YOU, who would truly be wise, discarding all cant and all humbug;
You, who would know what is what, and also its converse-what isn't;
You, who would see through a millstone without peeping in at the hole;
You, who incline to impart to your grandmothers skill in egg-suction;
You, who would be on a level with tabac in pulverisation;
You, who would manifest knowledge concerning the hour on the dial;
Down on the knees of your heart, and thank MR. PUNCH for this Volume.
Here you will find the true story, here, and in no other quarter,
(For all the historians but PUNCH are windbags, and blockheads, and boobies,
And further to quote T. CARLYLE, Apes from the Sea called the Dead Sea,)
Of six most eventfullest months, first half of the year Fifty-Nine.
Year of the War in the South, and the winning the Derby by Musjid ;
Year when the Oxford boat won, and Cambridge was merged in the billows;
Year MR. MILLAIS came out with those terrible nuns in the graveyard;
Year the great Ebrew composer, BEER, gave Le Pardon de Ploermel;
Year the first fountain for drinking was set up by GURNEY, near Newgate;
Year ALFRED TENNYSON uttered a trumpet-tongued warning to Arm us;
Year that KING BOMBA departed from out of the world he polluted;
Year that the Daughter of England gave a nice baby to Prussia;
Year that MISS CRAIG took the prize for her Ode at the London BURNS Festival;
Year that the young PRINCE OF WALES was received by the POPE in the Vatican;