Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st

not?

Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!

Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am not I? Ant. S. I think thou art, in mind, and so am I. Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my shape.

Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.

Dro. S.
No, I am an ape.
Luc. If thou art changed to aught, 'tis to an ass.
Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long
for grass.

'Tis So, I am an ass; else it could never be,
But I should know her as well as she knows me
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate :-
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks :
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.
Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping, or waking? mad, or well advised?
Known unto these, and to myself disguised!
I'll say as they say, and perséver so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break

your pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too

late.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I.-The same.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.

Antipholus of Ephesus.

JOOD signior Angelo, you must excuse us all.

My wife is shrewish, when I keep not
hours:

Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carcanet,

And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charged him with a thousand marks in
gold;

And that I did deny my wife and house:

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know:

That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show:

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,

Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

Ant. E. I think thou art an ass.

Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear

By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that

pass,

You would keep from my heels, and beware of

an ass.

Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'pray
God, our cheer

May answer my good will, and your good welcome here.

Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,

A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty

dish.

Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.

Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest:

But though my cates be mean, take them in good

part;

Better cheer may you have, but not with better

heart.

But, soft; my door is lock'd. Go bid them let us in.

Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'!

Dro. S. [within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch:

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dro. S. [within.] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho! open the door.

Dro. S. [within.] Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not dined to-day.

Dro. S. [within.] Nor to-day here you must not; come again when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe?

Dro. S. [within.] The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle

blame.

If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.

Luce. [within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.

Luce. [within.]

too late ;

Faith, no; he comes

O Lord, I must laugh ;

And so tell your master.

Dro. E.

Have at you with a proverb :-Shall I set in my staff?

Luce. [within.] Have at you with another: that's,-When? can you tell?

Dro. S. [within.] If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion! you'll let
us in, I hope?

Luce. [within.] I thought to have ask'd you.
Dro. S. [within.]

And you said, no.

Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Luce. [within.] Can you tell for whose sake? Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.

Luce. [within.]

Let him knock till it ache. Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.

Luce. [within.] What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?

Adr. [within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise?

Dro. S. [within.] By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.

Adr. [within.] Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door.

Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.

Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either.

Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.

Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither.

Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.

Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.

Your cake is warm within; you stand here in the cold: