." I remember a mass of things, but nothing distinctly." "But no more of that Hal, an you love me." "Well I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking," "I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, and those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves."

Bonitas.-Wont you have some hock? my Burly.

Burly.-No, my Bonitas-I must have some brandy and sodawater; merely to keep down the fumes of last night—nothing more. (Rings.) But I'll take a cigar from you, Bonitas.

(Waiter enters.)

Burly.-Francis-a glass of brandy and soda-water-strong.

Waiter.-My name is William, Sir. Yes, Sir. (Exit.) Burly.-Hear you this hired pint-pot. "We must speak by the card, or equivocation will undo us." Well, Bonitas, I will take a glass of hock before the brandy, merely as a preparative. Dumby.-Merely! (Waiter enters with brandy, &c. &c. Exit.) Burly.-Hath Master Silence spoken? then doomsday's near. (Aside to Bonitas.) "That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a parrot, and yet be born of a woman."

Sparkle.-Bantam has been telling us you were so drunk last night, that you were smoking your middle finger for half-an-hour in place of a cigar.

Bantam.-Yes! and when you ask'd the cabman who drove us home for change, you gave him a tooth-pick instead of half-a

crown.

Burly.

"Can such things be,

And overcome us like a summer cloud

Without our special wonder."

In short, I know I have made a beast of myself. But "I'll purge and leave sack"-"an I do not-spit in my face and call me, horse." (Drinks.)

Sparkle.-Nay, Burly, be not so downcast:-wine is a good servant if rightly master'd, and a kind one if gently used.

Burly.-Well, all's one for that. I am fix'd-determin'd. (Drinks.) No more possets or potations for me. (Drinks.) That it should come to this!-a beast-and in the streets toofie on't-fie on't! (Drinks.)

Sparkle.-Nay! never take it so to heart, man.

ber what Horace says?

You remem

Burly.-No-but Horace was a good drinker-so here's his health. (Drinks.)

Sparkle.-He says—

"Semel insanivimus omnes,"

meaning, we are all beasts at one time or other of our lives. Burly. And very truly too. Horace says very truly-so here's his health. (Drinks.)

Burnchurch.-Begging my friend Sparkle's pardon-Horace says no such thing.

Burly. Well he ought-he ought-so here's his health again. (Drinks.)

Sparkle.-Not Horace say, "Semel insanivimus omnes, "well you may know better, but I really think he does: and what's ore, I'll bet you a bottle of claret the line is in Horace.

Burly. So shall I. I know nothing about it, but I'll back Sparkle. Sparkle, here's your health. (Drinks.)

Burnchurch.-I'll bet you, and more than that:-that nobody in the room can tell whence the line is taken.