cause abandoned by a queen, (who has sacrificed for the sake of it what was perhaps dearer than her life,) by the nobility, clergy, and gentry of the nation; and the sole defence of it left to Redpath, Dick Steel, and their associates, with the apostles of Young Man's coffeehouse! Before I leave this head, I would desire these gentlemen, who are constantly making such malicious insinuations against men of honour and probity, to remember, the oath of abjuration (what they so often quote, and what every honest man will keep) contains faith and true allegiance to their present sovereign, in as strong terms as the renunciation of the pretender; and that he, who violates the first part of the oath, gives but a small security for his observation of the latter, unless they think that which was last swallowed must be always uppermost.

Another cause of their joy upon the spreading of this false news is, their discontent at the peace. And in this indeed the queen has reason to rejoice, that has no enemies but such as are enemies to peace. But is not the hopes of a new war an admirable subject for joy, a most endearing token of their love to the successor, and one of their new methods of keeping up his interest, to represent him to the people as bringing over war in his train! It is foreign to my present purpose to enter into a full discussion of this subject; but the quarrelling with the peace, because it is not exactly to our mind, seems as if one that had put out a great fire, should be sued by the neighbourhood for some lost goods, or damaged houses; which happened, say they, by his making too much haste. Let me advise them in general, not to disrelish blessings because they may want some ingredients which their extravagant and sickly appetites seem to demand; to leave some part of the government of the world to its Maker, and not to believe that he is confined to the narrow maxims of every whimsical politician; not to think it impossible that the same powers that have restored the balance of Europe, in opposition to so great a force, are able to preserve it; and that we have no reason to be in such mighty dread of a nation now impoverished and dispirited, (and probably on the eve of a long minority, with all the confusion that attends it,) whom we have humbled in all its pomp and glory.

May I presume to descend from those high topics, and to suppose that the sublime and public spirit of these patriots may have a little alloy of a baser passion; and that self-interest had some share in this extraordinary festival? Far be it from me to deny them the due use of so humane a passion! Let the hopes of seeing better days produce a secret satisfaction; but may they not be so affected, without being brutal and barbarous? They might have enjoyed the pleasant prospect of the approaching favours of the new monarch without insulting the ashes of the dead. May that reign be glorious and happy! But I shall always believe, that insulting the memory of her present majesty will be understood as an ill compliment to her successor. The fatal event of her death, it is true, put an end to their allegiance; but not to the obligations to decency and gratitude. I have heard that allegiance and protection are reciprocal; but never that allegiance and preferment were so. If this principle be admitted, we need go no further for the list of her majesty's good subjects, than Chamberlayne's "Present State of Britain." But even in this particular the rejoicing party have, of all mankind, the least reason to complain, whose present insolence and pride are the creatures of her majesty's bounty and indulgence; who have no other grievance, that I know of, than, when they have taken our cloak, that we will not give them our coat also." And even under this ministry, the opposite party, who are loud in their complaints and reviling against it, may appear, upon a right computation, to have their quota of all the offices of the

kingdom. Let them for once show their modesty and not grudge the nation the little that is left; and since they have so great a share in possession, and think themselves sure of all in reversion, suffer the poor Tories to hold their part during the period of the queen's life.

There remains still another cause, which I am afraid operates as strongly as any of those already mentioned: it is a common observation, that the offended party often forgives; but the offending party seldom. It is one of the corrupt sentiments of the heart of man, to hate one the more for having used them ill; and to wish those out of the way, who, we believe, ought in justice to revenge the injuries we have done them. I leave the application to themselves.

Thus, I think, I have briefly enumerated the causes of their joy; viz.—

A prospect of a new foreign war;
A fair chance for a civil war;

The expectation of the monopoly of the government; The hopes of having the Tories all hanged; and, Their consciousness that they ought to be so themselves.

At the same time, far be it from me to charge all who are called by the name of Whigs with such villainous inclinations and designs; among whom, I know, there are many worthy and excellent persons. I would not willingly be guilty of a breach of charity, which I could wish all parties were possessed of in a greater measure. I would have everybody, who is conscious of his guilt in any of the forementioned particulars, to reflect seriously upon what I have hinted at; both those who "cursed the queen in their heart," and those who "cursed her" in the open streets; but, of all others, their guilt is of the deepest dye, who have personal obligations to her majesty. For my part, it was with the utmost detestation that I observed some, who owed much to his late majesty king William, treat his memory with scorn and indifference. Gratitude, as much despised and disused as it is, will ever continue to be a reputable virtue, as long as mankind live in society; nay, even if they should return to the woods.

The melancholy occasion of her majesty's sickness had this in common with all other accidents; that some advantage could be made of it, in discovering the impotent malice and factious purposes of some, who would otherwise have been more cautious in disguising their inclinations, till they believed they might discover them with safety, and thereby make a merit with the more abandoned part of the faction. God be thanked her majesty wants not those faithful subjects who will, defend both her person and reputation against the felonious attempts of such impious wretches, and who would serve her in the last moments of her life with as much fidelity and zeal as if she had twenty sons and daughters to inherit after her. Her times are in the hands of that Almighty Being whose minister she is, and in whom she comfortably puts her trust; who will not shorten the period of her life one moment for all the impatient curiosity of those people who are daily inquiring," When will she die?” So long as they keep off their hands, let them wish as much as they think fit; and, when it shall please God to give her the happy change of an earthly for a heavenly crown, let this be written upon her tomb: "That, in compassion to the miseries of Europe, and the sufferings of her own subjects, after a bloody and expensive war, which had lasted twenty years, she concluded a peace; and that she might transmit the liberties of her people safe to posterity, she disbanded her army, by which glorious achievement she acquired the hatred of a faction, who were fond of war, that they might plunder their fellow-subjects at pleasure; and of an army, that they might do this with impunity."

ARS PUN-ICA, SIVE FLOS LINGUARUM. THE ART OF PUNNING; OR

THE FLOWER OF LANGUAGES:

IN SEVENTY-NINE RULES;

FOR THE FURTHER IMPROVEMENT OF CONVERSATION, AND HELP OF MEMORY. BY THE LABOUR AND INDUSTRY OF TOM PUN-SIBI.

"Ex ambiguâ dicta vel argutissima putantur; sed non semper in joco, sæpe etiam in gravitate versantur.-Ingeniosi enim videtur, vim verbi in aliud atque cæteri accipiant, posse ducere." Cicero, de Oratore, Lib. ii. § 61, 2. "The seeds of punning are in the minds of all men." Addison, Spect. No. 61.

TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE SIR JOHN SCRUB, BT.,

AND MERCHANT, THIS DEDICATION IS HUMBLY PRESENTED BY THE AUTHOR.

YOUR honour's character is too well known in the world to stand in need of a dedication; but I can tell you that my fortune is not so well settled but I stand in need of a patron. And therefore, since I ain to write a dedication, I must for decency proceed in the usual method.

First, I then proclaim to the world your high and illustrious birth: that you are, by the father's side, descended from the most ancient and celebrated family of Rome, the Cascas; by the mother's from earl Percy. Some indeed have been so malicious as to say, your grandmother kill'd-her-kin: but, I think, if the authors of the report were found out, they ought to be hampered. I will allow that the world exclaims deservedly against your mother, because she is no friend to the bottle; otherwise they would deserve a firkin, as having no grounds for what they say. However, I do not think it can sully your fine and bright reputation; for the credit you gained at the battle of Hogshed against the duke of Burgundy, who felt no sham-pain when you forced him to sink beneath your power, and gave his whole army a brush, may in time turn to your account; for, to my knowledge, it put his highness much upon the fret. This, indeed, was no less racking to the king his master, who found himself gross-lee mistaken, in catching a tartar. For the whole world allowed that you brought him a peg lower, by giving him the parting-blow, and making all his rogues in buckram to run. Not to mention your great a-gillity, though you are past your prim-age; and may you never lack-age, with a sparkling wit, and brisk imagination! May your honour also wear long, beyond the common scant-ling of human life, and constantly proceed in your musical diversions of pipe and sack-but, hunting with tarriers, &c., and may your good humour in saying, "I am-phor-a-bottle," never be lost, to the joy of all them that drink your wine for nothing, and especially of your humble servant,

This I

the lustre it gives to conversation, are commonly so little known in the world, that scarce one man of learning in fifty, to their shame be it spoken, appears to have the least tincture of it in his discourse. can impute to nothing, but that it has not been reduced to a science; and indeed Cicero seemed long ago to wish for it, as we may gather from his second book De Oratore, [Lib. ii. § 54.] where he has this remarkable passage:"Suavis autem est et vehementer sæpe ntilis jocus et facetiæ cum ambiguitate-in quibus to longè aliis, meâ sententiâ, Cæsar, excellis: quo magis mihi etiam testis esse potes, aut nullam esse artem salis, aut, si qua est, eam nos tu potissimum docebis." "Punning is extremely delightful, and oftentimes very profitable; in which, as far as I can judge, Cæsar, you excel all mankind; for which reason you may inform me whether there be any art of punning; or, if there it." So much was this great man affected with the be, I beseech you above all things, to instruct me in

art, and such a noble idea did he conceive of it, that he gave Cæsar the preference to all mankind, only on account of that accomplishment.

Let critics say what they will, I will venture to affirm that punning, of all arts and sciences, is the most extraordinary: for all others are circumscribed by certain bounds; but this alone is found to have no limits, because, to excel therein requires a more extensive knowledge of all things. A punner must be a man of the greatest natural abilities and of the best

accomplishments: his wit must be poignant and fruitful, his understanding clear and distinct, his imagination delicate and cheerful; he must have an extra

ordinary elevation of soul, far above all mean and low conceptions: and these must be sustained with a beauty, that strength and sweetness, which become vivacity fit to express his ideas, with that grace and sentiments so truly noble and sublime.

And now, lest I should be suspected of imposing upon my reader, I must entreat him to consider how high Plato has carried his sentiments of this art (and Plato is allowed by all men to have seen further into heaven than any heathen either before or since). Does he not say positively, in his " Cratylus," "Jocos et dii amant"? the gods themselves love punning. Which I am apt to believe, from Homer's cseres glass, unextinguished laughter; because there is no other motive could cause such continued merriment among the gods.

As to the antiquity of this art, Buxtorf proves it to be very early among the Chaldeans; which any one may see at large, who will read what he says upou the word Y pun, Vocula est Chaldæis familiarissima," &c. It is a word that is most frequently in use among the Chaldeans; who were first instructed in the methods of punning by their magi, and gained such reputation that Ptolemæus Philopunnæus sent for six of those learned priests to propagate their doctrine of puns in six of his principal cities; which they did with such success, that his majesty ordered, by public edict, to have a full collection of all the puns made within his dominions for three years past; and this collection filled one large apartment of his

diately reprinted in London, where it went through five editions. It appears that in this work the dean was only an assistant, the author was Dr. Sheridan, with the coadjutorship of Dr. Delany and Mr. Rochfort. See the second preface to this tract.

Some authors, but upon what grounds is uncertain, will have Pan, who in the Eolic dialect is called Pun, to be the author of puns; because, they say, Pan being the god of universal nature, and punning free of all languages, it is highly probable that it owes its first origin, as well as name, to this god: others again attribute it to Janus, and for this reason Janus had two faces; and of consequence they conjectured every word he spoke had a double meaning. But, however, I give little credit to these opinions, which I am apt to believe were broached in the dark and fabulous ages of the world; for I doubt before the first Olympiad there can be no great dependence upon profane history.

I am much more inclined to give credit to Buxtorf; nor is it improbable that Pythagoras, who spent twenty-eight years at Egypt in his studies, brought this art, together with some arcana of philosophy, into Greece; the reason for which might be, that philosophy and punning were a mutual assistance to each other: "for," says he, "puns are like so many torchlights in the head, that give the soul a very distinct view of those images, which she before seemed to grope after as if she had been imprisoned in a dungeon." From whence he looked upon puns to be so sacred, and had such a regard to them, that he left a precept to his disciples forbidding them to eat beans because they were called in Greek úvo "Let not,"

says he, "one grain of the seeds be lost; but preserve and scatter them over all Greece, that both our gardens and our fields may flourish with a vegetable, which, on account of its name, not only brings an honour to our country, but, as it disperses its effluvia in the air, may also, by a secret impulse, prepare the soul for punning, which I esteem the first and great felicity of life."

This art being so very well recommended by so great a man, it was not long before it spread through all Greece, and at last was looked upon to be such a necessary accomplishment, that no person was adImitted to a feast who was not first examined, and if he were found ignorant of punning, he was dismissed with 'Exas sort, Bienλ01, "Hence, ye profane."

If any one doubts the truth of what I say, let him consult the apophthegms of Plutarch, who, after he had passed several encomiums upon this art, gives some account of persons eminent in it; among which (to shorten my preface) I choose one of the most illustrious examples, and will entertain the courteous reader with the following story:-"King Philip had his collarbone broken in a battle; and his physician expecting money of him every visit, the king reproved him with a pun, saying, he had the key in his own hands." For the word ass, in the original, signifies both a key and collar-bone. [Vide Plut. Apoph. p. 177.]

We have also several puns recorded in Diogenes Laërtius's "Lives of the Philosophers," and those made by the wisest and gravest men among them, even by Diogenes the cynic, who, although pretending to withstand the irresistible charms of punning, was cursed with the name of an Abhorrer, yet, in spite of all his ill-nature and affectation, (for he was a tub preacher,) he made so excellent a pun, that Scaliger said, "he would rather have been author of it than king of Navarre." The story is as follows:-Didymus (not Didymus the commentator upon Homer, but a famous rake among the ladies at Athens) having taken in hand to cure a virgin's eye that was sore, had

a Vide Joseph. Bengor. Chronic. in Edit. Georg. Homedida. Seriem Godolie Tradit. Hebraic. Corpus Paradoseon Titulo Megill. c. i. § 8. Chronic. Samarit. Abulphectahi. Megillat. Taanit.

It would be endless to produce all the authorities that might be gathered from Diodorus Siculus, Herodotus, Proconosius, Bergæus, Dionysius Halicarnassensis, Lycophron, Pindar, Apollonius, Menander, Aristophanes, Corinthus Cous, Nonnus, Demosthenes, Euripides, Thucydides, Plato, Aristotle, &c.; from every one of which I should have produced some quotations, were it not that we are so unfortunate in this kingdom not to have Greek types sufficient for such an undertaking; for want of which I have been put to the necessity, in the word xoga, of writing an alpha for

an eta.

However, I believe it will not be amiss to bring some few testimonies, to show in what great esteem the art of punning was among the most refined wits at Rome, and that in the most polite ages, as will appear from the following quotations :—

Quinctilian says, [Institut. Orator. lib. vi. p. 265] "Urbanitas est virtus quædam, in breve dictum, verum sensu duplici, coacta, et apta ad delectandos homines," &c. Thus translated, "Punning is a virtue, comprised in a short expression, with a double meaning, and fitted to delight the ladies." Lucretius also,

Quo magis æternum da dictis, Diva, leporem.
Goddess, eternal puns on me bestow.

And elsewhere,

Omnia enim lepidi magis admirantur, amantque,
Germanis quæ sub verbis latitantia cernunt:
Verbaque constituunt simili fucata sonore,
Nec simili sensu, sed quæ mentita placerent.

All men of mirth and sense admire and love
Those words which like twin-brothers doubtful prove;
When the same sounds a different sense disguise,
In being deceived the greatest pleasure lies.

Thus Claudian,

Vocibus alternant sensus, fraudisque jocosa,
Vim duplicem rident, lacrymosaque gaudia miscent.
From word to word th' ambiguous sense is play'd;
Laughing succeeds, and joyful tears are shed.

And Martial,

Sit mihi, Cinna, comes, salibus dictisque facetus,
Qui sapit ambiguos fundere ab ore sonos.
Cinna, give me the man, when all is done,
That wisely knows to crack a jest and pun.
Petronius likewise will tell you,

Dicta, sales, risus, urbana crepundia vocum,
Ingenii facilis quæ documenta dabunt.
Jokes, repartees, and laugh, and pun polite,
Are the true test to prove a man is right.
And Lucan,

Ille est imperium risus, qui fraude leporis
Ambigua fallens, humeros quatit usque solutis
Nexibus, ac tremuli trepidant curvamina dorsi,
Et jecur, et cordis fibras, et pandit anhelas
Pulmonis latebras-

He's king of mirth, that slily cheats our sense
With pun ambiguous, pleasing in suspense;
The shoulders lax become, the bending back
Upheaved with laughter, makes our ribs to crack;
Ev'n to the liver he can joys impart,

And play upon the fibres of the heart;
Open the chambers of the longues," and there
Give longer life in laughing, and in air.

But to come nearer home and our own times; we know that France, in the late reign, was the seat of learning and policy; and what made it so, but the great encouragement the king gave punners above any

a Potiùs lungs, as a Dutch commentator would observe.Original Note.

Having now, from the best authorities, plainly proved the antiquity and excellence of the art of punning, nothing remains but to give some general directions as to the manner how this science is to be taught.

1. Let the husband teach his wife to read it. 2. Let her be appointed to teach her children. 3. Let the head servant of the family instruct all the rest, and that every morning before the master and mistress are up.

4. The masters and misses are to repeat a rule every day, with the examples; and every visiting-day be brought up to show the company what fine memories they have.

5. They must go ten times through the book before they be allowed to aim at a pun.

6. They must, every day of their lives, repeat six synonymous words, or words alike in sound, before they be allowed to sit down to dinner. Such as,

A PARAGRAPH OF THE FIRST PREFACE THAT WAS OMITTED;

WHICH THE READER (ACCORDING TO HIS JUDGMENT OR DISCRETION) MAY INSERT WHERE HE PLEASES. THERE is a remarkable passage in Petronius Arbiter, which plainly proves, by a royal example, that punning was a necessary ingredient to make an entertainment agreeable. The words are these: "Ingerebat nihilominus Trimalchio lentissima voce, Carpe. Ego, suspicatus ad aliquam urbanitatem toties iteratam vocem pertinere, non erubui eum qui supra me accumbebat hoc ipsum interrogare. At ille qui sæpius ejusmodi ludos spectaverat, Vides, inquit, illum qui obsonium carpit, Carpus vocatur. Itaque quotiescunque dicit Carpe, eodem verbo et vocat et imperat.' And it is further remarkable, that every day of his life he made the same pun at dinner and supper.

A SECOND PREFACE.

LEST my modesty should be called in question for venturing to appear in print, in an age so famous for politeness and ingenuity, I think I am bound to say this in my own defence, that these few sheets were not designed to be made public, as being written for my own private use; but what will not the impor

tunity of friends conquer? They were no sooner discovered in my study, but my merry friend George Rochfort, my learned acquaintance Patrick Delany, and my much-honoured patron Jonathan Swift, all unanimously agreed, that I should do my own repu tation and the world that justice, as to send “such a treasure of knowledge" (as they were pleased to express themselves) to the press. As for the work itself, I may venture to say, it is a work of time and experience, and entirely unattempted before. For which reason I hope the candid reader will be favourable in his judgment upon it, and consider that all sciences in their infancy have been weak and feeble. The next age may supply where I have been defective; and the next perhaps may produce a sir Isaac in punning. We know that logicians first spun out reason in categories, predicaments, and enunciations; and at last they came to wind up their bottoms in syllogisms, which is the completing of that science.

The Chaldeans began the mathematics, in which the Egyptians flourished. Then these, crossing the sea by the means of Thales the Milesian, came into Greece, where they were improved very much by Pythagoras, Anaxagoras, and Enopides of Chios. These were followed by Briso, Antipho, Hippocrates, &c. But the excellence of the algebraic art was begun by Geber, an Arabian astronomer, (whence, as is conceived, the word algebra took its rise,) and was much since improved by Cardanus, Tartaglia, Clavius, Stevinus, Ghetaldus, Herigenius, Fran. Van Schooten, Florida de Beaune, &c.

But to return to the art of punning again; the progress and improvement of which, I hope, will be equal to the sciences I have mentioned, or to any superior to them, if there be such: reader, I must trespass a little longer on your patience, and tell you an old maxim, Bonum, quo communius, eo melius. "Good, the more common, the better it is." You I have, in imitation of the industrious bee, gathered my honey from various flowers; but yet I cannot say without some diminution and loss to the persons from whom I have taken the examples to my rules, who are likely never to use their puns again.

see,

And here, to avoid the imputation of ingratitude, I must declare to the world, that my worthy friend Dr. R―, who is singularly remarkable for his unparalleled skill in punning, and a most industrious promoter of it, has been a very great instrument in bringing this work to light, as well by animating me to proceed in it as by endeavouring to procure a good letter for the impression.

The favourable acceptance that my puns have met with in some private companies makes me flatter myself that my labours therein will be candidly accepted, as they have been cordially intended to serve TOM PUN-SIBI. my native country.

From my Study, up one Pair of
Stairs, ill contrived Street-
wards, August 9th, 1719.

TO DR. SHERIDAN,

ON HIS ART OF PUNNING.

HAD I ten thousand mouths and tongues,
Had I ten thousand pair of lungs,
Ten thousand skulls, with brains to think,
Ten thousand standishes of ink,
Ten thousand hands and pens to write,
Thy praise I'd study day and night.

O may thy work for ever live!
(Dear Tom a friendly zeal forgive,)
May no vile, miscreant, saucy cook
Presume to tear thy learned book,
To singe his fowl for nicer guest,
Or pin it on the turkey's breast.